


Here to Play (For You)

by Sarolonde



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 3rd gym, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Basketball, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining!Tsukki, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Tsukishima Brothers - Freeform, oblivious!kuroo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 131,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5572645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarolonde/pseuds/Sarolonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not the first time Kei’s liked a boy he can’t have, he knows the pain and hopelessness of it, yet there is nothing he can do as he falls hard and fast for Tetsurou. Basketball forces them together but Kei finds himself not wanting to leave the warmth of Tetsurou’s friendship, no matter how much it hurts.</p><p>INDEFINITE HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Whirlwind

**Author's Note:**

> This AU is going to be long and feelsy and about friendship as much as it's about romance. I've read a lot of krtsk fic (like, A LOT) and I've noticed mostly Kuroo chases Tsukki (for obvious personality reasons and definitely not complaining) so this one is going to be the opposite. Kind of. Pining is probably more accurate than chasing in Tsukki's case.  
> This is the Haikyuu!! characters in America and therefore the culture will be quite different.
> 
>  **Warning:** Triggers with moderate amounts of Bullying and Homophobia. Sexual content (Underaged in Tsukishima and Akaashi's cases - both 17).
> 
> [my tumblr](http://sarolonde.tumblr.com/)

  **Part One - Falling (For You)**

 

Motivation. An invisible force within that pushes us to strive for a set goal. To do anything, to achieve anything. We need motivation; it gives us reason to reach, to try that extra bit harder and push past what we believe we are capable of.

Lacking motivation leaves you uncaring and cold. It leaves a hole in your heart that you don’t even feel the need to fill. Without motivation everything we do becomes pointless, hopeless and unnecessary.

Kei is somewhere trapped between the two. Until last year his motivation was at its lowest possible point. He didn’t care about anything. He went through each day in a mechanical haze of needs; sleep, eat, study. The only thing he did outside that monotonous routine was play basketball. Not because he wanted to – though now he realises there must have been some part of him deep down that _did_ – but because he thought he should. Tall, athletic and perceptive; it’s what people saw in him. So he played. For… fun? No, because he could.

Somewhere in those two years his team, Karasuno, a group of passionate basketball idiots, taught him that he was good but capable of much more, if he simply  _tried_. He would never admit it but Kei owed them immensely for the way they figuratively slapped him upside the head and showed him that potential is only what you make of it.

His brother had also been a defining factor. Initially the reason for Kei’s downfall, for his jaded outlook and taciturn personality, had been seeing his brother, who he had idolised immeasurably, fall before him, defeated. A victim of not measuring up to potential. Or so Kei had thought. Akiteru taught him that nothing is truly lost until you stop fighting for it. That giving up is worse than losing.

So, here he is, fighting for it.

Or something like that.

Though Kei now doesn’t completely lack motivation, he isn’t exactly swimming in it either. It’s a slow process.

“Kei,” he hears Akiteru’s voice call out from inside the house. “Kei, have you left yet?”

Cracking open one eye Kei winces slightly at the bright, early morning light assaulting his vision. The hammock he’s sprawled across sways slightly in the light breeze and there is a ball of black and white fur purring happily on his stomach, making him far too hot in the warmth of late summer.

“Of course you’re out here,” Akiteru sighs exasperatedly, voice much closer. “You’re supposed to already be halfway to school by now. I think you’re lazier than that damn cat.”

Okay, so maybe he’s not fighting all that hard. Yet. But he’ll get there. Maybe.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Kei drawls.

“Come on, I’ll drive you to school or you’ll be late for your first day.”

Rolling out of the hammock – the cat jumping off, incensed – Kei stands up and straightens his black rimmed glasses and the white headphones around his neck. Slinging his bag over his shoulder Kei follows his professionally attired brother out of the house.

After completing his freshman and sophomore years at Karasuno, Kei opted to transfer to Nekodani for his junior year. The high school has a better basketball team and is known for its academia, so when he came to live with Akiteru it was the obvious choice in the area. Especially because it was less than a fifteen minute walk away.

“Are you nervous?” Akiteru questions.

“No,” Kei lies but his brother side-eyes him dubiously as he navigates the heavy local traffic at school time. _Seriously, why can’t you just let one little white lie through?_ “A bit,” he amends with a huff.

Akiteru chuckles. “I would be worried if you weren’t. This is a big deal Kei, and I’m proud of you for doing it. Especially with everything you’ve been through. You deserve it.”

Kei fights the need to bury his swiftly reddening face in his hands at his brother’s praise and instead opts to look out his window at nothing in particular.

“Please don’t start this again. You’re unbelievably embarrassing.”

“I’m serious! I can’t wait to see you play again.”

At that Kei turns back to his brother, scowl firmly in place. Akiteru grins stupidly at him.

“I’m going to see you play whether you like it or not. I’ve missed watching you play.”

Kei truly appreciates his brother’s love and support; he’s honestly given more than Kei believes he deserves. Certainly more than his parents had given. Luckily they’re pulling into the school grounds so Akiteru can’t say any more annoyingly embarrassing things. Akiteru wishes him luck before he exits the car with a hum of acknowledgment.

Nekodani High School is incredibly large, much more so than his last school. It has actual departments for art and sport and language. It has two large gyms for their nationally ranked basketball team and an almost stadium size ground for the nationally ranked soccer team. It has a library bigger than Akiteru’s entire house and an even larger cafeteria. Needless to say, Nekodani is a prominent school.

Students mill about him in the same uniform as his own. Grey slacks or shorts with a white t-shirt and bright red striped tie; as well as a black vest and navy blue blazer that are far too warm to wear. The girl’s uniform is much the same, with a skirt instead. The students are all enthusiastically chatting away with their friends, excited to see each other.

“Tsukki!”

The other reason Nekodani is a good choice, he already has a friend here.

Standing by the main school gate is a boy a little shorter than him, with a face covered in freckles, grinning brightly and waving erratically. His brown hair is more than a little unkempt with a few strands pointing up at impossible angles and the corners of his brown eyes crinkle happily. Tadashi Yamaguchi is Kei’s best friend from elementary school and over the years of being at different junior and high schools they’ve remained close. Since Kei’s now living at Akiteru’s they’re now much closer to each other and spent a lot of the summer hanging out together.

“Tadashi,” Kei greets him flatly. “You’re too loud.”

“Sorry Tsukki,” he scratches the back of his neck while looking sheepish. “I’m just so excited you’re here! We’re finally at school together again!”

They make their way into the school grounds. The entrance opens onto a vast, well-maintained lawn with an open, concreted basketball court on the right. Students are sprawled on the lawn, indulging in the sun – that will soon be far less warm as summer fades into fall – socialising before classes start, while some guys play basketball.

“You took a tour of the school a couple of weeks ago, yeah?”

“Mm, though I still have little clue where everything is.”

Tadashi chuckles. “It’s a pretty big school but you’ll get used to it and I remember them giving me a lot of leeway with time when I first started. Hopefully you’ll have a lot of classes with me.”

“Fingers crossed.”

“So are you--?”

“Heads up!”

Beside him Tadashi reflexively ducks his head in preparation for the basketball flying towards them. Kei spots it from the corner of his eye and raises his hand to catch it but is beaten to it when something – or rather someone – flies past him, catching it against their chest. The short redheaded boy lands steadily in front of him. Kei regards him indifferently, even though it's rather remarkable for someone so small to be able to catch the ball on their chest at Kei’s head height of 190cms.

“ _Woah!_ Did’ya see that, Tetsu? That kid’s a damn flying squirrel!”

Kei turns his gaze to the two guys gawking at the redhead and to whom the ball belongs. Of course he knows exactly who they are, this is Nekodani after all, the state basketball champion in their age group. The loud mouthed one with tall spikey grey and black hair, large yellow-brown eyes and an overly expressive face is Koutarou Bokuto, Nekodani’s power forward and Ace. The one who's smirk is equal parts creepy and attractive, with an erratically shaped bedhead of ink black hair, is Tetsurou Kuroo, Nekodani’s centre and Captain.

They’re the two best players in the state and Koutarou’s ranked third best power forward nationally. They’re the only remaining players at the school from last year’s winning state championship team. If Kei is to play for Nekodani’s first string team, these would be his teammates. He’s not usually one to be intimidated but these two get him close.

The redheaded kid straightens and Kei sees the same recognition in his fiery orange eyes. He clearly plays basketball too.

“Yo, shortie, you’ve got a nice leap on you,” Tetsurou remarks, scheming smirk never leaving his face as he raises his hand for the ball.

Kei sees the short kid grinning gleefully and it sparks a competitive desire within him. Barely turning to face them, Kei snatches the ball from redhead with his left hand and swiftly passes the ball with a skillful flick of his wrist. Had anyone other than an experienced player received that pass – his most powerful – they would have dropped it due to the force. Tetsurou receive it with ease but his grin broadens as his almost feral gaze moves to Kei.

“Oh? What’s this? That’s some power you’ve got there, Glasses,” Tetsurou practically purrs, tilting his head as his eyes move past Kei. “Oi, Freckles, you know these guys?”

Frowning momentarily Kei remembers that Tadashi is a manager for the basketball club. They had played together in elementary school, and Tadashi went on to play in junior school, but quit going into high school because the team was simply too good. Not that he was bad, they were literally just that good. His best friend had wanted to keep up with the sport though, so he became a manager of the club. There was also something about a cute blonde girl if Kei remembers correctly.

“A-Ah, yes, this is Kei Tsukishima, my best friend,” Tadashi introduces him.

“He’s so _tall_!” Koutarou squawks, beaming at Kei like he’s a shiny treasure. “No way you’re a freshman!”

“Junior, I’m a transfer,” Kei responds casually, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Me too! A-A transfer I mean, sophomore. I’m Shouyou Hinata,” he introduces himself, stuttering and looking a little awestruck.

 _Thank God for my poker-face so I don’t have to look like that idiot,_ Kei thinks.

Tetsurou grins at them and then spins the ball on his finger like the showman he is. “Well gentlemen, welcome to Nekodani. I hope to see you at basketball tryouts tomorrow afternoon. Can’t wait to see what else you’ve got.”

Before he can do his whole cool guy walking away act Koutarou ruins it, snatching the ball from him with a shrill battle cry, that sounds somewhere between a bird of prey and a dying animal. Unfazed Tetsurou strolls back over to the basketball court where the Ace just slam dunked and is now cheering himself on enthusiastically.

Kei clicks his tongue and barely spares Shouyou a glance before continuing his walk into school, Tadashi at his side excitedly chatting away about the Nekodani basketball club. He may as well have the headphones, that are sitting around his neck, on his ears for all the attention he’s paying his friend. No matter how much Kei tries to break free, he can’t stop thinking about that purring voice and ridiculous, yet charming, grin.

 

* * *

 

After getting his class schedule – from a homeroom he luckily shares with Tadashi – they discover they have a couple of classes together and share lunch period. This relaxes Kei marginally, in what was once a daunting day ahead.

Sorting their lockers out and putting most of their books away, they go to their first class, English. At Kei’s request Tadashi explains where things are along the way and he tries to take in as much as he can. It all looks so similar though, a maze of modern grey and white hallways.

Their first class passes slowly as, unsurprisingly, most of it is a rundown of the curriculum for the year ahead. Tadashi is kind enough to show Kei to his next class, History, which, luckily for both of them, isn’t too far. With his characteristic, all too friendly, smile Tadashi wishes Kei luck and leaves for his own class. Kei’s never liked to rely on people too much – the possibility of being let down is always too high and it doesn’t matter how much they’re supposed to care for you – but right now he wishes Tadashi wasn’t leaving.

 _You can do this Kei,_ he pep talks himself while sucking in a deep, shaky breath. Swallowing hard he opens the classroom door. He’s early so the teacher isn’t there yet and neither is most of the class.

“Excuse me?” A voice calls to him when he’s closing the door.

Turning slowly, he’s met with soft brown eyes and a hopeful smile. The boy has short strawberry blond hair that’s neatly styled into a spikey mess and his short frame is leaning over a desk where another boy sits.

“Hi,” the short boys waves delicately. “Can you please bring me that box of tissues?”

Kei turns to where he’s pointing and sees the tissues. Without thinking too much about it, simply following orders because the boy asked so politely, Kei takes the box and ambles over to them. Placing the box on the desk, the boy, whose short stature is even more apparent when Kei stands next to him – a whole 25cms taller than him – thanks him.

“Here Kenma,” the small boy offers the one sitting, almost raising the tissue to his snotty nose to wipe it for him, practically parental. “Blow your nose.”

The boy at the desk is hunched over a PSP and mumbles a response before obediently wiping his messy nose. His hair is rather long and straight, falling around his face, and it's dyed blond with dark roots coming through at the top of his head. Kei can’t see his face though as the boy’s – Kenma’s – eyes never leave the console in his hand, especially not from his ridiculously high angle.

“My names Morisuke Yaku by the way,” he introduces himself with a friendly smile. “You must be new; I haven’t seen you before.”

He nods. “I just transferred here. I’m Kei Tsukishima.”

“Nice to meet you, Kei. Are you here to play basketball?”

Cocking an eyebrow, he asks, “How do you know that?”

Morisuke laughs and then looks him up and down. “Generally it’s a good bet for anyone over six foot that comes to this school. I’m Nekodani’s small forward and this is Kenma Kozume, point guard.”

They don’t really look the part for team members of the highest ranked basketball team in the state, especially not in comparison to Tetsurou and Koutarou. Upon further inspection though Kei notices their muscle definition of their arms and legs – both wearing shorts where Kei prefers slacks even in the warm weather.

“I’ll give a good word to the Captain for you,” Morisuke grins at him. “For being so nice.”

“Th-Thanks.”

With Tadashi as his best friend Kei would think he'd be used to a friendly personality like Morisuke’s, and yet it throws him a little. A group of students walk in, shortly followed by the teacher and everyone takes their seat. Kei sits behind Kenma as the gamer is instructed, by Morisuke, not the teacher, to put his PSP away and complies with a hum.

History is one of Kei’s favourite subjects and he listens intently to the teacher – who seems rather tolerable compared to his already obnoxious English teacher – as she explains what they’ll be studying. The class passes quickly while Kei avidly listens.

“Do you need help getting to your next class?” Morisuke turns to ask when the class is over and Kei swears his entire body relaxes - from a tension he didn’t know he’d been feeling - due to his consideration. “What do you have?”

How he accidentally found possibly the kindest person in his year level he’ll never know. _He reminds me of Koushi._

“Er,” Kei says, shuffling through his things to find his schedule. “Health, in room…”

“Five ten,” Kenma finishes for him and turns to face him. “I’m in the same class. I’ll take you.”

For the first time Kei sees the boy’s face and is rather surprised that such a timid person is so attractive. Attractive people tend to be more confident and outgoing, like Tetsurou. Though Kenma is certainly a different type of attractive than Nekodani’s Captain; softer with striking yellow eyes, rather than charmingly dishevelled with an all too handsome face and breathtaking smile.

 _Wait… What?_ Kei almost frowns to himself before bringing himself back to reality. _Stop appraising Tetsurou Kuroo’s attractiveness._

“Thank you, I’d appreciate it,” Kei says.

With final mothering words from Morisuke before they part ways, Kenma leads Kei through the seas of students on their way to class. They’re silent the entire way, but it doesn’t feel awkward, even though Kei can feel Kenma observing him. Somehow it feels harmless, an uncertainty on the other’s behalf for himself, rather than for Kei.

When they enter their Health class a few students are already gathered, chatting at their desks.

“Kenma, your shoe is untied,” a monotonous voice informs him as he approaches his desk.

 _Does everyone in this school mother this boy?_ Kei wonders and then his eyes move to the owner of the voice. _Or just the basketball team?_

Kei immediately recognises him as Nekodani’s point guard, Keiji Akaashi, who was unlucky to miss out in last year’s state championship team due to the skill of a now graduated point guard. Kei had watched the skilful point guard play a few games back in junior school.

If he thought Kenma was pretty, then this boy is indisputably the epitome of beautiful. His elegantly shaped eyes are a gentle dark grey-green, that set Kei at ease as soon as their gazes meet, and his narrow face, fine cheekbones and sculpted nose, can only be described as perfect. His short dark hair is messy but it really doesn’t matter, with a face like that he could probably have a mullet and still be ridiculously attractive. Though Kei doesn’t think Keiji’s quite as attractive as Tetsurou; he lacks a—

 _Oh my God, don’t,_ Kei practically growls at himself.

Quietly Kei takes the seat in front of Keiji. He’s surprised when the introverted Kenma introduces Kei to Keiji, since Kenma hadn’t seemed at all interested in him when they’d met in the previous class. It almost seems as if it’s important that Kenma informs Keiji.

“This is Kei Tsukishima, he’ll be playing with us,” Kenma says flatly, like it’s a certainty that he’ll get a place on the team – which it isn’t.

Kei swivels in his seat to meet Keiji’s calm gaze. “Keiji Akaashi, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too.”

Something about the two of them make him suspicious, but not uncomfortable. Considering this is his first time meeting them Kei feels unusually relaxed in their presence. He feels like the three of them are already close, like they’ll get along well and already have a deep understanding of each other. Which is strange since Kei tends not to like people.

Expecting questions about the position he plays or his previous school or his experience in basketball games, Kei’s quite surprised when the skilled point guard, Keiji, asks, “Other than basketball what brings you do Nekodani?”

It’s unnerving that, firstly, Keiji speculates that there are other reasons – which, there are; reasons no one other than his brother knows – and, secondly, that a possible future professional basketballer doesn’t want to know about Kei’s basketball. In fact, he wants to know anything ‘other than’ it.

“I, uh… I moved nearby over summer. My old school was too far.”

Keiji nods almost imperceptibly and doesn’t get to ask another question as the teacher enters and abruptly starts the class.

 

* * *

 

“So, do you like Nekodani so far?” Tadashi asks, standing by Kei’s locker and waiting patiently for him.

“It’s okay,” Kei answers noncommittally as he rifles through his locker to collect the text books he needs for homework.

Tadashi chuckles, likely at his ‘classic Kei’ non-response. Which, it is. He often wonders how Tadashi can be so patient with him and almost carry on a whole conversation without him _and_ avoid being annoying whilst he does so. It’s a talent. Akiteru does the same. Likely the only friends Kei will ever make are incredibly tolerant ones; or ones that, like him, are reserved.

“Did you meet anyone in the classes I didn’t have with you?”

Kei hums as he closes his locker and they set off to leave. “I met Morisuke and Kenma in my History class and then Kenma has Health with me too, so he took me there where he introduced me to Keiji.”

“Oh, wow, meeting most of the team already,” Tadashi remarks. “Speaking of which, you’re definitely going to try-outs tomorrow, right? I haven’t seen you play in a while but Tetsurou tends to have a good eye and he really seemed to like you.”

 _Those words really shouldn’t make you as happy as they do…_ Kei thinks to himself. _He doesn’t mean_ that _way._

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Kei replies casually, ignoring his ridiculous thoughts. “Half the reason I came here remember Tadashi.”

“Just making sure. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone, or well, the rest, and get to know everyone. They’re all really cool. I think you’ll fit in and have a lot of fun!”

“You’re over selling.”

“Ah, right, sorry Tsukki!”

On the way out Tadashi talks about the Nekodani basketball team, their positions and their personalities and what they do throughout the year and how fun the camps and games are. Tadashi lives in the complete opposite direction to Kei so they say goodbye at the school gate and go their separate ways, Tadashi waving and smiling brightly saying ‘See you tomorrow!’, like Kei coming to Nekodani is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Which, it isn’t, it’s just how Tadashi acts about anything that makes him happy and many things do. He's and overly joyful mess at Christmas.

Other students that live near the school walk home in front and behind him, chatting happily with each other and groaning about how annoying the school work is. Kei fishes his headphones out of his bag, sets them so they’re comfortable against his glasses and plays music that cuts out all the annoying babble.

In the weeks leading up to this day, his first day at Nekodani, he’d been excessively anxious about it. To the point that he forcibly occupied himself with countless other things, arbitrarily things that he certainly didn’t need or want to do. And now, after the fact, he realises that the day was fine and obviously he was being stupid.

_Hindsight is twenty, twenty even if my vision isn’t._

The groups of students start to thin as he gets further away from school, until he can no longer see anyone walking in front of him. Kei walks slowly, lazily, in the summer heat; though his long legs make it so he can never truly walk overly slowly. He hears a loud voice behind the noise of his music, but surely no one can be calling after him. He doesn’t know anyone but Tadashi and they separated a while back. He doesn’t want to turn back but Kei turns down his music just in case.

“Yo, Glasses!” someone calls. He pulls his headphones off, setting them around his neck to make the voices less muffled. Though surely they’re not talking to him… “Um, tall guy! What the shit is his name…?”

“Kei,” a monotonous voice offers.

“That’s the one! Wait, Ken, how do you know him?”

“I have classes with him.”

Kei turns, and considering the voices he can now hear and their conversation, he isn’t surprised to see Kenma and Tetsurou following after him. The latter grins brightly at Kei upon meeting his gaze. While he’s used to Tadashi’s warm smiles they’re almost nothing compared to the complete and utter glee of Tetsurou’s casual grin. Key word, casual. How is it possible for something so casual to be so spectacular?

“Hey, I kinda wanna call you ‘Legs’ because damn dude, those things are long,” Tetsurou comments are they catch up to the halted Kei. “I play basketball, tall dudes aren't exactly rare, but yours are right up there with the longest legs. I can’t call you that though because I already have ‘Glasses’… Honestly neither suit you though. Hmm…” He ponders like it’s important and like they know each other better than the recent acquaintances they are.

“You could always just call him by his name,” Kenma deadpans, not removing his gaze from the PSP, Kei’s surprised has any battery left after seemingly being played all day.

“Nah, that’s too boring. You got any nicknames, Glasses?”

Tetsurou Kuroo is like a whirlwind. Before you even know what’s happening he sweeps you up and you’re lost in the chaos of his mind and for some indescribable reason you go along with him. No, not indescribable, you _want_ to go along with him. He makes you crave the chaos.

“My best friend calls me Tsukki,” Kei answers, as if of no will of his own.

 _Fuck,_ why _?! Why did I say that? I don’t want him to call me by a name I barely tolerate my best friend using._

“Tsukki! Fuck, that’s so _adorable_!” Tetsurou cheers, practically bouncing. “That’s it, nickname sorted. Now, Tsukki, please tell me you’re coming to try-outs tomorrow after school.”

 _Who_ is _this guy…?_

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

“Awesome! How long you been playing?”

“As long as I can remember.”

“Where did you play last year?”

“Karasuno.”

Tetsurou frowns slightly and runs his fingers through his thick black hair. “If I remember correctly they’re a pretty good team. Got unlucky last year with game draws and injuries though?”

Kei nods but doesn’t respond, adjusting his glasses. It was a difficult year for Kei, for numerous reasons. Having just come into some form of motivation he was deeply disappointed – they all were – after losing when they had the potential for to go so much further.

In keeping up with Kei’s long legged strides – with ease, because even with his exaggerations about Kei’s legs, Tetsurou’s only a few centimetres shorter – Tetsurou finally seems to notice that they’ve let Kenma lag behind. The latter not noticing, or possibly not caring.

“Ken, hurry up will you?”

He makes a noise of acknowledgement and asks, “Why?”

“Because without my guidance you will likely stray onto the road and get hit by a car like some naïve little house cat.”

“Why didn’t we just drive?”

“Exercise Ken, with no practice today we need it.”

“You’ll go play on the public court tonight anyway.”

“I meant for you, lazy ass,” Tetsurou chuckles. “If you keep up with us I’ll play half an hour of Super Smash Brothers with you.”

“An hour.”

“Forty minutes.”

Without a word of acceptance Kenma picks up his pace and Tetsurou grins victoriously as they continue on, as if having struck some silent deal. They seem close, like lifetime-worth-of-friendship close and having-silent-conversations close. Not even Kei and Tadashi are quite that close.

“Where do you live, Tsukki? Is it far?”

 _And he is_ never _going to stop calling me that. Good one Kei._

“No, not far. Just down on Sendai street.”

“Is that the one with the corner store?”

“Yes, I live across from it.”

“Oh, cool!” Tetsurou excites, like he’s happy to know where Kei lives. “Not too far from us. Ken lives next door, has all my life. But we have to go down here.”

Tetsurou indicates as the footpath diverts down another street that he and Kenma turn onto.

“Okay.”

“See ya tomorrow Tsukki! I look forward to seeing how well you can play,” he winks, Tetsurou Kuroo actually winks, _because apparently all the charm of your voice and your face and your stupid messy hair isn’t enough._

“Bye Kei,” Kenma actually looks up and gives him a small smile.

Despite himself, despite the air of cool nonchalance he prefers to maintain, Kei stares after their receding forms. He’s lost, that much he knows, lost and dizzy after the whirlwind of Tetsurou has passed. It’s unsettling and disorienting… So why does he like it? Why does he want more?

“Did you just _smile_?” Tetsurou asks Kenma, overly dramatic in his incredulity.

“No.”

“Did you make a friend today, Ken?”

“Shut up, Kuro.”

“Oh my God you _did_! I’m so proud of you!”

Shaking himself of his daze Kei turns abruptly on his heel and walks to his – Akiteru’s – house hurriedly. Pushing open the gate that reads ‘111 Sendai Street’ Kei makes his way inside. His brother isn’t home yet so he engrosses himself with homework in an attempt to occupy his mind.

Kei’s nervous about tomorrow’s try-outs despite the lesson he learned today about things never being as bad as they seem – like that lesson will ever truly be learned. Even though he’s always been rather confident with his skill in the sport, he now finds himself doubting it. Nekodani _won_ the state championship, is a nationally ranked basketball team and their players are mostly going to become professional athletes. What makes Kei think he can help them achieve their goal of national champions? What makes him think he even stands a chance at a spot on the team?

“Stop,” he groans to himself and buries his head further into his Calculus textbook.

_I’m not worried, it’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. Focus on maths. Focus._

Successfully silencing the doubt with homework and music Kei doesn’t even notice an hour go by until Akiteru taps him on the shoulder. So lost in his study coma – also the headphones don’t help – Kei almost jumps out of his seat in surprise.

“Jesus, _fuck_!” Kei pulls his headphones down around his neck and grips his chest where his heart is hammering with the fright, muttering about a ‘heart attack’.

His brother is bent over in a fit of laughter. “I-I called out.”

“Yeah, well, I had my headphones on dumbass. What are you blind?”

“No, but you are,” he jokes, flicking Kei in the forehead.

Kei sighs. “My vision is really not that bad.”

“So…” Akiteru drags out the word as he unpacks groceries in the open plan kitchen behind him “How was school?”

“It was fine.”

“You should be a writer because, oh, the beautifully detailed word picture you’re painting…”

“I met up with Tadashi, I went to classes, I came home.”

“Did you make any new friends?”

“M-Maybe, I don’t know, it’s been one day Aki.”

“Did you meet any boys?”

Kei rolls his eyes. “Probably. Roughly half of the schools rather large student body is male so, yes, there is a good chance, fifty per cent to be specific, that I met at least one boy.”

“You know what I mean, Kei.”

“And you know I’m not going to answer.”

“Sounds like a yes to me,” he can hear the smirk in Akiteru’s voice and grits his teeth against the smile that’s threatening his own face. “You know it’s okay, right? I just want you to know that you’re free to be yourself here. That I’m fine with it and you can meet boys and bring them here. Hopefully just one at a time because--”

“Yes, Akiteru, I get it!” Kei huffs, interrupting his brothers rambling. He tries so hard to make Kei comfortable here and Kei loves him for it. “I know and I’m grateful that you accept me. And I promise I’ll tell you if I ‘meet a boy’, will that appease you?”

“Yes!”

“Good. Now, I’m going to my room to finish my homework because you’re disruptive.”

As Kei walks past the kitchen Akiteru sticks his tongue out, like the grown adult he is and Kei rolls his eyes, like the only slightly less mature teenager he is. Once in his bedroom Kei drops his books on the bed and flops back on it, staring up at the ceiling rather than actually doing what he said he was going to do.

If there is one thing Kei is certain about in the uncertain chaos of his adolescent mind, it’s that he likes boys. There is not a shred of doubt in his mind that he’s gay. He knew a few of years ago but was too scared of it to even consider telling anyone and then, last year, he confided in his mother. What a giant, screaming, painful, idiotic mistake that had been.

Like the true hero, like the hero Kei has always known him to be, his big brother saved him. Kei owes Akiteru everything he has; everything he will have and will be is because of his brother. The one who accepted the burden that is Kei Tsukishima with open arms.

 _There might be a boy…_ Kei thinks a little guiltily.

He sighs, far too wistfully. _Tetsurou Kuroo. Why does it have to be him?_


	2. Tryouts

Getting out of bed in the morning is hard. No matter how much Tetsurou has to look forward to in his day, no matter how excited he is for the day and no matter how much he wants to simply get started, he just can’t. Bed is comfortable, bed is warm. Why can’t all the happy and exciting things come to him? Why can’t all the good things in his life be here in bed with him all day?

With a lengthy, dramatic groan Tetsurou practically rolls himself from under the pillows and covers and onto the floor where it’s cold and uncomfortable. Well, his grey carpet’s not so bad, but it’s definitely not his bed. Now  _that_  is comfort.

His muscles protest the effort it takes to rise from the floor and he stretches them lazily. Tetsurou rubs at his eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to remove the blur across his vision, sauntering into the spacious bathroom across the hall. Routinely, he locks the door, takes off his clothes and steps under the warm spray of water. The warmth reminds him of his bed and he feels his body sag with relaxation again. How he does this every morning without falling asleep, falling over and breaking his neck he will never know. He doesn’t spend long in the shower, forcing himself to turn the hot faucet off and hissing at the cold that suddenly assaults his tan skin. This is how he wakes up, the only thing – aside from caffeine – that makes him function like a normal human being in the morning.

Awake from the cold water jump start that went straight to his brain, Tetsurou towel dries and dresses into his school uniform with renewed vigour. His hair remains an indomitable mess that he, many years ago, gave up on attempting to subdue. No matter how he blow dries, towel dries, brushes, styles or – at his laziest – rolls out of bed, it stubbornly remains a dense black bedhead of doom. Though these days he’s less frustrated by it, girls often comment that it adds to his ‘devilish charm’, which is definitely not something he wants to take away from.

With his books packed away neatly and his bag slung over his shoulder, he bounces down the stairs and into the kitchen where his mother is eating breakfast at the kitchen table.

“Morning, mom,” Tetsurou smiles cheerfully at her.

“Good morning, honey. You have an extra spring in your step, something exciting happening today?”

“Hells yes,” he enthuses, sitting in the seat next to her and digging into the eggs and bacon on toast she made him. “Today’s tryouts! I finally get to be all bossy and Captain-y, recruiting new troops to the cause and all that.”

His mother laughs affectionately. “I bet you’ll be great and whip those boys into shape. How’s the team looking this year?”

“Well we have me and Kou so we’re definitely going to win states,” Tetsurou grins around his fork. “And of course we have Keiji as the best possible replacement for point guard. Honestly, I thought he was better than Thompson last year, but it was his last year… If it were up to me I would have chosen Keiji anyway.”

“He’s very good,” his mother agrees, she’s well versed in the sport, impossible not to be when it’s practically Tetsurou’s entire life. She’s dependably encouraging; the greatest source of support he could ask for. “What about shooting guard and small forward?”

Tetsurou hums in thought, pushing at an egg yolk with his fork. “Well, we have Lev and Mori, they’re good. But Lev’s shooting isn’t the best, I’d prefer him to play centre, but he obviously can’t because I’m the best choice for centre.”

“Maybe you’ll get some promising new recruits that you can polish into tier one players?”

“That would be ideal,” he mutters and glances up at the clock on the wall. “I gotta go get Ken. Thanks for breakfast mom. See you tomorrow.”

“Have a good day honey,” she smiles warmly at him as he kisses her on the head and jogs to the front door.

His mother works late shifts and usually doesn’t get home until after Tetsurou’s gone to bed, so, apart from these mornings they share breakfast, he only really sees her on weekends. She loves her new job so Tetsurou attempts not to complain about how little he gets to see her now. He loves his mother but he’s a grown ass man, he can allow his mother this happiness and time away from her clingy son.

Closing his front door firmly behind him, Tetsurou walks around to the house next door. Pulling a set of keys from his pocket, selecting the one shaped like a cat and sliding it into the lock. Once he’s inside, the door closed behind him, he listens for movement and rolls his eyes when he hears none.  _Of course he’s not up yet…_ he thinks, stalking over to Kenma’s closed bedroom door.

“You better not be jerking off,” Tetsurou says after knocking.

With that as sufficient warning he opens the door to find the bedroom dark and with his eyes adjusted to the early morning light, he can’t see anything. Huffing in annoyance Tetsurou flicks the light switch on and hears a mewling groan from under a pile of blankets. No, not a pile, a wrapped bunch. Bed-socked feet stick out one end while a head of blond hair with dark regrowth sticks out the other.

Instantly Tetsurou chuckles and retrieves his phone from his pocket, shamelessly taking a photo of his half asleep best friend. Tagging the photo ‘breakfast burrito anyone?’ he sends it to the group chat he has perpetually open with his friends, snickering at his own amazing sense of humour.

“Hey, Ken, get up,” Tetsurou orders, sliding his phone back in his pocket. “We’re going to be late.”

The wrap of blankets moves ever so slightly, groaning. “Why are you so energetic…?”

“It’s tryouts today!”

More groaning. “You’re the worst.”

“If you don’t get out of bed now I’m not driving you to school, you can walk.”

Grumbling something about ‘not my father’ and ‘too early’ Kenma unrolls himself from the blankets and ambles – like a zombie – across the room to his dresser. Allowing his friend some privacy – though they get changed in front of each other in the locker rooms all the time – Tetsurou leaves Kenma to get dressed and checks his phone in the hallway, leaning against the wall.

 **[06:57] KouBro**  – sorry bro, ona strictly brunet diet  
**[06:59] Keiji**  – don’t be disgusting Koutarou you won’t be on it for long if you keep that up  
**[06:59] Keiji**  – and Tetsurou stop making fun of Kenma  
**[07:00] MoriYaku**  – that doesn’t look like a safe way to sleep  
**[07:01] Tetsu**  – technically he IS a brunet bro :P and hes fine keij and mori, if not a lil annoyin

“You know I’m a part of this chat right?” Kenma questions as he exits his room messily dressed in his uniform, his voice still heavy with sleep.

“Only makes it more fun,” Tetsurou grins at Kenma and then shows him his phone with Koutarou’s flustered response. “See.”

 **[07:01] KouBro**  – shit he is too srry ken ur just not my type keijs the only burrito i wanna eat :P  
**[07:01] Keiji** – Koutarou shut up!

“Sometimes I think you’re pure evil,” Kenma murmurs before walking away.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, having fucked with Koutarou enough for one morning, Tetsurou follows Kenma into the kitchen. Kenma rifles through the cupboard and retrieves a chocolate coated pop-tart which he promptly unwraps and puts in his mouth.

“Ken, you need to eat healthier than that,” Tetsurou lectures him about his diet for the umpteenth time, if only he would actually listen. “You’ll be playing today, you need more nutrients than the absolute zero you get from a pop-tart.”

“Yes dad,” Kenma deadpans on his way back to his room to retrieve his bag. “I’ll eat a better lunch.”

“Yeah, you better,” he says, they have different lunch periods, which is annoying as he can’t keep an eye on Kenma. “I really wish at least Keij or Mori had lunch with you to make sure. Does Freckles have lunch with you?”

“I’m not incapable of feeding myself.”

Tetsurou raises an eyebrow at him as they walk out the front door. “Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

Silence follows as they make their way to the car, Tetsurou’s mouth is curled waiting for Kenma’s eventual, quietly petulant response. The lights of his red Volkswagen Jetta flash as he presses the unlock button on the key and they get in. Kenma mumbles a barely audible ‘I’m not’ as Tetsurou starts the engine.

The first time Tetsurou met Kenma is a vague memory from long ago. Kenma, ever shy, had been reluctant, hiding behind his mother’s leg as Tetsurou, naturally inquisitive and confident, grinned at him and tried to get Kenma to play with him. Or so he’d been told. Tetsurou honestly doesn’t remember a time when they weren’t comfortable with each other, when Kenma wasn’t like family. Growing up as only children they were the sibling each other never had.

“You really aren’t excited about tryouts at all Ken?” Tetsurou asks curiously.

Kenma hums distractedly as he fishes his PSP from his backpack. “I already know what you’ll do with the teams.”

“Really? Let me guess, you think the first string team will be: Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, Haiba, Yaku?”

“Not quite,” he responds, gazing down at the machine between his fingers.

“Oh? What then do  _you_  think will happen, little genius?”

Sharp yellow eyes glance up at him, the knowing glint in them informing Tetsurou that Kenma knows more than he’s letting on. He doesn’t say anything though, his eyes move back to the game in his hands and all attention is drawn to it. Knowing he won’t get an answer Tetsurou focuses on the busy roads. He’s not sure why his friend won’t disclose whatever information he’s holding onto, he tells Tetsurou everything. Unless they’re not his secrets to tell…

As they pull up in a parking space in Nekodani’s parking lot Koutarou bounces over to them, with far too much energy at this hour in the morning, even for Tetsurou who’s excited for the day. As annoying as the Ace can be, Tetsurou has always found him oddly endearing when most people find him… Well, annoying.

“Broooo,” Koutarou all but yells as Tetsurou gets out of the car, jumping on his shoulders. “It’s the big day!”

“Yeah bro. We’re gunna smash it this year,” he grins, bumping fists with his less quiet best friend. “We’re gonna show Davis how to Captain a Nationals winning team!”

In the distance Keiji waves a greeting to Tetsurou as Kenma approaches and the two quiet juniors make their way into the school, leaving Tetsurou to pacify the overly enthusiastic Ace. Tetsurou met Koutarou in junior school and they immediately bonded over their beloved basketball, playing and winning for the school together. They’ve played one-on-one against each other so much and played so many games together that their awareness of each other’s presence on court is borderline preternatural.

“You think the new recruits will replace any of us on court?” Koutarou asks, quietening as his mind sets to work contemplating team dynamics.

“Mm, maybe the Shrimp we met yesterday,” Tetsurou contemplates as they slowly make their way into school. “If the rest of his skills are anywhere near as good as his vertical leap then he’s sure to take Mori’s place.”

“What about the Glasses guy? You gave him that weird look, you know, that impressed look.”

“Tsukki.”

“God bless you…?”

“Ah, it’s his nickname. Ken and I ran into him on our way home yesterday, he lives near us,” he explains, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sure about him though. His pass was powerful, as good as Keiji’s,  _and_  left handed… Could be promising. Not sure where he’d play though. Centre?”

“Must be, he’s so tall!”

“He’s not very solid though. And obviously he wouldn’t take my place,” Tetsurou puffs out his chest.

“Nah bro, no one’s as good as you!”

He chuckles, patting Koutarou on the back. “Damn straight.”

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou’s classes pass in a customary haze of information he somehow manages to absorb even though his mind is thoroughly busy contemplating the basketball team. It’s his responsibility now. With Coach Keishin’s help it’s his job to get the team to nationals. That’s the least he has to do – which in and of itself is monstrous, even though the team is known for it – and the most he can do… Win nationals. Which Nekodani hasn’t done in fifteen years. It’s his last year so Tetsurou has set himself the big goal of claiming the national title for his team. Because why not?

At lunch Tetsurou stretches his long arms above his head as he enters the cafeteria, the muscles in his back aching restlessly after sitting at a desk for such a long period of time.  _God, I cannot wait to get on the damn basketball court,_  he thinks as his eyes roam over the large room of noisy students. Koutarou’s giant horned-owl shaped head of silver and black hair is difficult to miss and Tetsurou casually wanders over to the table where he and Keiji are sitting.

“Bro,” his friend greets him customarily.

“Bro. Hey Keiji,” Tetsurou says, sitting across from them, then his eyes narrow on them. “So, how are you guys dealin’ with this? It’s still secret right?”

Keiji’s dark green eyes glance at Koutarou, who’s slumped far too relaxed in the chair beside him. “Yes, and we’re going to keep it that way until someone likely stumbles across us kissing and spreads it around the entire school.”

There is an almost indiscernible tightness in Keiji’s voice, if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t recognise it. His relationship with Koutarou – new as of summer, one month ago, though with Koutarou’s over affectionate personality you’d swear it has been longer – stresses him. Keiji’s worried about people discovering and ridiculing them. Even with gay marriage legal in this country, and a much broader acceptance than a few years ago, it’s still a daunting thing. Especially at high school, where pretty much the majority of people are assholes who are happy to make other people feel bad to make themselves feel better. It’s wonderful, a lovely place to be sure. Also, being athlete’s, nationally ranked in Koutarou’s case, it’s not exactly unwarranted stress.

Tetsurou feels bad for them. They’re his closest friends and he only wants them to be happy. Honestly he’s mostly just incredibly happy that, after a year of pining, Koutarou is finally with Keiji. That was a mope-fest he does not want to endure ever again. But if anyone ever does anything bad to them because of their sexuality, Tetsurou cannot guarantee he won’t lose his shit. They're like family and he will do anything to protect them.

“It’ll be fine Keiji,” Koutarou reassures him, hand twitching with a need to rub his boyfriend on the back comfortingly, but he manages to restrain himself.

“No, Koutarou, it won’t. You know what you’re like. We’re going to get caught.”

“Maybe it’s better if people find out now?” Tetsurou proposes and Keiji looks at him as if he’s stupid, which isn’t all that different from his perpetual expression of indifference. “Like, so they know and get over it before school and basketball start getting hectic.”

Keiji sighs, the expression on his far too pretty face unchanging. “Maybe.”

With how all over each other they’ve been – or rather how all over Keiji, Koutarou’s been – over summer it’s a wonder the whole school doesn’t know already. They must have gotten lucky. Whenever it happens, their 'coming out' is going to be  _big_ ; as the entire school knows Koutarou due to his prowess in basketball. Tetsurou just hopes that it’s not negative. Probably wishful thinking.

“Excited to play in the first string this year Keiji?” Tetsurou questions, changing the subject in an attempt to distract him.

He nods, albeit solemnly. “It’ll be a good year with the three of us. Kenma might out-skill me this year though.”

Tetsurou scoffs. “I think you’re safe. The kid has his head too far in his games to actually reach his full potential. Though I’m not convinced he’d be better than you even then. You’re too modest Keiji.”

“You’re really amazing ba--” Koutarou stops halfway through calling him ‘babe’ to which Keiji narrows his eyes in warning. “You should have more confidence in your ability,  _Keiji_.”

_Smooth._

Grinning around his apple Tetsurou watches as they stare at each other; Keiji looking practically murderous – which is little more than a minor narrowing of his eyes and some tension in his jaw – and Koutarou giving him a sheepish smile. Slowly, and after many awkwardly silent seconds, Keiji turns his attention back to Tetsurou.

“Who does Kenma have lunch with?” Tetsurou asks, once again offering a welcome subject change.

“Lev, Hitoka, Kei and Tadashi,” Keiji answers, picking at his food.

“Oh thank fuck for Freckles. At least someone will be there to look after—Wait, Kei…?” His dark brow furrows, he knows that name. “You know Tsukki?”

“I have Health with him.”

“Oh… Cool. What’s he like?”

Keiji’s smoky green eyes glance up at him and his head tilts almost imperceptibly. “He’s quiet and tall. How do you know him…?”

The way the question trials off suggests hidden meaning that Tetsurou can’t quite understand.

“Tsukki lives near Tetsu and Ken,” Koutarou answers while Tetsurou finds himself busy contemplating everyone’s weirdness. “Also we met Tsukki and this Shrimpy kid with an incredible jump yesterday morning. Tetsu thinks they both have potential for the team.”

Keiji’s eyes never leave Tetsurou’s face as the Ace explains and he feels like he’s being studied and scrutinised for some science project. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Keiji straightens and whatever micro expression was marginally changing his attractive features disappears. “Like what?”

Everyone is being weird today, except Koutarou, who looks as baffled by the interaction as Tetsurou feels. Bless his best friend’s childlike obliviousness; it makes him feel slightly more at ease with this peculiar situation. Tetsurou knows better than to continue on this bleak path of questioning that will only twist through an eternal maze of deadpanned answers of ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’. So he doesn’t.

“What’s going on…?” Koutarou questions, glancing between them, his face scrunched in confusion.

“Dunno bro. How’s English going?”

With a loud groan he bows his head on the table and complains about his school work, the odd interaction between his boyfriend and best friend completely forgotten.

“I am  _so_  screwed,” Koutarou whines. “Keijiiii, lend me some of your brains!”

Tetsurou chuckles. “Good thing you have a smart… Partner, to help you out Kou.”

“I do hope you’re talking about yourself Tetsurou,” Keiji says flatly. “You do realise I’m in the year below you, therefore am not studying what you are.”

“That’s true,” Koutarou affirms and then turns to his boyfriend. “You’re so smart Keiji!”

“That’s not intelligence Koutarou, that’s simple logic.”

“It’s the best compliment I can give you in public… It’s not like I can just say how beautiful you are.”

Queue angry you’re-going-to-get-us-caught-you-big-idiot glaring from Keiji and remorseful I’m-sorry-babe-I-can’t-help-myself smile from Koutarou. It’s incredibly adorable.

Tetsurou’s attention is drawn away from the hopeless lovebirds when a figure approaches and leans against their table with a not-so-subtle suggestive smile curling her full lips that Tetsurou gladly returns.

“Hello Ana,” Tetsurou practically purrs.

“Hey Tetsu,” she says, tilting her head so that her long dark hair falls over her shoulder and pushing her chest out. “I was wondering if maybe I could call you later in the week, I’m having some trouble with some Biology work.”

“Sure thing, you still have my number from last time right? Feel free to give me a call any time.”

“Thanks Tetsu, you’re so generous,” she straightens and a victorious, pearly white smile spreads across her soft attractive face. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes you will…” Tetsurou murmurs, eyes lingering on her narrow waist as she saunters away.

“That is the lamest thing I have ever heard,” Keiji comments.

Koutarou groans, shaking his head with exasperation. “Seriously, dude, can you not? Can’t you at least find a decent girl? Ana’s… She’s the worst! Like a freaking wet blanket, talking to her is like talking to a brick wall.”

“I don’t have to talk to her,” he says, smirking at his disgusted friends.

“You are foul Tetsurou.”

He shrugs because there’s not much point denying it. Tetsurou’s never been in a relationship and doesn’t want to be in one. He doesn’t need distractions from the most important thing in his life, his committed relationship with basketball. With so many willing participants what’s the harm in getting his satisfaction in pleasant little occurrences of casual hook ups? ‘It’s not good for you Kuro. You’re better than this and you deserve more,’ Kenma had once said with concern in his voice that Tetsurou didn’t understand.

“I wish you would dispel some of these ridiculous rumours that circulate about you,” Keiji continues, the hint of concern obvious in the tone of his voice. “None of it is even true.”

“That you know,” Tetsurou winks, playing it off. His friends have enough of their own problems to deal with without worrying about his too. Not that it’s a problem because he certainly doesn’t care what people say about him.

Keiji scoffs but Koutarou speaks. “Bro, you can’t fool us.”

“You mean I can’t fool  _Keiji_?”

His best friend gasps, clutching at his chest like he’s been shot. “I am  _offended_!”

Moving the conversation away from whether or not his extracurricular activities are true or not, Tetsurou brings up basketball and Koutarou runs away with the subject enthusiastically, explaining a move his favourite player completed with rather loud sound effects. Tetsurou chuckles at his friends as Keiji scolds Koutarou.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the school day moves by slowly as Tetsurou practically watches the seconds tick by, which of course only makes it feel slower. Finally though –  _finally_  – he’s on his way over to the gym with an ecstatic grin on his face and practically floating with happiness. He ran off after the last bell and is fifteen minutes early, so he’s not surprised to have beat everyone to the change rooms.

Halfway through changing he hears a shuffle outside and when he looks towards the door he finds Tadashi standing there with a clipboard in hand. Tetsurou’s always like the quiet club manager, he does his job well and supports the team passionately; he’s also remarkably easy to get along with, even though he’s shy. His brown hair rivals Tetsurou’s for mess but lacks the sheer refusal to follow the laws of physics and the freckles that cover his face suit his innocent cheerful smile. Although, right now he looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“O-Oh, ah, s-sorry Tetsu.”

He raises a questioning eyebrow. “What are you sorry for?” Tadashi gestures to Tetsurou’s body, averting his warm brown eyes and he chuckles, shrugging his bare shoulders. “I play skins most summers Freckles, you see me shirtless often enough.”

“Yes b-but you’re getting changed, it’s rude.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tetsurou smiles at him but pulls on his t-shirt anyway, to make the other more comfortable. “Did ya make sure Tsukki’s coming for me Freckles?”

“Um, yes, he should be here soon.”

“Good man. You’re here early,” he remarks.

“Coach Ukai wanted me and Hitoka to get some paperwork together for him, but it’s not really a two person job, so I volunteered.”

“Oh? Still have a thing for Sparkles then?”

Tadashi’s eyes widen and his grip on the clipboard tightens. “N-No, of course n-not!”

Hitoka is a pretty little blonde junior and the other basketball club manager. The two of them work well together since they’re both adorable angels that are eager to help in any way possible. It’s been obvious that Tadashi has a crush on Hitoka and vice versa for a while; honestly Tetsurou has no idea how neither of them have noticed. If it goes on much longer he may have to smash their heads together or lock them in a closet until they’re making out.

Grinning broadly Tetsurou approaches him and pats him on the shoulder. “It’s alright Freckles, I’ve known for a while. Surprised you haven’t made a move yet though.”

“I can’t…” his face drops, dejected.

“Of course you can, just tell her how you feel.”

“You are in no position to give life advice Kuro. Especially not relationship advice.”

Tadashi almost jumps out of his skin – nearly head-butting Tetsurou in the process – as he whirls to see Kenma and Kei approaching. Kenma’s not even looking where he’s going, eyes glued to the screen of his PSP. Tetsurou’s learned over time that the way he manages not to walk into objects is by following the movements of people he’s walking with from the corner of his eye, meaning whoever he’s walking with becomes like a guide dog. Kenma has incredible peripheral vision, it’s the reason he’s such a good point guard.

After sticking his tongue out at his best friend Tetsurou’s gaze moves to the tall, stoic form of Kei Tsukishima and he studies him with an expert eye. Even under his neatly adorned school uniform Tetsurou can tell just how long his limbs are, perfectly proportioned to his body. The muscles in his forearms are defined – congruent with the power of his left-handed pass that Tetsurou almost dropped with surprise yesterday – but lean and neither is bigger than the other, making it difficult to discern whether Kei is left or right handed. Likely left handed, considering the pass. His fingers are long and, from what Tetsurou can determine, the strongest part of him. Perfect for ball handling. He’s still baffled by what to position to play him in though.

“Tsukki, you came!” Tetsurou enthuses, leaning against the door frame casually.

“I told you I would,” Kei responds flatly, fingers curling around the strap of his bag.

 _No wonder he gets along with Kenma,_  Tetsurou thinks with amusement.  _And probably Keiji._

“I’m glad, always good to get skilled new recruits.”

From behind black rimmed glasses his gold eyes narrow. “You don’t know that I’m skilled.”

“Passes like that aren’t something you come across every day,” Tetsurou asserts, fingers running through the mess of his black hair. “They come from hours and hours of practice. Unless all you ever did was practise passes at Karasuno I somehow doubt that you’re not skilled.”

Kei’s expression doesn’t even flinch as Tetsurou smiles at him triumphantly, he knows he’s right. After being best friends with Kenma since childhood, and more recently Keiji, one would think Tetsurou would know how to read those blank expressions by now. Alas anything going through Kei’s mind in that silent moment is hidden from him behind that icy exterior.

“Are you going to move out of the doorway or are we not having tryouts today?” Kei questions and the corner of his mouth curls cunningly.

Tetsurou’s eyes widen in astonishment at the smartass remark, before a broad grin spreads across his face.  _Okay so maybe not as much like Kenma and Keiji as I thought,_  he thinks, pleasantly surprised that the tall blond isn’t afraid to snark back at him.

Straightening he moves out of their way. “After you.”

Without lifting his gaze from the PSP Kenma successfully walks through the door, shortly followed by Kei, who doesn’t even spare the smirking Tetsurou a glance. Tadashi mumbles something about paperwork and scurries away – probably so he doesn’t have to discuss his crush anymore, which is smart because others will be showing up soon.

Leaving the others to get changed, Tetsurou opens up the doors to the main gym and walks out onto the freshly polished timber floor with a blissful smile, his black and red Nike’s squeaking softly. This is where he belongs, on a basketball court.

Nekodani’s basketball team earns the school a fair bit of money, so they supply the nationally ranked team with all the best equipment and facilities. They have two full sized courts, one for the first string and one for the second string. Nekodani have two coaches, one for each string. Keishin Ukai coach of the first string and Yasufumi Nekomata, who trained Keishin and has only stepped down to second string coach recently.

“Yo Tetsu,” a voice greets him.

Tetsurou turns to see a solidly built man with dyed blond hair pulled back with a headband, approaching, his mouth is wide in a yawn and he’s scratching the back of his head. Keishin is a seemingly lazy man, but when it comes to basketball he puts in the effort of a hundred men. He loves basketball and is willing to do just about anything for the team. His coaching style is very laid-back, it doesn’t suit those who need to be pushed to play at their best, but for those who are self-motivated he offers the best possible support and coaching you can get. He’s like that parent that’s more like a friend; which makes sense considering he’s only in his mid-twenties.

“Afternoon Keish.”

“Ugh, sorry I’m late-ish, had an impromptu staff meeting. Have you seen Dashi?”

Tetsurou nods. "Freckles said something about getting paperwork for you. Knowing him he won’t be long.”

Keishin nods before ambling over to unlock the equipment room. “True that, he’s a good kid.”

“We doing the same thing as last year?” Tetsurou asks, grabbing a ball and turning it between his hands. “Sufficient fitness testing then a practise match?”

“Mm, best way to weed out the ones who can’t keep up.”

Tetsurou chuckles. “Careful Keish, you’re starting to sound just like old man Nekomata.”

He groans as he rubs at his face. “Don’t say that, it’s insulting.”

Laughing harder, Tetsurou starts bouncing the ball, the satisfying thuds echoing around the large room, and he makes his way to one of the half court hoops that’s pulled down. Crouching his stance lower he starts dribbling faster, the muscles in his arm flexing as he pushes greater strength behind the ball. The sound gets louder as he shifts his weight back and forth between his legs, the muscles growing taut in preparation.

Pushing off his right leg Tetsurou storms towards the hoop and jumps. Without being warmed up he doesn’t exert the full extent of his power – good way to get injured – so he completes a simple layup. His fingers barely brush the hoop as the ball swishes through the net and gravity pulls him back down to the polished floor.

“Woah!” A loud voice calls, and if it wasn’t for the higher pitch he’d swear it was Koutarou. “That was  _awesome_!”

After landing steadily he turns to see Shouyou gaping at him in amazement with wide sunset orange eyes. The intensity of his expression corresponding with the utter awe in his voice.  _Well, the kid knows how to give a compliment._  He’s short, can’t be much more than 160cm, and his messy wavy hair is the same bright orange as his eyes, framing his small round face.

“Yo Shrimpy,” Tetsurou grins casually, playing it cool even though, if his theory is correct, this will be their new first string small forward. “Glad you could make it.”

His cheeks puff out in annoyance and he folds his arms across his chest. “My  _name_  is Shouyou.”

“Kuro doesn’t call anyone by their name,” Kenma’s voice is quiet but makes them both turn nonetheless.

Kenma’s expression, usually emotionless, is brighter, happier, as he stares with marginally wider yellow eyes at Shouyou. Tetsurou frowns initially, because in the sixteen years they’ve known each other, he has never seen his best friend make this expression, but when he sees the faint pink dusted across his cheekbones, Tetsurou abruptly understands what Kenma is feeling when looking at the animated little redhead. Attraction.

“Shrimpy, meet one of our skilled point guards, Kenma—”

“Kozume,” Shouyou finishes for Tetsurou, who is now frowning once again. “I watched you play so many times in junior school. You’re an  _amazing_  point guard, I can’t  _believe_  I might actually get a chance to play with you!”

Kenma’s silent for a few seconds, awestruck, and all Tetsurou can do is watch on with amusement, because the exchange is doing adorable things to his best-friend-slash-little-brother-he never-had’s face that he's never seen before. The blush, the slight curl of his mouth, the crinkle at the corners of his slightly widened eyes. Adorable.

“A-Ah, thank you…” Kenma says quietly.

Shouyou doesn’t miss a beat beaming gleefully in response, probably – definitely – oblivious to Kenma’s shy, heart-in-eyes-and-completely-smitten reaction. Which, to be fair, is probably easy to miss if you don’t know him. Kenma’s saved from responding, but not from embarrassment, as Lev enters the gym and lifts Kenma off the ground like a rag doll and spins him around, singsonging his name. Kenma looks  _mortified_.

“Lev, put him down,” Tetsurou growls because it’s his duty to save his best friend from Lev’s idiocy.

“Aww, but he’s so fun to play with,” Lev whines.

As he obediently does as he’s told, knowing better than to incur Tetsurou’s wrath, his bright green eyes light up when they land on Shouyou. Tetsurou snickers, internally wishing Shouyou good luck with the future torture about his stature. Shouyou’s eyes are also incredibly wide as he stares up at Lev, his mouth hanging open. Not an uncommon reaction to the 194cm tall half-Russian basketball player.

“So small!” Lev so unintelligently points out. “Do you really play basketball?”

Shouyou’s face becomes something rather terrifying for someone so small and bubbly, emotion fading from his features and he cocks his head. If Tetsurou weren’t as confident in his own ability to defend himself the kid’s expression might actually startle him. Like it does Lev, who tenses and waves his hands in front of himself in surrender.

“Ahh, no—Sorry, I didn’t mean… You’re not that short. I mean you’re still taller than Mori.”

Which is possibly the worst thing the dim-witted Lev could have said, considering the person who  _just_  entered the gym. Tetsurou watches with a grin as Morisuke practically roundhouse kicks Lev in the thigh. Lev let’s out a startled cry and drops to his knees, gripping the affected area.

“Ow, fuck! Mori, that hurt!”

Morisuke simply stands with his hands on his hips, glaring down at him.

“You probably deserved that one,” Tetsurou comments, the smirk never leaving his face. His eyes move over the gathering group of basketballers. “Right, let’s get started.”

 

* * *

 

Through their twenty minute warm up session the rest of the team arrives, as well as the freshman and transfers trying out for the team. The fitness testing they push everyone through – even current members – does, in fact, weed out the weaker players, the ones who can’t keep up. It sounds harsh but Nekodani has high standards and everyone present is aware of this. They don’t complain. At least not out loud.

The first round of testing is a simple still standing vertical leap, for which Bokuto holds the Nekodani record at 29 inches, above even NBA average. Unsurprisingly – to Tetsurou at least – Shouyou’s vertical is impressively set at 24 inches, only a couple of inches below Tetsurou’s. The second test is a three quarter court sprint, then an agility test and shuttle runs, all of which Shouyou excels in. Tetsurou’s starting to feel very pleased with himself for his speculation about Shouyou’s potential.

They take a drinks break after the shuttle test while Tetsurou, Koutarou and Keishin discuss the teams for the practise match. Balancing the teams in skill while testing those they want to know the skill level of; mostly Shouyou and Tsukishima – the latter of which was the second best new recruit in testing after the former.

“So the teams for the practise match will be as follows,” Keishin announces after everyone’s gathered. “Team one: Tetsurou centre, Keiji point guard, Morisuke small forward, Taketora power forward and Akinori shooting guard. Team two: Koutarou power forward, Kenma point guard, Lev shooting guard, Shouyou small forward and Kei centre.”

When they all set up on court – team two wearing red numbers to distinguish between the teams – Tetsurou faces off in the centre with an expressionless Kei Tsukishima. For someone who’s about to play against the Captain of the state champion basketball team he seems rather unfazed. For a reason he can’t quite understand – perhaps it’s merely because he’s about to play a game of basketball – Tetsurou’s rather excited about his match up. He wants to see what the cold, snarky blond can do with the athletic ability he possess.

Just as Keishin’s about to throw the ball up Tetsurou notices Kei’s eyes dart about the court, taking note of everyone’s position.

_Awareness, good._

Tetsurou beats Kei on vertical leap – not by much – and experience, he’s jumped for the tip-off too many times to count. Even with these advantages Kei manages to time his jump well and gets his fingers to the ball but Tetsurou’s a millisecond faster and stronger. He knocks it down but of course Koutarou knows him too well and manages to intercept the ball. Playing against Koutarou is always a pain.

The players of each team move across the court, Tetsurou’s to defend and Koutarou’s to attack. The Ace takes the ball halfway to the hoop and passes back to Kenma to set up their attack. Tetsurou marks Kei, keeping himself between Kei and the hoop, the rest of his team setting up a solid man to man defence. When Kei doesn’t work to push his way into the field goal area Tetsurou frowns with confusion and disappointment at his relaxed stance.

Realising he can lower his defence due to Kei’s lack of effort, Tetsurou glances at Kenma to see where the point guard is going to set up their attack. Koutarou’s calling for it as loudly as ever, running circles around Taketora, and is the obvious choice in Tetsurou’s opinion. So, to say that he’s surprised when Kenma’s perceptive yellow eyes flicker tellingly to Kei is a vast understatement.

 _Heh, you won’t get anywhere with that Ken,_  Tetsurou thinks, though his eyes move back to Kei instinctively. Protect the goal first, laugh at best friend’s idiocy later.

Kei receives Kenma’s fast pass with ease and dribbles the ball almost lazily. He’s two feet off the three point line and there is no way he’s ever going to get past Tetsurou.

“Shouldn’t you have at least gotten in the field goal zone?” Tetsurou questions smugly, hunched low and ready to step in front of him as soon as he even flinches to take off.

“Why would I do that?” Kei enquires, his voice unnervingly calm.

The mischievous smile that curls at the corner of Kei’s mouth as he crouches lower and then swiftly straightens will forever be burned into Tetsurou’s memory. Kei lifts the ball above his head as his body straightens into a flawless shooting form, the lean muscles in his arms flex and he pushes the ball up into the air before Tetsurou can even react.

Instead of turning to watch the arc of the ball – like everyone around him is doing – Tetsurou cannot take his eyes off Kei. He lands comfortably, arms slowly relaxing, and his brilliant gold eyes, shining behind his black rimmed glasses, move from the ball to Tetsurou. Everything about his form for the jump shot was utterly perfect, and he’s assured of it when he hears nothing but the net swish after the undoubtedly perfect arc of the perfect shot.

Silence fills the gym, all that can be heard is the ball bouncing in the aftermath. And all Tetsurou can do is stare at Kei Tsukishima, mesmerised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adorable [KuroTsuki art](http://im-on-fire-tsukki.tumblr.com/post/144348405975/even-more-messy-sketches-this-time-theyre-for) for this chapter by the lovely [im-on-fire-tsukki](http://im-on-fire-tsukki.tumblr.com/)!


	3. Potential

Tetsurou stares seemingly eternally at Kei Tsukishima, entranced, stupefied and in awe. Kei is watching him in turn, gold eyes bright with satisfaction and a small smug smile curling his lips.

Throughout the fitness testing Tetsurou had noticed the nervousness in Kei’s quiet demeanour; his fingers knitted awkwardly in front of him and tension in his pursed lips. When trying out for a nationally ranked basketball team a little anxiety is to be expected. Needless to say it made Tetsurou a little cocky going into this practise match. Clearly more than ‘a little’ because the shot wasn’t unstoppable, had he not been so caught off guard he could have defended it.

Tetsurou Kuroo. Caught off guard. _Un-fucking-believable._

“That. Was. _Awesome_!”

Of course Koutarou is the first to recover from the surprise with an abundance of excitement. He bounces over to Kei, likely to jump on him, smack him – far too hard – on the back and gush over his skills, and while it probably would wipe the smug smile off Kei's bespectacled face and replace it with aggravation, Tetsurou puts his arm out to stop Koutarou before he can get to him. Despite the surprised mutterings slowly rising in volume around them, Kei’s gold eyes never leave Tetsurou.

“Why didn’t you tell us you’re a shooting guard?” Tetsurou questions.

Kei shrugs, smirk in place. “You didn’t ask.”

_You little shit._

Snorting an incredulous laugh Tetsurou glances at Kenma and isn’t even surprised when he sees a small smile on his best friend’s face. Keishin is approaching, his eyebrows – a few shades darker than his hair – creased with annoyance.

“We need to change the teams around,” the Coach says.

Tetsurou shakes his head. “We can’t. I’m the only one who’ll be able to stop him if he continues to shoot like that.”

“He will,” Keiji says quietly, knowingly. Because of course he knows. Tetsurou’s friends have a lot to answer for. But not now.

“Akinori, you okay to sub out for Tatsuki?”

The dirty blond shooting guard nods. “Yeah, no worries.”

With the team changes – Tatsuki and Lev playing against each other as centre and Tetsurou and Kei as shooting guards – they continue the game. Being worn out after the strenuous fitness testing Kei’s remarkable display of ability has increased everyone’s enthusiasm, especially Koutarou. They’re all pushing harder, jumping higher and playing with more intensity. Playing to win.

Throughout the rest of the practise match – they only play half a game – Kei only shoots for another six three-pointers. In two instances Tetsurou successfully stops him, one he puts enough pressure on Kei to make him miss and three more that score. Twelve points in total Kei shoots; which, in a half game, against an experienced player, is nothing to scoff at.

Tetsurou focusses intently on Kei. Watching his every movement and contemplating more than just how to defend him. Tetsurou contemplates ways to improve and develop the blond shooting guard who now, undoubtedly, has a position in the first string.

Kei’s movements are graceful and measured, not a single step or bounce is unnecessary. There are some gaps in his strategy – merely a lack of experience – but Tetsurou can see how aware he is and how well he can analyse the gameplay. His calm and collected nature will be a welcome addition to Keiji’s in the team too. Especially if – _when_ – Koutarou goes through his down periods, a dependable scorer will lift the Ace’s spirit.

Kei isn’t the only impressive new talent brought to light through the game. Tetsurou’s self-assurance in his ability to sniff out skill grows as Shouyou shines, dancing around other players with superior agility and jumping across spaces he has no right to jump across. The kid’s well on his way to Koutarou’s level of explosive ability, what Shouyou lacks in strength he makes up for in agility.

When Keishin blows his whistle to end the game, a broad grins spreads across Tetsurou’s face. Familiar exertion aches through his muscles pleasantly but the high it gives him is overpowered by his excitement for the year to come, with the exceptional raw talent they have acquired, ready to mould Nekodani into a national winning team.

“Come get some water and we’ll do some warm down stretches,” Keishin calls to them.

The two managers, and a couple of the Nekodani team members who didn’t play, hand out bottles of water. Tetsurou doesn’t move from his position on court though, he simply watches Kei as he ambles over to the sideline, breathing heavily with exhaustion but not letting his discomfort show in his expression. Tadashi finds him quickly, smiling brightly at his best friend and offering a welcomed bottle of water. Kei tilts his head back and Tetsurou watches his Adam’s apple bob in his long pale neck as he drinks.

“Tetsu,” a gentle female voice breaks him from his distraction.

He glances down to see pretty, large brown eyes looking up at him. Hitoka is a beautiful girl with long blonde hair, often softly braided, alabaster skin with rosy cheeks and – most attractively, to Tetsurou at least – a passion for basketball. Tetsurou had certainly been attracted to her when they’d first met – despite her crippling shyness – but as soon as he discovered she was the manager of the basketball team he automatically identified her as off limits. Basketball is too important to him to ruin it with awkwardness with the team’s manager. In the two years they’ve known each other Tetsurou’s come to be friends with the small manager girl who has slowly become less terrified and intimidated by the giant basketball players.

“Surprised by Kei, Captain?” She questions, her gaze following his previous line of sight.

“Hard not to be,” Tetsurou remarks, gazing back over at Kei who’s now talking to Kenma; it’s rather remarkable for his best friend to warm up to someone so quickly. “He’s very… Talented. It makes you wonder, how much undiscovered talent is out there just waiting to be nurtured.”

Hitoka hums. “I have a friend at Karasuno, Kei’s old school, she’s actually the manager of their basketball team and from what I heard they weren’t too far from winning their regional title to take them to the state championship. She said they had an unlucky year with injuries to some of their best players. Their small forward, Yuu Nishinoya was the best in the state in junior school.”

It’s not surprising she knows all of this; both Hitoka and Tadashi are keen information collectors. For the coach and team they accumulate profiles on opponent teams and players. They’re a part of the team for more than just their bright smiles and encouraging words.

“I know of him. He was injured?”

The manager nods and he sees it from the corner of his eye. “Tadashi said Kei was rated as one of the best shooting guards in junior school as well. Apparently he had a difficult year last year though, some personal problems or something.”

“What personal problems?”

Her delicate blonde brow furrows as he turns swiftly to look at her again and she shrugs, her lips curling with amusement Tetsurou doesn’t quite understand. “I don’t know, it’s personal. Maybe you should ask Kei. Here,” Hitoka offers him a bottle of water that he accepts with a grateful grin.

“Thanks Sparkles.”

After a twenty minute cool down session Coach Keishin gathers the group.

“We will post the cut of the Nekodani Basketball Team on the notice board tomorrow morning and from their work on team positions to decide the first and second string teams,” the Coach explains and then looks to Tetsurou – who’s standing beside him – for the rest.

Tetsurou barely maintains a smile at Keishin’s inability to console. “Thank you all for coming and apologies to those who do not make the cut. As you all know we are a successful basketball team and we only accept the very best. Keep playing and better luck next year. To those who do make the team, we meet Monday, Wednesday and Thursday for practise at three o’clock sharp. So see you tomorrow!”

Of the thirty or so now dispersing high school boys many look dejected, already knowing they won’t get a place on the team, even a bench warmer. Before following them to the locker room Tetsurou stays back to look over the recruitment list Keishin has created with Tadashi and Hitoka’s help.

Unsurprisingly Shouyou and Kei’s names are at the top. It makes sense that Shouyou is first; his play style is more eye-catching, with impressive skill that’s easily discernible and an enthusiastic attitude that draws everyone’s attention effortlessly. Tetsurou, however, is far more discerning, more observant of subtlety in skill and therefore more interested in Kei’s talent.

All he sees when he looks at Kei is potential. Endless potential.

After a ten minute discussion to refine the list, Tetsurou expresses his approval, more than happy with the decisions they’ve made for the team, and makes his way into the locker room. Most of the students have left already, only his friends are loitering after showering. Koutarou and Shouyou are boisterously discussing basketball, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel around their waists.

Koutarou is shorter than Tetsurou by an unnoticeable - thanks to the Ace’s usually spiked hair - half an inch. Right now though, fresh out of the shower, his hair is floppy and damp. Koutarou is well-built, he can bench press more than anyone else in the team but, more importantly, his thighs are like tree trunks; there is a reason he can dunk like a professional.

“Tetsu! Guess who Shrimpy’s favourite player is!” Koutarou bounds over to him when he approaches his own locker to get his bag.

Tetsurou grins, the answer obvious considering his best friend’s excitement. “LeBron James.”

“That is _King_ James to you!”

“Yeah, yeah. Bro, can you at least put some damn pants on?”

“You don’t want to know how long he’s been like that,” Keiji murmurs, leaning against his locker, fully dressed and ready to go with his bag over his shoulder. The point guard is not so subtly ogling his towel clad boyfriend, with only the four of them left in the room it’s safe for him to do so.

“You’re right, I don’t. Shrimpy and Kou get dressed now! Keish’s gunna kick your asses if he has to stay back waiting for you idiots so he can lock up,” Tetsurou commands in his Captain voice.

Koutarou, petulant as a child, sticks his tongue out and pulls his towel off as a sign of protest. Ducking his head so he can no longer see his best friend’s junk, Tetsurou groans a long ‘dude’ while Koutarou marches back over to his locker and starts – _finally_ – putting clothes on. Shouyou, now red-faced but laughing, follows suit.

“You’re not going to shower?” Keiji asks as Tetsurou slings his bag over his shoulder.

“Nah, no time, I’ll do it when I get home. Do you guys need a lift?”

“Yeah bro, thanks!”

“Yes please, Tetsurou.”

“Shrimpy?”

Shouyou turns at the sound of his name, clearly not expecting the offer. “No thank you! I live just across the road from the school.”

Tetsurou nods and then glances about the room with a frown. “Where’s Ken?”

Usually his best friend waits for him in the locker room, since Tetsurou is his ride home and Kenma is definitely far too lazy a person to walk when being driven is offered. Realisation settles in before Keiji answers; Shouyou has been bouncing around the locker room in nothing but a towel for the last five minutes.

“He’s waiting out in the corridor.”

“‘Kay,” Tetsurou answers, attempting to lessen his smirk. “I’ll see you guys out by the car. Kou, hurry the fuck up. See ya tomorrow Shrimpy!”

The kid turns abruptly, t-shirt askew sticking to his damp skin, and salutes earnestly. “Bye Captain!”

With a lazy two finger salute and a wink Tetsurou backs out of the room. It’s good the redhead kid is getting along with the team already, especially Koutarou, who will likely become his mentor. Shouyou seems to have one of those likeable personalities and the ability to get along with anyone. The opposite of Kei’s. Though the tall blond seems to get along well with Keiji and Kenma.

Kenma is a small curled up form, legs raised to his chest and chin resting on his knees, sitting in the corridor with his sharp yellow eyes focused on his glowing phone screen. His PSP must have run out of battery. The strands of his long dyed blond hair fall forward, concealing most of his round face.

“What’re you waiting out here for?” Tetsurou questions with a smirk, already knowing the answer. The real answer, not the untrue one his best friend is about to give due to poorly masked embarrassment.

“It was noisy,” Kenma answers simply, his eyes remaining on the device as he rises to his feet.

“Sure it was.”

At the poignant tone in his voice Kenma glances up at him. “What?”

“Oh nothing, I just wouldn’t have thought that loud, redheaded basketball idiots would be your taste when you finally got your first crush.”

Kenma’s eyes double in size and if he thought being lifted by Lev, in front of Shouyou, was mortifying it was nothing compared to this. Tetsurou chuckles as Kenma turns on his heel and starts walking away, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Would have thought Tsukki was much more your type,” Tetsurou muses offhandedly, long legs keeping up with ease. “I actually thought you might like him with that smile yesterday. But, _wow_ , that was nothing compared to the love-struck look in your eyes when you saw the overly excited Shrimp. It was the same look you get when you’re about to play a new game.”

“I… I was not l-love-struck.”

“Oh? Really? I wish I’d had a camera. Your cheeks were all pink and your eyes were all wide. Practically had you heart eyes on.”

“No, I didn't.”

“You did.”

“I didn't.”

At Kenma’s slow pace, shoulders hunched and shuffling along lazily, Koutarou and Keiji have caught up with them by the time they reach the car. The sun is slowly setting, painting the sky in glorious shades of pink and orange and the bite of heat is fading into a mild, warm evening. It’s pleasant after the overheating of his body from training.

“You did,” Tetsurou mumbles as he gets into his car.

“Did  _not_ ,” Kenma says quickly.

“Did not what?” Koutarou questions, his winged brow furrowing as he jumps into the backseat beside his boyfriend.

“Ken was rather impressed by the Shrimp,” Tetsurou answers simply as he starts the car because he knows exactly how his basketball meat-head best friend will take it.

“Oh my _God_ , he was _awesome_! He’s so short but he can jump so high! His air time is amazing,” the Ace comments. “He _flies_ … Like me! He’s my bird son. Can we adopt him Keiji? Please!”

“Koutarou, he’s only two years younger than you, somehow I highly doubt it.”

Tetsurou doesn’t have to look in his rear-view mirror to know his friend is pouting. Instead he glances at Kenma and the corner of his mouth is curled ever so slightly with pride. _Sure Ken, you_ weren’t _blushing and you don’t like him, real convincing._

“What about you Tetsu? You think the Shrimp will make first string and play with us?”

“Yeah bro, unfortunately for Mori I think the kid is more explosive and influential. He needs some polish but he’s got a lot of potential.”

“ _Potential_? He’s something special. He’s even better than I was at that age!”

“I think Tetsurou’s attention was drawn elsewhere,” Keiji comments quietly.

“Oh yeah!” Tetsurou suddenly remembers and glances between Keiji and Kenma. “What the hell is with you knowing about Tsukki?”

“Kenma and I saw him play last year. We watched Karasuno lose their regional final,” Keiji explains and Kenma nods along. “They truly should have won. He’s an incredible shooting guard. His game sense is almost at your level Tetsurou.”

“And yours Keiji,” Koutarou adds. “You’re too modest babe.”

Keiji doesn’t respond to that, but Tetsurou sees the small warm smile on his face in the rear-view mirror as he looks at his Koutarou. Finally able to express their affection for each other in the privacy of the car. He can see them holding hands and wonders how they contain it – poorly in Koutarou’s case – all day long while spending so much time with each other.

“And you didn’t tell us he was an ‘incredible shooting guard’ when we set the teams why?” Tetsurou questions, regaining Keiji’s attention before they start making out in the backseat – though they probably deserve to.

Keiji shrugs. “Seeing is believing.”

Tetsurou sighs, tapping his fingers against the wheel. “I guess. His form is beautiful,” he mutters.

“What?”

“He’s a really good player. I kind of can’t believe we found someone so perfect to complete the team.”

“Just got lucky,” Koutarou offers. “It’s our year bro!”

It doesn’t take them long to get to Keiji’s house. When they get there Koutarou gets out with him and they spend at least two minutes making out against the car before Keiji makes his way into his house and Koutarou gets back into the car. As they were waving goodbye to each other Tetsurou couldn’t help but notice the longing in their eyes, the desperate desire to not be apart even though they’ll see each other tomorrow.

“It must be hard being with him,” Tetsurou comments when he pulls away from Keiji’s house.

“Hard? How can it be hard? He’s fucking perfect bro!”

He chuckles. “Not what I meant Kou. I mean, being with him most of the day but not being able to, you know, actually _be_ with him.”

“Oh,” Koutarou breathes. “Yeah, it’s…”

The sentence remains unfinished. Tetsurou glances at his friend in the rear-view mirror, the dejection in his best friend’s generally cheerful face makes something in his chest tense painfully.

“It’ll be okay bro.”

“I just… I worry that the school find out and someone will say something horrible to him and I won’t be there to protect him. I know he seems stoic and detached but that type of thing really gets to him. He’s so anxious about it.”

“You have friends,” Kenma speaks up for the first time in a while and Tetsurou notices understanding softening his expression. “We’ll protect both of you.”

Koutarou’s silent a moment before a broad grin spreads across his face and he pats Kenma, too hard, on the shoulder. “Thanks Ken!”

 

* * *

 

“What is this? You’re _actually_ leaving on time?” Akiteru asks, stopping Kei as he reaches the front door. “You mean I don’t have to drive you to school and risk being late for work? Eager to find out if you made the team?”

His brother is waggling his blond eyebrows with an all too ridiculous grin on his face, and Kei cannot contain the eye roll. If there is a more embarrassing person in existence – highly doubtful – he doesn’t want to meet them.

At Akiteru’s relentless questioning when he got home from work last night he managed to pull as much information out of his little brother as possible. A rather remarkable accomplishment when said little brother is as stubborn and vague as Kei. Still, Kei was very selective in the information he gave because in all likelihood – and much to Kei’s discomfort – his near psychic brother would pick up on some imperceptible inflection in his voice whenever he spoke Tetsurou’s name. To avoid such an occurrence Kei subtly referred to him as ‘the Captain’. Akiteru was too caught up in the excitement of what Kei had done to notice.

“Wow, Kei, it sounds like they were really impressed!” Akiteru had enthused, gold eyes wide and full of pride. “You must be really amazing, I can’t wait to watch you play.”

“I’m not that good,” Kei had mumbled in response. “You’re making too much fuss about it.”

His brother had huffed and shook his head. “You should be more proud of yourself. You _deserve_ to be more proud of yourself.”

That had shut up his muttered protests and twisted at his stomach. Kei has never been good with compliments or being proud of his achievements. There is always further to go, always another step forward that he has to push himself and work so hard to get to. There is _always_ going to be someone better, stronger, faster and more skilled. Those are the doubts that used to plague his mind and overwhelm his spirit. They don’t anymore, but the scars from those old wounds still exist, even if the pain is gone.

“Tadashi all but told me I’m already a part of the team,” Kei says flatly, stopped by the door.

Akiteru laughs cheerfully. “Can’t hide your excitement from me Kei!”

He levels the most unimpressed expression he can make at his brother but the stupid grin never leaves his face. Sheer unwavering determination: that is Akiteru Tsukishima.

“I’m going to be late.”

“Right, right, go on! Text me when you find out!” Akiteru says as he pushes Kei out the door.

Grunting a response Kei makes his way out the front gate and ambles unhurriedly along the footpath. It’s true that this is the first day Akiteru hasn’t had to force him out the door. If he’s being honest with himself – he can at least do that much, can’t he? – he’s rather excited about the first day of training.

The practise game they played yesterday had thoroughly absorbed him, to the point that he wished it had been a full length game. The Nekodani team are incredibly talented and he’s looking forward to playing with them. Especially the two minds sharper than his own in Keiji and Tetsurou.

While working with Kenma had been effortless, their sense for the game on the same level and their sense for each other oddly natural for two people who had met the day before, Kei found it hard not to be amazed by the exceptional passes and intangible yet faultless decisions Keiji made. Most people would focus their attention on Koutarou or even Shouyou because of their exciting, explosive ability, flashy and eye-grabbing, but Kei never stopped watching Keiji. He found himself defending less than he should have – allowing Tetsurou a few three pointers he could have stopped – because he was pondering some of the moves the skilled point guard made. Keiji was truly incredible to watch; the puppet master.

Then, of course, Tetsurou, who hadn’t even been playing in his preferred position, was impossible to shake. His perceptive gleaming bronze eyes seemingly seeing every twitch of movement Kei made. Tetsurou is faster and more agile, his instincts are sharper, honed from years of playing with and against the best. And strong, so strong that it took everything Kei had not to be knocked over any time Tetsurou would so much as bump him. His ability to lead his team while playing his position to full capacity… Tetsurou is nothing short of awe inspiring.

Kei sighs deeply as his mind swims with images of Tetsurou dancing around him, the memory of his sweaty scent and the feel of his muscled body pushing against him. Though he can successfully avoid thinking about those things, the one image that never leaves his mind, the one image that is carved into the back of his eyelids, is the unreserved wonder Tetsurou had stared at him with after that first jump-shot.

In an attempt to draw his attention away from Tetsurou Kuroo, Kei decides music is necessary for his walk. He’s about to pull his earphones up from around his neck when a car pulls over next to him.

“Oi, Tsukki!”

His eyes widen at the sound of the familiar deep voice but he carefully composes his features before stopping and turning to the car. Tetsurou’s messy black head is visible through the open window, grinning at him broadly.

“Get in!”

“I’m fine, school’s not that much further,” Kei responds, resting his headphones back on his neck because he knows his stubbornness will be disregarded.

“Dude, just get in the damn car.”

Huffing a sigh Kei reluctantly ambles over to the deep red Volkswagen Jetta and gets into the backseat, knowing without checking that the quiet Kenma is in the passenger seat. Luckily he gets in behind Kenma and has more legroom than he would have had behind Tetsurou’s pushed back seat.

“You can sit in front next time,” Tetsurou asserts nonchalantly as he pulls onto the road again. “Ken’s legs are a lot shorter than yours, it’ll be more comfortable for you.”

Kei swiftly finds his eyes drawn to Tetsurou’s large sport calloused hands gripping the steering wheel. Unlike his own the palms are wider and thicker with muscle, making them far more in proportion than Kei’s spidery hands. His knuckles and veins dance under his sun-kissed skin as he taps a beat Kei can’t quite discern against the wheel.

“Next time?”

He can see a characteristic casual grin curling Tetsurou’s mouth. “You live really close, I may as well pick you up and drive you instead of meeting you along the way and luring you into my car like some kind of paedophile. Only on days we have practise though.”

“Aren’t you supposed to keep his acceptance to the basketball team a secret?” Kenma questions flatly, his fingers move deftly over the keys of his PSP, transporting the sword wielding Link across the screen in search of monsters to kill.

“Oh shit, I was too,” Tetsurou says sheepishly and glances back at Kei. “My bad Tsukki. Surprise! Although I guess it won’t surprise you, you probably already know how talented you are.”

Kei grits his teeth and glances out his window. “I’m not that great. There is a lot of work I need to do, a lot I need to improve. I assume I mostly made the cut because the team has a lack of shooting guards.”

Tetsurou snorts a laugh. “I like the pragmatism. You’re not entirely wrong about the lack of shooting guards. I mean I could probably whip Lev into a decent one by the first game, but he’ll never compare to your natural shooting ability and intelligent game sense. He’s more suited as a centre. In saying that though, you do have a lot to work on, but with my help I’ll make you the best damn shooting guard in the state.”

By the time Tetsurou is finished talking Kei knows his face is red, he can feel the heat in his cheeks. In his peripheral – because like hell is he moving his burning face from staring out this window – he sees Tetsurou beam a grin back at him.

“You’re embarrassing,” Kenma mumbles, like an angel sent to protect him from the ridiculously attractive boy singing his praises.

Tetsurou gasps dramatically as they pull into the school parking lot. “What? I am not embarrassing!”

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

As subtle as he possibly can, Kei scrambles out of the car once Tetsurou has parked it, throwing his bags over his shoulder. He doesn’t get far before he’s ambushed by what can only be described as a giant screeching owl.

“Tsukkiiiiii!” Koutarou yells, practically tackling him. “You made the team!”

“Koutarou,” Keiji scolds. “Stop hitting him.”

“I’m not, I’m patting him on the back in congratulations!”

Kei’s entire body rocks with the bruising smacks Koutarou is ‘patting’ against his shoulder blade. Fortunately a second angel in the form of Keiji saves him, pulling at Koutarou’s ear sharply and offering an apologetic expression to Kei. The Ace lets out a yelp of indignation.

“Keiji! It hurts,” Koutarou cries, rubbing at his ear when Keiji lets him go, a discreet warning in his dark green eyes. “Wait, why are you with Tetsu and Ken?”

“I picked up a straggler,” Tetsurou announces heroically, slinging an arm cavalierly over Kei’s shoulders. “He was wandering aimlessly by the side of the road, without a hope in the world, and then I came along, a God sent saviour, and saved the poor blond damsel in distress!”

He’s grinning at Kei triumphantly, far too pleased with his own dramatics. _And far too close to my… Everything,_ Kei thinks, panicking internally. _I think I may have actually found someone more embarrassing than my brother._ Somehow he manages to offer Tetsurou a scowl before shrugging out from under his arm and walking towards school with Kenma and Keiji.

“They’re always like that,” Kenma says. “Kuro’s a dork.”

“You get used to it,” Keiji adds.

Kei snorts a laugh as a response, words unavailable because he’s not sure he _will_ ‘get used to it’ and he’s not sure that he doesn’t _like_ Tetsurou’s dorkiness.

 

* * *

 

Forcing leisurely movements Kei pushes books around his locker, moving them back and forth without much purpose other than to delay heading to the gym. No one – bar his overly perceptive brother – needs to know how excited he is for basketball practise. Not even when Tadashi approaches to hurry him does he stop his fake attempts to contemplate the books he needs for homework.

“Tsukki, what’s taking you so long?” Tadashi whines, uncharacteristically impatient. “You’re not usually this slow.”

“This is my third day here, you do not have enough information to provide a solid enough baseline for that assumption,” Kei deadpans and then turns to look at his best friend who is practically bouncing on his feet. “Why are you so eager?”

“I promised I’d help Hitoka with some new banner designs for the team. The old ones are a bit out dated and she thought new ones would give the team some extra inspiration,” he says proudly, a giddy grin spread across his freckled face.

Kei raises an eyebrow at his friend. “Is this the blonde you have a crush on?”

“ _Tsukki!_ ” Tadashi hisses, glancing about. “Not so loud.”

Turning back to his locker he finally retrieves the book he actually needs and closes it. Slinging his heavy school bag over his shoulder, he lifts his sports duffle and hooks it over his other shoulder. Slowly, much to his friend’s displeasure, he strolls down the corridor.

“Tetsurou’s right, you should just tell her how you feel.”

Tadashi huffs, gripping the straps of his backpack tightly. “It’s not that easy... Is there anyone you like?”

 _Maybe._ “No.”

“Have you ever liked anyone?”

 _Maybe._ “No.”

His best friend scoffs and glances up at him. “I doubt that. I… It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

“What do you like about…? Hitoka, right?” Kei questions quietly, there aren’t many students around anymore but he doesn’t want to panic his nervous friend.

“Yeah. I-I, well, she’s really smart but not like ‘I memorised all these facts and aced a test’ smart, like outside the box smart. Creative. And so kind, so incredibly kind… Tetsu calls her Sparkles and no truer word exists to describe her,” Tadashi sigh wistfully and has a dreamy distant look in his dark brown eyes. “She’s so beautiful… Don’t you think she’s pretty, Tsukki?”

He tilts his head recalling the short blonde girl from training. “I suppose she’s rather aesthetically pleasing.”

“Are you kidding? She’s beautiful!” Tadashi asserts, but understanding hits him as he gazes up at his taller friend. “Oh, right, not your… um, type?”

A smile tugs at the corners of Kei’s mouth at his unnecessary courtesy. “One might say she’s a little too female for me.”

Tadashi glances up at him, eyes wide with worry at his dry response until he sees Kei’s smile and then chuckles. Kei wants to give his friend advice about Hitoka, tell him that she probably likes him too and that everything will be okay, but encouragement isn’t exactly his forte. It’s also far too easy to say those things, to tell someone to just go for it and put their feelings on the line, when it’s not you in the situation. He knows that when Tadashi is ready he will tell her. His best friend is much stronger than he knows.

“So… Anyone at school catch your eye?” Tadashi asks, failing in his attempt to be subtle as he nudges Kei with his elbow.

Kei groans. “Not you to. I have Akiteru at home and now you at school to pester me about boys. Is nowhere safe?”

“How about on the team?” His best friend continues, ignoring his complaint as his eyebrows wiggle and his eyes sparkle with delight at the thought, as if it would be a good thing. “Koutarou is with Keiji, so you’re out of luck there.”

“ _What?_ ”

Kei’s question is jarringly loud after Tadashi was speaking quietly, under his breath, as to not disclose secrets past the person he trusts in his best friend. Outside of tryouts Kei has only seen the couple together once, this morning, but they didn’t seem to be very… Couple like. There is a gay couple on the Karasuno team, so Kei isn’t exactly unaccustomed to being around gay couples, but he never suspected it of anyone on the Nekodani team. Then again he’s never had a good sense for people.

Tadashi snickers and nods. “But don’t tell anyone, Keiji’s really worried about the school finding out.”

“Why do you know?”

“I had a lot of classes with Keiji, Kenma and Morisuke last year, we’re fairly close. I was also there when they got together over summer. They may seem an odd couple but they’re really good together. As for the rest of the team…” Tadashi trails off, finger tapping at his lip in thought. “Kenma is also gay, or he thought so last year, I’m not sure if he knows for sure yet. Only one way to find out,” his best friend actually winks at him.

Kei huffs. “I like Kenma, he’s easy to get along with but I don’t… See him like that. Just because he’s gay and I’m gay does _not_ mean we should automatically be together.”

“I know that, I’m just giving you options.”

“I don’t want options. Stop trying to set me up, I’ve been here three days.”

“I’m not completely sure about any of the other’s sexualities, not exactly someone we ask for on the team application,” Tadashi ignores his protests once more. “Tetsu’s very much straight though. Kind of notorious for his… Uh, _extracurricular_ activities, with some of the girls here. We’re not sure why he does it and I’m not convinced he even does half the things the school gossips about, but Tetsu never denies the rumours. You’ve spent time with him, it just doesn’t seem like him.”

For some reason this information makes Kei absurdly uncomfortable. Scratch that, he knows the reason, he understands the unpleasant twist in his stomach and the nerve his jaw twitching as he clenches it tight. He’s not daft, he knows jealously when he feels it. Doesn’t make his reaction any less ridiculous.

Aside from that idiotic feeling Kei chooses to ignore, he’s rather surprised that Tetsurou is that kind of person. Like Tadashi said, it doesn’t seem like him. The messy haired Captain is flirtatious and mischievous but there never seems to be much intention behind it. From the interactions he’s had with him, Tetsurou simply seems like an overly friendly and playful person, his kindness a natural reaction and his keen passion for basketball unquestionable.

“How about you focus on _your_ love life and I focus on my preferred lack of one?” Kei manages to keep his voice steady.

“But focussing on yours is so much _easier_ ,” Tadashi laments, running a hand down his freckled face with frustration.

Kei can’t argue that, luckily he doesn’t have to. By the time they reach the gym most of the team is already dressed and flooding out of the locker room. Tadashi leaves Kei to go find Hitoka.

Entering the locker room Kei is swiftly - and thankfully, internally - falling apart as his eyes betray him and move immediately to Tetsurou’s naked torso. Specifically, his stomach. Specifically, six impeccably well-defined abdominal muscles flexing under beautiful tan skin. Tetsurou’s not bulkily muscled like Koutarou – who Kei had the displeasure of seeing naked yesterday after practise, for far too long a time period – but lean, defined muscle with broad shoulders that shape his torso into a perfect triangle shape. Perfect is the most accurate word to describe Tetsurou’s finely sculpted body.

There are five other males in the locker room in various stages of undress. So why the hell is all Kei’s focus drawn to Tetsurou Kuroo?

“Tsukki!” Koutarou yells, drawing attention to him.

Tearing his gaze from Tetsurou’s body Kei makes his way over to his locker and opens it – possibly a little too hard – hiding his face from them.

He’s uncertain at what point Koutarou decided to call him by that nickname – likely Tetsurou’s influence – or when he drew the Ace’s attention – likely when he shot that first three-pointer – but after very little interaction between the two of them, Koutarou already acts as if they’re close friends. Considering how friendly Tetsurou is with him, that is also likely his influence.

“Geez Tsukki, cutting it close,” Tetsurou chides, but he can hear the smirk in his voice.

Kei doesn’t respond, his throat feels tight as the image of Tetsurou’s bare chest bombards his mind, sending unwanted heat through his body. Ignoring the remark he puts his school bag away and rifles – again unhurriedly – through his duffle for his black basketball shorts, navy blue t-shirt and his green and white Adidas. Luckily Tetsurou and Koutarou finish getting changed just as Kei starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t take too long,” he barely hears Tetsurou singsong over Koutarou’s hooting as they leave.

When he’s finally alone in the room Kei rests his forehead against the cool metal of the locker and scrunches his eyes closed. _Why is this happening_ now _? Why does it have to be_ him _?_ He questions himself, or God, or the universe, or the chemicals in his body that determine attraction; at this point he’s uncertain what to blame for this problem. Probably all of the above.

 _Please don’t do this,_ Kei begs himself. _Please._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki being close friends with Kenma and Akaashi is just like… my version of heaven.


	4. Distraction

On the tail of a lacklustre morning of classes, Kei enters the Nekodani cafeteria that's buzzing with life in stark contrast. Halfway through the Friday of his second week he no longer needs guidance from his freckle faced friend or the dyed blond gamer boy. After only a couple of rather embarrassing tardy appearances in classes, Kei is finally familiar with the layout of the large school. Which alleviates some stress from his life.

Only on his way over to a familiar bright beacon of orange hair, with a tray of food, does Kei notice that the tittering and chattering around him is more energetic than usual. He’s become an expert at tuning out teenage gossip, even without his headphones – which he’s been forced to remove throughout the school day – so he keeps his eyes on his target and successfully ignores them.

When he arrives at what has become their regular table, Tadashi waves at Kei with a gleeful smile but doesn’t speak as to politely not interrupt the animated conversation Shouyou is having with Hitoka – or at her. Kei sits quietly next to the equally quiet Kenma, who is tapping away at his PSP but more half-heartedly than usual, he seems distracted. Lev, the other member of their lunch group, is listening to the Shouyou with rapt fascination. It makes Kei want to roll his eyes.

Kei’s not overly fond of Shouyou. He doesn’t know him but he doesn’t particularly _want_ to know him either. He’s loud and excitable; two traits Kei isn’t fond of. However, the redhead is his teammate and they will likely end up playing important games together, and Tadashi likes him, so Kei tolerates him.

Hitoka on the other hand Kei finds incredibly easy to be friendly with, even if she flinches at his presence sometimes. She seems to have one of those personalities that perfectly adapts to the social needs of whoever she’s talking to. Whether or not she knows she’s doing it is yet to be determined but either way – cunning social genius or accidental angel – he enjoys Hitoka’s company.

Between leisurely bites of his sandwich, Kei observes Tadashi’s expression as he watches the exchange between Shouyou and Hitoka. His best friend is smiling but there is an almost imperceptible awkward strain at the corner of his mouth. A hint of insecurity. Uncertainty. An unanswered question lingering: _Is she interested in Shouyou?_ Kei doesn’t blame him, Shouyou and Hitoka get along effortlessly after only two weeks. It’s also relatively difficult to discern if either of them are interested because of Hitoka’s people pleasing and Shouyou’s limitless enthusiasm.

His gold eyes are drawn to Kenma next to him who has his legs curled up against his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible. A desire Kei knows all too well. Luckily for Kenma he doesn’t have absurdly long legs and can succeed.

“What did you eat for lunch today?” Kei asks softly.

…Certainly not because Tetsurou asked him to.

“Sandwich,” Kenma mumbles, glimmering amber eyes flickering to Kei momentarily before moving back to the console in his hands. “I know he seems all commanding and Captain-like but you don’t have to do what Kuro tells you to, even if he begs like the drama queen he is.”

He snorts a laugh. “Outside of basketball I wouldn’t do anything that idiot told me to even if he paid me.”

 _It’s a lie, but I’m good at those,_ Kei thinks even though his faith in his ability wavers briefly as Kenma glances at him again. He doesn’t say anything though, his attention drawn away as Shouyou says his name.

“Kenma! What’s the training camp like?”

Kei recognises a radiance in the grin spread across Shouyou’s round face as he turns to the surprised Kenma. It’s a different light to when he was talking to Hitoka, brighter somehow.

“Um… It was okay, I suppose.”

“Only _okay_?” Shouyou questions, his head tilting dubiously, like a bird. “It’s gotta be better than okay! With Kou and Tetsu and just playing and training for basketball _all_ week! That’s like… Heaven. I’ll be there this time, we’ll have fun Kenma!”

The redhead is beaming, brighter than the sun. Kei is about to click his tongue with annoyance at the over enthusiastic display but stops himself when he notices the pink rising in Kenma’s cheeks. He’s unsure how it happened – likely a combination of the instant silent understanding between the two of them and everyone’s protectiveness of Kenma rubbing off on Kei – but he has actually come to care for Kenma. Which, considering Kei can count on one hand the number of people he truly cares for in his life, is a big deal.

After a few seconds Kenma manages a small smile. “I’d like that.”

“It’s two months away,” Kei drawls as Kenma is starting to look uncomfortable in the following silence and nervous under the intense gaze of a happy Shouyou.

“C’mon Stingyshima, even you have to admit you’re excited!”

He is, but not for reasons he’d ever share with… Anyone.

After the first quarter, during their week of fall break, Nekodani basketball team goes on a training camp. For the entire week they stay at a lodge and practice every day for the entire day. It sounds exhausting. But they train with some of the state’s best teams, meaning multiple practise matches and opportunities to develop.

“The basketball will be okay. But spending every day with you overly enthusiastic idiots will be tiresome.”

Shouyou sticks his tongue out but any unintelligent come back is interrupted by a chorus of laughter that draws their attention to a table nearby. One of its occupants saunters over, snickering so joyfully that he’s stumbling like a drunkard.

“Hey, Tadashi!” The boy Kei immediately dislikes calls, standing at the end of their table and slapping a hand down on Tadashi’s shoulder. “Did ya hear? You musta! I mean you must already know, right?”

Tadashi smiles awkwardly. “Know what?”

“You’re the basketball team’s manager! Of course y’know,” he chuckles obnoxiously into the back of his hand, almost unable to control himself. It's pathetic. “They’re a bunch of homos.”

And suddenly Kei is all too aware of the tittering and chattering he had tuned out earlier.

Everyone at the table stiffens. Shouyou, who had been almost bouncing with eagerness to hear what was so funny, is suddenly very still and uncharacteristically silent. Kenma’s eyes nervously flicker back to the console in his hands as he curls tighter into his shell. Tadashi’s eyes widen marginally before he manages to conceal his shock. Even Lev is suddenly interested in the food on his plate.

Everyone except for Kei stiffens, that is. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, he has a well-trained poker face from years of not giving a single shit. And secondly, these offensive words no longer have any effect on him. He’s heard them too often from people who actually matter to be effected by some teenage idiot’s juvenile ignorance. They’re just words to him but that doesn’t mean he finds them acceptable. Especially when they make his friends uncomfortable.

“Ye-Yeah, apparently--” the boy explains through his laughter. “Apparently one of the seniors c-caught two of ‘em making out in one of the bathroom stalls. D-Dunno who it was but fuckin’ _gross_! Gotta find out what bathroom and never go there again. Fuckin _faggots_.”

Tadashi laughs along uncomfortably. Kei can see an angered twitch at his jaw but knows his best friend will never act on it.

Aside from his concern for Keiji and Koutarou – who he currently cannot do anything for – Kei doesn’t really care, he mostly just wants the idiot to leave. It’s not until he sees Kenma visibly flinch next to him at ‘faggot’ that a spark ignites a burning fire inside him. The idiotic boy scurries off to tell some more people before Kei has a chance to say anything though.

Their table is left in an awkward silence, the sounds of their peer’s laughter ringing too loudly in their ears, the sound jarring.

“Shouyou, are you excited about the upcoming practise game?” Hitoka asks, Kei can hear the strain in her cheery voice but they’re all grateful for the distraction as the redhead launches into an energetic spiel.

Meeting Tadashi’s worried gaze across the table, Kei recognises the sympathy in his dark brown eyes. If the students are acting this way now, before most of them know who it actually is – Nekodani’s treasured Ace and point guard – he can only imagine the shit-storm to come. It’s Friday so hopefully they will get over it by Monday.

 _Unlikely,_ Kei thinks sceptically.

 

* * *

 

Saturday morning sunshine beams unobstructed through Kei’s window because he forgot to close the curtains last night. Twice now he’s turned over in an unsuccessful attempts to escape the powerful rays of light. The window is too far from his bed to close the curtains without getting out of bed and getting out of bed means not being able to go back to sleep, but he can’t go back to sleep with the light anyway.

…It’s a no win situation.

With a sleepy groan Kei throws the covers off himself and sits upright, rubbing his hands into his face. Hobbling on long legs Kei drags himself into the bathroom, undresses and forces himself under the stream of warm water. Although they didn’t have training yesterday evening his muscles are still slightly stiff from a long week of intense practise drills. The shower helps, the heat soothing through his aching body.

Once out of the shower and dry Kei stands in front of the mirror and cards his slender fingers through his golden blond hair. It’s getting long, the locks curling over most of his forehead and down behind his ears now. He can’t really be bothered getting it cut yet. He’ll do it when it starts falling into his eyes and being a nuisance for basketball.

It’s the last day of summer and quite a warm one at that, so Kei dresses in grey sweat shorts and a black t-shirt before going to seek food. Akiteru’s sitting on a bar stool at the counter when he enters the kitchen. The small kitchen table is flooded with Kei’s homework that he accidentally stayed up too late doing.

“Hey, you’re up early,” Akiteru comments before raising a mug of coffee to his mouth.

“It’s… nine thirty,” Kei responds, glancing at the clock.

“Over summer break you rarely got up before eleven.”

He shrugs. “I forgot to close my curtains and the sun is bright.”

“Yup, we kinda need it to be bright otherwise we all die,” Akiteru chuckles. “I left a plate of pancakes for you in the oven to keep warm and there are strawberries in the fridge. What are you up to today? Hanging out with Tadashi?”

Retrieving the plate from inside the oven, the punnet of strawberries from the fridge and the maple syrup from the cupboard, Kei stands at the counter, across from Akiteru, and prepares his breakfast. Or, well, the rest of it as his brother has done most of the work with cooking the pancakes.

Kei shakes his head as he cuts the strawberries into halves. “Tadashi has his cousin’s birthday this afternoon so he can’t. I was just going to finish my homework and read or watch some television.”

“I’d offer to hang out with you but I have some work to do.”

He shrugs, pouring syrup over the strawberry covered pancakes. “I’m fine being by myself.”

“That’s what worries me,” Akiteru mumbles into his mug.

“What?”

His brother sighs. “I want you to have more than one friend. You know I love Tadashi but he has other friends and that girl he likes. What if he finally gets the courage to ask her out and starts hanging out with her more. Then who will you spend time with? Is there anyone on the team that you like? Not necessarily in _that_ way but as a friend? What about the guy that drives you?”

“Yeah, he’s—. There are a couple of all right guys, but it’s only been two weeks. I had friends back at Karasuno, I’m not incapable of making friends.”

“No, I know you did, but that was before… I’m just worried that you’re finding it hard to trust and get close to people because of--”

“I know _why_!” Kei snaps, sounding more annoyed than he means to. He takes a deep breath and looks up at his brother. “I’m fine Aki, I swear. It’s only been two weeks.”

Eyes the same sharp gold colour as his own regard him, searching for any sign of deception. Finding none, seemingly satisfied with his answer, his brother nods slowly and downs the remnants of his coffee.

“Besides,” Kei says, swallowing a mouthful of syrup soaked pancake and strawberry. “At this rate Tadashi is never going to ask Hitoka out.”

Akiteru chuckles. “Maybe you need to give him some help. A gentle push in the right direction.”

“Her birthday is next week, I’m planning on a very forceful shove.”

Levelling a ‘be careful’ look at him Akiteru clears his plate and mug and heads into his study – which is now in his bedroom after Kei took the actual study room as his bedroom. Munching down his breakfast Kei calculates how much homework he has left to do and realises, to his chagrin, that after his late night it’s probably about less than an hour of work.

 _What am I going to do with the rest of my damn day?_ He ponders in annoyance.

Being bored leads to contemplation. Which, in his case, is over-contemplation. About basketball and his studies… _and Tetsurou’s fucking abs._

Shoving his empty plate into the dishwasher, with probably too much force, Kei pulls his earphones onto his head and focusses on his remaining homework. The heavy, bouncing beat, angst screamed, sung and rapped lyrics that he knows every single word of and tearing guitar riffs of his favourite band are distracting enough to overshadow the thoughts of Tetsurou, but not enough to render him unable to complete his homework.

Kei’s almost finished when he feels his phone vibrates in his pocket. Retrieving the device he actually isn’t surprised to find a message from Kenma.

Kenma has been struggling with History, and when Kei said something about finding the subject easy, he asked for his phone number to ask for help with the homework when he needs it. Or rather Morisuke – grinning like a parent proud that his child has made a new friend – asked for it on Kenma's behalf. Through the week Kenma has meekly asked Kei a question or two on their homework.

 **[10:33] Kenma  
** _Hi Kei, I was wondering if you could help me with the essay questions. I don’t really understand the topic. Sorry if you’re busy. No rush._

Almost an exact replica of every other message. Far too formal with a humble greeting, a cautious ask for help, and a desire not to impede of Kei’s clearly _hectic_ social life. Kei reads the message a couple of times and deliberates the homework he already completed for the subject. It’s a rather complex topic and he’s not certain he can explain adequately over message.

 **[10:35] Me  
** _I’m not doing anything today. Could I call to explain the homework? It’s rather complicated._

 **[10:36] Kenma  
** _Did you want to come over?_

Kei frowns at his phone. For such a reserved person it’s a rather extroverted suggestion, but then the message had taken him almost a whole minute to send. Or perhaps Kenma feels a similar sense of ease in Kei’s presence as Kei does in his.

 **[10:36] Me**  
_Sure, you just live around the corner on Miyagi street right?_

 **[10:36] Kenma**  
_Yes, 510 Miyagi street._

Packing away his books in his school backpack ready for Monday, Kei pulls on his sneakers before making his way to Akiteru’s room. His brother is sitting ramrod straight in his desk chair, reading a densely worded and tedious looking document that’s open on his desktop computer.

His brother is seven years older than him, therefore Kei was in elementary school for most of his high schooling years. They had never studied together, Akiteru often helped him with his homework in middle school though. In the few months he’s been living with his brother, Kei has learnt that Akiteru is an exceptionally hard worker and he cares about his job immensely, even if it frustrates him sometimes.

“Hey, I’m going over to a friend’s place to help him with some homework,” Kei announces, ready to leave when his brother swivels in his chair and raises an inquisitive blond eyebrow at him.

“Who is this mythical ‘friend’ I’m only just hearing about.”

Kei rolls his eyes. “Kenma, he’s in a couple of my classes and on the basketball team. He’s one of the ones that I drive with to school.”

Akiteru smirks. “Is he cute?”

Making an annoyed noise in the back of his throat Kei turns on his heel and strides down the hallway.

“Do you need me to drive you?”

“No!” Kei calls from the front door before slamming it closed.

With their three classes together, lunch period, basketball training and their time spent walking or driving to and from school together, Kei has been spending more time with Kenma over the last two weeks than anyone else. Which, as someone he barely knows, is more of a relief than it should be. He feels a strong sense of ease around Kenma, like he doesn’t have to worry about being judged and doesn’t have to filter his thoughts as much. The only other person he feels so relaxed with is Tadashi – he even has to keep his guard up around his brother sometimes – and maybe even Keiji, though he’s spent far less time with the latter.

It only takes Kei a couple of minutes to walk around to Kenma’s house. He sees the _510_ on the gate but his gaze strays to the houses either side of it, wondering which is Tetsurou’s. Bristling internally at himself he’s glad that Tetsurou’s car isn’t outside either so he can’t know for sure.

Pushing thoughts of Tetsurou from his mind, Kei knocks on Kenma’s door and waits patiently while he hears shuffling inside. The door cracks open slowly and two yellow eyes glow from the darkness within, sending a shiver down his spine before the door opens far enough for the sun to light Kenma’s boyish face.

“Hi,” he says softly. “Come in.”

Nodding a little stiffly Kei enters the darkness of Kenma’s house, he flicks the light on as he closes the front door, blocking out any natural light.

“Sorry about the mess,” Kenma mumbles as he leads Kei further in. “I usually clean the house on Sundays.”

Kei’s eyes float over the living room and kitchen they walk past, it’s really nothing more than untidy, certainly not ‘messy’. The house is small, like Akiteru’s, designed for only a couple of people. Kei knows Kenma is an only child, simply by the way he and Tetsurou act like siblings that have gravitated towards each other due to loneliness. He wonders about Kenma’s parents, but through personal experience knows that asking is always more complicated than simply blurting out a question.

“My house is much the same,” Kei says indifferently and notices Kenma’s shoulders relaxing.

They enter Kenma's bedroom and it’s a little messier than the rest of the house, it looks more lived in too. Game cases for various consoles are stacked on the floor in the corner and on his computer desk, but the stacks are perfectly straight and in alphabetical order. The wardrobe is open and the clothes seem a little askew, but they’re hung separated into school uniform and coloured coded casual clothes. The bed is covered in school books and homework. Despite being a neat person, Kei doesn’t find the orderly mess uncomfortable.

Kenma crawls onto his double bed and into the centre of the sprawled book circle. Kei glances about the room, standing awkwardly by the closed door and waiting to be told what to do while he watches Kenma rearrange his books.

Objectively speaking he’s aware that Kenma is attractive – probably even more so when the last couple of inches if blond grow out – but Kei isn’t attracted to him. Kenma has a round face, slender body, fair skin and a small, button nose. Basically, the complete opposite of anyone Kei has found himself attracted to the past and – begrudgingly, vaguely – the present.

Seeming to have arranged his books in a satisfying order, Kenma looks up at Kei with inquisitive eyes, his toes wiggling in front of him.

“So… The first question is: How did small pox influence the colonisation of the Americas?” Kenma starts uncertainly, eyes moving over the sheet in front of him to the textbook. “Did you—Have you done this one?”

“I did it all last,” Kei answers simply.

His body starts to relax as his mind retraces the answers he gave to the questions and how he can explain them. Anxiety overwhelmed by thoughts of his favourite subject, Kei subconsciously ambles over to the bed and sits next to Kenma in the space he created. Kenma tenses a little at the action but Kei barely notices.

As he starts explaining, and Kenma focuses on his words, they both fall into an easy rhythm of discussion about colonisation and disease and effects on native culture.

Kei’s not the most socially competent person so the fact that they’re both so comfortable – sitting close to each other on Kenma’s _bed_ – is likely an indication of their friendship. An effortless friendship.

 

* * *

 

_Burr. Burr._

A hollow rumbling noise breaks through whatever vague dream Tetsurou was having about playing basketball. It’s nearby. His phone? It’s vibrating. A call or a message…?

_Burr. Burr._

Definitely a call.

Groaning with annoyance into the crevice of pillows his head is stuffed between, Tetsurou slowly rolls onto his side. His arm falls onto the bed and he lethargically drags it over to his bedside table until his fingers find the vibrating device. Pulling it closer he barely cracks an eye open to see the picture of Koutarou’s all too energetic face lighting up his screen.

With another groan he presses the answer button, he doesn’t even have to put it on speaker phone to hear his best friend’s far too loud voice.

“ _Bro! What the hell? I’ve been calling you for ages!_ ”

“Why, bro?” Tetsurou whines at the phone sitting on the bed next to his sleep scrunched face. “It’s… Ten thirty… On a _Saturday_.”

“ _We have a crisis!_ ” He yells which makes Tetsurou grimace, the sound grating at his ears.

He loves his best friend, even when other people find him annoying and loud, but Tetsurou is _not_ a morning person and the fact that Koutarou has as much energy at six in the morning as he does all day, until he completely zonks out at ten at night, is _annoying_.

“What…?”

“ _Tets, they know, they all know!_ ”

“The school…? I know, I was there remember.”

Yesterday, through lunch period, the news started spreading about ‘homos’ on the basketball team. The disgusted way people were speaking about it still makes Tetsurou cringe. But at the time, even after school, no one knew who specifically had been caught making out in a bathroom. Of course Tetsurou knew as soon as the first hint of the not-so-false rumour started to spread when Koutarou’s face went a deep shade of red and Keiji looked like he wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Quietly – somehow – his best friend had admitted that they’d been caught.

“ _Yeah but they didn’t know it was me and Keiji, now they do!_ ” Koutarou’s words are frantic and he’s speaking twice as fast as he usually does. Which makes it miraculous that Tetsurou can understand. “ _Check Facebook or Twitter man! They all know. Keiji is_ freaking out _!_ ”

This wakes him up somewhat. ‘Freak out’ and ‘Keiji’ do not belong together in a sentence.

There is muffled complaint in the background of the call before Tetsurou asks, “What do you mean ‘freaking out’?”

Koutarou doesn’t answer right away, he hears movement and a door closing. Tetsurou realises that his best friend is currently at Keiji’s house, in his room, and just left to speak more privately with him.

“ _Dude, I’ve never seen him like this_ ,” Koutarou’s voice is conspiratorially low, the concern unmistakeable. “ _I really don’t know what to do. He won’t get out of bed and he won’t talk to me. He’s scared Tetsu. Keiji,_ Keiji _is fuckin’_ scared _! And it’s scaring me_.”

The helplessness in his best friend’s voice wakes him up better than a bucket of water to the face and Tetsurou sits upright.

“I’ll be there in ten, Kou,” he says quickly and ends the call.

With concern for his friends setting his nerves on edge, Tetsurou showers and dresses in record time, more awake than he usually is at this time on a Saturday morning. As he rushes down the stairs, wallet in his pocket and keys flipping around his finger, his mother asks about his rush.

“You’re awake early, honey. Where are you off to?”

“Ah, friend crisis,” Tetsurou answers, skirting around the truth as he grabs a banana and a bottle of water out of the friend. “I’ll be back later.”

Out the door and in his car it doesn’t take him long to get to Keiji’s, a five minute drive from his own house. He knocks at the door and isn’t surprised when Koutarou answers it. Keiji’s parents are rarely home – they work more than Tetsurou’s do – most of the time he’s by himself or sometimes his older sister is visiting. Koutarou, as he always does of people he cares about, inserted himself easily into Keiji’s life, comfortable thinking of Keiji’s house as his own even after only a few months being together.

His best friend’s eyes, usually bright and wide with excitement, are darker and there is a pinched crease of worry between his silver eyebrows. His mouth is set in a tight line and his fist is clenched by his side. Tetsurou has never seen Koutarou so genuinely uneasy.

“Thank _fuck_ bro, so glad you’re here,” Koutarou says, drawing Tetsurou into a tight hug. “I can’t do this stuff, I’m not good at it,” he confesses as he pulls back and allows Tetsurou entrance. “I don’t know what to do. Did you see what people are saying?”

Tetsurou winces. He wants to check the extent of damage social media is reaping but at the same time he knows it’s likely a very bad idea. One that will lead to… Broken things.

“Nah man, bad idea.”

“That’s what Keiji said, he won’t let me look.”

Despite the situation a smile curls Tetsurou’s lips. “And you’re just… Not looking?”

“He told me not to!”

Tetsurou chuckles and slaps his friend on the shoulder. “Dude, you are so whipped.”

Koutarou isn’t even offended – not that Tetsurou meant it offensively, just that generally people would be – he just beams back a proud smile. “Yeah I am!”

“So gone for each other, so adorable,” he scruffs his hand through Koutarou’s hard, spiked hair. “Okay, so Keiji’s unresponsive? He told you not to check Facebook, so he’s at least a little responsive?”

“Yeah…” his best friend’s face falls. “He’s curled up and quiet, more so than usual. It’s not good bro. I don’t like it. I just… I don’t like seeing him like this.”

Tetsurou heaves a sigh and smiles ruefully, squeezing Koutarou’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay bro. Let’s go talk to him, yeah?”

Koutarou leads them to Keiji's room, though, having been here numerous times before, Tetsurou knows the way. It’s dark inside, the light off and curtains closed. It reminds him of the perpetual cave-like state of Kenma’s room. Clothes are scattered lazily on the floor and books dumped messily on his desk. It’s all very unlike neat-freak Keiji.

“Hey Keiji, Tetsu is here,” Koutarou announces, sitting on the edge of the bed next to a large lump under the covers and gently nudging it after a few silent seconds. “C’mon babe, please talk.”

“There is nothing to talk about,” Keiji’s dismissive, monotonous voice is muffled under the covers.

His best friend turns to him and shrugs dramatically and helplessly, begging Tetsurou for some kind of answer or help. Sighing deeply Tetsurou glances about the dim room and his eyes move to the offending curtains. As he walks over to open them he can hear Koutarou quietly mumbling sweet words to his boyfriend. Tetsurou thinks it should make him uncomfortable, being in the same room while they do this, but he really isn’t. Koutarou is the epitome of PDA so he’s more than used to it; hell, Tetsurou has been the main target of his platonic PDA for the last three years. Mostly he just finds the comforting between the couple endearing.

Sometimes he finds himself smiling stupidly at them being all cute and couple-y. What can he say, he’s a romantic. Not that he wants it, to be _with_ someone, basketball is too much of a priority, but… It seems nice.

Tetsurou pulls open the curtain and hears Keiji groan behind him, a feeling he understands. When he walks back over to them, Koutarou stands and pushes Tetsurou down in his place a little too firmly, never aware of his own strength.

“Hey Keiji,” Tetsurou starts, resting a hand on what looks like his shoulder. He hopes. “This really isn’t like you. I expect this from him—” he indicates to Koutarou who squawks a complaint, “—but not from you.”

“You clearly have not seen what they are saying,” Keiji responds, his voice breaking a little and it fucking hurts to hear from such a composed person.

“They’re just assholes Keiji. They don’t deserve your time and they aren’t worth the anger. Their opinions are literally meaningless.”

“Is that what you tell yourself every morning?” his voice is bitter, almost biting.

Tetsurou sits back, his hand leaving Keiji’s shoulder and his eyes wide because that actually hurt. He’s well aware of the things people say about him, he’s far from stupid, but he ignores it because he _doesn’t_ care what they think. He _does_ , however, care what his friends think. Which Keiji clearly knows as he immediately sits up and takes Tetsurou’s hand back between his own.

“I’m sorry,” he says, red rimmed dark green eyes intense with sincerity. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know,” Tetsurou answers, they understand each other too well to have to explain sometimes. He smiles warmly, wrapping his fingers around Keiji’s hand reassuringly. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but being miserable like this won’t help anything. You’re stronger than this and you know it. You’re Keiji _fucking_ Akaashi, you’re homo as fuck and you don’t give a single shit what any of those losers think.”

Koutarou pumps his fists in the air. “Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

Keiji’s gaze moves to his boyfriend and a small smile curls the corner of his mouth.

“Besides, our Ace is lost without you--”

“Yeah!”

“—It’s pathetic really.”

“Hey!” Koutarou whines which only stretches Keiji’s smile further.

“And I kinda need him in top form for the team to win. Probably you too,” Tetsurou adds with a shrug, smirking. “Unfortunately there isn’t five of _me,_  then we’d _definitely_ win.”

Koutarou decides to be offended by this, shoving Tetsurou down onto the bed, pinning him down across Keiji’s legs and growling at him to take back the ‘pathetic’ and the ‘five of me’ comments. Tetsurou is just chuckling in his ridiculously incensed face and Keiji is actually snickering, covering his mouth as if he can actually keep the laughter in.

“Bro, get off, you’re fucking heavy!” Tetsurou complains exaggeratedly, pushing at his best friend’s solidly built chest. Koutarou’s not _that_ much stronger than him but he currently has the advantage of down weight.

“Koutarou.”

His mouth hangs open with the retort he was about to yell before Keiji reprimanded him in a nonchalant tone that somehow always works. Tetsurou smirks as Koutarou groans petulantly and rolls off him, now lying across Keiji’s lap. When Koutarou notices this, all hints of annoyance leave his face and his expression softens as he sits up.

“Are you feeling better Keiji?”

A fond smile lights Keiji’s blotchy face. It’s so incredibly difficult to see such a stoic person upset. Keiji’s hair is a mess – though nowhere near Tetsurou’s level of bad bedhead – and his face is puffy and ruddy from crying. Yet he still somehow manages to look ridiculously attractive. Tetsurou wants to know his secret but he feels like it will remain an eternal mystery.

“Yes,” Keiji answers and then turns to Tetsurou. “Thank you.”

He simply nods in response but of course Koutarou is insulted.

“What about me? I’m the one that called him!”

“Because you didn’t know what to do,” Keiji points out flatly, which makes Tetsurou wince, he can practically feel Koutarou starting to break down into a dejected mess. “But thank you for being here for me. For caring.”

And just like that Koutarou melts because, in his own words, Keiji’s compliments are ‘worth all the insults in the world’. Melting leads to sickeningly sweet kissing. Tetsurou smiles at them, so exceedingly happy for his friends, but then he notices Koutarou’s tongue licking uninhibited into Keiji’s mouth, and suddenly Tetsurou is very aware that he’s in a bedroom alone with them, sitting on the bed they’re making out on.

“I’ll see you guys later,” he says, standing quickly.

“Shit, bro, sorry! Forgot you were here.”

Tetsurou gasps theatrically. “Rude and uncalled for! Especially after the heroics I have accomplished here today.”

Keiji raises a dark eyebrow, unimpressed as ever.

“You don’t have to leave bro, we can hang!”

“Nah it’s cool,” he shrugs it off and then winks suggestively. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Koutarou grins far too brightly, giving him two thumbs up and Keiji huffs with exasperation. Shaking his head and chuckling, Tetsurou lets himself out and makes his way back home.

It’s not until Tetsurou’s back in his room that he discovers just how frustrated he is by this whole situation. He made the mistake of checking Facebook, out of sheer habit really, and was repulsed by the very first post he saw. Of course he scrolled to the next and the next, it all went downhill from there. Never has he wanted to leave long ranting comments, full of highly offensive words, to people he barely knows before. On every post. From the highly disturbing ‘I bet ice-king Keiji’s face is a slutty mess as Koutarou’s reaming him’ to the underwhelming and unimaginative ‘no wonder they love basketBALLS’.

Tetsurou's pacing in his room restlessly, tossing a basketball between his hands subconsciously as he worries about school on Monday. If it’s like this now, what’s it going to be like physically surrounded by the assholes? Perhaps they’re braver because it’s online, but if they’re together at school isn’t it more of a pack mentality thing and they’ll be just as—

 _Fuck, I need to go do something,_ Tetsurou thinks, stopping abruptly in his tracks.

Without much thought he pulls on his black and red Nikes, takes his ball and jogs over to Kenma’s house. Inside is as dim as ever and, as a result of the heavy light blocking curtains, much cooler than the heat outside. Closing the front door behind him he makes his way to Kenma’s room, the door closed like always. He doesn’t knock, he rarely does, but he probably should have.

“Oh? What’s this?” Tetsurou disguises his surprise and discomfort with humour. “Study date Ken?”

Sitting in a mess of textbooks and notes next to Kenma is Kei, looking as awkward as Tetsurou feels. Kei’s long pale legs are draped over the side of the bed and he’s leaning close to Kenma, over the notebook Kenma’s pen is resting on mid-word. Kei is tense, his gold eyes widened as if he’s been caught doing something he isn’t supposed to.

Tetsurou wonders if perhaps he was wrong about Kenma liking Shouyou until he notices the absolute lack of concern on Kenma’s face. He’s certain that if it were the energetic redhead sitting next to Kenma instead of Kei, his best friend would be flustered and mortified about now. Tetsurou relaxes as he realises that he’s not actually interrupting anything awkwardly.

“Is Keiji okay?” Kenma questions, completely ignoring Tetsurou’s comment and turning back to his writing.

He shrugs, giving a rueful smile. “For now… Hey Tsukki! What are you doing here?”

Kei seems to have relaxed but sits up straight. “Helping with homework. What happened to Keiji?”

“The school found out who the ‘basketball homos’ were,” with the basketball under his arm Tetsurou bends his fingers into quotation marks. “Twitter and Facebook have blown up about it of course. Bunch of judgemental pricks.”

The blond gives a knowing nod as if he’s experienced similar juvenile bullying, and it makes Tetsurou curious. He doesn’t ask though, it’s likely something Kei doesn’t wish to discuss with two people he met only two weeks ago.

“I need to get my mind off it before I drive over to someone’s house and deck them. Come play with me,” Tetsurou almost begs, holding the ball in front of him and wiggling it. “Please Ken.”

“I have homework.”

He groans. “You’re the worst. Why didn’t you do it last night?”

“Because I’m not some uptight study weirdo like you,” Kenma deadpans.

“ _You_ finished your homework on a Friday night?” Kei questions, eyebrow cocked and incredulous. “You don’t seem the studious type.”

Tetsurou gasps in mock horror. “I’ll have you know I am _very_ smart!”

He snorts a laugh and a smirk curls his lips. “I’ll just have to take your word for it.”

“Kuro has a perfect GPA,” Kenma says, like it’s the most boring piece of information he’s ever given.

Tetsurou notices Kei’s eyes widening in surprise and beams a smug grin at him. He’s never really been one for bragging about his grades, basketball certainly, but not his grades. And yet seeing Kei’s reaction gives him an odd sense of satisfaction; must be because he already knows how intelligent Kei is with a GPA only marginally lower.

“Tsukki? Do _you_ have homework?”

“I finished my homework last night.”

A grin spreads across Tetsurou’s face. “I knew there was a reason I liked you. Let’s go.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘ _why’_? To have fun, duh! Also to distract me from the whole decking-a-bunch-of-idiotic-high-schoolers thing.”

Kei shrugs. “That would be rather amusing though.”

Heaving a sigh Tetsurou glances down at the basketball and twists it between his hands. He forgot how stubborn Kei is. Unlike Kenma, who simply prefers the company of pixels on a screen, Kei acts as if the whole concept of doing things perturbs him. Which Tetsurou can tell isn’t genuine, that there is some part of Kei that actually wants to do things, to have fun, to play. It’s simply hidden under his cool exterior.

“It would be good for you Tsukki, you really  _need_  all the practise you can get.”

Tetsurou glances back in time to see Kei’s lip twitch and holds back the triumphant smirk that’s threatening to overwhelm his expression. _You have him on the line Tetsu, play it cool and reel him in._

He shrugs nonchalantly and continues. “We’ve been doing a lot of team drills in training. I could teach you some one-on-one defensive skills, since that’s your weakest area.”

Jaw clenched in annoyance Kei stands and glances down at Kenma. “Will you be okay doing the rest?”

Kenma hums an affirmative response, his pen moving across the page confidently. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Kei strides across the room and Tetsurou grins at him as he passes. _Sweet victory._ The smile never leaves his face as he follows Kei out of the house and calls a farewell to Kenma.

The blond seems to know where the nearby public basketball court is, so Tetsurou falls into step behind him without a word. Kei’s shoulders are tense, a result of Tetsurou’s critical words, or perhaps simply a result of his social anxiety. He recognised it early in the way Kei is softly spoken, _just_ loud enough for people to hear, the way he chews on his lips and the way he knots his fingers tightly together. Having grown up with Kenma, he’s sensitive to these things and endeavours not to push the blond too far.

“Hey,” Tetsurou starts, catching up to walk beside Kei. “Thank you for helping with Ken’s homework by the way. He’s smart but he gets a little distracted in class sometimes and misses things. Mori said you’ve been texting him with help through the week too.”

Kei shrugs. “I’m not doing it for you.”

“Right, obviously. But we grew up together, he’s kind like my little brother. So thank you anyway.”

He nods slowly and they fall into silence again. Tetsurou’s always been a social person, and he likes to think he’s good at reading people, but he feels so uncertain when it comes to Kei. He’s different from most people; he’s mature, jaded and incredibly guarded for someone his age.

Despite the time they spend together, at training and travelling to school together, Tetsurou still isn’t sure how to act around Kei sometimes. It feels like there is an awkwardness between them that he doesn’t quite understand. It feels like Kei avoids him sometimes, but he’s noticed at training that he’s a very quiet person and often keeps to himself, so it’s probably not just Tetsurou he’s distant with. It doesn’t faze him but, considering the time they’ll likely be spending together through the year, he’d like them to be at least friendly with each other, comfortable.

“You don’t have a problem with it do you? Keiji and Kou… Being together?”

Kei frowns, side-eyeing him. “Of course not. Why?”

Tetsurou grunts. “Minor amount of faith in humanity restored.”

“They won’t let it go,” Kei responds after a moment of silence. He doesn’t seem like he’s going to continue until Tetsurou frowns at him in question. “The kids at school. They’ll probably try to make Keiji and Koutarou miserable. Makes them feel better about themselves.”

As he says this Tetsurou isn’t certain where Kei’s sense of understanding of this topic lies; with the bully or the victim. Perhaps both. He’s experienced the bite of Kei’s words before but never felt there was anything malicious behind the intent. That’s possibly why he’s so guarded and why he carefully considers every word before he speaks. Overcorrecting and conscientious of saying the wrong thing, of hurting people.

“Of the two of them I expected Kou to be struggling but for some reason Keiji’s letting it get to him. I just hope he can get through Monday,” Tetsurou confesses with a sigh. “Because I think you’re right, I don’t think they’ll let it go.”

They enter the court and find no one there; the day too hot for casual games. Tetsurou doesn’t waste time, he focusses his efforts on basketball and it washes over his mind like a relieving shower after an exhausting day. The greatest distraction. Kei listens, quiet and patient, as Tetsurou explains defensive positioning and movement in great detail. He can practically see the blond’s mind absorbing the information and it leaves Tetsurou smiling to himself. The more time he spends training with Kei the more excited Tetsurou is about playing with him.

They play one-on-one for a couple of hours and Kei improves swiftly, never complaining, though he seems more exhausted than Tetsurou.

“One more,” Tetsurou says, panting heavily, sweat plastering his black bangs to his forehead.

He bounces the ball leisurely as he takes it back to half court and as he turns, lowering himself into an attaching stance, he watches Kei’s gold eyes flicker over his form. Tetsurou knows what he sees, what he’s watching for, because he does the same. The only difference in their play style is the way they react. While Tetsurou is instinctive, moving through sheer reflex, Kei is calculating and measured, deciding in an instant what the best action.

Dribbling faster Tetsurou approaches, swaying back and forth, weight shifting in an attempt to disguise his attack pattern. The determined expression on Kei’s face as he observes the movement makes Tetsurou grin, a familiar competitive fire burning through him. Pushing off his left swiftly, Tetsurou dives past Kei, brushing past his arm. Kei stays with him but his movement is lethargic and he isn’t quick enough to stop Tetsurou from shooting a rather lazy layup.

When Tetsurou turns around with a triumphant grin he sees Kei bent over with his hands on his knees, his chest heaving as he sucks in deep breaths, his black t-shirt sticking to him and his blond hair darker with sweat.

“You all right Tsukki?” Tetsurou asks, a little concerned, but Kei straightens and his breathing steadies.

He nods. “Yeah. It’s really hot.”

“That’s an understatement. Probably be the last hot day for a while,” Tetsurou chuckles as he collects the ball and props it under his arm. “C’mon, wouldn’t want you to get heat stroke.”

Kei lets out an exasperated huff but follows quietly after Tetsurou. He slows his pace so he can keep an eye on Kei, he seems like the type that wouldn’t say anything if they were suffering any kind of ailment. Tetsurou notices the redness of his pale arms and instantly feels guilty.

“Shit dude, you got sunburnt,” he winces and his fingers automatically move to Kei’s arm. He stiffens in Tetsurou’s grip but doesn’t pull away. “Sorry about that, not something I have much experience with.”

Running his long fingers over the redness Kei shrugs. “It’ll be fine, not like it’s the first time I’ve been sunburnt. Also nice subtle bragging about your tan skin.”

“Nothing subtle about it,” Tetsurou says, winking at him before letting his arm go. “Nah, I prefer pale skin. It’s softer. Mine feels all leathery like old man skin.”

“Stop fishing for compliments, you already give yourself more than enough. Your head’s already a mess we don’t need it exploding as well.”

“Wha--? Are you calling me arrogant Tsukki? I’m wounded!”

The corner of Kei’s mouth is quirked with amusement as he glances at Tetsurou. “I call them like a see them.”

“And leave my hair out of this! It is an innocent third party and doesn't deserve this treatment.”

“Innocent is not the way I would describe it,” Kei grimaces, scrutinising Tetsurou’s perpetual bedhead. “More like a dark, sweaty nest in which resides the spawn of Satan.”

“Oh yeah, well yours is… It’s…” He fumbles with his words, trying to find an insult for Kei’s neat, softly curled blond hair. “Ugh, fine, there is nothing wrong with your hair and mine is a disaster, I’m well aware thank you very much.”

Tetsurou aggressively pushes his fingers through his thick black hair but it slumps back in its usual disarray immediately. Kei starts laughing, a choked, quiet noise like he’s trying to contain it and Tetsurou’s eyes widen as he realises he’s never heard the him laugh before. It’s a pleasant sound, especially when Tetsurou starts laughing with him and Kei stops trying to hold it back.

As their laughter dies down Tetsurou notices how much more relaxed Kei is, his fingers loose instead of curled up and his mouth soft instead of in its usual harsh line. Perhaps this is a glimpse of Kei’s unguarded self, jovial and content. It’s nice to see.

“Hey,” Tetsurou calls after Kei as he starts down his street and turns back to face him. “Thank you, for playing with me, for being a distraction. I really needed it.”

Kei nods, his gold eyes metallic in the bright afternoon light. “Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worried Akiteru… Be still my heart. Sassy Akiteru… *wiggles eyebrows*


	5. Manipulation

Foreboding dark grey clouds blanket the sky and set the morning in dim light as the sun fights a losing battle to brighten the day. Kei stands out on the front porch waiting to be picked up for school and thinks it’s rather fitting.

As a new student Kei isn’t integrated into the Nekodani social network yet, but Tadashi had been miserable enough about it yesterday for him to know that the ‘homosexual’ commotion hasn’t died down. He knew it wouldn’t. He hoped, for Keiji and Koutarou’s sakes, he hoped. Unfortunately, hope is simply another way to be disappointed.

It makes Kei feel more upset than he thinks he should, considering the short time he’s known them, but the issue is too relatable. There is a wound that hasn’t quite sealed between the metaphorical stitches – though, there were literal stitches also – his brother saved him with.

Tetsurou’s red Jetta pulls up out the front and Kei, despite the heavy rain rapidly drenching his clothes, ambles over to the car indifferently and slumps down in the front seat. When he closes the door and looks up at Tetsurou he’s a blurred image of grinning white teeth and messy black bangs through the droplets covering his glasses. With an indignant huff he takes them off and starts cleaning them with a driest part of his white shirt.

“Morning Tsukki,” Tetsurou’s voice chimes, but there is an early morning huskiness behind it that makes Kei think he’s not as happy about it being morning as he fronts. He refuses to acknowledge how sexy it sounds. “Wow, it must be really annoying having glasses in the rain.”

Halfway through removing the water from his glasses Kei glances up; his vision isn’t so bad that he doesn’t see Tetsurou’s amber brown eyes roam his face.

“Why don’t you wear contacts?” Tetsurou blurts.

Kei frowns and continues cleaning his glasses. “They’re annoying,” he answers dismissively. “Why aren’t you driving?”

“Right, school. Or, as I like to call it, hell on earth. Only redeeming thing about today will be practice,” Tetsurou mumbles as he pulls out onto the road.

“Did you finish the homework all right?” Kei addresses Kenma, who is sitting quietly in the backseat.

“Yep. It was easy enough after your explanation. Thank you.”

In the silence that follows Tetsurou starts drumming his fingers on the steering wheel; not an unusual action for him but it’s more twitchy and erratic, lacking a steady beat. With his glasses set comfortably on his nose again Kei watches Tetsurou from the corner of his eye, noticing the uncomfortable set of his broad shoulders and the tension in his muscular forearms. He looks anxious, more so than Kei has ever seen him.

“So, how catastrophically bad do you think today will be?” Tetsurou questions, the thinness of his voice confirming Kei’s thoughts.

Kei doesn’t want to answer but he knows Kenma won’t and he doesn’t like hearing the ever cool and confident Captain sound so uneasy. It doesn’t suit him.

“Anything they say or do… They don’t deserve to affect the outcome of your day,” Kei says, his jaw tight as he stares out the window at the droplets of water threading across the glass.

He can feel Tetsurou’s eyes on him but doesn’t turn to meet them. As resolute and resilient as Kei might sound the words feel forced. It doesn’t matter if you know and believe your asshole peers are, in fact, assholes that are determined to make your life miserable if only to make theirs seem slightly less so, it still hurts. But perhaps Kei’s friends are stronger than him and won’t go home to curl into a misshapen ball and grossly sob themselves to sleep tonight. He hopes they won’t.

“We’ll be working on individual skill sets today,” Tetsurou says, changing the subject as if feeling Kei’s discomfort. “You’ll be working with me Tsukki! And probably Lev. God knows both of you need a lot of work.”

This makes Kei’s head spin back to Tetsurou who is, of course, smirking playfully. Clicking his tongue Kei turns back to the window but feels himself relax as Tetsurou’s rambling words about practice wash over him. Kei grounds himself with Tetsurou’s voice and focuses on the details of what he’s speaking about.

When they pull into a parking space in Nekodani’s parking lot Kei sees Koutarou and Keiji waiting for them under cover. They’re holding hands because, well, there probably isn’t much point in _not_ holding hands anymore; the comfort is well worth those few extra eyes on them. They’re standing huddled together, talking, worrying. Keiji looks as stoic as ever, his expression carefully controlled but his body language, leaning into his boyfriend seeking support, gives away his discomfort. Koutarou looks more relaxed but from what Kei knows of him he likely doesn’t care what anybody thinks about him.

Tetsurou and Kenma scramble out of the car, covering their heads with their bags and running for cover, while Kei takes his time. He gets wetter and his glasses need cleaning again but he likes the rain. It’s soothing. Cool on his skin where his shirt clings to him.

“Mornin’ Tsukki!” Koutarou greets him cheerfully when he finally reaches them. “Shit, you’re drenched!”

When Kei only shrugs, attention on wiping his glasses, Tetsurou says, “Apparently he likes the rain.”

“What’s wrong with rain?”

Smirking, finding something humorous that Kei cannot comprehend, Tetsurou shakes his head. “Nothing. We should probably…" he trails of, glancing between Koutarou and Keiji, "get going.”

For the first time the five of them don’t separate into seniors and juniors, they enter the school as an unspoken unified front of six foot tall intimidating athletes. People gawk and whisper and giggle but Kei ignores them, making a beeline for his locker. It’s not until he unlocks it that he notices Tetsurou’s followed him. Discreetly Kei’s eyes flicker to Tetsurou and he relaxes marginally when he notices Tetsurou watching Koutarou and Keiji. They’re talking in hushed voices in front of Keiji’s locker and it’s certainly not difficult to guess what they’re discussing.

“Keiji’s telling Kou to ignore it,” Tetsurou mumbles to himself, like he’s analysing a silent film.

“He has a point,” Kei remarks and Tetsurou glances at him, surprised to get a response. “As horrible as they _are_ , reacting to them will only make it worse. Especially reacting physically.”

Tetsurou scoffs. “Kou wouldn’t hurt a fly, he’s a big softy.”

“And you?”

“I’ll…” he clenches his jaw. “Restrain myself.”

“Tetsurou—” Kei catches himself their eyes lock for a long silent moment. “Just…”

“Don’t worry Tsukki, I’m not going to do anything, I’m not stupid.”

“Could have fooled me,” he mumbles in good humour.

“What?” Tetsurou questions and Kei can hear the smirk in it as he sorts through his locker.

“Nothing.”

In some ways the time they spent together on the weekend made it easier to be around him; Kei feels like they’re getting to know each other, that they’re now actually friends rather than some odd form of acquaintance. But the friendship, as much as Kei wants it, worries him because of the feelings Tetsurou is starting to bring to life in him.

Tetsurou chuckles with amusement. “See ya at practice Tsukki.”

It takes every ounce of willpower Kei has not to stare longingly after Tetsurou as he leaves with Koutarou. He’s happy he didn’t because Tadashi is suddenly beside him but the perpetual happy crinkle at the corners of his eyes is nowhere to be seen.

“It’s bad,” Tadashi reports in a dejected tone.

Kei wants to scoff – but settles for a long-suffering sigh – because _that_ is an understatement. His eyes wander the rapidly crowding junior locker corridor. Groups are forming and ridiculous little jokes about homosexuality and the basketball team can be heard. Anyone in the vicinity of Keiji – who is thankfully standing with Kenma and Morisuke – is smirking at him except a group of girls who are watching Kei. As soon as his withering gaze lands on them they squeak and quickly avert their gazes.

The air is oppressive in the tightly packed corridor. Hearing their hurtful words, even if they’re not aimed at him, makes Kei cringe. It makes him feel ill. It makes him wonder how people can be so hateful, so insensitive and cruel, but then they don’t see it that way.

_“It’s just a bit of fun, don’t be such a pussy.”_

Yeah. Fun.

Slamming his locker closed – making a couple of people around him flinch, including Tadashi – he stalks off to his first class.

For the most part Kei is able to tune out the gossip and ridicule. His first two classes drag on as his mind reels through memories he’d rather forget. The hum of noise, as much as he ignores it, builds in the back of his mind, growing louder as the day progresses.

Kenma follows along quietly as they make their way to Health. Kei had asked about Keiji’s second period class and Kenma had allayed his concerns, informing him that Hitoka was with him. His main hope at this point is that Keiji can get through the day without being alone for too long. It’s difficult to discern Keiji’s distress but if the ever perceptive Tetsurou is worried for him then so is Kei.

They enter health class to find Keiji already sitting at his desk, expression blank as his deep green eyes flicker over the book in front of him. There is a group of girls sitting on the desks at the back of classes giggling about ‘ice princess Keiji’ and ‘porn star Koutarou’ and that apparently that’s action they’d ‘sign up to see’, like they’re relationship is a public freak show, open for all to gawk at.

Kei’s stomach tightens as he takes his seat in front of Keiji and Kenma sits beside him. Keiji doesn’t acknowledge either of them so Kei figures he wants to keep to himself; Kei isn’t very good at consoling anyway.

A senior boy, who’d been traipsing passed the open classroom door, makes an excited surprised noise and enters the room, walking straight up to Keiji.

“Hey, pretty boy,” he smirks like it’s the most humorous thing he’s ever said. Considering how unintelligent he looks Kei thinks it likely _is_ the most humorous thing he’s ever said. “I hear you got yourself the Ace’s fat cock to fuck yourself with, good on you. Honestly I’m rather impressed that someone as delicate as you can take such a pounding, the dude’s _all_ energy!”

Kei doesn’t have to turn to see Keiji’s jaw clench or the small line between his brows caused by the horrid churning in his stomach. He just knows.

That humming white noise in Kei’s mind goes abruptly silent and the tightly pulled string of his patience _snaps_. Not for himself, but for them. For Kenma, flinching at the hateful words and attempting to make himself as small as possible. For Keiji, stoic, gentle and unbelievably understanding. They don’t deserve this.

The noise of his chair pushing backwards screeches out, silencing the laughter in the room, before it slams into Keiji’s desk. Kei stands tall, his shoulders tense. He turns to face the shorter senior who, while bulkier than him – mostly with chubbiness – stiffens with alarm as his beady hazel eyes meet the unrestrained infuriated scowl on Kei’s face. Looming over him Kei’s expression morphs into a smirk that makes his beady eyes widen further.

“Hi, sorry, what’s your name?” Kei asks, his voice light with false friendliness.

“Er, I…” he mutters, confused. “Todd.”

“Nice to meet you, Todd. I’m Kei. I just wanted to stop this lame attempt at flirting before it got out of hand. I mean, the whole pigtail pulling approach, so elementary school. Keiji's so attractive that going to any length _is_ understandable but, you know, sometimes nice guys don’t finish last.”

Todd’s mouth is hanging open and his face is bright red. “I-I wasn’t—!”

“Oh! Okay, if you say so. But you acknowledged how ‘pretty’ Keiji is and sure seem to have thought an awful lot about him taking cock. You sure there aren’t any secret personal fantasies in there, Todd?” Kei grins, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe it’s _your_ cock you want him wrapped around?”

A strangled noise is all that Todd responds with.

“In which case, I feel like it’s my duty to remind you about Keiji’s boyfriend, Koutarou. You might know him… About yay high, energy level through the roof and ridiculously beefy. Honestly, when he gets angry he scares the _shit_ outta me,” Kei whispers conspiratorially and laughs nervously. “Well… You get what I’m saying, right Todd?”

Todd shuts his mouth with a resounding click and takes a step backwards. “Dude, you’re… fucking crazy.”

Kei’s smile drops instantly and he drawls, “You have no idea. Don’t you have a class to get to, Todd?”

As he scurries out of the room Kei slowly turns his unimpressed glower around the silent room, eyeing the other students pointedly before re-taking his seat. They start talking in hushed tones but it’s no longer about Keiji. Kei can feel Keiji and Kenma staring at him but he doesn’t remove his gaze from the front of the room.

“Thank you, Kei,” Keiji says quietly.

Kei turns his head slightly to acknowledge that he’s spoken but doesn’t turn to face him. “You’re welcome. No one should have to suffer that shit alone.”

Keiji contemplates his words momentarily before he says, “Did you…?”

Taking a deep breath he remembers the people that helped him the same way.

“Not always.”

 

* * *

 

Tadashi reports, as meet up after their last class, that somehow, thankfully, Keiji has all his classes with at least someone from the basketball team. Which means that at least he wasn’t alone through the continued onslaught of despicable teenage bullying. Small miracles.

“Everyone’s talking about you on Facebook,” Tadashi remarks, leaning against the lockers next to Kei. “Apparently you’re also having sex with Keiji. ‘That new blond guy with Keiji’s stick up his ass.’”

Kei scoffs. “That’s farfetched, he’s completely out of my league.”

Tadashi grins with mirth but it fades, his brow lining with concern. “They’re saying horrible things about you Tsukki, don’t you care?”

Kei knew he wouldn’t actually be able to scare anyone into shutting the fuck up about it – they won’t leave it alone for a long while – but he doesn’t, in fact, care what they say about _him_. It doesn’t matter what they say or what they think. He’s already suffered through the worst of it, and he won’t let anyone get to him like that ever again.

“Better me than them.”

“You’re a lot nicer than you give yourself credit for you know?”

“Shut up Tadashi,” Kei drawls, lacking heat.

“Sorry Tsukki,” he responds habitually, beaming at him happily.

Throwing his bags over his shoulder Kei closes his locker and they make their way to training. Tadashi doesn’t go every night because there isn’t as much for him to do as actual members of the team but more often lately he’s taken to assisting the coaches. He’s actually becoming rather well versed in training methods and strategy. When Tadashi grows out of his social anxiety he’ll be an exceptional coach.

His best friend has grown so much from the small nervous stuttering mess of a child he was in elementary school. Kei never pitied him because he could see Tadashi's compassion and determination; traits idiotic children would never understand or see as the strong characteristics they are.

The more time Kei spends with head coach Keishin the more he sees the similarities between the coach and his best friend. That unwavering desire to solve problems and construct resolutions with sheer will. They work together well. Especially with Coach Nekomata’s guidance.

“Looking forward to Hitoka’s birthday?” Kei questions, raising his eyebrows when Tadashi flinches at the mention of her name. “You should tell her then.”

“Oh, n-no, that’s… I don’t think so,” Tadashi stutters, staring down at his feet and looking a little lost. “I mean, I think she and, um, Shouyou… I think they like each other.”

Kei doesn’t know either Hitoka or Shouyou well enough to deny that claim and he hesitates from doing so even though the sadness on his friend’s freckled face make his stomach tighten uncomfortably. He doesn’t want to give Tadashi false hope but, from what he’s observed, neither Shouyou nor Hitoka seem interested in each other that way. They both seem the nervous blushing type and neither of them blush during their overly excitable conversations with each other.

“Kou’s birthday is soon too,” Tadashi muses when Kei takes too long to form a consoling response because he’s simply hopeless with such things. “Yours too. There are so many birthdays in September.”

His jaw clenches. “Can you not… Can you please not tell anyone about it?”

Tadashi’s brown eyes widen and initially Kei worries that he already has disclosed the information, until a troubled expression washes over his features.

“Why?”

“You know I don’t really like my birthday and I’m only really here for basketball. I don’t want them to feel obligated to celebrate; I don’t—”

“Tsukki—”

“I don’t want to make a big deal of it,” Kei asserts firmly, diligently ignoring Tadashi’s puppy dog eyes. “I just want to celebrate with you and Akiteru. You’re _not_ going to tell anyone.”

His best friend sighs with defeat. “Fine, but I’d like it to be known that I think you’re being ridiculous.”

“Noted.”

Kei’s aware that it may seem he’s being ‘ridiculous’ from an outer perspective. There is simply too much hurt surrounding the occasion that no one but Akiteru will ever understand. His birth doesn’t feel like something to celebrate anymore.

They’ve made good time today and can hear the majority of the team in the locker room as they approach. It’s louder than usual, excitable, which, considering the dark clouds hanging over the heads of two of the team’s prominent members, is unexpected. Koutarou’s excited hollering, while not uncommon unfortunately, is especially unexpected in this instance.

They enter the locker room and Koutarou is standing up on a bench and the team are either laughing with him or at him. It’s often difficult to tell.

Kei’s frown only deepens when Koutarou spots him, squawks ‘ _Tsukki’_ – vaguely in the background he hears Tetsurou and Keiji try to stop him – and then Koutarou’s large hands are gripping firmly at his shoulders and he’s pressing a kiss to Kei’s mouth. Kei’s eyes widen as the locker room falls silent; Tetsurou’s amused snicker and Keiji’s exasperated sigh audible over the startled hammering of his heart.

Koutarou pulls back with a wet smack – because apparently he’d kissed Kei with a slightly open mouth and he'd been too shocked to register it – and grins ecstatically at him.

“Tsukki! You’re the best!”

Kei’s mouth is hanging open and he cannot for the life of him find words. There are no words. How does one use words?

“Koutarou,” Keiji scolds in that flat tone.

“Oh, sorry,” he drops his hands from Kei’s shoulders but his grin doesn’t falter. “Did you get a boner? I have that effect.”

“Koutarou!”

“I—no, _what?_ No!” Kei splutters, his eyes feel wider than they’ve ever been. “What the _fuck_ is going on _?_ ”

“You were so _awesome_! Everyone is talking about it!” Koutarou gushes, his yellow gold eyes alight with elation. “They’re sayin’ you almost made Todd piss himself and some people are even taking your side because the dude’s a jackass. You’re a badass Tsukki! It’s kinda scary…”

Kei’s frowning again. His eyes flicker to Keiji who’s merely smiling fondly, which is good because Kei really doesn’t want to get between them, but also weird. The tone of his soothing monotonous voice suggested that he’s accustomed to his boyfriend acting this way, or at least isn’t surprised by it.

“What Kou is failing to express,” Tetsurou adds helpfully, characteristic smirk curling his mouth, “is that the assholes aren’t so focussed on Keiji and Koutarou. When Keiji told us what you did at lunch it gave me an idea and we’ve all been ‘coming out’ on Facebook. Like, the whole team. I’m now in a 'complicated' relationship with Mori,” Tetsurou declares, throwing his arm around Morisuke’s shoulders.

Morisuke rolls his pale brown eyes and shrugs out from under his arm. “You wish.”

“Rude!” Tetsurou gasps but he’s still grinning. “Alright guys, we still have training so hurry the fuck up and get your asses out there.”

“Seriously though, Tsukki,” Koutarou says, patting him on the shoulder as his expression sobering into sincerity. “Thank you.”

Kei swallows hard as the emotion of Koutarou's words twist in his stomach. All he can do is nod in response. Koutarou grins again before making his way back to his locker, his bare, muscled chest suggesting he got distracted halfway through changing.

The room settles and Kei changes. Every time he meets one of his teammate's eyes they smile appreciatively at him and it’s not… It’s not as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. He can even feel himself smiling slightly in response. He’s starting to feel like a part of this Nekodani team.

“Tsukki, you’re smiling, are you maybe reconsidering—?”

“No.”

Tadashi chuckles fondly. “Okay, Tsukki.”

 

* * *

 

“Lev, your arms aren’t at the right angle when you’re passing!” Tetsurou growls, because it’s not the first time he’s had to remind him of this. “I don’t care how uncomfortable it feels, the more you do it properly the more naturally it will happen and the better you’ll pass. Don’t make me get Tsukki to show you again.”

The first half of training was the usual warm up and training drills: passing, shooting, dribbling. After an hour the usual rotation of training drills were stopped and everyone was assembled to be separated into groups. Keishin took most of the first string team while Coach Nekomata – more formal than the young dyed blond man in using his title – took the second string to the second court. Kei and Lev, however, have special training with Tetsurou.

This is something Tetsurou apparently specifically requested he be allowed to do and Keishin agreed it would be helpful for them. Lev is being groomed to take over from Tetsurou after this, his final year. Tetsurou is content enough with Kei’s offensive ability to focus on his ‘limited defensive capability’ before delving into giving him some strategical game experience – with Keiji’s help – and then pulling it all together to perfect Kei’s gameplay.

While Tetsurou explains all this Kei listens carefully and can’t help but be amazed by how much thought Tetsurou has put into it, into Kei. It’s a little flattering. But he shouldn’t be surprised, he knows the team is hoping for him to become their relied on shooting guard. Kei hopes for the same thing, so he works hard and allows Tetsurou to polish his skills with little complaint.

“Tsukki, can you shoot please?” Tetsurou says, drawing Kei’s attention back to the court as they’re apparently moving on from Lev’s failed passing form.

As Tetsurou has been going over different aspects of defense his attention has been going back and forth between Kei and Lev. Personally working them through it.

Lev scoffs. “No way can you shoot from there.”

Kei is standing two metres off half court. It’s a decent assumption that he can’t shoot it from this position. A wrong assumption.

“Would you just shut up and watch his form,” Tetsurou snaps but it’s softened by his smirk, he knows how far Kei can shoot.

Flexing his right hand before settling the ball in his hand, Kei sets his stance, hunching as he bounces the ball. Taking a deep breath he raises his gaze to the hoop. In a natural fluid motion Kei straightens, pushing down off his feet as his arms straighten above his head. The ball arcs through the air, on the exact trajectory Kei set it on, and swishes through the net.

Lev whistles high to low, his raised eyebrows widening his already wide green eyes. “Nothing but net. Couldn’t sink it under pressure though right? That’d be monstrous.”

“No, I can’t shoot it under pressure,” Kei admits readily, shaking his head.

“Did you notice Tsukki’s high shooting point and his jumping point?” Tetsurou questions, his brow is furrowed though because he already knows the answer.

“Uh…”

“Damn it, pay attention this time! Here Tsukki, again please.”

Kei heaves a sigh as he receives a ball from Tetsurou and does exactly the same shot. Nothing changes in his form or the trajectory. Lev turns to him with wide eyes.

“What _are_ you…? That was the same—”

“Lev!”

Kei snickers as Tetsurou growls at the lanky half-Russian. He actually doesn’t blame Lev; they’re coming to the end of training and with all the emotional turmoil of the day Kei is losing focus quickly too. It can’t have been much better on Tetsurou so Kei wonders how he maintains his seemingly unwavering motivation and, despite the snapping – which Kei suspects is just the way he gets through to Lev – patience. If Tetsurou didn’t already have Kei’s respect multiple times over he would again now.

After another two half court shots Lev finally sees what Tetsurou is trying to show him. He moves over to Kei and shows them both perfect reaction timing as Kei does some fake jump shots. Despite this being defense training Kei is actually learning a lot about how defenders think and react for when he’s shooting.

Training winds down shortly after and they finish with warm down stretches. Showering and avoiding any possible visual contact with Tetsurou – honestly Kei would rather stare at Koutarou’s regularly paraded and impeccably muscled naked form than even glimpse Tetsurou – Kei dresses quietly while the others goof around. Namely, always, Koutarou, Lev and Shouyou.

“Hey, Tsukki, you’re coming with me yeah?” Tetsurou questions, sauntering over to lean against the lockers beside Kei, shirtless, because of _course_ he is.

“Don’t I usually?” Kei practically snaps at him. _Put on your fucking shirt you overly attractive asshole._

Luckily Tetsurou just chuckles. “Just checkin’, I’ve already been ditched by one of my travel buddies.”

“What’s Kenma doing?”

“His dad's picking him up. He works a lot so they try to spend time together when they can,” Tetsurou explains, a concerned softness in his voice as he pulls a deep red t-shirt over his damp, messy black hair. “You ready to go?”

Kei nods, pulling his bag over his shoulder and closing his locker before walking over to the door.

“Kei,” he turns to Keiji’s gentle voice and is immediately pulled into Keiji’s embrace. “I’m sorry for Koutarou's actions but we’re both incredibly grateful.”

Standing stiffly, he slowly relaxes and settles his hands awkwardly on Keiji’s shoulders. Kei’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, like a fish, because he can’t find an appropriate response. Keiji pulls back and gives him a small, closed mouth smile, the corners of his green velvet eyes crinkling.

“Thank you for standing up for me,” he says sincerely. “The rest of my day was actually tolerable thanks to you.”

“You’re welcome,” Kei responds softly.

Tetsurou approaches then, patting Keiji’s shoulder. “See ya tomorrow Keij. C’mon Tsukki.”

Kei offers his best friendly smile to Keiji before following Tetsurou out of the room. As they round the building Tetsurou comes to an abrupt halt and pulls Kei to a stop with him, pressing a hand over his mouth when he goes to complain. Tetsurou practically has him pushed up against the wall as he leans around the corner covertly and all Kei can focus on is how damn close he is.

This close the heady scent of Tetsurou’s sweat and deodorant is intoxicating. Their bodies are touching at their opposite hips and the hand over Kei’s mouth is large and warm. Tetsurou is so warm. Everything is too warm. Thank fuck Tetsurou is focussed on something else because Kei’s certain that his expression is giving away all the desire he works so hard to ignore and conceal.

“Look,” Tetsurou whispers as he uncovers Kei’s mouth.

Curiosity suddenly overwhelming other emotions – that shall remain nameless – Kei frowns and leans around the corner of the building as Tetsurou makes room for him.

Standing fifteen feet away are Kenma and Shouyou. The daylight is fading quickly and the school’s automatic lights have started to come on and Kei can make out their joyful expressions; one slightly more noticeable than the other. They’re both looking down at phones in their hands before offering them back to their rightful owner. Exchanging numbers.

“Thanks Kenma!” Shouyou chirps brightly, grinning ear to ear. “I’ll text you when I get home!”

“O-okay, good night Shouyou,” Kenma responds quietly.

“See ya tomorrow Kenma!”

With that the bubbly redhead bounds away and Kenma smiles to himself, watching after Shouyou before walking in the other direction. Tetsurou starts chuckling as soon as they’re out of sight and abandons his hiding place.

“I knew it!”

“You knew they’d exchange numbers…?” Kei cocks his eyebrow with confusion.

“They _like_ each other,” Tetsurou confirms with a giant grin as they continue their way to the car.

“Because they exchanged numbers…?”

“No, because of the way they look at each other and their expressions _whilst_ they exchanged numbers. God, I’ve never seen Ken look so excited. I’m so excited _for_ him. They’re so cute.”

“You say ‘cute’ too much for someone of your… Everything,” Kei waves his hand vaguely in front of Tetsurou who merely chuckles.

“Ah, youth,” he remarks wistfully, pressing his hand to his chest and slinging an arm over Kei’s shoulders casually. “I remember my first crush. Kelly Ashfield. She wasn’t even that attractive but I was twelve and had no taste; she did have these adorable little dimples in her cheeks when she smiled though, couldn’t stop staring at them.”

Kei clicks his tongue and squirms out from under Tetsurou’s arm. “That’s… really lame.”

“Who was your first crush Kei?” Tetsurou questions, ignoring Kei’s commentary.

Before Kei can reel in his thoughts he remembers the boy; dark hair, tan skin, shorter, strong and sturdy with a pleasant smile.

“I didn’t—I’ve never cared about those things,” he mumbles as he slumps into Tetsurou’s car.

“C’mon Tsukki, you’re a teenage boy, with all the hormones and shit it’s practically impossible that you’ve never been attracted to someone.”

“ _Practically_ impossible.”

Tetsurou stares at him from the driver’s seat, brow knit as his eyes scrutinise Kei. Ever an expert at being guarded Kei’s impassive mask is carefully kept in place so Tetsurou turns away dissatisfied after unsuccessfully discerning anything from his expression. Tetsurou doesn’t say anything but he’s smiling, a completely new smile, he almost looks… intrigued.

They talk about basketball as they drive to Kei’s house. Or, more accurately, Tetsurou talks and Kei listens, sporadically making sarcastic remarks that Tetsurou seems to find humorous. They get along well, Tetsurou doesn’t get offended or awkward about his abrasive personality, in fact he seems to enjoy it, always going along with Kei’s sense of humour. It does nothing helpful for the feelings Kei is quickly developing for him. Quite the opposite. Kei _enjoys_ spending time with him. It's frustrating.

When they pull up outside Kei’s house, Tetsurou turns the car off and gets out with him.

“What are you doing?”

“Are your parents home?” Tetsurou questions, dark eyes roaming over the house.

“Uh, I—no. Why?” Kei stutters a lie in response, panic rising.

He raises an eyebrow staring at something past Kei. “Then why is there a car in the driveway…?”

Tetsurou starts walking to the house but Kei stops him at the gate. “Tetsurou, what are you doing?”

“You’re skinny.”

Kei frowns. “I’m— _What_?”

“You’re too skinny, I want to talk to your parents about your diet.”

“Um, and completely bypass the main source of information, A.K.A me, why?”

“I tried that already remember, a couple of times last week; you were all evasive and I pretty much got a grand total of zero information. Now, let me go talk to your parents so I can fix your damn diet. We need you healthy as possible this season.”

“I don’t live with my parents,” Kei says quietly as Tetsurou moves past him.

Tetsurou stops abruptly and turns back to face Kei, his expression solemn. His lips are parted, about to ask the obvious question – the question Kei _can’t_ answer – but he snaps his mouth closed again when his gaze meets Kei’s and something softens in his expression.

“I live with my brother,” Kei says quickly, before Tetsurou’s curiosity wins out over the respectful restraint.

“And he’s home?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“Wonderful!”

Heaving a sigh of annoyance Kei follows Tetsurou to the front door, fingers curled tightly around the strap of his sports duffle. This is bad, this is very bad. Akiteru cannot meet Tetsurou, he’s going to _know_. Akiteru has already caught onto the fact that Kei likes someone and he’s going to know as soon as he sees the far too attractive basketball Captain.

 _No, you can do this,_ Kei thinks to himself, swallowing hard as Tetsurou knocks – even though Kei has a key. _All you have to do is act cool, not care. Tetsurou is pushy and annoying and invasive. You do_ not _like him!_

“What, did you do forget your—?” Akiteru’s laughing voice is cut short when his gold brown eyes land on Tetsurou. “You’re not Kei.”

“Very true, unfortunately, I’ll never going to be as cool as him,” Tetsurou beams at him and offers his hand. “I’m Tetsurou Kuroo, Captain of the basketball team and Kei’s friend.”

Akiteru raises his blond eyebrow – an expression they share – and Kei watches as realisation swiftly sweeps across his features. Realisation about why Kei still hasn’t, to date, referred to ‘the Captain’ by name; why he’s evasive about the boy who drives him to and from school; why he gets overly frustrated with Akiteru’s questions about ‘boys’. His brother then grins right back at Tetsurou, shaking his hand happily.

_Shit._

“The _Captain_ , it’s so nice to finally meet you,” Akiteru beams brightly, shaking his hand for too long. _Please don’t say what I think you’re going to_ — “Kei’s told me so much about you.”

Standing behind Tetsurou, and out of his line of sight, Kei shakes his head vigorously when his brother’s golden eyes move to his own. Tetsurou doesn’t seem to notice the weirdness, even when Akiteru frowns back at Kei.

“Oh _has_ he? Probably just complaining about how harsh I am at training,” Tetsurou chuckles, scratching the back of his head. Either he’s actually nervous, which seems unlikely, knowing him, or he’s playing coy.

“No, no, he’s says you’re an amazing basketballer and he’s really enjoying playing with you. It sounds like he really respects you.”

“ _Does_ he now?” Tetsurou grins back at him, a teasing, shit-eating grin.

Okay, wow. This is the _real reason_ this shouldn’t be happening. The two people in the world who purposely go out of their way to playfully make him uncomfortable should not be in cahoots, or even in the same room for that matter. Not that they’re in a room yet. This is going to be painful. All he needs now is Tadashi and the three of them could have a grand old time turning him into a blushing, exasperated mess of a human being.

Kei pulls out all his frustrated teenager moves, clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes so hard it hurts. He pushes past both of them, which, with Tetsurou’s broad shoulders standing in the doorway and the bags on his back, is more like stumbling into the house. It’s better than either of them noticing the heat rising to his cheeks.

“Excuse me while avoid this fucking disaster waiting to happen,” Kei mumbles, walking into his room which is just off the entrance-way.

Tetsurou continues talking to Akiteru as they enter the house and already far too friendly with each other for Kei’s comfort. They’re both friendly people though, so it makes sense. He feels like he should have really been more prepared for this considering that Akiteru is like a fucking mind reading wizard and Kei has unidentified feelings – because he goes out of his way _not_ to identify them – for Tetsurou. Or maybe that’s why preparation for this would have been in vain. His brother did work it out in all of about five seconds.

Dumping his bags in his bedroom Kei follows their cheerful voices into the kitchen where they’re discussing food. Kei’s diet to be specific. Which is Tetsurou’s goal: the team, basketball. Not invading Kei’s privacy and his life. Not forcing himself further into Kei’s life. Though, if he’s being honest with himself – which doesn’t happen often – Kei would prefer Tetsurou’s reasons to be more selfish.

“He’s not that skinny is he? I mean we’re both naturally slender, like our mother,” Akiteru says leaning against the counter and raking his gaze over Kei’s body.

Kei scowls at both of them, feeling oddly naked under the scrutiny of their gazes. “Why do you care so much about my damn diet?”

“It’s important,” Tetsurou asserts in his Captain voice, with his serious Captain expression. “And I’m not saying he’s—you’re unhealthy or anything, just that you could probably eat better.”

“How do you know what I eat?”

Tetsurou simply grins smugly.

“I’m going to _kill_ Tadashi.”

“It wasn’t Freckles, I knew he’d be uncomfortable with telling me things about you. Even Kenma wouldn’t give me information—”

“That’s because he’s a decent human being,” Kei mutters.

“Sparkles told me, she understand the _importance_ of it Tsukki.”

Akiteru chokes on the water he’s drinking, somehow managing to keep it in his mouth. “You let Tetsurou call you ‘Tsukki’?”

“ _Why_ is my _diet_ so important?” Kei grinds out, ignoring both of their smirks.

Tetsurou heaves a sigh, his smile dropping. “Where do you want to take your basketball?”

“I don’t…” he frowns, glancing between them and then quietly admits, “I don’t know.”

“Bullshit. You came to Nekodani for a reason and you know it. Part of the reason I’m working hard to train you is because I personally want the team to have a good year, a winning year, and I think you will play a key role in our success. The other part is that I see how fucking _skilled_ you are and _know_ you have enough talent to go pro.”

Kei’s eyes are wide because while Tetsurou has never kept it a secret that he thinks Kei is good he’s never outright said anything so complimentary. The sincerity in his warm brown eyes twists Kei’s stomach in the most pleasant way. He can feel Akiteru staring at him and thank fuck Tetsurou continues because Kei really doesn’t think he can elicit a response.

“That’s what I want to do. Play professional basketball. In freshman year I did a tonne of research on nutrition and fitness and I’ve kept on top of it ever since,” Tetsurou shrugs nonchalantly, like that’s a normal thing for a fourteen year old to do. “So I want to help you with it. Like I’ve helped Kou and Keiji and Mori and… Well, most of the team.”

“ _Jesus_ , you really are team dad,” Kei breathes with amusement, needing to defuse some of the seriousness between them and definitely needing Akiteru to _stop staring._

Tetsurou chuckles. “And proud of it. So I’ve got a couple of meal plans and information and stuff I can give you. Since Tsukki is too _stubborn_ to even tell me how he eats I’m not trusting him with it; Akiteru seems much more trustworthy.”

After beaming his mischievous grin at Kei, Tetsurou launches into a discussion about food with Akiteru, who is just as completely immersed in the conversation. It’s odd to watch them so seriously talk about… Well, anything, but specifically this. Akiteru and Tetsurou get along well. It makes Kei happier than he should be, than he’d like to admit.

Swiftly growing bored of their in depth discussion about nutrition Kei mumbles about homework and makes his way into his bedroom. Getting his books out of his bag Kei pulls out his headphones and actively ignores their voices focusing on his homework.

An undetermined amount of time later Kei’s halfway through his maths homework when movement at the corner of his eye draws his attention. He looks up as Tetsurou lies down across the end of the double bed, picking up Kei’s English book and flipping through the pages.

Pulling his earphones down around his neck Kei raises an eyebrow at him. “You know you have this weird habit of making yourself at home.”

“It’s not weird. More people should be as chill as me.”

“…Do you know what privacy means?”

Tetsurou meets his gaze meaningfully. “I know where the line is and I know how to navigate it. I know how to nudge at it when people are stubborn and difficult.”

“Sounds manipulative.”

He shrugs. “All social interactions could be classified as such. We always smile and display our best self, we’re selective about the information we give and ask questions we want answers to. It’s human nature.”

Most of the time Tetsurou is a playful idiot and then he says things like this, all too wise and beyond his years, it makes Kei remember just how intelligent he is. It’s… Unfair really. How can someone be so smart and attractive and friendly and athletic? But he knows how hard Tetsurou works for his study and sport; perhaps it's not unfair so much as earned.

“I wanted to thank you,” Tetsurou says, sitting up and folding his leg underneath him as he turns to face Kei, expression more sincere than he’s ever seen, “for what you did for Keiji. For both of them really. I just… You didn’t see Keiji on the weekend, he was—he was broken. It was hard to see. He’s usually so together. And of course Kou has no idea how to handle it so they were both just… Lost. I could see Keiji keeping up a brave face this morning but he wasn’t dealing well. Which is understandable. But you…” he smiles warmly. “I wish I could have seen it. Keiji’s in awe of you dude, and that’s not a common thing. So just, thank you. For standing up for him, for standing up for my friends. _Your_ friends. I really appreciate it.”

Kei just stares at the gentle curve of Tetsurou’s mouth, in awe. He knows he shouldn’t be staring, he knows he should stop, but he can’t. Not until Tetsurou’s smile drops and his brow furrows marginally.

“Are you—?”

Tetsurou’s mouth snaps closed and his brown eyes search Kei’s face for a moment. He seems to decide against asking, sitting back and looking down at the books on the bed between them. A relief considering the direction the question was heading.

_Are you gay?_

It hangs heavily in the air between them and makes Kei clench his jaw, swallowing down the uncomfortable feeling in his throat. Tetsurou likely already suspects, already knows probably, but they can’t discuss it, Kei can’t—

“So, we getting Freckles and Sparkles together or what?” Tetsurou questions, characteristic mischievous grin spread across his face.

Kei relaxes, probably visibly, and removes his headphones from around his neck, setting them down on his bed.

“Tadashi thinks Hitoka doesn’t like him that way, that she likes Shouyou, and I don’t really know either of them enough to dispute it.”

Tetsurou laughs heartily. “Nah dude, Freckles and Sparkles have been in love with each other since, like, freshman year. They’re just all shy and adorable. Watching them over the last two years has been both painful and sweet.”

“Sounds like Tadashi,” Kei remarks under his breath.

“Besides, the Shrimp clearly has big heart eyes for Ken after what we saw tonight. We might need to help with that one too. God knows Ken will never do anything about his epic love at first sight. So…” Tetsurou rubs his hands together, his grin turning into something wicked. “Let’s shove these lovebirds into a closet.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea,” he deadpans.

“I didn’t mean _literally_! Although…”

“No.”

“Fine,” Tetsurou grumbles. “Sparkles’ birthday party is on the weekend, that’s our opportunity to strike!”

“You make it sound like we’re on a mission to assassinate them.”

“A mission to _sexassinate_ them maybe,” he grins, so very proud of himself.

Kei blinks, completely unimpressed. “Why the fuck do people think you’re cool…?”

Tetsurou wiggles his eyebrows. “Manipulation.”


	6. Starry Eyed

The rest of the week had continued on with Nekodani High being petty bully central, the only difference being that Keiji and Koutarou are no longer affected. Kei knows it’ll take time to fade away from the forefront of everyone’s mind, but they’re all content ignoring it for now. The basketball team continue to throw the idiotic teenagers off with misinformation, to the point that it’s become more humorous than hurtful. It’s actually fun watching them eat up the gossip and spread the false rumours like mindless sheep.

Hitoka’s birthday was on Wednesday and the team all wished her a happy birthday. She’s close enough with them that she’s having a party with just the team Saturday night. Tonight.

With Tetsurou’s affirmation of what he calls ‘Freckles and Sparkles mutually oblivious pining’ Kei managed to convince Tadashi to get her a present. A good present. A meaningful present. They’ve been discussing options through the week, most of Kei’s suggestions coming as second hand information from Tetsurou. Not that Tadashi knows that.

He probably suspects as much now though.

Driving Akiteru’s smoky grey Toyota Corolla, Kei pulls into a parking space at the local shopping mall with Tadashi in the passenger seat and Tetsurou’s long legs cramped in the backseat. Tetsurou had invited himself and somehow convinced Kei it was a good idea. _How is he always so damn convincing?_

“So, why is Tetsu with us again?” Tadashi questions, looking pointedly at a grinning Tetsurou as they make their way across the parking lot and into the mall.

“I wanted to help with—”

“His bros ditched him for video games and boyfriends,” Kei interrupts.

“Tsukki!” he whines and Tadashi snickers. Tetsurou sighs. “Yes, fine, my bros deserted me. Kenma is basically holing himself in because Fallout 4 just came out, which means he’s only going to be leaving his house for school and basketball, and probably the chance to see Shrimpy tonight. And Koutarou is probably balls deep in Keiji as we speak.”

Kei clicks his tongue. “Could you be any more vulgar?”

“That sounds like a challenge…”

“It isn’t.”

Tetsurou chuckles and wraps an arm around Kei’s shoulders, which is so wonderfully bad. Whatever aftershave Tetsurou uses should be taken away from him because, mixed with his natural scent – which Kei can only describe as ‘warm’ – it’s intoxicating. Along with the very loose fitting white singlet he’s wearing, mouth-watering broad shoulders set bare upon the world, tight faded denim shorts stretched over muscular thighs and hair its usual attractive mess, it’s all very distracting and… oh so _bad_.

“Alas, soon t’will only be Tsukki and I in the realm of single-dom.”

“And me,” Tadashi adds, his brow furrowing with suspicion as Kei elbows Tetsurou in the ribs.

“He thinks he’s funny,” Kei drawls.

“We should just tell him,” Tetsurou remarks. “Also, I’m hungry so let’s hit the food court first.”

“Tell me what?”

“Didn’t you eat breakfast?” Kei questions, scrunching his face in annoyance and ignoring Tadashi.

Tetsurou sighs. “It’s noon, meaning lunch. See, this is why I can’t trust you with your own diet. You need to eat more. You’re doing too much exercise through the week to skip meals Tsukki. We’re going to get food.”

“Geez, you’re the most overbearing team dad. I miss my old team dad.”

“Tell me _what_?”

“It’s okay Freckles, nothing serious,” Tetsurou grins easily at him, draping an arm across his shoulders, because apparently he can’t walk without being draped over someone. “Food first and then we’ll explain the masterplan!”

Making their way to the food court Tadashi continues to worry away about this ‘masterplan’, which is completely understandable, because coming from Tetsurou it sounds suspicious and creepy. Tetsurou easily chuckles off the questions though, ruffling Tadashi’s hair playfully. Although annoyed by the being ignored Kei notices that Tadashi goes along with Tetsurou’s stupidity rather easily, that they get along. Not surprising really, they’re both friendly and likable, and Tetsurou pushes through Tadashi’s socially nervous barrier effortlessly.

“Go find us a table,” Tetsurou instructs Kei, his shit-eating grin concerning. Kei’s in no mood for argument – he knows he’ll lose to the only person who can out argue him – and does as he’s told, albeit with a scowl. He’s not hungry anyway.

The food court is busy, bustling with people laughing around mouthfuls and chatting about their shopping endeavours. Being tall makes it easy enough for him to simply stand there and spot an empty four seated table nearby. Kei slumps down in one of the chairs and pulls out his phone.

 **[12:27] Me**  
_That game had better be damn good for you to dump Tetsurou on me, he’s annoying._

 **[12:28] Kenma**  
_you’re the one that told him you were going shopping, you’re the one that let him convince you to pick him up_

Kei snorts a laugh, because it’s true. He’s usually selective about the information he gives away to people, but talking to Tetsurou is too easy. Besides, he needs help with this Tadashi and Hitoka plan, Kei’s simply not very good with people and… helping. Tetsurou has already done twice as much with the situation than Kei ever will.

 **[12:30] Me**  
_Yeah, well, you live and you learn. Enjoy your post-apocalyptic fun._

 **[12:31] Kenma**  
_thanks, enjoy your ‘tsk’-fest_

The problem is that he _is_ enjoying it, too much. Kei likes being around Tetsurou and hanging out with him. And that is a problem because he _likes_ Tetsurou; which, apparently, is a thing he is admitting to himself now.

Kei is worrying away at his lip and glaring down at his phone – the screen already gone black – when Tetsurou and Tadashi arrive with trays of food.

“What’s wrong?” Tetsurou asks, because he’s observant and it’s annoying. Really, how long is Kei going to be able to hide his feelings from someone so perceptive?

“Nothing,” Kei lies, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Sitting down beside him, Tetsurou places a tray down in front of him and Kei raises an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

“Why Tsukki, I thought you were smart enough to know food when you saw it.”

Kei rolls his eyes. “I meant, _why_ is it in front of me, smartass?”

“I bought you lunch,” Tetsurou grins brilliantly. “Carbohydrates, high in protein and vitamins and minerals. You _will_ eat it all and you _will_ enjoy it. If you don’t eat it, I will force feed you.”

“He probably will,” Tadashi affirms. “So, what are you telling me?”

Tetsurou watches Kei with a lazy lopsided smirk until he caves and picks up the fork. In the two takeaway containers in front of him are a variety of steamed vegetables and a piece of grilled fish. Luckily he likes fish. As takes a bite he looks over and notices that Tetsurou has the same thing, perhaps it’s his favourite.

Kei shouldn’t read anything into it, there is probably nothing to read into, but Tetsurou _bought him lunch_. That thought warms through Kei’s chest and forces him to stare down at his food, hoping the other two are too distracted by their own food to notice the small smile curling Kei’s mouth as he chews his surprisingly delicious lunch.

“Okay, so, Tsukki and I are going to get you and Hitoka together,” Tetsurou explains, chewing on a carrot and somehow speaking clearly. “Even if we have to lock you in a closet together.”

“For the last time, we are not shoving them in a closet,” Kei huffs while Tadashi splutters helplessly, probably choking on his noodles. “What is your obsession with closets?”

“Wh-what? B-but she—she doesn’t—Hitoka and Shouyou…”

Tetsurou grins broadly. “Don’t be ridiculous, Shrimpy is about as straight as Kou is, that is to say, not at all. And Hitoka likes _you_.”

“H-How do you know that?”

“Because I’ve been watching you two love birds dance around each other awkwardly and adorably for years. And I’ve had enough, I’m putting my foot down!”

Tadashi’s eyes go comically wide and his voice is breathy, because apparently he buys into Testurou’s bullshit.

“What are you going to do…?”

“Initiate masterplan: Get Freckles and Sparkles in an Adorable, Too Pure For This World Relationship!” Tetsurou proclaims loudly. “Because you deserve to be happy together.”

Kei agrees, not with his overly dramatic crap, Tetsurou is alone in that, but with the sentiment. Through the week Kei put in an effort to talk to Hitoka more, to get to know her, and discovered that she’s an incredibly polite, kind and passionate girl. She loves the basketball team, manages people skilfully and is exceptionally intelligent. Kei likes her, and even in the small amount of time he’s spent with them, watching Hitoka and Tadashi so obliviously flirt like they do, offering blushing smiles and warm compliments to each other, he knows they both want to be together. He doesn’t need Tetsurou’s observation skills to see that.

“Hitoka is an amazing girl though, we need to do something special for her. Dude, seriously, I’d be jealous, except you guys are perfect for each other and I want to be cool uncle Tetsurou to your future, undoubtedly beautiful, blonde, freckled children.”

Kei clicks his tongue while Tadashi blushes furiously. “You’re the furthest thing from cool.”

“Don’t worry Tsukki, you’ll be the quirky uncle that teaches them all the important things about dinosaurs,” Tetsurou teases, grinning broadly. Kei works very hard to keep his expression straight. _Of course he noticed the fucking dinosaurs,_ he grumbles to himself. “Don’t be mad Tsukki, it’s adorable; I’ve found your adorable little uncool flaw. You had to have _one_.”

Feeling the blush rising to his face Kei bows his head over his food, pretending to be focussed on his vegetables. Tetsurou said ‘adorable’ twice and suggested that Kei was cool and flawless? They’re vague compliments and Tetsurou compliments everyone, it’s not uncommon or unusual, Kei isn’t special… So why does he feel like there is affection in Tetsurou's words?

“Tsukki knows all the dinosaurs, he was so obsessed with them when he was a kid, he learned everything he could about them,” Tadashi explains with a fond smile, probably happy to focus on something other than his own crush.

“Tadashi!” Kei snaps, his eyes wide.

“Ah, sorry Tsukki!” he smiles guiltily and scratches the back of his head.

Tetsurou is, of course, chuckling merrily. “Okay, okay, save the Tsukki teasing for later. We have serious business to attend to. Have you thought of a present for Sparkles?”

Tadashi winces. “I… N-Not really. I mean I’ve thought of plenty of things but nothing seems good enough for her.”

“Aww,” Tetsurou coos, too delinquent looking for all the ‘adorable’ and cooing. “Hmm, what does she like? What are her hobbies? What does she want to do when she graduates?”

As his best friend explains anything and everything Hitoka Yachi, from her favourite colour to her family situation, Kei doesn’t even attempt to decipher the facts into some perfectly personalised gift – he entrusts this task to Tetsurou. Instead he frowns at the sheer volume of information Tadashi knows about her. How long have they been this close, to know so much, and yet ignore their feelings? It makes an uncomfortable feeling settle in Kei’s stomach at the parallel to his own situation. How long will he have to feel this way – or possibly stronger – about Tetsurou, before it fades?

“So, she likes space…” Tetsurou muses, rubbing at his chin.

“Yes, Hitoka always wanted to be an astronaut and still does. She’s planning on applying—”

“Aha!” Tetsurou calls out triumphantly. “I’ve got it, I have the perfect thing. You’re a genius Freckles!”

“What is—?”

“Tetsurou!”

A redheaded, athletic boy approaches them and Kei recognises him immediately from school, the Captain of the Nekodani soccer team. As he approaches his pale blue eyes roam over Kei and Tadashi, appraising, before moving back to Tetsurou.

“Yo, Spencer, what’s up?” Tetsurou grins, his easy-going, friendly aura switched to high beam.

“Hey man, I uh, I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you, schools so busy with training and all,” Spencer says, seemingly hesitant to talk. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Yeah, sure, what about?”

Spencer huffs when Tetsurou seems unwilling to leave for privacy. “Look, dude, you have a reputation to uphold, you’re a leader in our school and in your sport. You really shouldn’t be pulling this bullshit, people look up to you and respect you.”

Tetsurou’s heavily furrowed brow probably matches Kei’s, he’s completely lost as to what Spencer is getting at and if Tetsurou doesn’t understand then Kei has no hope. Tetsurou shakes his head in confusion.

“Hah? What are you talking about?”

“You know I don’t have a problem with the homo shit, but that’s not what this is about. You’re a mockery at school and you’re the _Captain_ of the State Champion basketball team, it carries weight. People expect things of you, like, not turning the entire basketball team into a fucking joke. You’re not even gay dude.”

A smile curls Tetsurou’s lips but Kei can see the tension in it. “Didn’t know you were so clued into my personal life Spence.”

Spencer snorts a laugh. “The whole school is, the chicks you hook up with aren’t exactly quiet about it. Just this morning Ana was bragging about fucking you last night.”

Kei’s suddenly unbelievably relieved his hands are in his lap, under the table, because they clench so tightly into fists that his short nails dig into his palm painfully. The jealous reaction is visceral, which doesn’t bode well for the theory that he simply has a little crush on Tetsurou and he’ll get over it soon. _Why him?_ Kei asks himself for the millionth time.

The problem is that there is so much rumour surrounding Tetsurou that it’s difficult to discern whether it’s true or not. Not knowing is hard. Not knowing leads to hope. Hope leads to disappointment.

“I’ve never cared about the sleeping around thing,” Spencer continues, “you’re a decent guy and that’s your own business; it’s not your fault if they wanna talk about it. But bringing your whole team into all this gossip… And trust me, I get it, covering for Keiji and Koutarou’s fuck up with your Olivia Pope tactics, you’re a good friend. But Nekodani is a prominent sporting institution, don’t drag our name through the mud for two dudes who can’t keep it in their pants.”

Carefully watching Tetsurou’s stiff smile, Kei doesn’t even notice the muscles in his forearm taut with tension until Spencer has finished. He’s suddenly very worried Tetsurou is going to punch the guy; not that he doesn’t deserve it, but Tetsurou could get in trouble. So, Kei does something he wouldn’t ordinarily do, he intervenes.

“I’m glad people are noticing our Captain's calculated sass, but Olivia Pope? Tetsurou still has a long way to go to reach her superior level,” Kei remarks, staring Spencer straight in the eyes and smirking.

“Is this part of your homo charade?” Spencer questions, pointing to Kei and Tadashi.

Tetsurou seems more relaxed after Kei’s remarks, grinning broadly as he shrugs. “What can I say, I swing both ways.”

 _I wish,_ Kei thinks.

A nerve in Spencer’s jaw twitches and he leans in closer, his voice low and hissing. “Look, I don’t give a shit what your friends do, but you need to clean up your fucking act Tetsurou. Fuck your smartass blond faggot behind closed doors and keep a lid on it.”

The mischievous smile that was stretching Tetsurou’s mouth drops and his face becomes something utterly terrifying; dark amber eyes burning and strong jaw tensed into a severe line.

“I think you should _leave_ , scrub,” Tetsurou growls, low and threatening.

The redheaded Captain looks about to protest, but takes in Tetsurou’s expression and thinks better of it. Spencer straightens, blue eyes moving to Kei with disdain before he turns on his heel and leaves. Tetsurou watches him until he’s out of sight and then turns back to the table, gazing down at his mostly finished food as his features relax into an expression Kei’s more accustomed to.

“Sorry about that, guys a pretentious prick,” Tetsurou mutters with irritation but smiles as he glances up at Tadashi, who looks nervous, eyes wide with concern. “C’mon, we should get to work before I forget this brilliant idea.”

“O-Okay,” Tadashi nods gathering his tray as he stands.

Kei rises slowly, following after his best friend, a little dazed by the whole encounter. He’s nervous, not about being called a ‘faggot’, long since numb to the pain the word is supposed to inflict, but about being called a ‘faggot’ in front of Tetsurou. Though he’s fairly certain Tetsurou knows at this point – he’s too perceptive not to – Kei’s worried about his reaction. More importantly he _cares_ what Tetsurou _thinks_.

After dumping his tray a large hand grips at his elbow, warm fingers curling over his skin, causing Kei to swallow hard. Tetsurou has never touched him before, not with his hands, not against his bare skin, and yet he _knows_ it is Tetsurou’s hand simply from the warmth and strength of it.

“Tsukki, I’m…” Tetsurou starts, running his fingers through his messy black hair and looking guilty, as Kei turns to face him. “I’m sorry he said that about you, he was just mad at me. You’re not… I mean, it’s okay. And you don’t deserve that shit.”

Kei shakes his head, working hard to keep his churning, confusing emotions from showing. “It’s not your fault, you have nothing to apologise for. And I’m fine.”

“You’re allowed not to be.”

“I know. But I am.”

Tetsurou narrows his eyes on him, undoubtedly discerning the lie, but simply nods. “Okay, let’s go.”

It’s not a lie. At least not at the capacity Tetsurou is concerned about. Kei isn’t fine because Tetsurou just defended him, got pissed off on his behalf, apologised to him, accepted him and told him he deserves better… That’s not something Kei can simply be _fine_ about; his feelings for Tetsurou don’t allow him to be.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Kei is sitting on the ‘husband couch’ surrounded by numerous bags, because apparently he is a pack mule. He’s happy for the distance from his nervous best friend and the overly enthusiastic Tetsurou, the latter had petted him on the cheek and called him a ‘good husband’, which was… Dangerous and nothing Kei’s willing to contemplate further.

Even after a hearty explanation from them, Kei is still uncertain about exactly what this present is. While Tetsurou gave the base idea for the gift, Tadashi extrapolated on it and refined it into something they’re both excited about. Considering what he’s going to be doing tonight, Tadashi should be a nervous wreck, but there is only a minor twinge of panic in his beaming smile. Either he’s distancing himself personally from the project or he’s gotten better at internalising.

“All right, that’s the last of it!” Tetsurou announces as he and Tadashi exit the store with a small bag. Kei goes to pick up all the bags when Tetsurou stops him. “No Tsukki, I was only joking about carrying all the bags. Geez, how cruel do you think I am?”

“It doesn’t seem like the type of helpful thing you would usually do,” Kei deadpans.

“What? I’m always this kind.”

Kei scoffs. “Sure you are.”

Leaving the mall and stuffing all the bags into the car they make their way back to Kei’s. He can’t get over how natural it feels hanging out with Tetsurou, after only knowing him for only three weeks, and Tadashi. It’s fun. Kei’s fairly certain that he’s never met someone he so easily converses with, he actually cares what Tetsurou is saying and even responds, even offers input.

“Hey Tetsurou, good to see you again!” Akiteru greets them as they arrive back at Kei’s, his brother grinning far too brightly to be subtle. “They rope you into shopping?”

“Nah, I volunteered, these two are hopeless and this is an important mission!” Tetsurou chuckles, placing the bags on the small dining table and patting Kei on the back when he clicks his tongue. “Freckles is less hopeless, but needs a good push.”

“How much did you buy?” Akiteru questions, frowning at the array of bags. “How many presents does one girl need? As special as she may be,” he amends, seeing Tadashi’s embarrassed expression.

“They aren’t _all_ gifts, it’s one big gift,” Tadashi asserts, pulling some of the crafting material out. He continues to explain the plan, not for the first time as they’ve already explained it twice to Kei, who is actually, finally, starting to visualise it. It’s fairly simple idea in theory but the craft involved is far less so. It’s going to take a fair bit of preparation.

Tadashi sets to work organising jobs for everyone – even Akiteru offers to help – and their small kitchen table is soon covered in an orderly mess of arts and crafts, surrounded by four boys too big for it. But no one complains, externally at least. Internally Kei’s heart stutters uncomfortably because Tetsurou’s sitting next to him, their elbows bumping in the small space. Akiteru is to blame for this of course, swiftly taking the seat next to Tadashi and grinning meaningfully at Kei, who scowls in return. Thankfully Tetsurou doesn’t see the exchange.

As Kei sits down Akiteru’s cat – a black and white little shit by the name of Tux – jumps up onto Kei’s lap. He’s learned to live with it, he’s had to, the cat seems to think Kei’s lap is his own personal throne and gets very difficult to live with if he’s denied. Tetsurou gasps upon seeing Tux.

“You have a cat!”

“Very observant,” Kei drawls.

“I love cats, I’ve always wanted one but mom’s extremely allergic,” Tetsurou explains, gazing down at the ball of fur with curiosity. “What’s his name? Is he friendly?”

“His name’s Tux and he’s only friendly if you’re Kei, I have the scars to prove it,” Akiteru chuckles, scratching the back of his head. “Kei’s the only person he tolerates really; you can try to pet him, but be careful.”

The warning in Akiteru’s voice doesn’t deter Tetsurou, who confidently reaches out to pet the cat. To Kei’s surprise, Tux doesn’t even flinch as Tetsurou’s hand strokes along the soft black and white fur, in fact he starts purring. Kei looks up to see Tetsurou grinning happily, a genuine smile, lacking it’s usual infuriating mischief and practically purring himself. Then, Kei realises how close they are, Tetsurou leaning into the already tight space on this side of the table and _stroking_ the cat on Kei’s _lap._

Kei glances up to see Akiteru covering his mouth, holding back laughter and Tadashi frowning in confusion. From their side of the table, unable to see the cat in Kei’s lap, it probably looks rather inappropriate.

“W-We better ge—get started,” Kei mutters, almost choking on his words as the tips of Tetsurou’s fingers brush across his stomach.

Tetsurou frowns up at him momentarily, but straightens and with his lazy smirk in place, says, “Sure thing boss.”

A few glances are exchanged between Tadashi and Akiteru but Kei quickly ducks his head to avoid meeting their gazes. Kei hasn’t told Tadashi, he wasn’t planning on needing to, he was planning on his unwelcome attraction for Tetsurou to simply fade away. That doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Akiteru knows, but due to his brothers high workload Kei’s managed to avoid discussing it through the week.

Although he’s actually admitting to himself that the attraction is there, he can still dismiss it as ‘just in his head’. He knows the remaining fragment of ‘it’s nothing’ will be shattered if he talks about it, it will feel _real_. But it will _never_ be real, there will _never_ be anything between him and Tetsurou besides friendship, and Kei will be left a pathetic, pining mess.

“So…” Tetsurou says into their concentrated silence, the word long and drawn out, promising nothing good. “Dinosaurs, huh?”

_Oh, fuck. No, no, no, why?_

Akiteru chuckles. “I assume you saw the dinosaur figurines in Kei’s room. He has many more stored away in the closet.”

“Akiteru, no,” Kei hisses, his cheeks warm with embarrassment.

“Akiteru, _yes_ ,” Tetsurou encourages, his eyes twinkling with mischief and grinning eagerly.

“It’s fine Kei, everyone has hobbies,” he waves off the complaint and turns back to Tetsurou. “I was obsessed with the original Jurassic Park movies, and because of that Kei basically grew up watching them, even though he was so young.”

“You got your dino obsession from your big brother? That’s so cute Tsukki!”

“It’s not cute and I’m not obsessed,” Kei grinds out, keeping his eyes on the work in front of him.

“Tsukki, you dressed up as a dinosaur trick-or-treating _every_ Halloween when we were kids,” Tadashi remarks, shrugging as he receives a death glare.

“Which was rather frightening. Kei grew really quickly and was a tall kid, so seeing a giant dinosaur walking around made a lot of the other children cry. I had to actually apologise to one child’s parents because the kid peed himself and Kei called him ‘pathetic’,” Akiteru tells them, chuckling through the story. At this point Tetsurou is laughing like a hyena – which is possibly the first unattractive thing he’s done – and Tadashi is snickering at the memory.

Kei clicks his tongue. “Robbie Wells, he deserved it too, he _was_ pathetic.”

“He was _four_!”

“Yeah, well, he probably learnt a valuable lesson.”

“Do you have photos?” Tetsurou asks, having somewhat recovered from his laughing fit.

“No!”

“Yes,” Akiteru says, blatantly ignoring Kei. “I’ll go get them.”

Kei drops his head onto an empty space on the table and leaves it there when Akiteru returns. The three of them gather around Akiteru’s tablet, cooing and laughing and sharing stories. Never has Kei wanted to be swallowed by a sink hole so badly.

“You were such a cute kid Tsukki, what happened?” Tetsurou laughs, sitting back down next to Kei.

“It’s already four o’clock,” Kei comments, ignoring them and focussing on his painting. “If we want to get this done in time I suggest we focus.”

“Shit, I promised my mom that I’d hang out with her this afternoon before the party,” Tetsurou winces, standing from his chair. “You guys will be fine with finishing this right?”

Tadashi nods, smiling brightly. “We’ll be fine, Tsukki was exaggerating. Thanks for the help Tetsu!”

“No worries Freckles, I’ll see you guys tonight to set the masterplan into action!”

Tetsurou salutes before strolling out the room and towards the front door, because apparently he’s comfortable enough here, after _one_ previous visit, to let himself out. Tadashi and Akiteru remain quiet until they hear the door click shut.

“Okay, what am I missing?” Tadashi asks, setting what he’s working on down.

“Nothing.”

“Kei, he was flirting with you,” Akiteru says, grinning idiotically.

“ _What?_ ” Tadashi questions, incredibly confused. “T-Tetsu?”

Kei grits his teeth. “No, he wasn’t. I don’t want to talk about it, Aki.”

“Talk about _what?_ Tsukki what the hell is going on?”

“Kei has a crush on Tetsurou,” Akiteru answers, because of course he doesn’t understand the situation, because Kei hasn’t explained the situation, so it’s no surprise when his smile drops at Tadashi troubled expression.

“Tsukki… Y-You can’t, he’s not—”

“I know!” he snaps, finally glancing up from his painting, both of them looking shocked and worried by his outburst. Sucking in a deep breath he gazes down at the flecks of black paint on his fingers. “I know, Tadashi.”

“Now I’m confused,” Akiteru says softly into the tense silence.

“Tetsu’s straight,” Tadashi responds, so quietly it’s almost a whisper.

“B-But he was just… He was flirting with you, he was petting Tux on your lap and wanted to see pictures of you when you were a kid… He called you cute!”

“That’s just how he is,” Kei explains, feeling calmer but no less annoyed by his own senseless emotions. “You don’t know him Aki, ‘adorable’ is practically Tetsurou’s favourite word and he’s just a friendly and flirtatious person. He’s like that with everyone. This is why I didn’t want to talk about it. You’ll try to convince me not to give up, that there is a hidden homo in all of us and that things he does mean he likes me. But he doesn’t and he never will. He’s my friend and my Captain, I need to be able to live with him without ceaseless and futile hope hanging over my head.”

“Kei…”

“No, Aki. No. Can we please just get back to work, if we don’t finish painting soon it really won’t dry in time for tonight.”

Kei can feel his brother’s eyes on him and Tadashi’s furtive glances, both worried, both wanting to reassure him. But there is no reassurance, there is nothing they can say. So they remain quiet and go back to painting.

It hurts. This conversation, as prepared for it as he was, hurt more than he expected. Finally giving voice to all those doubts, and the assured knowledge that Tetsurou will never look at him the way he wants, it hurts more than Kei believed it would. Comprehending this only makes him feel worse, because apparently his feelings for Tetsurou go deeper than he realised.

His stupid, hopeless feelings.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Ken, what’s taking so long?” Tetsurou questions, entering his best friend’s house after receiving no responses to his ‘hurry the fuck up’ texts. “I swear to God if your still lost in Fallout with your earphones on I’m going to—”

He’s drawn up short by the sight of Kenma huddled on the floor in front of his wardrobe, surrounded by a mangled mess of clothes and staring into the wardrobe as if it has the answers to the world. It almost looks as if he’s worried about what to wear. Kenma. Worried about clothing. It can’t be though, because those are two things that don’t exist in the same sentence.

“Ken…” Tetsurou says, slowly approaching. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go,” he mumbles, barely opening his mouth to speak.

“What? Why?”

Kenma looks up at him, anxiety etched into his boyish features, his eyes wide and a small crease between his brows. Tetsurou hasn’t had to help with Kenma’s social anxiety for a few years now. Thankfully though this seems to be a rather minor case.

“Shit, you really like Shrimpy don’t you?” Tetsurou asks when Kenma doesn’t respond.

“I don’t,” he mutters, petulantly looking the other way.

“Okay, no, we’re not doing this. Disregarding your feelings for him—Ah, ah, don’t,” Tetsurou warns as Kenma goes to interject. “Shouyou is your _friend_ and he expects you to be there, so you’re _going_. It’s as simple as that. Also, he doesn’t care what you wear, he’s the least materialistic person ever. Here.”

Picking up an orange Star Wars t-shirt and a black cardigan from the floor and his brown pants from his drawers, Tetsurou throws them onto the bed. Ordering Kenma to get changed in his unquestionable Captain voice, he walks out of the room and closes the door behind him.

Since exchanging mobile numbers, Kenma and Shouyou have been messaging each other non-stop all week – when not in each other’s presence at school or practice. Tetsurou is good at reading people and he’s almost certain Shouyou is borderline infatuated with Kenma. And of course, Kenma, with his low self-esteem, is completely in denial about it.

Tetsurou loves his friends but the amount of meddling he has to do to help their hopeless, oblivious asses is ridiculous.

 **[8:03] KouBro** – bro where r u? lets fkn rage already  
**[8:07] Tetsu** – soz bro wont be much longer  
**[8:07] KouBro** – whatcha do? choose tonight to try to tame ur hair?  
**[8:07] Tetsu** – lol somethin like that  
**[8:08] Keiji** – Tetsurou please get here soon so I can be free from the buffoon  
**[8:08] KouBro** – keijiiiiiiii so mean! im not a baboon  
**[8:08] Tetsu** – you chose to shackle urself to that BUFFoon so its all on you my friend :D  
**[8:08] KouBro** – nice one bro!!!!!!! *flex*

Chuckling to himself Tetsurou looks up from his phone and Kenma is standing at his doorway, dressed, but his shoulders are more slumped than usual and he looks nervous. It’s as uncomfortable as seeing Keiji upset but this, unfortunately, Tetsurou is accustomed to.

Words carry very little weight with Kenma. It doesn’t matter how rationally Tetsurou explains or how much Kenma understands that nothing is ever as bad as it seems, his anxiety doesn’t fade until he’s in the situation and experiences how _okay_ he is. Knowing this, Tetsurou remains silent as they make their way to Hitoka’s.

Kenma is standing behind Tetsurou, fiddling with the cuff of his cardigan, when Koutarou opens the door to welcome them to… Not his house.

“Dude, it’s starting to get creepy that at every friends’ house I arrive at, you’re the one that opens the door,” Tetsurou comments, pulling Kenma along as he enters.

“My friend’s casa is my casa, right?” Koutarou chuckles, slapping Tetsurou on the shoulder and shutting the door behind them. “Tsukki and Dashi didn’t come with you?”

“Nah, they’re not here yet?”

His friend shakes his head vigorously as they make their way inside. Perhaps Kei and Tadashi had problems with assembling the masterplan’s present, Tetsurou hopes it’s nothing major. If they take much longer he’ll have to call and check on them.

“There she is,” Tetsurou calls as they enter the kitchen and find Hitoka talking to Keiji. “The birthday girl!”

Hitoka giggles as Tetsurou lifts her into a giant bear hug. “N-Not technically my birthday anymore Tetsu.”

“Psh, your tiara says differently.”

Setting her back on her feet, Hitoka automatically reaches to adjust the glittery, starry ‘Birthday Girl’ tiara set in her braided, long blonde hair. She looks gorgeous, Tadashi’s going to freak out… Which, might be bad. Tetsurou doesn’t even have to ask to know that Hitoka didn’t get herself the tiara, doesn’t even have to guess at who bought it for her, he just _knows_.

“How pretty is it!” Koutarou gushes, his grin so broad it looks like it hurts. “I saw it when we went looking for her birthday present and I _had_ to get it for Princess Sparkles!”

“Beautiful bro, sign me up for one on my birthday,” Tetsurou comments.

“Try to put that thing in your hair and it will never come out again,” Keiji deadpans.

“Oi!”

“Kenma, you look so handsome!” Hitoka says, pulling him into a hug. If there is anyone angelic enough to make Kenma visibly relax, even when blushing, it’s Hitoka. She helped Kenma a lot with his anxiety when they started at high school together, experiencing it herself and being an incredible support for him. In that first year, knowing that Kenma had Hitoka, Tadashi, Morisuke and Keiji, was a great relief to Tetsurou.

“Thank you Hitoka, happy birthday,” Kenma mumbles, his arms lifting to gently return the embrace.

“You do look adorable today Ken!” Koutarou adds, and Tetsurou kind of wishes he hadn’t because it’s one complement too many and Kenma glares at him suspiciously.

“Did you do this?”

“I didn’t do anything except dress you so _impeccably_ that all your friends notice. Seriously, you should let me choose your clothes all the time,” Tetsurou smirks at him then turns to Hitoka. “Where are the others?”

“Mori, Akinori and Tatsuki are outside barbequing and Lev is—”

“Kenma!” Shouyou yells, running in from the living room. Kenma’s eyes widen at the sound of his name but he composes his expression before turning to Shouyou, who immediately grasps his wrist. “Thank God you’re here! We’re watching the Bulls play and Lev disagrees that—”

“Lev is always wrong,” Kenma states.

Shouyou’s irritated expression bursts into a radiating grin that’s practically blinding. The kid’s so expressive it’s impossible not to notice that he’s head over heels for Kenma, who’s returning small, awed smile confirms the feeling is mutual. It’s adorable. But annoying. _Oh so oblivious._

“You’re watching basketball at Hitoka’s birthday party?” Tetsurou questions, because Kenma is starting to turn pink being in the centre of attention.

“Of course, Kou put it on,” Shouyou answers, tilting his head like he doesn’t understand Tetsurou’s incredulity. “C’mon Kenma, I need you to back me up against Lev!”

Without hesitation Shouyou pulls an uncharacteristically pliant Kenma out of the room.

Tetsurou clutches at his chest dramatically. “Ah, they grow up so fast.”

“What?” Koutarou questions, cocking his head like a bird, confused.

Thankfully the doorbell rings and he’s saved from making up an excuse for his dramatics. Koutarou, of course, snaps his head up at the sound, face alight with renewed excitement, and goes to answer the door before Tetsurou pulls him back by his collar.

“No, you put that damn basketball game on, so you need to make sure those idiots don’t get into a ridiculous argument. If Lev is being annoying call Mori,” Tetsurou commands, it’s a fairly lame excuse for letting, what is likely Kei and Tadashi in himself, but it works. No one questions him if he uses the right tone. “I’ll get the door.”

It’s no surprise to find Kei and Tadashi standing there, the former with his perpetual bored expression in place and the latter looking ridiculously nervous – and Tetsurou had thought Kenma was bad. What is a surprise is how _well_ Kei is dressed. It’s a new experience to see the blond in anything but his school uniform or basketball clothes, but today he’s seen him in two everyday outfits and can’t help but notice.

Kei holds himself well, with impeccable posture, so maybe that’s why Tetsurou expected him to dress like some preppy kid, but he doesn’t, Kei dresses unexpectedly casually. He’s wearing bright red jeans that draw a ridiculous amount of attention to his long legs, a black and white raglan t-shirt and black chucks. He looks cool.

“Geez, why you guys so late?” Tetsurou questions.

“We had paint problems,” Kei drawls, entering as Tetsurou makes way for them.

“I assume everything’s okay though? In the car, safe and waiting for go-time?”

“Y-Yes, everything is ready,” Tadashi stutters an answer, always nicely dressed, in dark jeans and a pale blue sweater. “When is it best to…? When should we…?”

Tetsurou chuckles and slings an arm across Tadashi’s shoulders. “Hang in their Freckles, we’ll give at least an hour of eating and socialising before we even get ready, we need to calm you down first.”

“I don’t think I can eat anything,” Tadashi murmurs, looking pale.

“Socialising first it is. I warn you though, Sparkles is looking beautiful, so prepare yourself Freckles.”

Leading them into the house, keeping his arm around Tadashi for support, they enter the kitchen where Hitoka and Keiji are still talking. This time Tetsurou notices them watching over food cooking in the oven, which makes sense.

“Hey, you guys came,” Hitoka smiles warmly, her cheeks growing pink as her honey brown eyes land on Tadashi. Who is frozen, and staring… _Oh shit._

“We got held up helping my brother with the fridge,” Kei speaks up, saving his friend. It’s even a convincing lie, the way the words roll off his tongue with a hint of annoyance make it sound genuine. Tetsurou’s fairly certain that’s just Kei’s voice, but is impressed nonetheless. “Happy birthday Hitoka.”

“Oh, thank you Kei,” she says, taking the small pink wrapped present from him – that Tetsurou chose – and hugging him. It’s awkward because of their height difference but even more awkward because Kei looks so stiff and uncomfortable – at least Lev returns the hugs, with gusto. Kei is clearly not a hugger, which is weird because Akiteru seems like one.

“H-Happy birthday Hitoka,” Tadashi manages to get out, handing her a small present – to distract from the main event – and actually _hugging_ her himself. It’s short as they both seem to be nervous about it and the silence that follows is… _Jesus_ —

“Okay, let’s go see if Shrimpy and Lev have killed each other yet. Throwing Kou at them was probably a bad idea, like throwing fuel onto a fire,” Tetsurou laughs – a little forced, he’ll admit – and pulls Tadashi out of the room.

This may not be as simple as he thought.

 

* * *

 

An hour and a half later and Tadashi has finally calmed down. Kei has mostly been running interference between Tadashi and Hitoka, and actually doing an exceedingly good job of it. Thankfully, because Tetsurou has been left with the task of making sure Koutarou, Shouyou and Lev don’t destroy everything in sight. It’s fortunate they seem to be in a less destructive mood tonight, because Tetsurou is distracted.

The encounter with Spencer at lunch has been on Tetsurou’s mind all day. It pissed him off, and continues to affect him more than he’d like. People can say whatever they want about Tetsurou – hell, they practically already do, even girls he’s involved with and it doesn’t even register – but as soon as someone says something about his friends, he sees red. Not only had Spencer suggested horrible things about Keiji and Koutarou but he called Kei a ‘faggot’ right in front of him... Honestly it was miraculous Tetsurou didn’t hit the fucker.

Tetsurou’s known about Kei’s sexuality since he stood up for Keiji, but it’s not like it changes anything, it’s not like it changes who Kei is. He’s Kei. Snarky, guarded, funny and surprisingly hardworking Kei. He doesn’t deserve assholes calling him such horrible things. And yet he didn’t even flinch, like he’s used to the word. It worries Tetsurou. It reminds him of Hitoka telling him about Kei’s ‘personal problems’ and his ‘bad year’.

He’s drawn from his thoughts when Kei approaches him, gold eyes flickering to Tetsurou’s chest, and not for the first time.

“You checking me out Tsukki?” Tetsurou jokes as a way to draw himself from his distressing thoughts. He says teasing things like this to Koutarou all the time, but immediately feels awkward saying it to Kei. They probably haven’t been friends long enough for homosexual attraction humour.

Kei only hesitates a moment before clicking his tongue in annoyance. “No, you conceited douche, I was wondering how many ridiculous cat print t-shirts you have. Though that one suits you,” he adds with a smirk.

Tetsurou remembers the ‘OCD: Obsessive Cat Disorder’ t-shirt he was wearing through the day. The mocking in Kei’s tone makes him frowns and then look down at his t-shirt. Printed on his chest is a cartoon of a laptop and an angry looking cat in front of it, the text underneath reads ‘You aren’t paying attention to me. This is unacceptable.’

“Wow, rude.”

“You just asked if I was checking you out,” Kei points out, a blond eyebrow raised.

“Touché,” Tetsurou concedes, grinning. “And to answer your question I own _a lot_ of ridiculous cat print t-shirts, I kinda collect them. Something to look forward to.”

“Uh-huh… We should start on the ‘masterplan’ or we’ll run out of time.”

“Roger that, you and Tadashi have to go get it all set up whilst I distract our birthday girl… The question is, with what…”

“Don’t know, that’s your job,” Kei drawls and turns to leave. “Good luck.”

Tetsurou sets his attention on the room for the first time in a while. Shouyou and Koutarou are deep in another argument with Lev about basketball and Kenma is sitting near them looking rather dejected by the topic, and probably his lack of PSP to entertain him. Which makes a lightbulb brighten above Tetsurou’s head.

Just after Tadashi dismisses himself from the conversation with Hitoka, Tetsurou approaches her, glad they’re finally conversing easily.

“Hey, Sparkles, havin’ fun?”

Hitoka smiles brightly. “Of course, I love hanging out with you guys!”

“That’s what I like to hear! Do you have a gaming console? As much as I love basketball these idiots talk about it too much. And Ken needs something more his speed,” Tetsurou remarks, nodding at the couch of their loud friends. Hitoka glances over and a knowing smile brightens her face; she spends more time with Kenma and Shouyou than Tetsurou, so it’s no surprise she’s noticed.

“Ah, yeah, I think we have a Wii somewhere.”

“Where?” Tetsurou asks, possibly a little too abruptly, but he’s worried about it being in her room, aka where Kei and Tadashi are currently preparing her present.

“I think it’s set up in the front living room.”

“Perfect.”

Somehow Tetsurou manages to extricate Shouyou from the argument, probably with the fact that Kenma is coming too, and the three of them follow after the tiny blonde birthday girl. Kenma’s scowling at him suspiciously and Shouyou looks excited and curious, though that’s how he always looks.

When Hitoka turns on the console and they sit on the sofa, Shouyou cheers, enthusing to Kenma how much he loves Mario Kart and bragging about how good he is and how he plays with his little sister all the time. Kenma is smiling, a sparkle in his eye, as he listens attentively to Shouyou, that Tetsurou has never seen before.

Hitoka goes to leave once finished setting it up but Tetsurou stops her.

“Nah ah, no way, you’re racing with us Sparkles!”

A competitive light shines in Hitoka’s eyes as she accepts the controller Tetsurou offers and they all sit down to play.

It’s a lot of fun, and Shouyou is swiftly, unabashedly, gushing over Kenma’s skill. The redhead is using a whole lot of sounds to describe Kenma’s amazingness that don’t particularly make sense, but Kenma is blushing and smiling, as broadly as Tetsurou has ever seen, anyway. It’s so fun, in fact, that they all lose track of time, and how many games they’ve played.

Due to their competitive shouting, Koutarou bursts into the room and demands a go and Tetsurou remembers, with a start, the masterplan. He’s supposed to go check on Kei and Tadashi, so he offers his controller to Koutarou.

“And be careful of Sparkles, she fronts angelic innocence but is a demon with those damn shells!” Tetsurou chuckles and waits for another race to begin before carefully backing out of the room.

They’ve all known each other two years or longer, they’ve spent numerous birthdays and parties and summers at each other’s houses, so Tetsurou knows the layout of Hitoka’s house. He races up the stairs and bursts into her room, probably a little too forcefully considering the way Tadashi practically jumps out of his skin, looking nervous again.

“It’s just me, how’s it going?”

“We’re finished,” Kei responds.

Tetsurou gazes up at the various sized, polystyrene orbs hanging from the ceiling, painted as the planets in the solar system and surrounding the low hanging, round light in the centre of the ceiling, as the sun. It looks good, better than he expected. While the initial idea of ‘bringing space to Sparkles’ was Tetsurou’s idea, all of this, the detailed design and execution, are all Tadashi.

Hitoka is going to love it.

“Holy shit, it looks awesome!” Tetsurou enthuses, walking about the room and reaching out to touch the plants hovering just above his head. “Dude, she’s gonna flip! You ready to go Freckles?”

“I-I guess.”

The tension in his voice makes Tetsurou glance at Tadashi, who looks ill again. Taking Tadashi’s shoulders, he levels an earnest expression at him and smiles comfortingly.

“Tadashi, it’ll be great, I _promise_ ,” Tetsurou reassures him.

Swallowing hard, Tadashi makes his way to the door, taking in a deep breath before opening it.

“Oh, and don’t say something like ‘I’ve got a present for you in your room’, sounds creepy.”

“Then what do I say?”

“Er, yeah, not much way around the creepy…” Tetsurou mumbles, scratching at his chin thoughtfully. “Tell her that… Okay, you’re gonna have to go with the truth, say you set up a solar system in her room. Sounds silly enough to make her more curious than creeped out.”

Tadashi nods. “R-Right. Oh and check the stars when I go.”

When he closes the door Tetsurou glances back at Kei. “Shit, do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Only one way to find out,” he shrugs, eyes focussed on the planets. “Turn the lights off.”

Tetsurou lets out a nervous breath of his own as his finger hovers over the light switch. While the planets and solar system are cool they’re nothing if this doesn’t work. Closing his eyes he flicks the switch off. Kei doesn’t make a sound, gives no helpful inclination that it works, so Tetsurou slowly opens his eyes and a smile immediately stretches his lips.

Covering the walls and ceiling are hundreds of glow in the dark stars. They’re bright and illuminate the room. Tetsurou’s eyes roam over the ceiling, even spotting some constellations in them, until he looks at Kei. Who is staring at him? Or, it seems that way. It’s difficult to tell with the starry reflection across Kei’s black-rimmed glasses. Tetsurou lets out a shaky breath, because even if he can’t _see_ it, he can _feel_ Kei’s intense gaze on him.

“Thank you,” Kei says sincerely. “For helping, for caring.”

Swallowing hard Tetsurou gives him a small smile. “Freckles and Sparkles are my friends, of course I care about them.”

“Just because they’re a part of your life,” he speaks slowly, voice thick with emotion, “doesn’t mean you have to care about them.”

The smile drops off Tetsurou’s face and he feels something tug painfully at his heart.

Before he can say anything, before he can ask - _what happened last year, Kei?_ \- Tetsurou hears someone walking up the stairs. Mumbling a curse, Tetsurou grips Kei’s wrist and pulls him quickly out of the room and into the small bathroom next door. He barely gets the door closed before he hears footsteps pass by.

Listening carefully, Tetsurou hears Hitoka’s sharp intake of breath as Tadashi opens the door for her and she whispers an awed ‘oh my God’. Tetsurou smiles when he hears her say how beautiful it is before the door closes and the voices get muffled. And then he’s suddenly aware of the fact that he’s eavesdropping from a bathroom.

“Mission successful!” Tetsurou whispers, pumping his fist and grinning back at Kei, who’s smiling warmly. “Wanna go play Mario Kart?”

Kei nods. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “What is your obsession with closets?” Yes Tetsurou, tell me, what _is_ your obsession with closets? Maybe _you_ should come out of yours! :3 I am so _not_ subtle.


	7. Gross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the “Mature” rating.
> 
> Amazing [BokuAka](http://luheichou13.tumblr.com/post/144574265959/for-the-amazing-writer-sarolonde-inspired-by-her) and [KuroTsuki](http://luheichou13.tumblr.com/post/145107865149/inspired-by-the-amazing-writer-sarolonde-a-scene) art for this chapter by [luheichou](http://luheichou13.tumblr.com/)!

Keiji opens his eyes before his alarm starts chirping unpleasantly, schedule such a constant in his life that he only really keeps an alarm as a precaution. Turning it off he notices the date on his lock screen – a picture of Koutarou kissing his cheek – that reminds him that it’s his boyfriend’s birthday. Not that Keiji needs reminding, Koutarou has been enthusing about it since Hitoka’s birthday two weeks ago.

Sitting up, Keiji rubs at his sleep blurry eyes and crawls out of bed. Before his butt can leave the mattress though his phone starts ringing. He frowns down at the annoyed looking picture of Kei that Koutarou had managed to snap, wondering why he’s calling this early.

Since Kei stood up for Keiji in class they’ve been closer and in the last week they’ve started working together on strategy at basketball practice, getting along effortlessly. Tetsurou is intelligent and playing with him is easy but he tends to play basketball more instinctively, strategizing with him isn’t ideal. But Kei thinks the same way Keiji does, evaluating and meticulous, it’s refreshing to be able to so simply discuss theories and tactics with someone.

“Good morning Kei,” Keiji answers the phone, voice smooth and clear as if he hadn’t just woken up.

“ _Your boyfriend is planning on kid-napping you_ ,” Kei says without greeting.

“What?”

“ _Tetsurou let slip after practice last night that Koutarou is planning on ditching school today and taking you with him for his birthday. I figured you’d want to know before he shows up at your house and doesn’t take you to school_ ,” Kei explains plainly.

It sounds harsh, for Kei to ruin Koutarou’s surprise like this, but to Keiji it’s actually a great comfort. Keiji doesn’t like surprises, he likes to be organised and know what he’s walking into. Which is why it was a surprise to people who really knew him when he started a relationship with the epitome of spontaneity, Koutarou. But Keiji’s learned, after being friends with Koutarou and Tetsurou for two years, that sometimes doing things impulsively can be fun. Not, however, in this case.

Keiji sighs resignedly. “Yeah, I figured he had something planned. Thank you for telling me, Kei.”

“ _You’re welcome, I would have hated not knowing. Honestly, it’s a wonder they managed to keep it from you_.”

“Koutarou isn’t always as transparent as we think. Tetsurou is condoning skipping school?”

Kei snorts. “ _He’s fine with it as long as you’re both back for practice after school. Are you going to do it_?”

Keiji hums thoughtfully, sweeping his fingers through his dark, sleep messy hair. “I probably should, I think he’s feeling underappreciated with all the time I’ve been spending talking basketball with you, even if he hasn’t outwardly complained yet. Did you see Tadashi and Hitoka yesterday during training?”

“ _You mean blushing and avoiding each other like the plague? Yeah I saw_.”

“They’re together right? I mean, since her birthday they’re officially together?”

“ _Technically_ ,” Kei says, taking a deep breath. “ _They’re still getting used to it, apparently_.”

Thinking back to when he and Koutarou got together over summer break he didn’t remember it being anything like that. He remembered lots of affection, cuddling, kissing and far too much public touching. Tetsurou had dubbed them The PDA Nightmare.

“What is there to get used to?” Keiji questions, confused. “Koutarou and I never went through that.”

Kei huffs a laugh. “ _Neither of you are exactly shy. They’ll be okay, Tetsurou thinks it’s ‘adorable’_.”

“Of course he does. Anyway, thank you again, I’ll see you at practice.”

“ _See you then. Have fun,_ ” Kei responds and ends the call.

Setting the phone down on his bed Keiji sighs and runs a hand down his face. He had planned to celebrate Koutarou’s birthday tonight, after practice. He was going to make dinner since neither of his parents are going to be home, but this throws him off a bit. If they celebrate through the day is it too much for Keiji to cook dinner for Koutarou? Is it too domestic? Too soon? They’ve only been together three months.

Sometimes Keiji worries they’re moving too fast. Before the barrier Keiji and Koutarou were forced to put between them, to keep their relationship a secret, Tetsurou often joked that they were practically married. Koutarou’s an affectionate person, always has been, so it seems only natural for them to be so overtly physical with each other. But Keiji worries that it’ll be damaging to their relationship in the future.

After showering and getting dressed casually, into his grey skinny jeans and a blue and white stripped, long sleaved t-shirt, Keiji hears his phone chime. Picking it up off his bed, while still rubbing at his damp hair with a towel, he sees a notification for their group chat.

 **[07:27] Tetsu** – hb bro!!! have a fun day ;D  
**[07:28] Keiji** – subtle, I already know Tetsurou, you can stop being coy  
**[07:29] Tetsu** – omg tsukki!!!!!!!!! ima kill him -.-  
**[07:29] Kenma** – you’re the one that told him  
**[07:29] Tetsu** – you lil traitor! now kou’s gonna kill ME!  
**[07:29] Kenma** – good, it’s your fault  
**[07:30] Tetsu** – also, friendly reminder, no penetration before practice!  
**[07:30] Keiji** – …  
**[07:30] Kenma** – …  
**[07:30] Mori** – …  
**[07:30] Lev** – so bossy  
**[07:30] Tetsu** – ur ass will thank me! u kno, if it could talk… which i guess it sorta can…

Huffing a fond sigh Keiji locks his screen. Initially it was a rather big surprise that Tetsurou and Kei got along as well as they did. Tetsurou gets along well with everyone, being the overly friendly and sociable person he is, but Keiji had suspected that Kei would get frustrated with his dramatics and humour, like Keiji sometimes does. That didn’t happen though, not really, Kei plays at exasperated but clearly enjoys Tetsurou’s company.

In Kei’s company is actually the most natural and relaxed Keiji has ever seen Tetsurou. The Captain is socially adaptive, the fact that Kenma and Koutarou are his two best friends is proof of this. He moulds his personality to suit the person he’s talking to, but with Kei, Tetsurou doesn’t seem to do that. They seem comfortable together.

Their newfound friendship couldn’t have come at a better time. Koutarou’s been spending less time with Tetsurou – which he would _never_ complain about – and Kenma, ever the homebody, has even taken a liking to Shouyou, drawing his attention away. If not for Kei, Keiji would be rather worried about Tetsurou in this, the final and most important year of his school life.

Keiji pulls his shoes on just before the doorbell rings. Koutarou hasn’t checked the group chat and therefore doesn’t know that Keiji knows, his blindingly bright grin when Keiji opens the door confirming the fact.

Koutarou is, unsurprisingly, not in his uniform, but wearing black shorts that hug his muscled thighs sinfully and his favourite dark green owl t-shirt – ‘owl you need is love’ – under his red tartan flannel shirt. He tends to dress a little awkwardly, with mismatched colours and patterns, but somehow it works. He always looks incredibly handsome.

“Mornin’ babe,” Koutarou greets him, immediately moving forward to embrace Keiji and plant a wet kiss on his cheek. “Wait, why are you in casual clothes? _Hot_ casual clothes…”

“Because I know, Koutarou. You don’t—”

“ _What_?” Koutarou screeches, outraged. “It was supposed to be a surprise! It was Tetsu wasn’t it? I’m gonna _kill_ him!”

Keiji sighs, taking his hand to calm him. “No, no one is killing anyone. You know I don’t like surprises, especially if they involve skipping school. Also, it’s _your_ birthday, what if I had a surprised planned for your today?”

“Oh… I didn’t think about that,” his face drops and he instantly looks saddened by the prospect. “Oh my _God_ , I’m so sorry Keiji! I’m the _worst_! I ruined your surprise! I just wanted to spend a day with you, alone, like we used to over summer break.”

“I didn’t say—You didn’t ruin anything. Let’s go have a good day,” Keiji smiles reassuringly and runs his thumb across Koutarou’s knuckles. “Where are we going?”

Koutarou brightens, placing a quick peck against Keiji’s mouth. “It’s a surprise, are you ready to go?”

Nodding, Keiji is pulled out of his house by an eager Koutarou. They get in his car and Keiji notices the – not so subtle – picnic basket sitting in the backseat. He smiles to himself but makes sure that Koutarou doesn’t notice him looking.

Koutarou talks about this date that he – with Tetsurou’s help – had been planning all week, how excited he’s been about it and how he’s barely been able to refrain from discussing it with Keiji every day.

“You could have told me, I would have liked to help plan it with you,” Keiji remarks. The silence following draws his attention from the window. Koutarou looks sad again and Keiji is about to say something nice to make him feel better when he smiles.

“Next time,” Koutarou says, turning to meet his gaze as they’re stopped at a light. Their hands are connected over the centre console – a habit Koutarou’s picked up recently – and Keiji squeezes in return.

“Next time,” he agrees. “But no more skipping classes, you’re struggling enough as it is.”

“But Keijiiiii!”

“No Koutarou, you’re smart, you just need to pay more attention.”

Koutarou concedes, sigh heavily but nodding. Not many people know this about Koutarou but he’s somewhat of a mathematic genius. He can calculate numbers like a machine but that doesn’t always translate into good grades, especially because he gets twitchy sitting for too long and doesn’t put in the effort. As one of the most dedicated academics Keiji’s met, Tetsurou is a big help for Koutarou, putting in effort beyond the call of friendship to study and assist his best friend, especially in the subjects he’s less natural with.

The drive is fairly long but Keiji doesn’t question it, he trusts his boyfriend. Koutarou must have been very selective of their birthday date location and as they pull up to a park Keiji understands why. It’s small and fairly isolated – especially at nine thirty in the morning when most people are at school or work – but it’s absolutely stunning. The park has sprawling lush green lawn, scattered with tall evergreens and sectioned with shrubs of bright scarlet and yellow and magenta flowers.

Keiji gets out of the car slowly, his eyes wide on the delightful sight before him. A warm hand slides into his as he’s just standing there staring and, in his peripheral, he can see Koutarou grinning at him.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing,” Keiji breathes.

“You didn’t eat breakfast, did you?”

“No.”

“Good, that would have been awkward,” Koutarou chuckles and pulls Keiji forward, the picnic basket over his shoulder. “C’mon.”

“You made breakfast?” Keiji questions, sceptical and possibly a little afraid, like most teenage boys with big families and over bearing mothers who spoon feed them every meal, Koutarou isn’t exactly the most capable cook.

Koutarou’s cheeks flush and he scratches the back of his neck. “Just some bacon and egg muffins, my specialty. I promise I didn’t burn them this time!”

Walking into the park, hand in hand, Koutarou continues on, describing in great detail his cooking process to assure Keiji. He smiles at his doting boyfriend, even if they were burnt he would eat them. Koutarou made them for _him_ and that, alone, means the world to Keiji.

Spreading a blanket on the grass, they sit in a nook of shrubs, mostly hidden from view. Keiji picks a flower from a nearby bush, narrowly avoiding a bee in the process, it’s too beautiful not to pick though. A golden yellow centre, the same colour as Koutarou’s eyes, is surrounded by strikingly contrasting rich purple petals.

Sitting beside Koutarou, whose tongue is hanging out as he unpacks the picnic basket, Keiji holds the flower out to him.

“Happy Birthday Koutarou.”

Gold eyes flicker to him and then down at the flower. Koutarou immediately lights up but draws up short as he reaches for the flower, his brow crinkling with uncertainty.

“I… Thank you Keiji, but I’ll probably just break it, you should hold onto it,” Koutarou mumbles, clearly frustrated with himself. Keiji glances down at it. He’s right, it’s a delicate thing, made of soft petals that are certainly capable of being damaged, especially by someone as clumsy as Koutarou.

Keiji smiles softly, meeting Koutarou’s gaze. “I think it’ll be okay, it’s tougher than it looks. I trust you.”

Cautiously Koutarou reaches out and accepts the flower, his large hand gripping the stem as if it were made of glass. A smile stretches across his face as he gazes down at the flower.

“It’s beautiful,” Koutarou murmurs, fingers grazing over the velvet soft, purple petals. “Wait, is this supposed to be a metaphor for, like, offering me your _flower_ …? Because we’ve already… you know.”

Keiji sighs. “Yes Koutarou, I know what you mean, I was there remember?”

“Hells yes I remember, it was awesome!”

“And no, it’s just a pretty flower. Considering I didn’t actually get you a physical present… I was going to give you your present after practice.”

Koutarou’s eyes widen with excitement. “Is it your dick wrapped in a bow?!”

Feeling his cheeks heat with the thought – and under the hunger of Koutarou’s gaze – Keiji attempts to change the subject. “Koutarou, food.”

“Oh my God, _yes babe!_ Can I eat your dick?”

“No,” Keiji grinds out as he ignores the arousal warming through his body. “The food, the breakfast that you made.”

“Oh! Right!”

Koutarou’s attention easily moves back to the meal, pulling more packages out of the picnic basket and sorting the feast out between them. Keiji moves around to sit next to Koutarou, leaning against his side in companionable silence as they eat. Or, rather, Keiji eats and Koutarou wolfs down the food like a starving person.

Koutarou obviously finishes first and lies down on the blanket, twirling the flower carefully between his fingers as Keiji finishes his food. Koutarou seems to be lost in thought, winged silver eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“What are you thinking about?” Keiji prompts quietly, leaning over Koutarou after he’s finished eating. Koutarou looks up at him, resting the flower against his broad chest.

“I’m worried about Tetsu.”

“Why?” Keiji asks, frowning.

“This year is _so_ important for him, for his career, for his future. I mean, I’ve practically already been scouted but he hasn’t… And he deserves to be! He’s an amazing basketballer, he’s such a good leader and he’s so smart and perceptive and skilful. He probably deserves to go pro more than I do…” Koutarou trails off thoughtfully. Keiji wants to interrupt and tell him that it’s not true, that they’re both amazing in different ways, but he knows Koutarou knows this. “What if we don’t do well this year? What if we don’t even go to nationals? What if Tetsu doesn’t get scouted?”

Keiji wants to smile because of the caring sentiment of his words, but that probably wouldn’t help the situation. Not many people would know it but underneath his energetic bravado Koutarou is fiercely loyal. He and Tetsurou have been playing together for five years, they’ve developed together as athletes and people. Tetsurou is his best friend and Keiji knows that there is little Koutarou wouldn’t do for him.

“Tetsurou will be fine,” Keiji states simply, confidently, resting his hand on Koutarou’s chest.

“H-How do you know that?”

“Because I know Tetsurou, and so do you. He’s strong and like you said, a competent leader with great ability. The likelihood that he won’t get scouted is extremely low. But, just in case, we should work extra hard to make sure he does, right?”

“Of course I will!”

Keiji smiles, stroking his fingers along the tan skin of Koutarou’s wrist. “Exactly, and with you by his side there is nothing Tetsurou can’t do. We’ll help him, you, me, Kei and Shouyou, the whole team, we’ll do everything to get him to where he deserves to be.”

Koutarou chuckles, which is certainly not the reaction he was expecting. “You spend too much time with Tetsu, you’re starting to sound like him with the big cliché speeches.”

“You need to stop focusing on the end goal,” Keiji continues, ignoring the – probably true – comment. “Just focus on the next game.”

“Right! The next game, which we will totally dominate!” Koutarou enthuses, pumping his fist into the air, the one not holding the flower. “Speaking of which, have you and Tetsu decided whether _you’ll_ be playing against Seijou in the practice match?”

“I probably will be, at least for half, we want to test Kei’s ability to synchronise with me. You and Tetsurou certainly won’t be though.”

“Obviously!” Koutarou grins broadly, proudly. “We need to keep our biggest weapons a secret! Our weapons of mass destruction, because we’re totally going to destroy that arrogant Seijou bastard!”

Keiji huffs a sigh. “Tooru’s fine and you’re really not one to talk Koutarou.”

His face scrunches up with indignation and Keiji can tell he’s about to complain, loudly, so he leans down and forces Koutarou mouth closed with his lips. The indignation and complaint disappear quickly as Koutarou hums contently against his mouth. It’s a slow, sweet kiss, full of warmth and comfort; a gentle sucking of lips and a soft touch of tongues.

They’re on an odd angle so Keiji pulls back. Koutarou is smiling up at him, lacking its usual brightness his smile is softer with affection as he reaches out to gently touch Keiji’s cheek. Koutarou’s never looked at him like this before, like he’s the most important thing in the world, like he’s precious and loved. Keiji’s heart stutters and races in his chest, he tears his gaze away because it’s too much.

Keiji’s eyes float over the picturesque sunlit gardens surrounding them. He finds himself wondering, again, if they’re moving too fast. When they’re together it’s so easy to forget that they haven’t been together for multiple years rather than a few short months. It’s so simple to be with Koutarou. It just makes sense.

What is an appropriate speed in which to move a relationship? Is there such a thing? They’re teenagers, Koutarou, as of today, eighteen and Keiji a few months off seventeen. What is the likelihood their relationship will last? High school sweethearts rarely last, right? And at the rate they’re moving through their honeymoon phase, they’re sure to get tired of each other. Keiji doesn’t want that, he never wants that; he wants to be with Koutarou always. He doesn’t want anyone else, he doesn’t want Koutarou to be with anyone else. Just thinking about it hurts, makes his gut twist painfully and—

“Keiji?”

Hearing Koutarou speak his name draws Keiji from his gloomy musings. Meeting Koutarou’s bright golden eyes makes all the gloom fade away and melts away the ice-cold doubt chilling through his heart. Koutarou is warmth and comfort and heart. Koutarou is everything. Koutarou is…

“I love you,” Keiji says quietly, sincerely, the realisation charging through him like electricity and filling him with conviction.

Koutarou’s eyes widen comically and he sits upright, almost head-butting Keiji in his haste. He stares, silently, as if waiting for Keiji to take it back or expose the joke, but there is no joke. Nerves and doubt worry away inside of Keiji in the silence, but then Koutarou smiles a painfully broad grin.

“Really?” he questions, a nervous edge hidden under his excitement.

Swallowing hard, Keiji nods slowly.

He watches as Koutarou carefully puts his flower inside the picnic basket. Then the world is turned upside down and the air is forced out of his lungs as Koutarou tackles him to the ground. Soft, adoring kisses are pressed over his cheeks and nose and forehead.

“I love you so much Keiji,” Koutarou asserts, emphasising each word with a kiss. Keiji starts giggling as some kisses stray to his ears and neck. “So, so much! You have no idea.”

“I think… I think I have some idea,” Keiji gets out between a peck on his lips.

Lifting himself up on his elbows, Koutarou looks down at him, his eyes bright with happiness. He breathes out a heavy, content sigh and rests his forehead against Keiji’s, gently rubbing their noses together and never breaking eye contact.

“This is the best birthday ever.”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe she made you do that,” Morisuke comments as Kei finally exits his final class for the day. “That insipid cow.”

Kei snorts a laugh, agreeing with the comment. Mrs. Greenwood is by far the worst teacher he’s ever had and just proved it by being the pompons, self-important person she is, keeping Kei after class – Sociology – because his ideas don’t line up with hers.

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Kei says as they make their way to their lockers.

“Of course I did, I got to hear that delightfully ridiculous lecture she just gave you. ‘There is a time and place mister Tsukishima’,” Morisuke imitates her nasally voice. “If a Sociology class isn’t an appropriate time to discuss the repression of minorities then I honestly don’t know what is.

“Yes Mori, but she isn’t a homophobe and the real problem was my tone,” Kei sneers, rolling his eyes. “If saying ‘I’m not a homophobe’ ten times in a discussion isn’t over compensating for your blatant homophobia I don’t know what is.”

“Also how many times can you say ‘cocky’ in a lecture, maybe she wants yours and is trying to convert you,” he says, looking Kei up and down with a good-humoured sparkle in his pale brown eyes. “You are very mature for your age, and have that tall, intelligent and brooding thing going for you.”

Kei raises his eyebrows at Morisuke, his lip twitching into a smirk. “You hitting on me, Mori?”

“Morisuke has his sight set on someone taller,” Keiji states simply, not even looking up from rifling through his locker as they approach.

Kei frowns and watches Morisuke blush. There is only one person on the team taller than him that they know.

“Lev… Really?”

“Dammit Keiji, I told you that in confidence!”

Keiji merely shrugs, focussed on the task at hand. Morisuke opens his own locker and hides his burning face in it, muttering something about ‘oblivious Russian idiots’. Kei would tease him about it but he actually likes Morisuke, he’s easy to talk to and they share opinions on pretty much everything. Except their taste in men apparently. He’ll never understand the appeal of loud, overly eager Lev but he supposes opposites attract. Like Koutarou and Keiji.

Speaking of which, Kei’s eyes lock onto the painfully obvious and sizable hickey on Keiji’s pale neck.

“I see the date went well,” Kei drawls, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.

Keiji sighs wistfully, his arms dropping to his sides as a small smile curls his mouth. “It went… It was perfect.”

Any jokes he’d been contemplating die in his throat as he notices the pure contentment in Keiji’s dark green eyes; the fondness, the love. Kei swallows and looks away, feeling like he’s intruding. He’s glad though, that Keiji and Koutarou got past their hardship and are happy together.

“What’s with that anyway?” Morisuke asks, head still in his locker and clearly not noticing Keiji practically floating with happiness. “I mean it was Kou’s birthday, why’d he take _you_ out?”

“Koutarou said that every day with me is a gift to him, so he wanted to do something for me,” Keiji says nonchalantly as he closes his locker, like he just gave them an answer to a simple maths problem. Kei can’t hold back the gagging noise or the long pained groan.

“I have to agree with Kei,” Morisuke says, grimacing. “That’s gross. But you clearly like gross, so good on you.”

“I love gross,” Keiji murmurs under his breath.

“What?” Morisuke asks, not standing as close as Kei and therefore not hearing it.

“Nothing.”

“We should go,” Kei says, slinging his bag over his shoulder and straightening. “Or Tetsurou will get all mad and that vein in his forehead will do that popping thing… No, on second thought let’s be late, it’s amusing to watch.”

Morisuke chuckles. “I like the way you think.”

They make their way over to the gymnasium anyway, loving basketball too much to risk missing any practice time. Morisuke asks about what Keiji and Koutarou did on their date and he tells them about the park and the picnic. It all sounds incredibly nice, and Kei curses himself when he thinks about going on a date like that with Tetsurou. He hates how good the thought of it makes him feel.

On the way they run into Hitoka and as Morisuke calls out her name she gets distracted and drops everything she’s holding. Morisuke winces and rushes over to help her.

“Crap, s-sorry,” she stutters, furiously collecting the papers and markers.

“Why are you apologising?” Kei questions, picking up a marker that had rolled away and handing it to her. “Technically it was Mori’s fault.”

“I-I don’t know, I’m j-just all… I’m all frazzled.”

“A lot of work to do for the team?” Morisuke guesses. “If Keish’s working you too hard just tell him, he folds like a cheap suit, especially if it’s you, he adores you.”

“Uh, n-no, not too much work.”

A smile stretches at Kei’s mouth, he knows exactly why she’s ‘frazzled’. Tadashi has been the same for the past two weeks, stuttering through sentences as he randomly loses himself in thought and sometimes just zoning out completely. They’ve barely spoken to each other, both too nervous to actually act on the relationship they’re in.

“You’re working with Tadashi right?” Kei prompts and Morisuke makes a long ‘oh’, realisation sound.

“You should just kiss him,” Morisuke suggests casually.

Hitoka’s caramel brown eyes widen, her mouth drops open and her face flushes pink. “N-N-No, I couldn’t, I—No, no way, he—” she stutters, shaking her head vehemently. “I can’t!”

Morisuke is grinning, practically predatory. “Why not?”

Keiji sighs. “This is very hypocritical of you Morisuke.”

“I told you not to talk about that!”

“I’ve been trying to convince Tadashi to kiss you all week. He really wants to kiss you, he’s just as nervous as you are,” Kei interrupts before they start arguing and get off topic. He knows how to play this, his voice is matter-of-fact as he ambles past her. “You may as well just get it over with, the first kiss is never good, but it breaks down the barrier and they get so much better. I’d do it sooner rather than later, before Tetsurou gets fed up with you and forces your heads together.”

Morisuke laughs, following Kei into the gymnasium. “He probably would too.”

“I’m surprised he hasn't done that to you yet,” Keiji comments dryly.

Morisuke growls but otherwise doesn’t say anything. Kei hopes that he somehow managed to push Hitoka with the weird combination of fear and confidence he offered. He’s no provocation expert like Tetsurou but he hopes it will help.

Kei’s been trying to talk Tadashi into simply talking to her like a normal person over the two weeks they’ve been together. It’s ridiculous because they used to talk to each other so easily, so companionably, and now they get completely flustered. Sometimes Kei wonders if Tetsurou isn’t right in forcefully mashing their faces together. They just need to get past that uncomfortable, nervousness of their new relationship and they’ll be fine. It’s irritating.

“Geez, there you guys are, I was about to send out a rescue party,” Tetsurou remarks as they enter the locker room, his trademark grin plastered on his face, so proud of every ‘clever’ thing he says. Kei rolls his eyes.

“You’re the worst,” Morisuke mutters. “Seriously dorky dad, enough is enough.”

“I literally saw you tying Ken’s shoes up the other day!”

“And I literally saw you lecturing him about docosahexaenoic acid this morning!”

“It’s an important part of his diet!”

“Yeah and if he tripped over his shoe laces and died he wouldn’t even need a diet!”

Kei clicks his tongue and exchanges an exasperated look with Keiji but otherwise ignores their idiocy as he changes. They don’t stop arguing until Tetsurou leaves because Kai needs his help in the gym. It’s probably not true, but Kai could probably hear them from out on the court and wanted to stop them, like he generally does.

When Kei, Morisuke and Keiji walk out onto the court the team is already assembled to start, some already stretching and warming up. Lev calls out to Morisuke as they enter, Morisuke mumbles something about the ‘stupid attractive skyscraper’ and makes his way over.

“How long’s that been happening?” Kei asks Keiji quietly, watching Morisuke punch Lev in the arm for being too loud.

“Hard to tell with Morisuke, maybe a few months,” Keiji answers, his smoky green eyes roaming over the room, ever observant. “It certainly only happened last year though; the year before, Lev’s first year, Morisuke couldn’t stand him.”

“Is Lev…?”

Keiji shrugs. “As far as I can tell, he’s been infatuated with Morisuke since they met. We were probably more truthful with the rumours about the whole basketball team being gay than we intended to be.”

Kei’s gold eyes flicker to a head of messy black hair and a Cheshire grin. _If only,_ he thinks.

Suddenly Hitoka storms past them, drawing Kei’s attention and creasing his brow with a frown because she’s literally storming, which isn’t something Hitoka does. He realises why when she walks up to Tadashi – who is in the middle of a discussion with Keishin – grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls his mouth down onto hers.

Kei’s mouth drops open and others in the room must do the same because the room goes quiet. Tadashi’s eyes are as wide as Kei has ever seen and when Hitoka pulls away both of their faces are bright red. Without saying anything Hitoka storms out of the room, Tetsurou applauding and Koutarou hooting as she goes.

Kei stares after her, dumbfounded. “That isn’t what I had in mind.”

“Did the job,” Keiji shrugs.

Keishin clears his throat awkwardly and tries to start talking to Tadashi again, but he seems to be lost in a daze somewhere between embarrassed and blissful.

“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that.”

“I’ve had Koutarou’s tongue down my throat in public too many time to count. I’ll feel sympathy for Tadashi when Hitoka is overtly groping him in front of his friends.”

Kei grimaces. “Your relationship is gross.”

“I love gross,” Keiji responds, smiling affectionately at Koutarou.

 

* * *

  
Kei grunts as Tetsurou’s solid shoulder slams into his chest, but somehow manages to hold his ground even though he feels like he’s been winded. Tetsurou’s shoulders are ridiculous, someone his age shouldn’t have shoulders that broad and strong.

“Geez Tsukki, an hour and a half of training and twelve games of one-on-one and you’re slowing down already,” Tetsurou provokes him, nudging into his chest for emphasis. Kei really wants to wipe the smug grin off his face; he wants to do that a lot but this time he actually wants to do it with his fist rather than his mouth. “C’mon, stop me!”

Fatigue grips his limbs, slowing his muscles and making movement feel impossible. He has no idea how Tetsurou has this much stamina, how he can push and push and never get tired. Kei wonders how much it actually takes to make him tired.

Kei groans in annoyance as Tetsurou dances past him with ease, dunking the ball to the point of hanging from the hoop like the giant show off he is. Bending over his knees Kei breathes heavily.

“It’s okay Tsukki,” Tetsurou mocks, smirk clear in his voice as he pats Kei on the back. “One of these days you’ll be able to keep up with me.”

Everything is sounding dirty to Kei’s weary mind; because apparently exhaustion equals horniness, or perhaps that’s simply from having a sweaty Tetsurou rubbing up against him. Either way it’s not good.

“No more,” Kei pants, wiping his sweatband over his forehead. “I didn’t shoot enough today and I want to get some in before we leave.”

Tetsurou taps his forehead and winks. “Smart. Don’t take too long. I’ll meet you in the locker room.”

Tetsurou wanders off the court, humming a song to himself along the way. Kei forcefully keeps his head down as Tetsurou leaves, not wanting to meet the sight of the broad shoulders pulling at the sweat damp material of his shirt or the basketball shorts hanging low on his hips as his shirt has clung to his back and ridden up. With the amount of time they spend together in training it’s a wonder Kei’s basketball is progressing at all, Tetsurou is one big distraction.

They stay behind after training like this most days, playing one-on-one or setting up extra strategy training with Keiji, pushing Kei’s training before the big practice game against Seijou on the weekend. Seijou are a big deal, they’re state champion – from a different state – and often play against Nekodani at nationals. They’ve beaten Nekodani the last two occasions and apparently there is an ‘unfriendly rift’ between Tetsurou and Seijou’s Captain. It’s an important opportunity to play such an experienced team and for Kei to test his ability against them.

Straightening Kei heaves a sigh and walks over to the ball rack. Even as tired as he is, with no opponent pressure it doesn’t take him long to shoot a lazy twenty shots, each ball swishing through the net. On the last ball something tweaks in his hand and Kei grimaces in pain but still manages to sink the shot.

Thinking it nothing other than an over worked muscle Kei puts away the balls and makes his way into the locker room. He can hear the shower running and he really doesn’t want to go in when it’s just him and Tetsurou here, so he focuses on his hand.

Leaning back against his own locker Kei glances down at his rough hands, his eyes roaming over his impact reddened palms and the small calluses on his fingers. Nothing looks physically wrong but when he curls his hand into a fist the ache burns through his muscles. Muttering a curse under his breath Kei sinks to the ground and rubs at the over worked muscles. Leaning his head back against the cool metal he winces through the pain.

“You shouldn’t rub it like that.”

Tetsurou’s voice jolts him out of his relaxed, sleepy state. It sounds close, too close, and when Kei opens his eyes he knows why. Tetsurou is kneeling in front of him, between his raised legs and wearing nothing but shorts. Droplets of water run enticingly down his tan skin, curving over the swell of each well-defined abdominal muscle. Kei feels his mouth go dry at the sight.

“Here, let me,” Tetsurou says, thankfully focussed on Kei’s hands, concern lining his dark brow. “I had a similar problem in my freshman year, it’s just a slight straining of the hand muscles from too much work. It’s only minor muscle ache right?”

Kei nods slowly as Tetsurou ever so carefully takes Kei’s hand between his own. Tetsurou’s skin is so warm, so very warm, it feels like it’s burning him.

“Your hands are cold,” Tetsurou remarks, a smile curling his mouth. “How is that even possible?”

Kei shrugs numbly, somehow sounding normal when he drawls, “Just lucky I guess.”

Tetsurou chuckles. “Anyway, if it was anything worse you’d certainly _know_ about it. Coach Nekomata taught me some massages when it happened to me and then my Physio taught me even better ones.”

His strong finger start kneading gently into Kei’s palm and he bites the inside of his cheek because it feels too good. It hurts, it aches, but at the same time it feels relieving, the pressure working away the pain. Kei closes his eyes because he can’t stand it. He can’t stand watching the muscles in Tetsurou’s forearms roll and tense under his sun-kissed skin; he can’t stand seeing the glisten of water across his bare, broad shoulders and chest; he can’t stand the deep concentration and concern in his expression.

“You probably should be lifting fewer weights,” Tetsurou muses. “Halve your repetitions and focus more on your core strength, most of your shooting ability comes from there; you’re not really in need of much power in your arms like me or Kou. That mighty left handed pass proves you don’t really need more anyway.”

Kei hums an affirmative response because that’s about the best he can do. Tetsurou is so close, too close, he can smell him, _feel_ him.

“Aki’s still feeding you by my meal plan right?” Tetsurou questions, his tone serious despite the ‘cute’ nickname he has started using since discovering that’s what Kei calls his brother.

Kei groans, frustration mercifully overriding his unwanted desire. “Yes, would you like me to send recordings of me eating every single meal?”

“A Tsukki in his natural habitat, that is a rare sight indeed. Yes please!”

Making the mistake of opening his eyes, Kei meets heavy lidded, dark amber eyes glinting with amusement. Kei feels as if all the air has been punched out of his lungs because Tetsurou is incredibly gorgeous, all strong lines and playful curves, all he can do is stare. He wants to grab Tetsurou’s wrist and pull him forward to kiss him, to feel the heat of his mouth against his tongue and his firm muscles of his shoulders under his fingertips.

Something in Tetsurou’s gaze changes and suddenly his thumb presses into a particularly tender muscle in Kei’s hand and he hisses, barely biting back the moan that threatens.

“Sorry,” Tetsurou mutters, drawing his gaze back to Kei’s hand, black lashes hiding his eyes.

“It’s fine.”

Kei leans his head back against the locker and closes his eyes again. He’s getting good at repressing his emotions, his lust; Tetsurou may have his godly good-looks but Kei is nothing if not stubborn. He’s also an expert at bottling up his emotions. It may not be healthy but neither is getting rejected, being pitied and possibly destroy the essential on-court relationship the team needs for the season ahead. Basketball is too important, it’s why he’s here after all, here to play.

After a few more minutes – and massaging Kei’s other hand – Tetsurou declares he’s finished.

“How does it feel?”

Kei hums as he flexes his fingers. “Much better. Thank you.”

“Good,” Tetsurou grins. “You should look after your hands, they’re important, especially for you. Shooting like you do is precise work, your hands need to remain in top condition. Our last shooting guard used to tape the fingers of his hand outside of basketball to protect them.”

“Sounds like a lot of effort.”

“Basketball _is_ a lot of effort Tsukki, if you—”

“I swear to God, if you lecture me one more time I will murder you.”

Tetsurou seems about to laugh when his smile drops and his eyes focus on Kei’s forehead. “That’s a pretty nasty scar you have on your head.”

Immediately Kei’s stomach drops and an icy cold hand grips at his chest, making it feel hard to breathe. His hand moves instinctively to his temple where the ugly, pale line of scar tissue stretches from hairline to brow, usually covered by the wavy blond hair he grew out purposefully to cover it. An echo of ache thuds through his head at the memory.

“Uh, y-yeah, something I got when I was a kid,” Kei lies, brushing his damp hair back down to cover it.

“Must have hurt,” Tetsurou remarks, sounding unconvinced. Sharp eyes narrow on Kei, easily discerning the lie but Tetsurou doesn’t address it and merely rises to his feet, extending a hand to help Kei up. “C’mon, let’s get your skinny ass home.”

Kei turns quickly to his locker and grabs his bags out of it. “Put a shirt on and let’s go. I’ll shower at home.”

“Good, because you smell.”

Clicking his tongue Kei walks out of the locker room.

“Wait, Tsukki!”

Kei can hear Tetsurou chuckling out in the corridor where he waits by the rather large – and full – Nekodani Basketball trophy case. His eyes roam aimlessly over the medals and trophies, over the names carved into them and team photos. On display in the centre is a photo of last year’s state championship team; Koutarou and Tetsurou next to each other with blinding bright grins, Ukai just as excited, Nekomata smiling like the cat that caught the canary and Akaashi standing off to the side with a small smile. It might be nice, to be that proud and happy. It might be nice to help get the current team to that point and maybe even further.

If Karasuno was the spark that ignited an actual desire to play and win basketball, then Nekodani – Tetsurou and Koutarou especially – have doused that spark in fuel and set a raging fire within him. They push him and bring out a once hidden competitive spirit, driving him to reach for a goal he no longer believes impossible. Kei wants his moment, he’s seeking a time to prove that he deserves to be here, on this state championship team.

“If you glare at that thing any harder it might melt,” Tetsurou remarks, playfully bumping their shoulders together as they start making their way to the car.

“At least then there would be one less piece of evidence of how terrible your hair is,” Kei responds, his own mouth curling into a smirk.

“Oh? You think I’ll still be affected by all your lame attempts to diss my hair? Well, you’re right! It’s not my fault. It’s just how it sets and I can’t fix it.”

“So… You’re saying the wind changed and it got stuck that way?”

“Wow. Mean. But yeah, that seems to be the case.”

As they drive Tetsurou goes through his attempts to tame his wild head of dark hair. It’s quite an amusing tale and Kei let’s his amusement be known with numerous snarky comments.

Slamming the door on something idiotic Tetsurou is saying, Kei walks into his home with a smile on his face, but inside it’s empty and cold. Akiteru’s firm has some important clients to cater for this week so he’s working late shifts and will be at least another hour. The lack of distraction leaves Kei pacing restlessly in his room as he’s suddenly, jarringly, drawn into unwanted thoughts. Thoughts about Tetsurou.

About his body. About his voice. About his hands. About his mouth.

Slumping down at the foot of his bed Kei fumbles in his bag, takes off his glasses and rests his headphones comfortably on his ears. His right hand clenches and unclenches as he scrolls through his playlists and blasts heavy guitar and screaming lyrics. Sucking in steady breaths Kei rests his head back against the bed and focusses on the music, on the lyrics, mouthing them.

 _It’s okay Tsukki. One of these days you’ll be able to keep up with me._ Tetsurou’s voice echoes in his mind, low and smooth, breaking through his music with ease. The memory of it sends Kei’s blood rushing, his breath shortening. _Don’t take too long. I’ll meet you in the locker room._

Kei tears the headphones off his head and growls as he throws them on his bed, because they’re _fucking useless_. His body is starting to burn and even after exhaustive exercise he feels restless, twitching, _itching_. He can feel Tetsurou’s hands on him, kneading into his palms, massaging and soothing his aches, his pain. Kei needs to…

“Damn it.”

His long fingers push under the elastic waist of his basketball shorts and Kei lifts his body as he slides them down over his hips. He can see Tetsurou kneeling in front of him, dark eyes heavy lidded and a smirk curling his mouth. His mouth, murmuring such perverse and beautiful things. _You shouldn’t rub it like that._ Kei licks his palm, where Tetsurou’s fingers had been, and wraps his fingers around himself, letting out a rushed breath at the pressure.

 _Here, let me,_ Tetsurou purrs against his ear. Kei closes his eyes and imagines Tetsurou’s hands on him, sliding sinfully slowly down his neck and shoulders, down his chest. The muscles in his stomach twitch as Tetsurou’s fingers graze lightly over his sensitive skin until they finally, thankfully, encircle his now painfully throbbing length.

_Tsukki…_

Kei whimpers, twisting his wrist and making himself shudder. _How does it feel?_ Tetsurou asks, smirking, leaning in close and observing Kei’s every movement. His hips jerk forward at the thought, heat pooling rapidly as he thrusts desperately into his hand. Kei strokes himself more urgently, breath coming out in shaky huffs, biting his lip as a moan forces its way up his throat.

_Tsukki…_

Kei can feel Tetsurou’s mouth at his throat, nipping and licking at his skin, sucking on his earlobe and whispering his name. His muscles tense and tremble as he feels the pressure building, fast and out of control as he swipes his thumb over the leaking tip.

_Kei._

His body curls in on itself as shockwaves of pleasure surge through his body.

“Tet- _ahh_ ,” Kei cries out, his head snapping back as he strokes himself through it, barely aware of the warm liquid coating his hand.

Breathing heavily Kei comes down from the high of his orgasm far too quickly. His body feels heavy and his mind feels horribly wrong. It’s wrong, it’s all wrong. Kei looks down at himself, sickened by the sight of his pale thighs and sticky hands. He feels a hollowness in his chest. He feels pathetic. He feels…

“Gross.”

Pulling off his t-shirt, that caught half of the mess, he wipes his hands and cleans himself on it before throwing it at his clothes hamper. Shoving his shorts down his legs, Kei laces his fingers together painfully tight and bites back the lump in his throat.

He sits there, naked and trembling. Hating himself. Disgusted by himself.

This in clearly no longer a simply crush, Kei’s infatuated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flower Keiji gave Koutarou, the [Aster](http://www.flowermeaning.com/aster-flower-meaning/), it means patience, love of variety, elegance and daintiness. I think this is very fitting for Keiji and symbolic of Keiji giving Koutarou his heart.  
> 


	8. Confrontation

Gunshots echo around the dark room, they don’t even faze Tetsurou as he absently scrolls through his Twitter feed, barely taking in what he’s looking at. He’s having trouble focussing, he’s restless. Tetsurou can be lazy, he can lie in bed, dozing in and out, until one in the afternoon, but it’s Saturday and he needs to do _something_ .

Tetsurou glances at Kenma, who is sitting at his desk, curled up in a misshapen ball, furiously working away at the PlayStation controller in his hands. On the monitor in front of him a disturbing, nuclear affected monster is attempting to end his character's life while Kenma expertly evades and assaults the beast with accurate sprays of bullets. Seriously, how many bullets can that thing take?

“You shouldn’t sit like that, it’s bad for your posture,” Tetsurou comments, frowning at his best friend.

“You’re one to talk,” Kenma responds, not even turning away from the screen.

Lifting his head from where it’s hanging over the end of Kenma’s bed, feeling heavy from all the blood that’s rushed to it, Tetsurou glances down at himself and sighs, conceding his point. Tetsurou drops his head back down, his neck aching with the effort of holding it up, and puts his phone down on the bed.

Tetsurou stares at the plain, white wall, considering, for the umpteenth time, things he hasn’t been able to draw from his mind for the past thirty six hours.

_The way Kei had looked at me…_

Kei’s hands, cold despite the extensive exercise he’d been doing, in his own. Slender fingers, longer than his own, curling automatically into his touch as Tetsurou focussed on massaging pain out of his overworked muscles. Then Kei looked at him, gold eyes holding more than their usual intensity, and something in Tetsurou’s chest clenched… because he knew he’d crossed a line.

It was stupid, Tetsurou knows that; he was sitting too close, wearing nothing but shorts and still wet from the shower. He was just trying to help. Not only is Kei’s physical condition important to the team, but Tetsurou actually cares about his future in the sport he clearly loves. He’s too accustomed to Koutarou and Kenma’s complete lack of attraction to him, too accustomed to being physically close to his friends without having to worry about crossing that line. Tetsurou has grown so close to Kei so quickly that he simply forgot that there’s a line.

Yesterday, when they walked to and from school together, nothing seemed to be amiss. Kei was his usual snarky self, effortlessly retorting to Tetsurou’s humour with clever quips. It makes Tetsurou think that he’s worrying about nothing. He likes to think he has a firm hold on his ego but perhaps in this case he’s seeing things that aren’t there and thinking too highly of himself.

Still, if he’s wrong, if Kei is attracted to him, it would be the worst thing to happen, to their friendship and to the team. Perhaps Tetsurou should test it, make sure he’s right.

“I’m inviting Kei over,” Tetsurou says, picking up his phone confidently, already knowing the answer to the question he didn’t ask.

“Fine,” Kenma says, an uncharacteristic excited lilt in his voice.

At Hitoka’s birthday party, after the success of the masterplan, Tetsurou and Kei joined the others playing Mario Kart. Of course Kenma was beating everyone else and even the neighbours knew about it, thanks to Koutarou’s whining. Then Kei casually accepted a Wii remote, sat down with a deceptively calm expression and beat Kenma on Rainbow Road. Needless to say everyone was stunned. Kenma, on the other hand, looked like Christmas had come early, he has finally found someone to compete with. And then he _demanded_ a _rematch_. Which stunned everyone even more.

“You should invite Shouyou,” Tetsurou says, a smirk curling his mouth as he types out a text to Kei.

 **[11:56] me**  
_oi tsukki whatcha doin today_

Kenma’s response is hesitant and quiet. “He’s probably busy.”

“You don’t know until you ask,” he sing-songs.

“I’m not asking.”

“Don’t make me steal your phone and text him for you Ken. I will send lots of hearts and kissy faces along with the invite that will make you both blush.”

Kenma groans but slowly reaches for his phone, while simultaneously fighting off a group of monsters, because he knows all too well that Tetsurou will follow through with the threat. Tetsurou’s phone chimes and he smiles as he reads the message from Kei.

 **[11:57] tsukki**  
_Nothing interesting that you can latch onto and invite yourself to. Why?_

 **[11:57] me**  
_wanna come over to ken’s and hang with us?!_

Tetsurou looks up – or, technically, at the angle he’s lying on, down – at Kenma when his phone beeps. The glowing light of the screen illuminates Kenma’s face and Tetsurou can clearly see the small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“What’d he say?” Tetsurou questions and Kenma instantly drops the smile as he realises he’s being watched.

“That his mom will drive him over in twenty minutes,” he drawls, faking indifference, which is unbelievably transparent to Tetsurou who has known him practically all his life.

 **[11:59] tsukki**  
_Fine. I’ll leave in five minutes._

Tetsurou mentally fist pumps. He can hopefully quash his conceited fear that Kei is attracted to him _and_ he’s managed to get Kenma to invite Shouyou over. Today is going to be a good day.

Kenma stills and his eyes grow unfocussed. His character stops and the monster he’d been carefully careening for the past twenty minutes kills him, brutally. Tetsurou frowns as his best friend’s eyes widen and he slowly turns in his spinning chair.

“It’s Saturday…”

It’s not possible for Tetsurou to frown deeper so his lips pucker in confusion. “Yes… And?”

“The house is a mess!” Kenma skitters from his chair and out the room like a terrified cat and Tetsurou stares after him for a surprised moment before bursting into laughter. Kenma cleans on Sundays. “Kuro, stop cackling like a hyena and help me!”

Still laughing, Tetsurou rolls backwards off the bed and strolls out into the living room that’s attached to the kitchen. Kenma’s house isn’t very big, less than half the size of Tetsurou’s, with only Kenma and his dad living here. Kenma’s father works two jobs to keep them financially stable. Tetsurou admires Mr. Kozume and has known him almost all his life, it’s just unfortunate that he can’t be around more.

“It’s really not that bad Ken,” Tetsurou asserts, attempting to reassure his friend. It really isn’t, with Kenma mostly holing up in his room and his dad rarely home, the house is always neat. Nonetheless Tetsurou helps him tidy up, doing frivolous things like straightening cushions and putting away clean dishes from the dishwasher.

“This is your fault,” Kenma mumbles as he bustles past.

“Oh come on, this is just like the clothes thing when we went to Sparkles’ birthday party, and how did that turn out?”

They still haven’t openly spoken about Kenma’s crush on Shouyou, Kenma continues to shut down any conversation Tetsurou starts about it. It’s not surprising, Tetsurou can tell Kenma is uncomfortable about it and likely doesn’t have many answers anyway.

Kenma’s jaw tightens and he stops, leaning against the counter. “Fine.”

“Right! It went fine,” Tetsurou affirms. “Shrimpy barely noticed what you were wearing, he was simply excited to see you.”

Kenma’s shoulders relax, slumping into their usual terrible posture and, of course, in that moment the doorbell rings. Kenma flinches, eyes wide again.

“Relax, it’s just Tsukki.”

Tetsurou pats Kenma’s shoulder as he makes his way to the front door. Lost in the amusement of Kenma’s freak out, Tetsurou had forgotten about his possible problem with Kei. He freezes at the door, hand hovering at the handle.

Tetsurou swallows hard. What if Kei _is_ attracted to him? What will he do then? It’s not like it’s something Kei can control, though he’d likely argue different. He’s stubborn and guarded, he’d probably take it in his stride, even if it hurt… But how could Tetsurou live with that? Knowing that he’s hurting his close friend. He couldn’t, but he’d have to because—

 _Get your head out of your ass,_ Tetsurou scolds himself. _He probably isn’t attracted to you at all._

Not allowing himself another moment to think, Tetsurou pulls the door open, Kei’s standing on the other side his hand raised to ring the doorbell again and scowling. He’s wearing blue jeans and his black Chucks, stuffing his hands inside the pockets of his red and gold Nekodani sweat jacket.

Kei’s eyes drop to Tetsurou’s chest, an amused smile curling his mouth. “Really? Grumpy cat?”

“Grumpy cat is the best! The two of you have a lot in common,” Tetsurou grins but it wavers, that didn’t come out the way he meant. “You know, all scowl-y and angry at the world.”

Said scowl makes its way onto Kei’s face. “What took you so long anyway?”

“Uh, I may have over stepped my line of scheming and set Kenma on edge a bit…” Tetsurou chuckles, scratching the back of his head as he makes way for Kei to enter, closing the door behind him.

Kei sighs. “What did you do now?”

“I told him to invite the Shrimp over and he did.”

“Haven’t you played matchmaker enough?”

“But Ken will never act on his feelings!”

“Did you ever think that maybe that’s okay?”

“No, because now four of my friends, who had been pining over each other, for far too long, are together and happy. Kou and Keiji are gross and in love and Sparkles and Freckles finally kissed and went out on a date last night. I’d say my track record speaks for itself,” Tetsurou states smugly.

“Whatever, it’s your funeral.”

With that Kei walks further into the house, comfortable here after a few more study sessions with Kenma.

Tetsurou watches after him; Kei doesn’t seem any different, in fact if anyone is acting oddly it’s Tetsurou. That’s simply his concern for the situation but, most importantly, Kei seems fine, acting as indifferent and annoyed towards him as always. Tetsurou’s definitely just reading too much into it. A tension, he didn’t realise he was holding onto, dissipates and Tetsurou relaxes, grinning broadly as he follows after Kei.

In the kitchen Kenma is scrubbing at the bench and doesn’t even look up when they enter. Tetsurou watches Kei’s gold eyes float around the room as he nonchalantly says, “Hey Kenma.”

“Hi Kei.”

Tetsurou sighs heavily, shaking his head at Kenma’s lack of response. He thought maybe Kei could distract him by drawing out his competitive gamer spirit. Kei seems as unfazed as ever though. Tetsurou frowns as he walks over to the television and starts setting something up. Tilting his head and folding his arms, Tetsurou simply stands there, watching curiously to see what Kei is doing. He’s definitely up to something.

Turning on the television and console, Kei sits back casually on the couch with a controller in his hand. Tetsurou glances at Kenma, but he still hasn’t noticed, if this is Kei’s plan then it isn’t—

There is a sound of a plane propeller, a monkey and children laughing, apparently this combination makes Kenma’s head snap up. Then a chime of a xylophone jingles musically and the monkey makes some more noise. Kenma dumps the washcloth he’s using on the bench and walks over to the television to pick up the second controller before dumping himself in his favourite armchair.

Tetsurou frowns in confusion. Sure, video games generally get Kenma’s attention, but these are special stressful circumstances. What’s so special about this game that drew Kenma’s attention? And how did Kei know it would work?

Sitting down on the couch beside Kei, Tetsurou sees the different creatures in vehicles come out for their introductions. He’s played this game with Kenma before, and when he recognises the monkey that is introduced last he knows its Diddy Kong Racing.

“Can I play?” Tetsurou asks.

“No,” Kei and Kenma answer dryly and in unison.

“ _What_? Why not?”

Kei turns to him and says, completely deadpan, “You’ll only ruin it.”

“You’re terrible at racing games,” Kenma adds, not glancing away from the screen.

“Wow, you guys are savage. And rude.”

Kenma sighs. “You can play when Shouyou gets here. It’s even then.”

Tetsurou grumbles half-heartedly but he doesn’t mind, Kenma used Shouyou’s name without even flinching. Kei calmed him. A soft smile curls Tetsurou’s lips as he sits back on the couch and watches them race. He’s so happy Kenma has found someone to game with, it’s his main hobby after all. Sure he plays and enjoys basketball, but Kenma’s passion will always be gaming. Kenma’s shy about it too, he usually hates talking about it, knowing that people won’t understand him, but Kei does.

“Why do you always play the title character?” Kenma questions, grimacing at Kei’s choice of Diddy Kong.

“The title character is always better,” Kei says, smirking, and Kenma huffs a laugh. “I would ask why you’re playing a cat but you probably just inherited Tetsurou’s obsession.”

“More like he stole it from me.”

“Dude I’m right here, and that is _not_ what happened,” Tetsurou interjects. “We both started liking cats at the same time, it was pure coincidence. Who _doesn’t_ like cats?”

“Me,” Kei answers, amusement clear in his eyes.

Tetsurou gasps dramatically. “You _liar_! You love Tux, just admit it already!”

His nose scrunches. “It’s a cat, what’s there to like.”

“Aw, come on now, don’t be like that Tsukki. I bet he sleeps in your bed and is all warm and soft and you love it. He purrs and sits in your lap and you pet him and you adore him. Tux loves you and you love him back!”

“Yeah, right,” Kei scoffs, but his smile completely gives him away.

Tetsurou shoves him playfully. “Such a terrible liar.”

“I’m trying to concentrate on the game Tetsurou,” Kei grumbles.

He’s about to tease him some more when he feels Kenma’s eyes on him. Tetsurou gazes over to see Kenma glancing at them every now and then, his concentration divided between them and the game. Tetsurou frowns and goes to ask what’s wrong, when the doorbell chimes.

“I’ll get it,” Tetsurou offers, rising from the couch and throwing a cushion at Kei as he goes.

What he does know about the minimal developments between Kenma and Shouyou is exactly that, not much has developed between them. Which is okay because unlike his other friends they’ve only known each other for a month. He does know that they message each other fairly regularly and talk a lot between their shared lunch and at basketball practice.

Shouyou’s face visibly falls when Tetsurou opens the door, which only makes him laugh. Shouyou then gets adorably angry, his cheeks puffing out.

“What’s so funny?” he demands.

“Nothing, nothing,” Tetsurou sing-songs, moving to let Shouyou in. Tetsurou likes the short boisterous kid, his energy is good for the team, good for Kenma, and he’s easy to get along with. Unless you’re Kei. They don’t exactly get along. Perhaps this can be another goal of the day, bridging the gap between Kei and Shouyou. “How you doing Shrimpy?”

“Good! I played some ball last night with my neighbours, I’ve known them since elementary school. They’re pretty good, you know, for not playing on a team,” Shouyou rambles, ever distracted when talking about basketball, he doesn’t even notice when they’ve entered the living room with the two gamers. Although, they don’t notice either. “I was trying this thing Kou taught me and I think I’ve finally managed to pull it off!”

“You’ll have to try it out in the practice game tomorrow, but make sure you rest up until then okay?”

Shouyou grins brilliantly. “Yes Captain!”

The sunshine beaming out of him seems to finally catch Kenma’s attention, he even pauses the game.

“Kenma!” Shouyou practically deafens Tetsurou with his enthusiasm and a small smile curls Kenma’s mouth.

“Hello Shouyou.”

After beaming at Kenma for what feels like an eternity – Kenma blushing under the intensity of it – Shouyou turns his attention to an expressionless Kei. The kid is practically growling.

“Bean pole.”

“Short round.”

Okay, so maybe bridging the gap between them is a little optimistic. As the two new members of the team, both likely to be starting games on court, they’re incredibly competitive with each other. Kei makes jokes about Shouyou’s height and always complains about how loud he is, which, of course, infuriates Shouyou and makes him equally as rude. Its equal parts annoying and hilarious. Whether or not they can shut down the feud while playing a game will have to be tested at tomorrow practice game.

Tetsurou claps his hands together, drawing everyone’s attention. “What are we playing? Do you have snacks Ken?”

“Um,” Kenma scratches his cheek. “N-Not really.”

Money is always a touchy subject around Kenma, the Kozume’s struggle sometimes. Tetsurou actually hates bringing up anything even remotely to do with it and always offers to pay for things for Kenma, even when he complains.

“I’ll just make a quick snack run. I’ll be right back,” Tetsurou says quickly, Kei following after him when he leaves.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Excellent thinking, we leave them alone and let them bond,” he whispers conspiratorially when they get to the front door.

Kei clicks his tongue. “I’m _not_ in on your stupid match-making scheme, idiot.”

Tetsurou chuckles, unlocking his car and getting in. “Sure, sure. So you just want to spend as little time with the Shrimp as possible then. You know, you really need to stop teasing him. You’re going to have to play with each other, in _important_ games, working together.”

“I am aware,” Kei drawls, gazing out his windows as they drive. He always does that when they’re discussing that makes him uncomfortable. “It’s not _just_ me. And he’s annoying as fuck.”

“You put up with Kou.”

“Barely,” he says, and Tetsurou can see the smile at the corner of his mouth.

Kei keeps everything close to his chest, he doesn’t like people knowing how he truly feels about things, even people he trusts like Tadashi. To say Kei intrigues Tetsurou is an understatement. For as long as Tetsurou can remember he’s been good at reading people. But Kei… Kei’s a mystery. The wall he’s built up around himself is dense and fortified by layers of indifference and snark. It makes him remarkably cool, but it also isolates him.

He may never admit it, but Tetsurou can see that Kei truly appreciates the company of his teammates. Keiji, Morisuke and Kenma particularly. He even seems to find Koutarou and Lev amusing, often teasing them playfully. And Kei seems to genuinely enjoy working with Tetsurou, they work well together.

“What are we getting? I’m surprised you even allow ‘snacks’,” Kei remarks as they enter the closest supermarket. It’s midday on a Saturday and it’s bustling with families doing their weekly shop and teenagers doing exactly what they’re doing.

“Only for special occasions and nothing too high in sugar,” Tetsurou explains as they make their way down the aisles, grabbing some chips and soda. He continues quickly before he gets called ‘dad’. “Don’t change the subject, we were talking about you and the Shrimp. It’s really petty, both of you just need to get over it and be teammates.”

“Not going to happen,” Kei deadpans.

Shaking his head and grinning broadly, Tetsurou slings his arm around Kei’s shoulders, stumbling down the candy aisle together. “So hard to get along with Tsukki.”

“Well, well, well~, if it isn’t my arch nemesis,” a voice chimes from behind them.

His smile instantly drops and a horrible chill runs down his spine. Even over the noise in the busy supermarket Tetsurou knows the awful trill of that voice and the irritating person it belongs to. Turning – his arm still around Kei – he’s met with a smug smile and fluffed up, chocolate brown hair. The cocky head tilt and the way his hand is set on his hip – just his general existence really – makes Tetsurou want to slap him.

“Tooru,” Tetsurou grinds the name through his teeth like it will make it less foul to say. “What a terrible surprise. What moron helped you escape your keeper?”

Tetsurou knows why the Captain of Seijou’s basketball team is here, to play Nekodani in a practice game tomorrow. The odds of them running into one another like this though are slim. Seijou must be staying in a hotel nearby.

“Still haven’t tamed that disgusting animal on your head I see. Have you heard of a hairbrush?”

“That one never gets old.”

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Tooru questions, eyes glinting with mischief and hair bouncing as he nods at Kei.

Tetsurou’s worried that question will make Kei uncomfortable, as it’s intended to, but of course it takes a lot more than that to unsettle Kei. With an exasperated eye roll he shrugs out from under Tetsurou’s arm.

“This is our new shooting guard, Tsukk—”

“Kei Tsukishima,” Kei interrupts.

Tooru’s perceptive brown eyes roam over Kei’s tall frame, slowly moving from the toes of his chucks and up to his blond head, discerning. Most of this is for show, Tooru is nothing if not dramatic, a showman, but he’s also an excellent strategist and will use any and all information he can get to defeat an opponent. Kei will certainly prove difficult for Seijou to handle, a team that specialises in in-and-under basketball, relying heavily on inside plays mostly from their power forward, Hajime.

“He’s pretty, much too pretty for you Tets—”

“Hey, fucktruck, you get your…” Hajime trails off as he rounds the corner, his dark eyes landing on Tetsurou. “Oh, hey Tetsu.”

“You’re so mean Haji, why would you call me that?” Tooru complains, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Mm, sorry, Makki was calling you it earlier and it kinda stuck,” Hajime explains, not sounding apologetic at all.

“Well, unstick it. And you’re interrupting our confrontation.”

Hajime raises an unimpressed eyebrow at his best friend. “There is literally no need for a ‘confrontation’; our schools are incredibly friendly, hence the practice game. You two idiots are the only ones who stoop to this stupid grudge. So stop embarrassing me.”

Ever level-headed and reasonable, Hajime always calms… Well, everyone. Even Tetsurou sees no way to argue against him. Hajime’s an extremely friendly guy; he’s easy to get along with, a fierce competitor and kind to a fault. It’s impossible not to like him.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” Kei mumbles. It catches Tooru’s attention and he grins again after pouting at his Vice-Captain.

“Meet Tetsurou’s little protégé, Kei.”

Hajime eyes Kei curiously, completely lacking Tooru’s slyness. “‘Little’ is not the word I’d use. Nice to meet you,” he nods, a friendly smile curling his mouth. “I’m Hajime. Sorry about Tooru, he’s just a dickhead, ignore him.”

Kei nods in turn. “Haven’t paid attention to a word he’s said. And nice to meet you too, I’ve watched you play, you’re a very talented.”

“Speaking of protégé’s,” Tetsurou interrupts, ignoring their exchange in favour of contemplating a way to destroy his nemesis. “I hear you lost yours, Tooru. So sad. He was doing so well too, I hear you were quite attached and that the separation was difficult for you.”

Tooru’s top lip curls almost imperceptibly, his jaw clenched even as he smiles rather convincingly. Too bad Tetsurou’s too observant to not notice those small twitches. Tooru clearly isn’t happy about the situation and knowing how close they were – or perhaps even still are – it’s understandable.

“It’s true, my little Tobio abandoned me,” Tooru laments, overly dramatic to mask his real hurt. “He was well on his way to live up to my supreme point guard legacy too. The only saving grace is that he’s moved to your state and is sure to create some problems for Nekodani at the State Championship. I may not even get to see you at Nationals this year.”

By the time he’s finished he’s grinning broadly because he knows he’s won this round. Tetsurou’s eyes are wide as he processes the bombshell that’s been dropped.

They played Tobio Kageyama last year in the practice game and, as a mere freshman, he almost single-handedly destroyed Nekodani’s second string. As a point guard he was never going to steal Tooru’s place but he certainly was well on his way. Tetsurou would even go so far as to say that Tobio would eventually surpass Tooru with the sheer genius of his ability, but Tooru would never admit that, even if he was the kids mentor.

Tetsurou manages to compose himself. “Where’d the genius kid go?”

“Karasuno,” Tooru says the word slowly, mockingly.

Kei flinches beside him. “Karasuno already have a skilled point guard.”

Tooru sniggers. “That’s right, you’re from Karasuno! I remember you now. Well, your little point guard friend will be a benchwarmer from now on. Honestly, I wish our State Championships didn’t line up so I could come see Tobio conquer Nekodani.”

“ _Why_ are you doing this now?” Hajime grunts with annoyance.

“Yeah right! I’ll have you know that our team is a million times better this year and we’ll smash right through your _stupid_ little protégé,” Tetsurou sneers. He knows he’s being juvenile but there is just something about Tooru that pisses him off. “And _then_ go on to destroy Seijou at Nationals!”

“What are you a child?” Kei drawls.

“You wish!” Tooru spits back. “Seijou is twice the team Nekodani will ever be.”

Hajime sighs. “I’m leaving.”

“I’m coming with you,” Kei says quickly, following after him.

“No! Haji, don’t leave me here alone with this brute!” Tooru whines, his voice nothing but playful.

“You’re free to leave of your own damn accord, fucktruck.”

“Tsukki!” Tetsurou calls out.

“I’ll wait by the car.”

Tetsurou watches after them, grinning as he hears Kei ask Hajime ‘are they always like that?’ He’s proud of Kei’s ability to remain unaffected by Tooru’s shit-stirring. Nekodani’s previous shooting guard had a tendency to allow opponents provocation to get to him; Kei’s ability to remain calm will truly be an asset.

It’s quiet though… Too quiet. Tetsurou feels Tooru’s eyes on him, watching him carefully, before turning to meet his scrutinising gaze.

“You were lucky to get Kei,” Tooru comments, his voice lower, falling into their serious Captain talk as soon as the audience is gone. As much as they like to argue, they’ve known each other a while and can fall into an easy rhythm of sincere conversation. “Nekodani were in need of a decent shooting guard.”

“You know him?” Tetsurou asks, but already knows the answer. Tooru knows everyone worthy of knowing, which is truly a testament to Kei’s ability – Tooru has high standards.

“He has one of the most natural shooting forms I’ve ever seen,” he says, holding his arms above his head like he’s shooting a hoop. His brown eyes drop to Tetsurou, a smirk curling his lips. “You seem rather close with him already… You really would make a handsome couple.”

Tetsurou rolls his eyes. “You know I’m as straight, Tooru.”

His eyes narrow. “I know you think you’re all introspective and that you’re comfortable with yourself Tetsurou, but we’re always changing. I don’t think it’s possible for any of us to truly know ourselves. Sometimes, when something changes in us, we’re so blind to it that we’re the last ones to realise. And sometimes we realise too late…” Tooru’s voice, filled with bitterness, trails off and his hand curls into a fist. Tetsurou frowns. “Sometimes we don’t know what we want until it’s already gone.”

“…The kid?”

A rueful smile stretches Tooru’s mouth. “Tobio.”

“Does your girlfriend know?”

“Nope. Only recently figured it out myself.”

“Does _he_ know?”

Tooru shakes his head. “No. And he never will.”

“You could—”

“No Tetsurou. It’s too late. You’ll meet Karasuno at the State Championship and see what I’m talking about.”

Tetsurou sucks is a breath. Tooru can annoy the ever living fuck out of him sometimes, but he’s such a strong person that it’s difficult seeing him this distraught, this lost. It’s unnerving. Upsetting.

“Sorry.”

A chuckle bubbles up Tooru’s throat and he tilts his head impishly, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth as he winks. “Life goes on. See you tomorrow Tetsurou! Better bring you’re A game.”

Tooru pats him on the shoulder before walking away, or rather swaggering away. He walks with all the confidence in the world, it’s annoying how arrogant he can seem, but Tetsurou knows it’s all for show. Just like his silliness. It keeps people guessing and no one will ever know what to expect from him.

The question is, why did he disclose this information to Tetsurou? Tooru seemed to think it was important for Tetsurou to know. Which doesn’t make sense. What would a situation like that have to do with Tetsurou? There is nothing in his life that even comes remotely close to it. Or perhaps he simply wanted an uninvolved third party to talk to about it.

Shaking himself from his contemplation Tetsurou grabs some candy at random and makes his way back out to the car. Kei’s leaning against the passenger side door, long limbs folded casually and gazing out at nothing in particular, seemingly lost in thought. He narrows his eyes on Kei, ‘pretty’, Tooru had said. Is he really? Tetsurou doesn’t really know, he hasn’t thought about it.

Kei looks up at him as he approaches, an amused smirk curling his lips. “So, you were saying something about being ‘really petty’?”

“Shut up.”

 

* * *

 

Arriving at school on a Sunday is always an odd feeling, not that it happens often. The grounds are utterly deserted, free of the writhing masses of teenagers. The modern architecture of the buildings is easier to appreciate, the rendered Nekodani-red walls, the angular design and the professional black and white finish. This is Tetsurou’s fourth year here and yet Nekodani still has an incredibly intimidating front.

He pulls into the gym’s parking lot where Keishin’s car is already parked, even though Tetsurou’s fairly early. Seijou won’t arrive until eleven in the morning but the Nekodani team are arriving at ten to warm up and get the team prepared for the practice game. As team Coach and Captain they have a responsibility to be here even earlier.

“Shit, your hair looks even worse than usual,” Keishin comments as Tetsurou enters his office, sports duffle over his shoulder. “What’d you do? Get out the wrong side of the bed?”

Tetsurou doesn’t even have the energy to be annoyed, he does groan though. “It’s _Sunday_ , the day of rest. I’m not supposed to be awake at this hellish hour, Keish. What are you doing to me?”

Keishin raises an eyebrow. “It’s nine thirty.”

“My point still stands.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing you’re not playing today. Maybe this will cheer you up.”

Keishin spins around on his office chair and walks over to a cardboard box. Tetsurou is too lost in his internal lamenting about not being in bed to even consider what’s in the box that could possibly cheer him up. Then his sleep heavy eyes widen as he sees the swish of bright red material. Walking over with a broad grin, Keishin holds the jersey up.

Tetsurou reaches out to reverently touch the soft, slippery material, tracing the large number one on the back, ‘KUROO’ printed above it in white and trimmed with gold. He’s worn the Nekodani basketball uniform many times before, but this is something special, this is something he’s extraordinarily proud of.

“What, did you forget we’re giving out uniforms today? The players have to wear them for the practice game, remember?”

“Sunday,” Tetsurou responds simply, his eyes still on the jersey.

“Right,” Keishin laughs and hands the jersey over.

“Morning Keish!” Tadashi greets, beaming as he enters the sizable office. Not that Tetsurou notices, he’s too busy petting his precious jersey.

“Hey Dashi, the hell are you so peppy about?” Keishin questions and glances behind Tadashi expectantly. “And where’s Toka?”

Tadashi scratches his cheek awkwardly. “Ah, sorry, she said she’s going to be late. It’s okay, I can do inventory check on the uniforms by myself.”

“I’ll help,” Tetsurou offers. Keishin leaves the office to open up the courts and get the equipment ready while Tetsurou dumps his bag on the ground. Tadashi smiles brightly and thanks him sincerely, seeming much more cheerful than usual. Tetsurou knows exactly why. “So the date went well then?” he asks, shit-eating grin in place.

The pen Tadashi’s holding slips in his fingers and he juggles it until he successfully recaptures it. He blushes deeply, darkening his freckled face. It’s sweet that even the mere mention of it makes him react like this, a happy smile curling his lips uncontrolled at the memory.

“Y-Yes, it went… It went really well,” he says quietly, smiling distractedly down at the papers in front of him. Tetsurou wants to grill him about it, to get all the details of their undoubtedly adorable date, but with the way Tadashi’s smiling to himself Tetsurou feels like he’d be intruding on something special and private. It’s for them and them alone.

“That’s great Freckles, I’m glad,” is all Tetsurou says and then he notices Tadashi’s lack of concentration on the paperwork. “Here, I’ll do that, you go through the jerseys.”

Tadashi hands over the player sheets and pen, apologising, but Tetsurou merely shrugs it off. They go through each player’s uniforms – two sets of red and one of white each – starting with Tetsurou’s going up. Tadashi meticulously checks for defects in the uniforms, making sure they got what they ordered. When they reach Kei’s information sheet though Tetsurou just stops, his eyes widening on the birth date beside his name.

“Tetsu?”

“Tsukki’s birthday is next week!” Tetsurou blurts, disbelieving. As he glances up at Tadashi and sees the uncomfortable grimace on his face he knows it’s true. “What the hell? Why didn’t he tell us?”

“Tsukki doesn’t want anyone to know, he doesn’t want to celebrate his birthday,” Tadashi explains quickly, his voice small and sad as he lowers his head. “I-I don’t know why. I mean, he was never overly fond of the attention it brought but he still used to at least begrudgingly celebrate it with his family and friends… Maybe it’s because of—what happened.”

“What happened?”

“N-No, I can’t—That’s not for me to tell. Or, well, what little I know of it isn’t for me to tell,” Tadashi stutters, panicked.

Tetsurou shakes his head. He didn’t mean to ask, it was just reflex. The fact that Kei lives with his brother, the scar on his head that he’d been too quick to cover and the way he acts around some topics makes it obvious that something horrible happened to him. Hitoka had mentioned Kei having a bad year last year, but Kei seems too well adjusted and unaffected for it to be that recent… but he’s so guarded, the wall he’s constructed around himself makes it impossible to tell.

“I know, sorry.”

“Just please don’t tell plan anything for him, I don’t—I don’t think he could…”

“Handle it. I know,” Tetsurou smiles reassuringly. “It’s okay Freckles, I won’t tell anyone.”

As the topic clearly upsets Tadashi – Tetsurou isn’t too fond of it either, even if he’s curious – Tetsurou starts talking about meeting Tooru in the supermarket. And of course the retelling of their antics brings a smile to Tadashi’s face.

Tetsurou prefers to see his friends that way, smiling.

It’s easy to promise to keep Kei’s birthday a secret. If it affects Kei so much that Tadashi worries about it then it’s serious. As much as he likes to push people, Tetsurou would never intentionally do anything to make Kei upset. He wants to know though, he will never not be curious about Kei’s past. He wants to know what happened to make such a great person become so withdrawn. On rare occasions Tetsurou has glimpsed hints of just how much Kei struggles and it makes his gut twist.

By the time they finish sorting through the Nekodani basketball uniforms most of the team has already arrived. With the cardboard boxes in their arms Tetsurou and Tadashi make their way to the main court where they’ll hand them out. The team is assembled, the last few members coming in to stand with the group before Keishin, Tetsurou and Tadashi. Of course it’s Kei and Kenma, strolling in, indifferent to the fact that they’re five minutes late.

“Okay team, listen up,” Keishin starts, hushing them quickly. “Today are the Seijou practice games. For the first string game the starting line-up will be Keiji, Lev, Shouyou, Tora and Kei but—”

“Aww!” Koutarou whines loudly and Tetsurou chuckles because he was expecting it.

“Koutarou, you already knew you weren’t going to be playing,” Keiji states flatly.

“Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it!”

Keishin rolls his eyes but continues. “I want Kenma on the bench as Keiji’s relief in the second half.”

The plan of today’s practice game is to test two players specifically, Shouyou and Kei. For Shouyou they need to know how his mentality holds up in a real game, if he can weather the opponent’s pressure and taunts since he’s often quick to lose his temper. And for Kei, since they already know he can shoot under pressure and is always composed, they’re testing his ability to function as Keiji’s assist in making plays. Over recent weeks Tetsurou, Keiji and Kei have been working on game play during practice and it’s clear they work well together. Whether that translates in-game is the question. Also Lev, to a lesser extent, is being tested for his ability to replace Tetsurou in next year’s team, and as a possible benched reserve in the upcoming tournament.

None of this is said out loud of course, but they all know it. They know their skills are being assessed. That’s what practice games are for. Even the second string game.

“And for those two games you’re going to need those Nekodani uniforms that you got so meticulously measured for,” Keishin says, half turning to Tadashi to take the first jersey. It’s a fairly ceremonial event so the team straightens and listens attentively. “Obviously, the number one jersey goes to your Captain, Tetsurou Kuroo.”

Tetsurou moves around to shake Keishin’s hand as the Coach almost blushes attempting to say something inspirational about leading the team. Chuckling, Tetsurou takes the jersey from him. _His_ jersey. Number one of Nekodani. Captain of Nekodani.

Keiji is next, accepting the number two straight-faced as Koutarou hoots. Morisuke gets three, smiling gleefully, he’ll be leading the second string this year with Nokuyuki, who gets number eight. Four, the aces number, goes to a very vocally pleased Koutarou. Kenma is number five, Taketora is number six, Akinori is number seven and Lev is number nine, all of them possible reserves for the first string. Shouyou receives his number ten with wide-eyed awe that Tetsurou doesn’t understand. Kei’s called next, getting a firm handshake from Keishin and the number eleven jersey.

Once they all receive their jerseys the team noisily makes their way into the locker rooms. There is a cheerful camaraderie bubbling around the team as they change into their red, white and gold Nekodani uniforms. The only discord is between Shouyou and Kei, where the shorter of the two is teasing the taller about being a higher number. Usually Kei isn’t susceptible to such things, but even as he rolls his eyes at the redhead’s flimsy taunts Tetsurou can see the strain in his careful mask of composure.

When the locker room has cleared out a bit Tetsurou stops Kei as he’s about to leave. The uniform, red as the jacket he’d been wearing yesterday, suits him. The gold trimmings at the collar, around the sleeves and down the sides matching his eyes and hair and the deep, flushed red a beautiful contrast to the exposed fair skin of his arms and neck.

“You’re not nervous are you?” Tetsurou asks, noticing the way Kei has been chewing at his lips while at the meeting and getting changed. “It’s just a practice game Tsukki.”

Gold eyes narrow on him. “When my position on the team is being decided, it’s not ‘ _just’_ anything.”

Tetsurou’s taken back by the power of his words; the hunger to play and to prove himself. When he first met Kei, Tetsurou had been unsure of his spirit, making his way through the trials at try-outs and only doing the bare minimum. But as they’ve trained together the past five weeks Kei has been focussed and determined. Even if Kei is nervous Tetsurou knows he’ll perform well, just like he did in that first game they played against each other.

This is the best answer Kei could have given. Tetsurou isn’t worried about him.

“I’m glad you understand the importance of it,” Tetsurou says, grinning. “Don’t worry about what the Shrimp says. I chose that number for you myself, it is two of my number after all.”

The intensity of Kei’s expression falls and turns into surprise as he blinks at Tetsurou.

Kei swallows hard, and sounds sincere when he quietly says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Tetsurou pats him on his exposed shoulder, his pale skin cool under the heat of Tetsurou’s hand. “Come on, I need you to destroy my nemesis’ team for me.”

In response Kei only rolls his eyes as Tetsurou slings an arms over his shoulders and they make their way out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware the numbers aren't consistent with the actual basketball numbering system, but, since it doesn't affect the story at all, I wanted them to keep their canon numbers as much as possible.


	9. Oddly At Ease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear (important for this chapter). In description text everyone will be referred to by their given name, because it’s set in western society. But when they talk basketball, about other teams, they’ll always refer to them by their family name (a sport thing). Except for in cases of friendship, like Tetsurou and Koutarou’s with the Seijou seniors (third years).  
> Sorry if it's annoying and complicated, but I'm going for consistency. Think of it as a good opportunity to learn their given names! ^_^

Tetsurou’s fingers clench tightly around the hand of his arch nemesis, and Tooru squeezes strongly in turn, each attempting to prove he’s the stronger. Of course it’s always like this when they play, sneering at each other through tight lipped, fake smiles, that probably make them look constipated. Only this time they’re Captains and they have their teammate’s lines up behind them. Some members frown in confusion and others sigh or shake their heads, wishing they didn’t know their idiot Captains.

“You better be prepared to be demolished, fucktruck,” Tetsurou jeers as they continue to shake hands, neither willing to concede and let go.

Tooru’s jaw clenches at the name. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the stink of that animal that died on your head.”

Biting back a growl, Tetsurou squeezes harder.

Behind him he hears Morisuke sigh exasperatedly. “It’s just a practice game, we all know we’re not even playing our best teams… Why are they like this?”

“It’s the principle of the thing!” Koutarou explains, bitterness in his voice as he backs Tetsurou up.

“…What principle?”

“The one about enemies and stuff, y’know, ‘loathe thy enemy’.”

“That’s ‘love thy neighbour’, bird brain,” Akinori corrects, amusement clear in his voice.

“Or maybe it was, enemy of my enemy is my...” Koutarou trails off. “Whatever! The point is he’s our enemy!”

“Let me at ‘em! Hey, beanpole, hold me back,” Shouyou says under his breath – though everyone can hear him – to Kei, who’s standing next to him.

“Sure.”

Shouyou stumbles forward and then glares back at the smirking blond. “What the hell? You were supposed to hold me back!”

“Sorry,” Kei says, not sounding apologetic at all. “You were too quick for my lumbering reflexes. Here.”

The redhead stumbles forward again, when Kei purposely doesn’t hold him once more, and growls back at Kei, who is covering his mouth and snickering. Shouyou stomps back to his position and angrily folds his arms over his chest, turning away from Kei pointedly.

Hajime’s head is in his hand as he shakes his head and heaves an embarrassed sigh. Issei and Takahiro are leaning into each other, smirking with great amusement.

“Hey Makki, you think they’ll be like this all day?”

“They will be if they don’t notice the superglue we put on their hands soon.”

Tetsurou and Tooru jump apart, staring down at their hands, horrified, but there is nothing there. Issei and Takahiro high-five each other before doubling over in laughter, along with most of the Seijou and Nekodani teams, albeit less intensely. While Tooru’s distracted Hajime pulls him back by the collar of his white and turquoise sweat jacket, muttering about ‘shitty idiots’.

Seijou’s head coach, Irihata, watches on, smiling with amusement while Keishin scratches the back of his head and chuckles awkwardly.

“A-All right, let’s get started,” Keishin suggests.

The teams start moving to their designated benches – and to the other court for the second string – most of them ending up in the stands to watch. Before joining them in the stands, Tetsurou and Koutarou join in the huddle with the starting team down at the bench.

“Seijou are a tall team, which is why their in-and-under style is as surprising as it is damaging,” Keishin starts, only summarising as they went over the game-plan in greater detail before Seijou arrived. “Without Oikawa and Iwaizumi their setups won’t be as aggressive or complex, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be simple either. Kunimi and Kindaichi are not to be underestimated.

“Our greatest challenge will be Matsukawa and Hanamaki; Lev and Kei, you’ll have to be cautious with your marks. They’re national level basketballers, they may seem laid-back and jovial but don’t be fooled, they’re competitive. Watari will likely be playing at Nationals this year too, Shouyou, be wary, he’s as agile as you are.”

The team listen intently, they look determined, even if it is only a practice game. After Keishin finishes discussing preferred gameplay, Tetsurou pulls Kei aside.

“Makki’s smart and _quick_ ,” he explains, talking quietly as he stands close to Kei. “He makes plays with Tooru effortless and almost as well. Kunimi will be relying on him a fair bit. Also, you need to time your defensive jump well, Makki jumps much quicker than you do for a three-pointer. But because of it, it’s easier to make him miss. React _faster_ and he won’t sink a three-pointer on you.”

Kei nods sincerely, expressionless in concentration. “Got it.”

Tetsurou grins and pats him on the back. “Good. Also Keish was serious. They’re really competitive even if they don’t show it. Don’t get cocky if you get some points on him; Makki will just push harder and you need to be ready for it. Take it slow with him and remember, have fun Tsukki!”

With that, Tetsurou makes his way over to Koutarou, sitting in the third row of the stands with a clear view of the court. Koutarou grins at him, excited but jittery, likely wishing he was out there playing as much as Tetsurou is. Whistles are blown and the teams get setup on court.

“You think we’ll win?” Koutarou asks.

“This game isn’t about winning or losing, Kou.”

“Everything is about winning and losing!”

Tetsurou’s gaze floats over the five red uniformed players. Shouyou looks pale and as if he’s about to jump out of his skin; Taketora is already starting trouble with Issei who is smirking right back at him; Lev looks stiff; Kei’s biting his lip – but at least his fingers aren’t laced together. Keiji is their only saving grace, looking as calm as ever, his dark green eyes scouring the court.

“We won’t win,” Tetsurou asserts confidently. “Lev hasn’t played someone as experienced as Matsun, even though he’s practiced with me, he’s not strong enough to beat him. I doubt Tsukki has played anyone as cunning as Makki; Makki’s likely going to play circles around him and there won’t be much Tsukki can do about it. If the Shrimp can work well with Keiji and Tsukki he might get them somewhere with Tora’s help. Mostly, they haven’t played enough together.”

Koutarou gasps, as if personally offended. “You don’t think Keiji can lead them through it?”

Tetsurou chuckles and pats his best friend on the leg reassuringly. “Keiji’s good but he’s not _that_ good, I don’t think anyone is. It’s only a practice game bro, it’s not supposed to be perfect. We’re watching to smooth out the kinks.”

“I’ll smooth out _your_ kinks,” Koutarou says, laughing at his own joke and elbowing Tetsurou in the side as if he’s not going to get it.

“I like my kinks the way they are thank you very much!” he pouts playfully.

His eyes move to the court as the ball is thrown up and the game starts. Issei wins the tap down, because Lev mistimed his jump, and the balls goes straight to Takahiro but Kei is on him quickly, blocking his path. Because of the pressure Takahiro is forced to pass back to Akira for a play setup rather than doing it himself. For Nekodani it's better that way. Akira is young and probably not as good of a game strategist as Takahiro. If Kei can continue to keep them playing that way it will make the game much easier for Nekodani.

It’s the first time Tetsurou’s watched Kei play against someone other than himself, outside of the training scenarios he plays against Lev or Keiji at practice. From this vantage point he can see how he moves, methodical and measured. Kei’s long limbs make him look deceptively slow but when playing against him it doesn’t feel that way, he moves almost as quickly as Tetsurou. His lean body makes him look deceptively weak but Tetsurou knows firsthand just how strong he is, especially through the hips, he’s defensively unmovable at times.

Shinji makes the first score, weaving through the defence skilfully. Koutarou makes a frustrated noise that’s mirrored by Shouyou on court. He’s going to have to move faster if he’s going to keep up with Shinji.

Lev throws in to Keiji who makes his way down court with ease. Akira defends him well but Keiji’s not completely denied from making a play, he could if he truly wanted to, but Keiji passes to Kei. This is why they have Keiji on court after all, to test how he works with Kei. The ball barely settles in Kei’s left hand before he passes powerfully and quickly to Taketora. Takahiro and Yuutarou have no time to react or defend and Taketora dunks it, celebrating excessively, Koutarou doing the same.

Tetsurou grins proudly as he watches Takahiro size up Kei, surprised.

Even if Tooru, the proficient researcher, had told them about Kei’s three-pointers and game sense, they clearly hadn’t expected him to play so efficiently with Keiji after one month. Keiji had passed that ball without even a glance in Kei’s direction and Kei had reacted without hesitation. It's unusual how synchronised they are, it had even surprised Tetsurou in practice, and it will be an asset through this year’s tournament.

“Woah, did Tora even know that was coming?” Koutarou asks, his arms crossed and his brow furrowed. “It looked like he fumbled a little.”

Tetsurou nods, leaning forward and setting his elbows on his knees. “He did fumble, he had no idea it was coming and was lucky to score. Wherein lies the problem. Keiji adjusts his passes to inside players because he understands what they need. Kei doesn’t have that ability, but because of that he can move the ball faster, even Keiji can if he needs less time to adjust. It’s just something we’ll develop when we start playing actual games in training over the next few months.”

The quarter continues on, the team's scoring back and forth and the score remaining close. Kei has done exactly what Tetsurou told him to do and hasn’t scored any three-pointers, mostly relying on Taketora and Lev. Shouyou has been unreliable, seemingly a little overwhelmed by his first game.

“You think Shrimpy will be okay?” Koutarou asks, sounding nervous. When Tetsurou glances at his best friend, he’s sitting on the edge of his seat, carefully watching Keishin talk to Shouyou and worrying at his lip. The two of them have been practising plays together and Koutarou thinks of himself as Shouyou’s mentor. To say they’ve bonded is an understatement.

“Yeah bro, don’t worry. He’s resilient, he’s not the type to stay down for long. It’s important for him to be able to pick himself back up and to rely more on his teammates. Kid’s a fast learner, you know that. He’ll be fine,” Tetsurou assures him, bumping their shoulders together.

Koutarou agrees loudly, pumping his fists in the air, but he still looks concerned.

Tetsurou glances down at the bench, he frowns when he sees Kenma approach Keiji. Kenma seems to be explaining something, his eyes flickering over to Shouyou and a fire of determination burning in them that he usually reserves for his video games. His shoulders are set and his hand is clenched into a fist; this is important to Kenma, likely information to help Shouyou ease into the game. Keiji nods almost imperceptibly and now Tetsurou truly isn’t worried.

His gaze moves over the team, assessing Lev’s fatigue and Taketora’s mindset, until it lands on a head of golden blond hair. Tetsurou watches as Kei tilts his head back and drinks from the bottle Hitoka handed him. His every movement seems leisurely, elegant. It’s why he can make people feel inferior simply by looking down on them with his intense golden-brown eyes. Kei’s head comes back down when he finishes drinking and he presses the back of his hand against his lips.

“Do you think Tsukki’s attractive?” Tetsurou asks, unable to forget Tooru’s words yesterday. When he turns to Koutarou he sees a deep what-the-fuck frown creasing his forehead. Tetsurou’s worried that Koutarou thinks he’s accusing him of cheating or—

“Of course he is!”

Now Tetsurou frowns. “…Really?”

“Fuck yes dude! What are you _blind_?”

Tetsurou chuckles. “Er, straight, but I guess it’s kind of the same thing. Does Keiji know of this opinion of yours?”

“Ha! Keiji was the one who pointed it out, I tend not to notice these things,” Koutarou says, smiling smugly. “It’s hard to see pretty people when I get to be with the _most_ blindingly beautiful person every day of my life. Why do you ask bro?”

“It was just something Tooru said yesterday,” Tetsurou admits, scratching his cheek. “It just made me think… I mean, Tsukki seems so guarded, I doubt he’s ever let anyone get close enough to really _know_ him or feel—” Tetsurou’s eyes go wide, overly dramatic when he gasps, “Dude, you probably stole his first kiss!”

Koutarou snorts. “Yeah, right. Tsukki’s been kissed before.”

“What? One peck on the lips and you know his entire kissing history?”

Setting his features into an all-knowing expression Koutarou nods wisely. “Trust me, bro.”

“I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it, oh wise one,” Tetsurou jokes, grinning broadly. “It’s not like Tsukki would ever tell me.”

“Why do you even care?”

Tetsurou knows why and knows it has nothing to do with who Kei has or hasn’t kissed. It’s about everything Kei keeps to himself. Even Tadashi doesn’t know for sure why he doesn’t want to celebrate his birthday. Perhaps he confides in Akiteru, but Tetsurou somehow doubts it. Does anyone truly know Kei?

It worries Tetsurou; he doesn’t like the idea of Kei suffering alone, locked behind those walls he’s built up around himself. Tetsurou merely shrugs though. It’s not like he can express any of this, it wouldn’t be fair to Kei.

“I don’t really care but… Sometimes I feel like Tsukki’s such a mystery it makes me question whether I know him at all. Call me old fashioned but I like to know my friends.”

“You don’t have to know _everything_.”

“Dude, you literally message me every time Keiji so much as accidentally touches you.”

“Every touch is important!” Koutarou argues, his voice high pitched.

“And I appreciate that you share those important moments with me,” Tetsurou grins at his friend.

He turns back to the court in time to see Keiji discreetly speak a few words to Shouyou.

The whistle is blown and the second quarter starts. Intercepting a pass, Taketora immediately gives off to Kei. His pass to Keiji, down the other end of the court, is like a bullet and Keiji receives it with ease sizing up their attack before he even has the ball. Without hesitation Keiji shoots from outside the three-point line.

At least it looks like he’s shooting.

Keiji misses the hoop, but to everyone’s surprise Shouyou is in the air, higher than should be possible for someone of his stature. With almost inhuman reflexes, Shouyou snatches the ball out of the air and twists his body to dunk it through the hoop. He hangs there for a moment, eyes sharp and intense – lacking usual brightness – like a bird focussing on its newly spotted prey.

When Shouyou’s feet hit the ground a grin breaks out uncontrolled across his face and he hollers in celebration. Tetsurou smiles with him and Koutarou rises to his feet, loudly hooting for his ‘bird son’.

Tetsurou’s gaze wanders down to where Kenma is sitting on the bench. A smile warmer than Tetsurou has ever seen brightens his best friend’s face. Kenma looks proud and happy, openly so. More than any score the team makes, or any progress for the team, Tetsurou is happy for Kenma.

 

* * *

 

“Your boy played well,” Tooru comments, sauntering over to Tetsurou after the practice game.

The teams are currently warming down, stretching as they listen carefully to their coaches. The game, though starting fairly slow, quickly grew intense in the second half. Taketora, Shouyou and Lev became rather vocal as Shouyou finally found his footing, and Seijou became competitive in response. Especially Takahiro when Kei started shooting three-pointers.

In the end Seijou won by a small margin, as Tetsurou knew they would, but the Nekodani team learned invaluable information about their areas to work on. Therefore, mission accomplished. As much as he would have loved to rub it in Tooru’s face.

“He did,” Tetsurou agrees, knowing that pointing out the fact that Kei isn’t _his_ boy will only lead to ‘how did you know I meant him?’

“Makki destroyed him of course, but that is to be expected.”

Tetsurou clenches his jaw, controlling the urge to snap back and defend Kei. While he may have lost the shooting guard match up with Takahiro, he certainly wasn’t ‘destroyed’. But Tooru knows that, he’s simply attempting to get a rise out of Tetsurou.

“You’re new protégé is coming along nicely,” Tetsurou says instead, subtly hitting a nerve of the missing figure of Tobio in the white and turquoise uniform. Tooru doesn’t act as he expects though, his eyes glazing over as he stares at Akira.

“Akira’s has a great ability to connect with his teammates, knows what they need and has a good understanding of complex gameplay,” Tooru recites. “He’ll be a wonderful point guard.”

Tetsurou hears the ‘but he’s not Tobio’ even if the other doesn’t say it. The wistfulness in his voice is unmistakeable and Tetsurou doubts Tooru’s unfair mental comparison has anything to do with their ability. In Tooru’s brown eyes he can see the longing, the hurt; he’s never experienced anything like that, a desperate need for someone. For basketball yes. But basketball doesn’t have emotions or a personality or an ability to reject and hurt him. If this is what love does to someone, Tetsurou certainly doesn’t want it.

After the warm down stretches are complete and Seijou is packed up, Nekodani escort them out to their bus like a good host team. Which, of course, is as tense as when they arrived. At least to Tetsurou.

“I would say it’s been a pleasure, but it really hasn’t,” Tetsurou says, smile tight, but not as tight as his grip on Tooru’s hand.

“I would wish you luck but it would be a lie, I wish you no luck,” Tooru responds, his smile more convincingly sincere than Tetsurou’s but just as bitter.

“Good, we don’t need _luck_.”

“Poor, delusional Tetsurou. I don’t know what game you were watching,” Tooru singsongs. “But luck is the only way you’ll meet us at Nationals.”

“Please tell me they’re not doing this again,” Morisuke sighs from behind Tetsurou.

“They’re not doing this again,” Kei repeats the words dryly.

“It didn’t help.”

“Didn’t think it would.”

Most of the Seijou team are on the bus, ready to go, except for the seniors. Hajime is having a pleasant conversation with Keiji and Koutarou, while Issei and Takahiro snicker about their Captain’s idiocy, inside jokes murmured between them.

“Hey fucktruck, you have a shit stain on your ass,” Takahiro tells Tooru, his voice matter-of-fact even though Tetsurou can see the shit-eating grin spread across his face.

Tooru doesn’t react, his overly-friendly-but-not-at-all-friendly gaze never leaving Tetsurou.

“Wow, now that’s rivalry commitment. Not even worrying about the embarrassing stain on the ass of his white pants,” Issei remarks, sounding more sincere than his counterpart. It makes Tooru’s eye twitch but he still doesn’t move.

Finishing his conversation, Hajime turns to his fellow seniors with a scowl and commands them to get on the bus. Of course Tooru doesn’t listen. Not paying much attention, Tetsurou flinches almost as much as Tooru does when Hajime smacks Tooru upside the head.

“Haji,” he whines, touching at his hair and pretending that’s all he cares about. “Be careful, you’ll ruin my hair.” Hajime levels an obey-or-die stare at his best friend and Tooru rolls his eyes. “Fine, fine, I’m going. You ruin all the fun, Haji.”

“See you at Nationals, Tetsu,” Hajime says before dragging a sulky Tooru onto the bus.

The Nekodani team waves goodbye – Tetsurou flipping off Tooru and receiving a kick to the shin from Morisuke – before heading into the locker rooms to change. The boys are loud and excited in the wake of the practice game and the strong team they played, enthusing over certain parts of the game. Shouyou and Lev, once consoled by Tetsurou, bounce around happily with Koutarou and animatedly discuss things they would do differently.

Through the excitement Tetsurou notices a blond head of hair moving towards the door and turns to see Kei leaving. Quickly fixing the collar of his red Nekodani jacket, he runs after Kei.

“Oi Tsukki!” he calls out, catching up to him by the trophy case in the corridor. “Good game. You have plenty to work on, but Makki isn’t an opponent to scoff at, you played really well against him.”

Kei blinks, barely registering the compliment. “I’ll do better next time.”

“I didn’t mean… I know you will,” Tetsurou says, knowing that no amount of compliments will be accepted or believed and moving on. There is a _reason_ he stopped Kei. “What are you doing Friday night?”

Almost imperceptibly, Kei’s eyes widen before he gets control of himself, mask of indifference in place and so disciplined he doesn’t even avert his gaze. Kei’s long fingers grip at the strap of his bag; Tetsurou pretends not to notice.

“Nothing, probably homework and sleep.”

Tetsurou silently and diligently watches him, waiting for a crack to appear, waiting for some recognition that Friday is his birthday. But nothing happens. Kei truly doesn’t wish to celebrate his birthday, doesn’t even want to acknowledge that it’s happening. Maybe he cares so little about it that he’s forgotten. After all, why remember something you don’t even care about.

Tetsurou feels himself getting angry and curls his hand into a fist. Before he can do something stupid, like flat out demand to know why Kei refuses to celebrate the day of his birth, Kei interrupts him, an eyebrow raised.

“If you’re going to ask me to play one-on-one with you, I refuse.”

“No, I was just curious,” Tetsurou responds, but offers nothing more, simply staring at Kei aimlessly.

“All right… I have to go, Aki’s probably waiting for me,” Kei says slowly, like he’s talking to an invalid. He may as well be for all the attention Tetsurou is paying. He does hear Akiteru’s name though.

“Say hi to Aki for me,” Tetsurou somehow manages to say to Kei’s retreating form.

In a daze Tetsurou makes his way back into the locker room, barely answering his teammates when they pass saying ‘see you later Captain.’ He wants to know why. Why won’t Kei celebrate? Why does he keep everyone at an arm’s length? Why has he isolated himself? What _happened_ to him? The questions swim around his mind continuously.

“Kuro?”

Kenma’s voice, even as quiet as it is, draws him from his thoughts, and he realises why when he looks around at the now empty locker room. As Tetsurou gazes down at his reserved best friend, who keeps everything to himself, he realises something. It doesn’t matter ‘why’, Kei will open up to him when he’s ready. All Tetsurou can do is be there for him.

“What are you doing?” Kenma asks, his brow furrowed.

“Oh, sorry Ken, I just got a bit lost in strategizing,” he lies and if Kenma notices he doesn’t say anything. “I just have to go talk to Keish and then we can go.”

Merely nodding, Kenma pulls out his PSP and wordlessly follows Tetsurou out of the locker room. Dumping his bag by the door, Tetsurou takes the seat across from Keishin and Kenma quietly sits next to him, eyes on his game. On the walls of the coach’s office are posters of Jordan and LeBron, calendars for the team’s training and tournament schedule, team structures with their names and multiple strategy sheets.

“Tetsu, Kenma,” Keishin glances up at them from his desk, raising an eyebrow. “You’re still here? What’s up?”

“I want to invite Karasuno to our training camp,” Tetsurou states without preamble.

This makes Kenma glance up at him, but Tetsurou’s focus is on Keishin, who frowns.

“Karasuno… Why?”

“They’re a strong team, even before Tobio Kageyama transferred there,” he says, and judging by Keishin’s lack of reaction he already knew, which isn’t surprising. “Practicing with them will be a great benefit to us. Stronger opponents mean better training. We have multiple connections with them, Kei and Hitoka and you… I’m sure they’d appreciate the invite.”

“M-Me?”

Tetsurou smirks, not missing the flush that colours Keishin’s cheeks. Karasuno’s head coach, Ikkei Ukai, is Keishin’s grandfather. But, more than that, Keishin has a poorly concealed relationship with Karasuno’s assistant coach, Ittetsu Takeda. Clearly Keishin’s first thought is for his partner, because Tetsurou could just as easily be hinting at his grandfather.

“Yeah… Your grandfather?”

“Oh...” Keishin’s blush deepens with embarrassment as he realises his mistake, he clears his throat, “right. That’s, uh, a good idea, I’ll get in contact with Itte—with my grandfather. I’ll let you know when they respond. Go on now, you kids should get your asses home.”

Saying farewell to Keishin, who stubbornly refuses to even glance up at them, Tetsurou leads Kenma out of the office and out to the car. The whole way Tetsurou can feel Kenma’s eyes on him, can feel that his best friend has something to say. Kenma doesn’t say anything though and it leaves Tetsurou uncomfortable not knowing.

“What?” he questions as they get in the car.

Kenma pauses his game but barely turns his head to meet Tetsurou’s gaze. “Why do you want to invite Karasuno? And don’t tell me it’s because of Tobio.”

Tetsurou frowns. “What else would it be?”

Kenma searches his expression and, likely only finding confusion, turns back to his game, barely moving his shoulders to shrug in response.

 

* * *

 

Kenma lazily sorts through his messy locker, attempting to find a book he needs for History homework. Since they had the practice game yesterday they don’t have training this afternoon. Which is good. Kenma played an intense half game of basketball yesterday and it’s enough for the week. Or, at least, until tomorrow afternoon.

He likes basketball, the strategies make sense to him and they’re even fun to play out to defeat an enemy… team. Like in League of Legends or Starcraft. Though he much prefers games where he doesn’t have to rely on other people. Other people tend to be unreliable. But his team, Nekodani, are reliable; Kenma liked playing with them yesterday. He liked the way he could work with Kei effortlessly, Lev was a pain but Taketora was always in the right place at the right time. However, the person Kenma liked playing with most was definitely Shouyou. The way he moved and—

Kenma jolts as he notices someone standing beside him, round sunset-orange eyes focusing intently on him. Kenma doesn’t think he was so lost in thought that the usually loud and talkative Shouyou could sneak up on him. And yet there he is, sending butterflies fluttering through his stomach with his mere presence.

“Shouyou… How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long,” Shouyou responds, his voice softer than usual and his smile nowhere near as blinding.

“What are you doing here?” Kenma asks, glancing around the rapidly emptying junior corridor. Shouyou’s locker is two buildings over, he must have run to get here. He’s not out of breath, but then he’s very physically fit so it probably wouldn’t show.

“Oh, I um,” Shouyou mumbles, scratching his cheek. “I wanted to ask if you’d like to come over… To my house. This afternoon. N-Now…”

Kenma feels his eyes widen and wishes they didn’t; he wishes he had more control like Kei or Keiji. The response that immediately builds at the back of his throat is ‘yes’, but he bites it back as anxiety kicks him in the gut, twisting uncomfortably. Being in a strange, new house, specifically in Shouyou’s house… Kenma averts his gaze to his locker.

“I need to do my homework,” Kenma says quietly. Then mutters under his breath, “If I can ever find my book.”

There is movement beside him and when he looks back he finds Shouyou kneeling in front of his locker, digging into the lose sheets of paper at the bottom. He straightens and holds a book out for Kenma, smiling warmly.

“You mean this book?”

Kenma swallows, his skin burning where their fingers touch as he takes the textbook. “Yes, thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” Shouyou salutes, which is an odd thing to do, but Kenma doesn’t mind. “Um, but you can do your homework at my house, I promise I won’t annoy you! I should probably do mine too, I suppose. I hate it though. Especially Math. I mean, what are all those numbers good for anyway? They don’t even make sense.”

“I can help,” Kenma blurts, his thought process all of: _I’m good at Maths_. “I mean, if you would like.”

Shouyou’s eyes light up to their usual brightness. “Really? That would be _awesome_! Thanks Kenma!”

“I haven’t done anything yet. I might be no help at all.”

“I bet you will be. Anyway, it’ll be fun just to have you there.”

His words are light with innocent sincerity and he smiles gleefully, even as a faint blush colours his cheeks. Kenma is good at reading people, he can see every twitch and fidget as lies and deception spew from people’s mouths. Everyone lies, sometimes insignificantly and sometimes ridiculous in their enormity. But with Shouyou, it’s like lying is never even an option, not something he would even consider. It’s simultaneously refreshing and terrifying.

“Are you ready to go?” Shouyou asks when Kenma doesn’t respond. Kenma quickly glances back at his locker when he realises he’s been staring.

“Ah, yeah,” Kenma mumbles, shoving the book in his bag and closing his locker.

“Okay! Let’s— _oomph—_ ”

“Do you ever look where you’re going?” Kei’s drawling voice draws Kenma’s attention, his tall form looming over an instantly annoyed Shouyou. “Or just barrel blindly down any path you want?”

“Lamp posts _aren’t_ supposed to move _into_ my way!”

Kei barely registers the complaint, his sharp eyes flickering to Kenma from behind black-rimmed glasses. Even before Kei has been told what’s happening there is a sense of understanding in his eyes. Tetsurou knows how Kenma feels about Shouyou, they’ve been best friends – practically brothers – for so long, there is no way Tetsurou doesn’t know. And therefore Kei knows.

Tetsurou and Kei have been close lately, spending more time together than with anyone else. Which makes sense considering the relationships that have developed between the people they’d usually spend time with. Kenma’s grateful for it, it means Tetsurou annoys him less. But it also means Tetsurou shares a lot of information with Kei. It’s a good thing Kenma trusts Kei, or he’d be rather uncomfortable about it.

“You aren’t coming,” Kei says, it’s not a question.

Kenma shakes his head, no. “Can you tell Kuro I’ll message him to pick me up?”

Before answering, Kei’s eyes drop to Shouyou and narrow for a threatening moment before he looks back up at Kenma and nods an affirmative. Kei’s been protective ever since the incident with Keiji being bullied. Nothing overtly obvious, just wary glances and subtle intimidation. It’s not really necessary anymore, but sometimes, at lunch, Kenma catches people staring at him and then going wide-eyed before quickly looking away.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Kei says, turning on his heel and walking away.

“What the hell is his problem?” Shouyou questions, turning to Kenma frowning. “He looked at me like I was doing something wrong. I was just standing here!”

Explaining that Kei’s worried Shouyou will hurt him clearly isn’t an option, so Kenma simply shrugs and says, “You were rude to him.” Which is the wrong thing to say.

“Kei started it! He’s always mean to me!”

“We should go,” Kenma mumbles and starts walking down the corridor, hoping to end this topic of conversation. The rift between Shouyou and Kei is exhausting and unnecessary, Kenma doesn’t understand it. Shouyou races after him and practically skips by his side while they make their way out of the building.

“I mean, he’s so damn tall and he doesn’t do _anything_ awesome with it, like dunking! He’s so close to the net already. And he can jump higher than I can, you know, because of his height advantage, which is _basically_ cheating. He’s such an asshole to me. I don’t know why he hates me.”

“Kei doesn’t hate you and you’re mean to each other,” Kenma huffs exasperatedly.

Shouyou groans and slaps a hand to his forehead. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to ramble like that. I just… I don’t know what to do. We’re going to have to work together, it’s _important_ that we work together, but I feel like everything I do annoys him.”

Kenma smiles and lowers his eyes to the footpath in front of him, hoping that Shouyou doesn’t see it. Shouyou adores basketball, he radiates excitement when he’s on the basketball court. Kenma likes seeing him like that, happy to be somewhere he belongs.

“Maybe just instead of snapping back at him next time, bite back your words and respond calmly,” Kenma suggests, slipping his hands into the pockets of his blazer as they walk out into the cold air. “If you do that he won’t have anything to ridicule. And maybe if you keep doing it he’ll care less because he can’t get under your skin.”

In his periphery Kenma sees Shouyou’s eyes narrow on him thoughtfully. “Hm. If you think that will work then I trust you, Kenma. You’re super smart after all!”

Kenma has no idea how to respond to that, so he doesn’t, swallowing hard as silence falls between them. Usually Kenma likes silence, but with Shouyou, who’s usually so talkative, it feels awkward. At least it does when Shouyou is _being_ awkward. Kenma can see Shouyou’s fingers twitching restlessly by his side – but just the one closest to Kenma, like he wants to hold his hand – and his eyes flitting nervously, glancing at Kenma.

Thankfully Shouyou’s house is close, directly opposite the school, and they arrive promptly. He fumbles with his key before sliding it into the lock and walking in, holding the door politely for Kenma.

“Shou, honey, is that you?”

“Yes mom!” he calls out in response.

Shouyou leads Kenma into the living room where her pleasant voice came from. The house seems only marginally larger than Kenma’s, but there are four of them living in the Hinata residence. Shouyou, his parents and his younger sister.

A woman in lavender coloured medical scrubs walks in as Shouyou dumps his bag on the sofa. With curly, bright orange hair escaping its tied-back confines and large eyes that widen when she notices Kenma and smiles, it’s clear who Shouyou takes after.

“Oh, you have a friend over.”

“Mom, this is Kenma,” Shouyou responds so that Kenma doesn’t have to introduce himself.

“ _Oh_ , Kenma! I’m Maiko, it’s nice to finally meet you,” she says with all the earnestness Shouyou speaks with.

“ _Mom_.”

Maiko laughs, ruffling her son’s hair as she moves past them. “Sorry, sorry. I would love to stay to get to know you better Kenma but I have to go to work. Shou, can you please do your chores before you—”

“But _mom_ , Kenma’s here!”

“I know, honey, but you know your dad can’t do it and I won’t be home until late. It won’t take long and I’m sure Kenma has some study he can do whilst he waits.”

Shouyou groans but stomps away, muttering to himself about the ‘stupid garbage’. Kenma watches after him in amusement before anxiety shakes through him at being alone with Shouyou’s mother. But when he turns back to her she’s smiling as brilliantly as Shouyou does and Kenma relaxes automatically at the familiar sight.

“Don’t worry hon, he won’t be long,” Maiko reassures him. Running a hand through her messy hair she glances down at her watch. “I have to go, make yourself at home Kenma!”

Maiko grabs her bag and keys before rushing out the door. The house is quiet except for the sounds of Shouyou’s grumbling from in the kitchen and a car starting out the front. Kenma turns slowly, his eyes floating over the happy family photos on the walls and basketball trophies displayed proudly on the mantle. It’s a nice house; with a worn in sofa and scuffed carpet it’s homely and warm. He expects to feel uncomfortable, standing alone in an unfamiliar place, but he doesn’t, he feels oddly at ease.

Kenma sits down on the sofa next to Shouyou’s bag, sitting his own down more carefully beside the sofa. He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the message he received on their way over. Considering the fact that his phone vibrated not two minutes after Kei left, Kenma already knows who it’s from.

 **[03:11] kuro**  
_have fun on your hot date ^_^_

Rolling his eyes, Kenma shoves the phone back into his pocket, he can feel the warmth in his cheeks and chooses to ignore it. Luckily a distraction has entered the room in the form of a miniature version of Shouyou.

Standing at the doorway with wild orange hair, tied into two small pigtails, is a little girl Kenma knows to be Natsu. Her brown eyes, a few shades darker than Shouyou’s, stare at him and Kenma fidgets a little under her intense gaze. It reminds him of the look Shouyou gets when he’s completely focussed on playing basketball.

Without so much as a word Natsu makes her way over to the sofa, shoves Shouyou’s bag off with a loud _thud_ , and climbs up to sit next to Kenma. She sits there for a moment, her eyes moving over Kenma’s face, considering. Kenma gets judged by a lot of people, but this, by far, is the most nervous he’s been.

“You have really pretty hair,” Natsu decides finally. Her expression softens with sincerity and a smile slowly curls her mouth. “Can I play with it?”

Kenma feels himself relax, as if he’s just passed an all-important test. There is something calming about children, their innocence and lack of expectations leave Kenma comfortable in their presence.

He shrugs. “Okay.”

Just like that her small round face lights up before she scrambles off the sofa and scurries out of the room. Agile and quick, Natsu returns with a little bag and hands it to Kenma before clambering onto the sofa once more. She stands on it and confidently takes Kenma’s shoulders to turn him so she has access to the back of his head. Of course she’s too small to actually move him, so Kenma twists on the sofa, holding the bag up for her.

Taking a small brush out of the bag, Natsu sets to work brushing out Kenma’s hair. It feels nice against his scalp, she’s a little rough brushing through the tangles but Kenma doesn’t mind, he tends to brush through it roughly himself.

“Why is your hair two colours?” Natsu questions curiously.

“I dyed it blond and it grew out.”

There is a pause in which Kenma can feel her little hands smooth down his hair.

“You shouldn’t,” she says with certainty. “The two colours are cool but—your black hair is really the prettiest. I like black hair. I wish my hair was black and straight and soft like yours.”

Kenma can feel a smile curling his lips. “Your hair’s pretty too, much prettier than mine.”

 _It suits you, free and bright, just like you,_ Kenma thinks. But since he just met Natsu he knows those thoughts are directed at her older brother.

“You think so?” she asks, uncertain but hopeful. “Mom tells me that too, but she has the same hair so she can’t decide.”

“I definitely think so, your hair is beautiful.”

Natsu makes a happy hum noise in response, her focus going back to her work. When she’s satisfied with the softness of Kenma’s hair, she pulls out some sparkly clips and hair-ties with cats on them. Her fingers pull through his hair as bits and pieces get pulled into ties and clipped back. Soon, Kenma feels exposed as the hair that usually hangs around his face is clipped back.

“Done!” Natsu announces happily, tugging at his shoulder to turn him around. When Kenma turns around her eyes widen and she beams at him, clapping her hands happily. “So pretty Kenma! You look so pretty.”

Kenma smiles softly. “Thank you, Natsu.”

“Natsu, what are you doing? You better not be annoying—”

Shouyou pauses mid-step, his jaw dropping open comically and Kenma would find it amusing but he’s too busy turning bright red, his heart hammering in his chest. Shouyou is staring at him, _staring_ , even as his face flushes with embarrassment.

“K-Kenma, your face…” Shouyou murmurs, and Kenma is about to duck his head when he says, “You’re so pretty.”

“That’s what I said!” Natsu asserts.

It’s true, but it means something completely different coming from Shouyou. And with the way he’s staring, awed and adoring. It means… It means…

“Er,” Shouyou clears his throat, grabbing his bag roughly off the ground, a book falling out that he scrambles to pick up. “Natsu, you should go hang out with dad, me and Kenma have homework to do.”

“Aww, but I wanna play with Kenma!” Natsu whines, grabbing onto Kenma’s arm possessively. This brings a smile back to Shouyou’s face. “Kenma has the prettiest hair, so much better than yours!”

“Yeah, he does, but we have to do homework. If you leave us alone for a couple hours to do our homework I promise I’ll read you the long story before bed.”

She gasps. “With the princess voice?”

“With the princess voice.”

“Deal!” Natsu turns to Kenma and plants a small kiss on his cheek. “Promise you’ll come back to let me play with your pretty hair again?”

“I promise,” Kenma says quietly, glancing at Shouyou before answering.

She flies out of the room with a loud, successful cheer and leaves silence in her wake. Kenma straightens on the couch and starts to take clips and ties out of his hair, needing something to focus on other than the way Shouyou is looking at him.

“Where’s your dad?” Kenma asks, curiosity mixed with an uncharacteristic need to fill the silence.

“He’s in his bedroom, he gets tired easily and has to rest a lot,” Shouyou answers, unhesitant, waiting patiently for Kenma.

“Why?”

Had Kenma been paying enough attention he would have realised the idiocy of his question; he would have noticed the red flag in the previous statement; he would have realised ‘why’ without having to ask. But he’s too distracted with his need to be distracted.

“Dad’s sick, he has cancer.”

Kenma’s eyes widen and his head swiftly turns to Shouyou. As he does this the clips he’s holding pulls painfully in his hair and gets stuck.

“Ow, shit,” Kenma mutters, fingers unsuccessfully working to free the clip.

Shouyou giggles. “They get stuck in my hair all the time. Here, let me.”

With a smile on his face, despite their conversation, Shouyou dumps his bag and sits beside Kenma. Shouyou’s tongue hangs out his mouth adorably as he takes the stuck clip, their fingers grazing at the exchange. Concentration settles across his features as he untangles the clip with more care than Kenma has ever seen him use. Shouyou is leaning in close, his full attention on Kenma’s hair, and Kenma can’t help but watch him.

At first glance Shouyou’s home life looks perfect, Kenma might have even been a little jealous. A loving mother who works hard and knows her children well, smiling and encouraging, wonderfully kind. A little sister who’s fun and cute, intelligent for her age, confident and eager. Shouyou, all of those things and more; talented, driven, happy… But nothing is perfect.

Kenma doesn’t know how sick Shouyou’s father is, but that much bed rest generally isn’t a good thing. How they all manage to remain their sunny, joyful selves Kenma may never know. All he knows is they’re incredibly brave and strong.

“There,” Shouyou says triumphantly.

The clip comes free of Kenma’s hair, the damaged strands falling across his face. He barely notices though, watching Shouyou and more than used to having hair in his face. Shouyou’s eyes meet Kenma’s and he smiles. Kenma feels frozen as Shouyou’s hand comes up to brush the hair out of his face, the tips of his fingers skimming his forehead and cheek. Shouyou tucks his hair behind his ear and Kenma’s heartbeat sounds deafeningly loud in the silence of the room as his hand lingers at Kenma’s neck.

“I don’t remember what it’s like to have a mother,” Kenma speaks quietly, not sure why he’s saying it but feeling like he needs to. “But I don’t know what I’d do without my father. I hope… I hope… If you ever need to, um, talk or—something, I’m always here.”

Shouyou’s lips curl into a rueful smile. “Thank you Kenma,” Shouyou says, his voice softer than Kenma has ever heard. Shouyou stands up and he instantly misses his touch. “I might take you up on that. But for now you need to help me with my Math! You promised!”

Kenma smiles. “I didn’t promise anything.”

“You said you would help!” he pouts.

“I did.”

Shouyou beams a victorious grin as Kenma straightens. They collect their bags and make their way into the kitchen where there is a rectangular dining table that Shouyou says he always does his homework at. It seems far too formal for the Shouyou he knows and suspects that he usually does his homework on his bed and doesn’t want to suggest that.

It doesn’t take them long to get settled in on one side of the table, numerous books sprawled in front of them. Kenma leans into Shouyou’s space to point out equations in his textbook and explain. He notices the glazed over look in those rust-brown eyes.

“Shouyou, are you paying attention?” Kenma asks, side-eying him.

“I totally forgot!”

Shouyou turns to Kenma, sets a hand firmly at his neck and jaw and pulls him closer to peck his cheek. Unlike Natsu’s, this kiss is forceful, it’s pressed against the corner of his mouth and Shouyou sucks at his skin slightly. Kenma turns to Shouyou slowly with wide eyes.

“What was that for?” Kenma distantly hears himself ask.

“For yesterday! You told Keiji how to pass to me and I forgot to thank you. Also for being super fun to play with!” Shouyou enthuses, smiling broadly.

Kenma blinks, once again blown away by Shouyou’s words and uncertain how to respond. Without thinking his gaze drops to Shouyou’s lips, he leans in quickly and kisses him. Their noses are squished together awkwardly and it’s a mere press of chapped lips but Shouyou is soft and warm and everything Kenma knew he would be. When Kenma realises what he’s doing he pulls back quickly and air rushes out of his lungs.

“I don’t know why I did that…” he mumbles, panicking and trembling, until he sees Shouyou’s giddy smile.

“I’m glad you did,” Shouyou almost whispers.

Uninhibited a smile curls Kenma’s lips. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amazing [KenHina art](http://luheichou13.tumblr.com/post/144797834764/for-the-amazing-writer-saro-my-favourite-scene) for this chapter by [luheichou](http://luheichou13.tumblr.com/)!


	10. Bury My Love (For You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to sincerely thank you all so much for reading and commenting. You ALL give me so much strength to continue with each and every chapter.
> 
> This chapter is named after the song [Moondust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs8aAaO7OFU) by Jaymes Young. It’s such a poignant song for, not only this chapter, but Tsukki’s entire side of this story. I strongly suggest listening to it.
> 
>  **Warning:** Mentions of homophobia.

Kei’s bag feels overly heavily on his shoulders, weighing him down like it’s full of bricks. The day has passed by in a haze of academic information and people asking if he’s okay – to which he always responds with a noncommittal ‘I’m fine.’ Whether they believe him or not is their problem. Keiji and Morisuke have been at the forefront of the questioning, and Kenma less verbally so, with sporadic concerned glances.

The most unnerving has been Tetsurou, he’s been quiet all week and hasn’t asked ‘what’s wrong’ even once. Not that Kei’s complaining, it’s just unusual for Tetsurou not to… care. Who is he kidding, it fucking hurts. He thought that—

Kei has been withdrawn since Monday, barely responding with more than single word answers, not focussing on discussions or in class and not even putting much effort into basketball practice. His friends notice but they’re considerate enough to keep it to themselves. Or, they’re Shouyou, who seems to think that his bad mood is because of the practice game loss. At least the little shit has been less snappy; not that Kei has the capacity to acknowledge that at current.

Tadashi walks beside him silently, knowing when Kei needs silence, knowing how to deal with his mood better than Kei knows how to deal with it himself. He supposes that’s the point though, if he knew how to deal with it he wouldn’t be in the mood at all. Under pretence of ‘we haven’t had a sleepover in forever, Tsukki’ they make their way to Kei’s house after school. It’s Friday afternoon. Friday the 27th of September. The day he wishes he could skip over, the day he wishes he didn’t have to live through.

His phone has vibrated numerous times throughout the day. Kei’s only checked it once, this morning in the car with Tetsurou and Kenma. Most of the missed phone calls and messages from a contact he only keeps in his phone to know to _avoid_ the number. Contact name: mom. Such a short word; one syllable, three letters, each letter of which made his stomach roil and made him want to throw his phone out the window. Instead, Kei shoved it deep in his bag and didn’t look at it again all day.

“We’re marathoning the Jurassic Park movies, right Tsukki?” Tadashi’s voice draws him from his thoughts, right when he needs it.

Kei only hums an affirmative. Tadashi, unfazed by it, grins cheerfully.

“Good! I haven’t seen Jurassic World yet, is it good?”

“Not as good as the first, but still good.”

“And by your standards that means it’s amazing! I was worried about the CGI, because in a lot of movies now days the CGI is _so_ good that it looks _too_ real. If that makes any sense. And don’t get me started on 3D, I mean, it’s nauseating…”

Tadashi rambles on, keeping up the conversation with ease. Kei likes listening to the sound of his voice, it keeps him grounded and out of his own depressing thoughts. Tadashi has been spending less time with Hitoka this week and has been attached to Kei at the hip any time possible. Kei would feel bad about it but with the kindness in Hitoka’s smile he knows it’s okay, she possibly even suggested it. Not that Tadashi wouldn’t be there if she hadn’t, but he’d certainly look guiltier about it than he does.

So lost in Tadashi’s one-sided conversation about dinosaurs, modern film and, somehow, Star Wars, Kei doesn’t notice his brother’s car parked out the front of their house as they arrive. He unlocks the front door and enters his home robotically and almost shouts in alarm when he’s tackled into a hug from Akiteru.

“Happy birthday Kei!” Akiteru says, his arms tight around Kei’s shoulders. His brother left for work too early this morning to see Kei before school and is apparently making up for it now.

Kei clicks his tongue. “You’re heavy. And why are you even home? Aren’t you supposed to be at work still?”

“I came home early to hang out with my little bro on his special day!” Akiteru pulls back and holds Kei’s shoulders, searching his face. “Seventeen,” he sniffs dramatically. “They grow up so fast…”

Kei groans and breaks free of his grasp, pushing past him. He can hear Tadashi laughing behind him, probably relieved Kei is acting more like his usual self; if anyone can make him feel more at ease it’s Akiteru. He’s been working so much through the week that he’s barely been home. Which has made Kei’s week even harder.

Kei pauses when he walks into the kitchen. Sitting there on the counter is a box wrapped in green and blue paper with chubby cartoon dinosaurs on it and a large red bow on top.

He turns back to Akiteru with an eyebrow raised. “I thought I told you no presents.”

Akiteru shrugs, grinning carelessly. “I didn’t listen.”

Guilt surges through Kei. He’s already too much of a burden on his brother, having to take him in and feed him and clothe him and put a roof over his head. There is already so little he can do to pay back his brother’s kindness.

“Open it,” Akiteru says, nodding towards the gift.

Dropping his bag on the ground Kei walks over to bench and sits at the counter before carefully taking the present off the counter. It’s not overly heavy but it’s sizeable and rectangular, fitting nicely in his hands as he turns it over slowly. He can practically feel Tadashi and Akiteru jittering excitedly and deliberately takes his time unwrapping the paper.

“Tsukki!” Tadashi complains.

A smile curls at the corner of his mouth but immediately drops when the dinosaur wrapping paper comes free. His eyes widen as his mind processes the image on the box.

“Aki… This is too much…” Kei breathes, turning to face his smiling brother.

Akiteru shakes his head. “No it isn’t, you need them. I was talking to Tetsurou a few days ago and he was speaking about your reduced peripheral vision due to the frames of your glasses. These will help, they have a broader field of vision and you’ll be able to make those magical plays with Keiji.”

Kei looks back down at the box and swallows hard. It’s true, sports glasses will help him in games, but they’re expensive. Akiteru is stubborn though, there is nothing Kei can say to make him take them back.

“Thank you,” Kei says quietly, fiddling with the edge of the box.

Arms drape over his shoulders as Akiteru hugs him from behind and presses a wet kiss to his cheek. “That’s what big brothers are for!”

“Gross.”

“Try them on!” Tadashi enthuses, bouncing up and down next to him. “You’ll have to wear them to practice on Monday.”

Opening the box Kei runs his fingers along the smooth curve of the black rims before pulling the glasses out and holding them between his fingers. They’re elegant and the shape will certainly open up his field of vision. Taking his glasses off and setting them on the bench, he pulls the band of the sports glasses over the back of his head before settling the glasses on his face. The kitchen goes from soft, blurred edges to sharp, crystal clear focus.

“Do they need adjusting?” Akiteru asks, touching the strap that’s firm against the back of Kei’s head, his blond hair curling around it. “I adjusted it to my head so it should be okay.”

“Its fine,” Kei responds as he turns back to face Tadashi and Akiteru.

“How do they feel? Is everything clear? Is the prescription right?”

Kei smiles. “They’re fine… They’re great.”

“Okay, but I want a full report after your training on Monday,” Akiteru demands and Kei rolls his eyes as he takes the glasses off and sets them carefully back in their case. “What do you want for dinner? I was thinking pizza but it’s up to you birthday boy.”

“Pizza sounds good.”

“Pizza is perfect for our Jurassic Park marathon!” Tadashi beams happily.

“Seriously? _Again?_ ” Akiteru groans, though his smile is as broad and gleeful as Tadashi’s. “You watch them _every year_ Kei!”

“He has to have at least one tradition,” Tadashi says.

Akiteru chuckles. “Very true.”

“Did you get me cake…?” Kei asks surreptitiously.

“You told me not to!”

Kei sighs and mumbles, “The one thing I _actually_ wanted you not to listen to.”

It’s midnight by the time they finish all four movies and Tadashi is asleep on the bigger sofa, which is good because that’s where he was going to be sleeping anyway. Akiteru drapes a blanket over Tadashi as Kei quietly turns off the television and turns the lights off. In the hallway that connects their bedrooms Akiteru stops him with a hand at his elbow.

“You know I love you, right Kei?” Akiteru whispers into the quiet, dark hallway, his eyes watching Kei intently. “That I’d do anything for you?”

Kei snorts a disbelieving laugh and nods. “How can I not know that? Everything you’ve done for me, everything you’ve given me…”

“And I’d do it again and again and again,” he says sternly, pulling Kei into a hug. “You deserve all of it… You deserve better.”

Akiteru’s voice breaks and it makes twists painful in Kei’s chest, leaving him unable to respond with words, merely gripping tighter into the back of his brother’s hoodie. Kei wishes he could believe it, wishes that he felt better about himself and considered himself worth the effort. For now, at least, it’s enough to know Akiteru believes it.

“I love you too,” Kei says quietly as he pulls away.

“Sleep well, Kei.”

Akiteru pats him affectionately on the shoulder before walking to his door and closing it behind him. Slowly, Kei makes his way into his own room. He’s quick to numb the emotions that ache through his mind and body, nothing good can come of letting himself lose control.

With meticulous care, concentrating on every small action, he changes into his pyjamas, sorting and folding his clothes, before digging his phone out of the bottom of his bag and getting into bed. Turning the light off, Kei settles under his covers, tucking them right up under his chin. Turning his phone back on he goes through the messages he received through the day, diligently deleting the ones he doesn’t wish to see.

 **[07:34] Koushi**  
_Happy Birthday you giant dork! Please at least TRY to enjoy your day, that’s all I ask. Oh, also, call me soon! You’ve been too caught up in your obsession (and I’m not talking basketball –_^) and I’m feeling underappreciated. All my love xoxoxo_

 **[12:01] Daichi**  
_Hey kiddo! Happy Birthday! Hope you’re having a wonderful day but don’t have too much fun, make sure you stay safe. Look forward to seeing you again soon, it’s been too long._

Kei huffs a laugh, scrolling through the birthday messages from his Karasuno friends. From the overly aggressive well wishes from Ryuunosuke to the short, anxious message – that has undoubtedly been written out numerous times and finally completed with Yuu’s help – from Asahi. He scrolls through them all until he gets to the last message Tetsurou sent him, Tuesday, something insignificant about basketball.

Kei clenches his jaw, staring at his name on the screen until his vision hazes over as he loses focus.

On Monday, when Tetsurou had asked what he was doing on Friday, for a stupid, hopeful second Kei truly thought Tetsurou was asking him out. Then he was both annoyed and excited by the idea that Tetsurou may have figured out that it’s his birthday. But then… Nothing. All week. Nothing. Like the idiot he is, Kei thought that Tetsurou—

Turning off his phone’s display, Kei curls in on himself and swallows back the lump that has formed in the back of his throat. An uncomfortable reminder of how alone he is. The sad part is he has no one to blame but himself, for never talking about what happened… For never letting anyone in.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou turns over and his eyes flutter open slowly, reluctantly. He groans as sun aggressively invades his vision. It’s such a nuisance. Why didn’t he close his blinds?

_Wait… The sun…_

His eyes widen and he lurches upright, muscles complaining with the action after being asleep for such a long time. Scrambling for his phone among the mess of sheets on his bed, Tetsurou finally finds it and swears loudly when he sees the time. 12:46pm, he’s late.

“Shit, shit, _fuck_ —!” Tetsurou cries out as he falls out of bed, hitting his shin against the sharp corner. “ _Mother of fuck!_ ”

Ignoring the pain he makes his way into the shower and quickly scrubs the sleep off himself. Leaving his hair as the lost cause it is at the best of times, Tetsurou dresses and hastily throws some clothes in a bag before barrelling downstairs. His parents are sitting at the kitchen counter as he rushes past, leisurely eating lunch, smiling and happy.

“You slept in,” his mother remarks. “Wait, Tetsu don’t forget the cake!”

Tetsurou skids to a halt and runs back into the kitchen to grab the cake from the fridge, holding the box carefully against his chest.

“Thanks mom! You’re a life saver,” he says, quickly kissing her on the cheek and patting his dad on the shoulder before running out. “See you later!”

“What’s that about?” Tetsurou hears his father’s deep voice. “Must be important.”

 _It is important dad,_ he thinks. _Very important._

Whatever answer his mother gives Tetsurou doesn’t hear it because he’s already out the front door. Setting the cake down on the passenger seat, Tetsurou starts the ignition and takes extra care, even in his hurry, as he drives to 111 Sendai Street. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he gets halfway to the front door before swearing loudly and going back to his car for the cake, which he forgot… Again.

Tetsurou’s knuckles finally rap against the front door and, despite his high fitness levels, he feels out of breath and flustered. When the door opens though, he grins broadly as he’s faced with a sleepy looking Kei in dinosaur print pyjama bottoms and a baggy t-shirt.

“T-Tetsurou?” Kei mutters, gold eyes wide and disbelieving. “What are you—?”

“Happy birthday Tsukki!” Tetsurou says, feeling like he should hug him or something, but unable to with the cake box in his hands. “I saw you walking home with Freckles yesterday and figured you might want a quiet night with your brother and best friend. I also planned to come earlier but kinda slept in… But it looks like you didn’t get up long ago either.”

Kei blinks and closes his mouth from where it had dropped open as Tetsurou rambled. He looks a little dazed as he glances down at himself when Tetsurou indicates to his pyjamas, a light flush rising on his cheeks as he sees what he’s wearing.

Kei has been distant all week, barely paying attention to anything, not even basketball. And Tetsurou has let him be distant, has given him the space he clearly needs, but has always been right there if Kei needs him. It’s a difficult thing to balance; caring about someone and wanting to help them without pushing them too far, without pushing them away. Kei’s the type of person that has a well-defined line and Tetsurou is very cautious around it.

“Thank you,” Kei speaks quietly, sounding uncertain, as he pushes open the door. “Do you want to come in? We were just finishing breakfast, or lunch, I guess.”

“Of course I want to come in. See this bag on my back Tsukki, I’m here to stay!”

“Wonderful,” Kei groans sarcastically and sounding more like himself, it makes Tetsurou chuckle as he enters. “What’s in the box?”

“Cake.”

“…What kind of cake?”

“Yummy cake.”

“Tetsurou.”

“Have patience birthday boy.”

When they enter the kitchen Akiteru and Tadashi look up at Tetsurou in surprise, their eyes flickering to Kei before settling back on Tetsurou. Akiteru is smiling, pleased to see him, but Tadashi looks nervous.

“Did you tell him?” Kei asks Tadashi immediately, his voice low with a hint of a threat, which may or may not be real. It’s always difficult to tell with Kei, but considering it’s Tadashi, Tetsurou doesn’t believe the threat is real.

“Sorry Tsuk—”

“It’s not Freckles’ fault,” Tetsurou interrupts, setting the cake down on the counter. “I found out accidentally. Your birth date was on your signup sheet for the basketball team. It was a mere accident, but you should be happy Tsukki, this way you get cake!”

Normally Tetsurou might go on to lecture Kei about keeping his birthday from his friends, from not allowing them to celebrate with him, but this isn’t a normal situation. Kei is hurting and needs support. It’s not for Tetsurou to decide what form that support comes in.

“I got it yesterday,” Tetsurou continues as he lifts the lid off the box. “But hopefully it’s still good. I remember Aki saying you like strawberries.”

Tetsurou looks up to see Kei’s eyes almost twinkle as he stares at the Strawberry Shortcake in the box. Then Kei’s vision becomes more focussed and he frowns before glancing up at Tetsurou with a questioning expression. The room is quiet, for some unfathomable reason, and Tetsurou can feel Akiteru and Tadashi’s eyes on him. He feels like he’s missing something.

Akiteru shifts – the first to recover from… whatever is happening – and laughs a little awkwardly. It snaps Kei’s attention away from Tetsurou, glancing back down at the cake.

“Strawberry Shortcake is Kei’s favourite,” Akiteru explains.

“Oh, well, lucky guess based off strawberries then.”

“Are you sure that information wasn’t on my team signup sheet too?” Kei questions, the hint of mischief returning to his eyes.

Tetsurou gasps dramatically, his hand clutching at his chest. “I am _offended,_ Tsukki! I pay attention and retrieved that information all by myself. Or, guessed it all by myself.”

Tadashi’s phone chimes and he smiles when he checks the message. “Hitoka’s here. Are you sure you don’t mind me going Tsukki?”

Kei sighs. “Yes, go, I’m not going to take up any more of your time together.”

“It’s okay Freckles, I’ll look after the birthday boy,” Tetsurou says, slinging an arm around Kei’s shoulders. Tadashi still seems uncertain, his brown eyes flickering between them. His uncertainty dissipates into embarrassed blushing when Tetsurou winks and says, “Have fun with Sparkles.”

“I-I’m not—we’re not… It’s n-not like th-that,” Tadashi stutters, tripping over his bag as he goes to pick it up.

Tetsurou chuckles. “I know Freckles, calm down. Go get your girl.”

A smile finds it’s way onto Tadashi’s face. “Okay, I’ll see you Monday.”

With a vigorous wave Tadashi leaves. It’s been three weeks since Hitoka’s birthday party and the two of them have hardly spent any time together. With their initial anxieties and Tadashi spending most of this week close to Kei, worried about him, they’ve only had one date. Hitoka’s said they’ve been talking a lot more recently, so Tetsurou isn’t worried about it. In fact, they seem to be getting along very well. Just as he knew they would.

“Ah, youth,” Tetsurou says. He can practically feel Kei roll his eyes.

Akiteru scoffs. “You sound like an old man.”

“And you’re only seventeen,” Kei adds.

“Wow, you guys are brutal. I’m outnumbered, getting double teamed by the Tsukishima bros. Tadashi come back! I need help!”

“I’m going to shower,” Kei says dryly, ignoring his dramatics, shrugging out from under his arm and walking away. “Don’t break anything.”

Tetsurou watches him go with a grin. There have been a few unusual moments, but Kei seems to be back to his usual snarky self, swapping quips and rolling his eyes, even though it’s obvious he’s enjoying himself. It’s nice to see him like this again after being so dead to the world all week.

“I’m glad you accidentally found out and came over to hang out with him. I’m glad Kei has friends like you, Tetsu,” Akiteru says. Tetsurou turns to find Akiteru regarding him with a warm smile. “I’m grateful and even though Kei may never say so himself, I know he’s grateful too.”

“Oh, Tsukki did thank me.”

Akiteru’s smile broadens and he shakes his head. “Of course he did. Anyway, I desperately need to get some work done so thank you for keeping Kei company.”

Patting him on the shoulder, Akiteru leaves him alone in the kitchen. Tetsurou has been here a many times by now and has a tendency to make himself at home, always comfortable in his friend’s houses, so it doesn’t worry him. He puts the cake away in the fridge for Kei to eat later, moving things around to make room for it.

Tetsurou makes his way into Kei’s room to wait for him, walking past Akiteru’s room where he’s locked himself up to do his work. Dropping his bag next to Kei’s bed, Tetsurou walks over to the small bookcase filled with science fiction and fantasy novels he would never think to read, and wonders which is Kei’s favourite. In front of the books sit numerous dinosaur figurines, dinosaurs of different shapes and sizes that Tetsurou couldn’t name if his life depended on it. He runs his fingers over the spikey spines and the sharp toothed jaws, until he picks up the tall one with the long limbs.

The door shuts behind him and he barely turns his head to see Kei enter in his peripheral. He’s dressed in navy blue Adidas track pants and a white t-shirt. His blond hair is darker with dampness and messy from haphazard towel drying. Judging by the way Kei jolts he didn’t notice Tetsurou standing there.

“What are you doing?” Kei questions.

Tetsurou runs his thumb down the dinosaur’s neck and turns to face him. “What’s this one called?”

“Brachiosaurus,” he responds instantly.

He nods, repeating the familiar word. “It’s kinda cool. You know, for a dorky dinosaur toy.”

Kei snorts a laugh. “Says the guy wearing a t-shirt of Schrodinger’s zombie cat.”

“Hey, Erwin Schrodinger was a genius,” Tetsurou says, making one corner of Kei’s mouth curve into a smirk. It feels good to be able to purposefully draw that amused expression from him. “Okay, so I have an idea—”

“Oh great,” Kei groans, lowering himself to sit at the foot of his bed. “This ought to be good.”

“Oh come on now, when are my plans ever bad?”

Kei cocks his head and raises a single eyebrow at him.

“Okay, fine. Just hear me out. And don’t interrupt until I’m done,” Tetsurou says, using his commanding Captain voice that never seems to work on Kei. He nods his assent nonetheless. “I know you don’t want to celebrate your birthday, but I thought you might like to invite Kou and Keiji over to—ah, ah, no interrupting!” he demands as Kei opens his mouth to undoubtedly complain. “They won’t know it’s your birthday, we don’t have to tell them. I know for a fact they’re not doing anything tonight and I think it would be awesome to have a chill evening with them. Well, Keiji will probably know, but you know he won’t say anything, dude’s a saint… To you at least. And Kou’s… Kou.”

When he’s finished speaking Kei is regarding him with narrowed eyes, considering his proposal. Tetsurou had carefully considered his options to get Kei to at least have an enjoyable weekend all through the week and practiced his speech for many hours. He’s hopeful, he thinks it will be good for Kei. But again, the decision is Kei’s and all Tetsurou can do is suggest it.

“Fine,” Kei answers finally. “But no telling them it’s my birthday and no… doing things.”

Tetsurou smirks, subduing his need to bounce up and down with excitement. “Yes, we’ll just sit there doing nothing.”

“You know what I mean Tetsurou.”

“I know, it’s okay Tsukki, we’ll just watch movies or something,” he says, slumping down on Kei’s bed and into his usual position with his head hanging over the end. Tetsurou gets out his phone and sends a message to Koutarou. “Keiji is super lazy and likes doing nothing as much as you do. And Kou will do whatever Keiji does, even if he complains about it.”

“And no making out in my house.”

“What are you trying to do, kill Kou? That’s like denying him oxygen.”

Kei shrugs. “I doubt the few brain cells it’ll kill will even be noticeable.”

“Harsh,” Tetsurou says, though he’s laughing. His phone buzzes almost instantly and he reports, “Okay, they’ll come over at seven… Hey, what does Aki do? He seems to work an awful lot.”

“He’s a lawyer.”

“Seriously?” he questions in surprise. Tetsurou turns his head abruptly and Kei’s a lot closer than he thought, a mere foot from his face, but he doesn’t have time to register that. Kei’s messy hair is pulled back from its usual place covering his forehead, and reveals to him, once more, the crooked pale scar at Kei’s temple. Tetsurou swallows hard as he stares at it, and when he meets Kei’s eyes they seem to quickly avert to meet Tetsurou’s.

“…What?” Kei asks, frowning.

Tetsurou turns his head so that he’s gazing at Kei’s desk, upside down, and breathes out heavily. Saying what he’s about to is a risk, but he needs Kei to know.

“I know you won’t want to talk about… what happened. But I can tell it’s been affecting you lately and I know it’s the reason you don’t want to celebrate your birthday. I also know I’m over stepping the line here… But I can’t just sit back and—” Tetsurou cuts himself short, carefully controlling his emotions. “If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here, whenever you need. No judgement, no obligation. Just… Whatever you need Tsukki.”

In the wake of his speech the room falls agonisingly silent. Slowly, Tetsurou turns his head to Kei, who is staring wide-eyed at him. Kei’s surprise fades with the sorrow that falls across his face. His fingers are clasped tightly together in his lap and he gazes down at them.

“I don’t like celebrating my birthday,” Kei starts, his voice quiet and low, filled with emotion in a way Tetsurou has never heard before. “I don’t want to celebrate because I’m not… My existence is not worth celebrating.”

Tetsurou feels his eyes widen and his breath catch. He uprights himself and turns to face Kei.

“Don’t,” Kei interrupts before he can say anything. Tetsurou freezes in place, staring at the back of Kei’s head helplessly. “I know what you’re going to say, that I am worth celebrating, I’ve tried to convince myself of it enough times. But it’s too recent, I can’t just…”

Kei pauses, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out shakily. Preparing himself. Tetsurou remains quiet, allowing him all the time he needs.

“It was stupid. I thought I could trust them…” Kei huffs a rueful laugh, his jaw clenching tightly. “It was just before Thanksgiving last year and I decided to tell my parents that I’m gay. Thought I’d start with my mother, she’s gentle and kind. At least I thought she was. I told her after school and she was shocked but nodded along in all the right places, smiled as reassuringly as she could. Even though it was awkward and uncomfortable I thought it was okay. That she was still just a bit surprised, that in time she’d get used to it. There was no yelling or confrontation. I was relieved.

“I told her that I wanted to wait a few days to tell my father, that I needed time to prepare for it. He’s not the easiest person to talk to. But then, when he got home, my mother sat us down and announced that I had something to tell him…”

Kei swallows hard and then leans his head back against the bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Tetsurou feels like his muscles have locked into place, like if he moves it will somehow ruin the moment that he’s not sure he wants to experience. But he has to, for Kei.

“I couldn’t understand why she did it, but I trusted her. I trusted her… So I explained, once again, that I’m attracted to boys and that I’ve known for a while and didn’t know how to tell them. That I was scared to tell them... Suddenly, with my father by her side, my mother started scolding me, acting offended and telling me that I was confused. She begged me to say that I was lying, that it was some kind of joke. I didn’t even know how to respond.

“My father remained quiet for a long time. I was too busy confused by my mother’s actions to notice how angry he was. Until he exploded,” Kei’s voice catches around the word.

“He called me an abomination… dragged me out of my chair and started shoving me towards the door. Telling me to get out, telling me how disgusting I was and that he didn’t want me in his house. That I was no longer his son. That I was a filthy animal. That didn’t deserve a home or a family or friends or to be cared about. That I was a worthless piece of shit and a waste of space.”

Tetsurou feels the itching tingle of a tear roll down his cheek, leaving his skin wet and cold in its wake. Something is his chest tightens painfully and he feels like he can’t breathe.

“I resisted, pulling back as he tried to get me to the door. I was smaller then, skinnier, and he was bigger than me. There was no point fighting, but I did, I was too panicked to do anything else. I shouldn’t have resisted…” Kei says, his voice quiet but clear, carefully controlled. “As I was pulling back he lost his grip on me and I stumbled. Hit my head on the metal edge of a table. I don’t remember much, just the throbbing in my head and weakness and blood and my parents refusing to come in the ambulance with me. Lying and saying they’d drive to the hospital themselves.”

Kei sighs, raising his hand to his forehead and tracing the scar with his fingertips. “Luckily my friend’s older sister’s a nurse, she called her brother, who called Koushi, who called Aki. At least I have them…”

As the shock wears off anger sears through Tetsurou, sharp and hot, curling his hands into fists and tightening his jaw. But his blurred vision focuses on the defeated slump of Kei’s shoulders and all that’s left is sadness. There is no one here to blame, only someone to comfort.

Wiping at the wetness on his face, Tetsurou slowly rises from the bed and kneels down beside Kei, his glassy gold eyes unfocused and distant, too broken to cry. Tetsurou pulls an unresisting Kei against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around Kei’s shoulders. He feels his body wobble with the effort of holding them both up, and leans them against the bed, burying his head between Kei’s neck and the bed.

He had known it was bad, saw the hurt in Kei’s eyes sometimes and the understanding in him when Keiji was hurting. But this… The emotional torment and self-loathing created from the utter lack of acceptance from the two people who were supposed to accept him no matter what… It’s too much. No wonder he’s guarded. No wonder he keeps everyone at arm’s length. No wonder he’s mature. He’s had to deal with pain beyond his years. Kei doesn’t deserve this. He deserves happiness and to be proud of himself and—

“You have so many people who care about you,” Tetsurou says, his voice wavering even more than Kei’s had as emotion overwhelms him. “You’re so important, Kei. You never deserve to feel like you’re not important, not even for a second.”

They sit there in silence for a long time, merely listening to Tetsurou’s erratic breathing and Kei’s rapid heartbeat. Kei shifts, but doesn’t move away, and the movement almost startles Tetsurou, who was so comfortable – and still sleepy – that he almost forgot where he was.

“I’ve never told anyone about that,” Kei admits softly, relaxing and leaning his head against Tetsurou’s shoulder. “Not even to Aki. Thank you for not pushing me… And for listening. Thank you, Tetsu.”

Those words warm through Tetsurou and he smiles. “You’re welcome, Tsukki. That’s what friends are for.”

Kei stiffens against him, as if he’s surprised and thought they weren’t friends, as if he thought Tetsurou wouldn’t be there for him. Abruptly Kei pulls back and pushes his glasses up to rub at his eyes. Tetsurou sits back and stretches out his muscles that have gone stiff from being in the one position too long.

“I need cake,” Kei mumbles, rising to his feet.

“And what the birthday boy wants is what the birthday boy gets.”

“It was my birthday yesterday.”

Tetsurou grins. “Haven’t you ever heard of a birthday weekend?”

Kei rolls his eyes before walking out of the room.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, hey, hey!”

“Koutarou, inside voice,” Keiji scolds as Tetsurou lets them in the front door of Kei’s house. “Kei’s brother is working.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he stage whispers, which isn’t quiet at all.

Keiji sighs. “That doesn’t mean you should repeat it.”

Tetsurou chuckles as he gives Koutarou a bro fist and leads them into the open kitchen and living area. Through the afternoon Tetsurou and Kei watched Dinosaur and had a huge debate – quietly – about the Mesozoic Era; which mostly came about because Tetsurou intentionally said incorrect things about dinosaurs to make Kei correct him. And correct him he did, Kei went into full lecture mode. It’s rather amazing how much Kei knows.

“Did you get all the sex outta your system?” Tetsurou asks, smirking.

“Not possible,” Koutarou says at the same time Keiji says, “Yes.”

“Good, because you have entered the no make-out zone. No funny business.”

“There will certainly be no ‘funny business’,” Keiji affirms as he slaps Koutarou’s hand away from his waist.

“But Keijiiii!”

“It’s okay bro,” Tetsurou says, patting his best friend on the shoulder as they enter the kitchen where Kei is sitting at the counter going through his phone. “I’m in the same sex-free boat, we’ll get through it together… Which sounds more sexual than I intended.”

“Yeah, but dude, your partner isn’t—”

They both freeze as their gazes follow Koutarou’s out-thrown arm to where Keiji is hugging a very surprised looking Kei from behind. Keiji’s face is pressed into Kei’s back, between his shoulder blades, as his arms tighten around his skinny chest.

“—hugging Tsukki intimately… Keiji, what the hell?”

“Um… Keiji?” Kei asks when there is no sign of movement and no response after a few seconds.

“This is kind of hot,” Koutarou whispers to Tetsurou, once again not whispering at all.

“Dude, no.”

Finally Keiji loosens his grips and pulls away from Kei, straightening. His expression is as impassive as ever but when his smoky green eyes meet Tetsurou’s there is understanding in them. Tetsurou will never know how Keiji simply knows these things, he’s just _that_ observant.

“Keiji you can’t just go around hugging other dudes like that! Especially attractive ones,” Koutarou complains, going back to obviously faked annoyance. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

Kei turns to him with a baffled frown. “You _kissed_ me.”

“Kei is upset, he needed a hug,” Keiji deadpans.

Silence falls between them as they stare at Keiji in disbelief. Tetsurou had trusted that he wouldn’t say anything, he thought he knew Keiji well enough to rely on his discretion. Kei’s eyes widen as a panicked expression flitters over his carefully maintained mask of indifference. Koutarou frowns at Kei, pondering his boyfriend’s words. Tetsurou’s worried for a moment, until Koutarou speaks and he realises precisely why Keiji had said it.

“In that case, I give the best hugs!” Koutarou announces proudly, approaching Kei and pinning him in a giant bear hug before he even gathers his senses to fight it. Not that he could. Koutarou is very strong.

“I can’t breathe…” Kei wheezes.

“That just means the power of the hug is working!”

Tetsurou notices the small, sly grin on Keiji’s face and can’t help but chuckle. Kei narrows his eyes on Tetsurou with his this-is-all-your-fault glare.

“Enjoy it, Tsukki,” Tetsurou sing songs, smirking.

“You’re the worst.”

“What were you guys thinking for… dinner?” Akiteru asks, walking into the room and frowning when he sees Koutarou holding Kei. “Oh, hey.”

Koutarou scrambles to release Kei. “I wasn’t molesting Tsukki!”

Akiteru narrows his eyes, looking very much like Kei. “I didn’t think you were… Now I’m a little suspicious though.”

“I swear I wasn’t, sir!” Koutarou salutes – for God knows what reason – and then frowns. Tetsurou struggling to hold back the laughter that’s bubbling at the back of his throat due to his friend’s antics. “You look really young to have a son as old as Tsukki.”

“Koutarou, I’ve told you numerous times that Kei lives with his brother,” Keiji says, rolling his eyes. “Please excuse him. I’m Keiji Akaashi, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Wow, you have _amazing_ manners, you’re already my favourite,” Akiteru says, grinning as returns the handshake Keiji initialised, and surprised that a sixteen year old is shaking his hand.

Tetsurou gasps. “And here I thought _I_ was your favourite!”

“Wait, why don’t you live with your parents?” Koutarou asks, scratching his head. Koutarou is from a large family, with four younger siblings and parents that are affectionate and caring, just like he is. It’s understandable that this is what he gets caught up on.

Kei’s silent, tendons in his jaw twitching and instantly uncomfortable.

“How about Chinese?” Tetsurou blurts, averting Koutarou’s attention to food. It works, he grimaces at Tetsurou.

“Bro, you know I don’t like Chinese, way too greasy.”

“What about… curry? Tsukki?”

“Sounds fine to me.”

“I’ll order, you guys go put a movie on or something,” Akiteru offers, smiling gratefully at Tetsurou.

With a loud hoot Koutarou bolts over to the larger sofa and dives on it, claiming the whole thing. Keiji sits on top of his legs; it doesn’t look comfortable, for either of them, but neither adjust their positioning. It leaves Kei and Tetsurou with the other sofa. Kei folds his long legs, one underneath him and the other against his chest. Tetsurou’s noticed that he likes to curl himself up, which, with such long limbs, shouldn’t be as easy as Kei makes it look, he must be flexible.

“You like dinosaurs, right Tsukki?” Koutarou asks innocently. Kei shoots Tetsurou a glare.

“What? He’s my best friend, I tell him pretty much everything.”

“Koutarou has an owl collection, posters and figurines, all over his bedroom,” Keiji says dryly. “He’s obsessed with them. His bedspread, his underwear, his table lamp, his curtains—”

“Keiji! He gets it!” Koutarou grumbles at his boyfriend, who remains unaffected. “Can we watch Jurassic Park? I haven’t seen that in forever.”

Kei hesitates, a light blush colouring his cheeks. “No… We—I watched them all last night.”

Tetsurou and Keiji glance at him, containing their smiles to one corner of their mouth, while Koutarou whines unhappily.

“What other dino movies you got?”

“Um, Tetsu and I watched Dinosaur earlier, so I guess either documentaries, The Good Dinosaur or The Land Before Time movies,” Kei answers.

Koutarou’s eyes light up and a broad grin spreads across his face. “The Land Before Time! Do you have all of them?”

“No, there are thirteen and I only have the first six.”

“Let’s do it!” Koutarou cheers, pumping his fists into the air. “I fucking love Cera, she’s badass.”

“Ducky is my favourite,” Keiji adds as Kei navigates through menu systems to get to the first movie.

“Littlefoot—” Tetsurou and Kei say in unison and stop to glance at each other. Tetsurou finishes for both of them, grinning, “Is clearly the best.”

“Okay, food is on its way,” Akiteru announces, shoving Kei closer to Tetsurou to sit on the sofa. “What are we watching?”

“Land Before Time!” Koutarou hollers loudly as the movie starts.

Akiteru chuckles. “You’re a bad influence on your friends Kei.”

 

* * *

 

Kei feels warm, so incredibly warm. He’s not all that comfortable, sleeping on an odd angle, which is strange because his bed is usually comfortable. He likes his bed, but it’s not usually this lumpy. His body is bad at retaining heat and he usually has to cocoon himself in blankets, but now there is merely a light blanket covering him and he’s, somehow, contently warm.

Something moves underneath him. It’s a small movement, barely noticeable. Kei frowns as consciousness takes its hold, making him more aware of the steady, rhythmic pounding of a heart under his ear and the arm wrapped around him tightly. His eyes blink open slowly, the sunlight annoyingly bright. He glances down at what he’s lying on and squints to make out the ugly zombie cat on Tetsurou’s shirt.

In the clarity of the moment, Kei realises that he’s not in his bed. Kei realises that he’s in the living room, having fallen asleep staying up all night watching movies. Kei realises that he’s not alone in the room, not alone on the sofa.

Butterflies flutter in his stomach as he finally registers every inch of contact between him and Tetsurou. Kei’s draped over his chest, one leg hitched up on Tetsurou’s hip and foot resting between his calves. Tetsurou’s holding him, his strong arm around Kei’s shoulders, hand firm on his upper arm.

_Oh, shit._

Kei freezes, he has no idea how to move away without waking Tetsurou. He’s not even sure he _wants_ to move. But he needs to, he’s not sure he can handle the awkwardness of accidentally waking up with Tetsurou like this. Though Tetsurou would probably just laugh it off, there is no way Kei could hide his emotional reaction.

Slowly, carefully, Kei lifts his head from Tetsurou’s chest and looks up to see his sleep relaxed features; the sharp line of his jaw, the additional mess of his hair, the softness of his lips and the darkness of his eyelashes resting gently against his tan skin. Kei’s breath catches and he curls his hand into a fist to stop himself from… It would be so easy, to just lean down and—

 _That’s what friends are for,_ Tetsurou’s voice echoes in his mind, stopping Kei abruptly.

The words had sliced through his flesh like the sharpest knife. The pain was subtle, barely there, but the damage was just as profound, sliding in between his ribs and eviscerating his heart.

 _Fuck Tetsu,_ Kei thinks, swallowing hard as he clings onto the feeling of being in Tetsurou’s arms. Twice in the last twenty four hours he’s been held by him, and never has Kei felt more comfortable and safe, like it’s somewhere he belongs. His jaw tenses. _Why did I have to fall for you?_

A loud snore tears Kei’s attention away from Tetsurou’s lips and his head whips around to see – through the blur of his unfocused vision – Koutarou and Keiji curled together on the other sofa. Luckily they both still seem to be asleep.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kei shifts his weight onto his arms and extracts his leg from between Tetsurou’s. It’s a slow and nerve-wracking process but he manages to get himself free, focussing solely on his movements and not at all on the space he’s putting between them. The space he doesn’t want to put between them.

Kei retrieves his glasses from the table beside the sofa and sits them on his nose. Tetsurou shifts in his sleep, curling into the back of the sofa where Kei was sleeping mere minutes ago. Kei’s generally not one for hope or optimism, but maybe they’ll grow even closer. Tetsurou clearly cares about him, and in such a short amount of time, perhaps he does like Kei and just doesn’t know it yet. Perhaps he just needs more time to come to terms with it. Tetsurou brought him his favourite cake, spent the day with him, celebrated with him, watched his favourite movies with him, comforted him, cared—

Tetsurou’s phone vibrates on the table that Kei’s glasses had been on. His eyes automatically move to it as it draws his attention, and unintentionally sees the message. The newest message is from someone named Ana and it reads ‘tetsu where ru? im getting lonely without u’ kissing face, love heart, kissing face…

The vibration seems to wake Tetsurou and Kei quickly makes to look like he’s waking him.

“It’s twelve and your phone won’t stop buzzing,” Kei grumbles, unaffected mask falling into place.

“Good morning to you too, Tsukki,” Tetsurou chuckles, his voice sinfully low and gravely with sleep. He stretches for his phone and groans when he sees the message. “I guess I better go.”

Kei doesn’t respond, unsure that he even can without venom lacing his words. He walks into the kitchen and pours himself a cup of water, not that he really wants it, just for something to do. Tetsurou stretches, his shoulders and back popping and Kei uses the full extent of his control to avert his eyes from the sight.

“You’re okay with the lovebirds, yeah?” Tetsurou asks, pulling on his sneakers in the kitchen before running into Kei’s bedroom to grab his bag.

“Yep.”

Kei walks with Tetsurou to the front door, his hands pushing through his messy black hair like it will make any difference, like it will stop it from sticking up at odd angles. Kei likes it that way, likes it messy, likes the fact that it’s so thick it manages to defy gravity. He quickly quashes those thoughts. It doesn’t matter what Kei likes. Only what _Ana_ likes. Because that’s who Tetsurou wants and who he’s going to see.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning Tsukki,” Tetsurou says as Kei opens the front door for him. He pats Kei on the shoulder, grinning that casual grin that seems to light his whole face spectacularly. “I’ll pick you up at the usual time.”

Kei nods, not trusting himself to speak with the lump that’s forming in this throat. Tetsurou walks out and away, and all Kei can do is watch him leave when everything inside him is screaming at him to stop Tetsurou.

_That’s what friends are for._

Hope only leads to disappointment, it’s the mantra he lives by and he should know better. They’re _friends_. They’ll only ever be _friends_. Tetsurou will never see him as anything more and they’ll never _be_ anything more, no matter how much Kei wants to be. No matter how much Kei loves Tetsurou…

But Kei can’t lose him. Doesn’t want to lose the warmth of Tetsurou’s friendship, the affection, the care, the concern. Doesn’t want to stop seeing his smirk and grin; or stop hearing his stupid jokes and dramatics; or stop feeling the weight of his arm draped over Kei’s shoulder. No matter how much it hurts, he can’t walk away from Tetsurou.

The only option that gives him is to ignore his feelings. To keep them hidden. Kei will bury his love and no one will know and he’ll never have to lose Tetsurou.

“Kei?” Akiteru’s voice comes from behind him and Kei realises he’s been standing at the door staring at nothing. “Are you okay?”

He nods numbly, shutting the door. “I’m fine.”


	11. Uneasy and Uncomfortable

**Part Two - Desperate (For You)**  

 

Tetsurou is pissed off. For the first time in his now four years of High School he actually cares what his juvenile peers are saying about him. He’s not particularly sure why he cares, or, more specifically, why _now_. They’ve been talking about his fictional sexcapades for years but it’s gone too far and for some reason, no matter how many times Tetsurou reminds himself it won’t make any difference, he wants to confront the situation. Confront the perpetrator.

Strolling up to a table of chatting girls confidently, Tetsurou smiles politely.

“Hey girls, mind if I borrow Ana for a sec?”

A teasing ‘ooo’ rises loudly around the table as Ana stands from her seat, winking at her friends before sauntering away. Tetsurou gives a tight, annoyed smile at the girl who says ‘going for a quickie’ and follows after Ana. Her long, brown hair sways as she walks with exaggerated hip movements. He used to find her ridiculously long, silky hair attractive, but now it just seems obnoxious; it’s too much, she’s trying too hard. _Seriously who needs that much hair?_

Ana stops, away from the cafeteria tables and students, leaning against a wall in a way she probably thinks is sexy, her hip popped and her chest pushed out. Tetsurou contains his intense need to grimace – _shit, I’ve been spending too much time with Kei_ – and focuses on the issue at hand.

“What’s up, Tetsu?” Ana asks, his nickname in her voice making his stomach churn unpleasantly.

“So I can’t help but notice how many lies are being told about me right now. Kinda difficult to miss really,” Tetsurou says, keeping his expression relaxed and the conversation amicable. He may be annoyed but he’s not angry; it takes _a lot_ to push him over the edge. “The funny thing is, I don’t remember us ever having sex.”

She laughs airily. “It’s not like it matters Tetsu, the whole school knows how much of a player you are and how many girls you’ve messed around with over the years.”

As Ana reaches out to touch his arm playfully, Tetsurou flinches away from it and her smile drops. His jaw clenches as frustration swells in his chest, tight and uncomfortable. He wants to growl that it’s not true, he wants to stand on a table and tell them all he’s a freaking virgin, but he knows all too well that they won’t listen.

“Just please stop spreading rumours about me?” Tetsurou implores.

“Why?” she asks, raising a perfectly tweezed eyebrow. “Gotta girl to impress?”

Tetsurou frowns. “What? No... I’m just not particularly fond of the person I thought I could trust _continuously_ lying to everyone about me, even when I _continuously_ tell her to stop.”

“Look, Tetsu, if you want access to my mouth you have to deal with the consequences.”

With that Ana turns on her heel and walks away, as if she’s in the right, as if she’s not being a complete asshole in spreading rumours about him, as if he was asking for it. The most frustrating thing is this isn’t the first time this has happened, and like an idiot Tetsurou went and did it anyway. If he could go back in time he’d punch his past self in the face.

Heaving a disheartened sigh, Tetsurou turns away and continues on like he always does. Ignoring it until it fades away. At least that’s what he’s been trying to do. But this time it’s different, this time every whisper about his fictitious sex life makes him cringe and want to shake the truth into whoever spoke the lie.

Koutarou and Keiji look up at him as he slumps down into his chair across from them with his tray of lunch. They’re sitting close to each other, leaning in, Koutarou’s hand on Keiji’s knee. Apart from the occasional comment – that doesn’t affect them anymore – they’re free to be as close and couple-y as they like. It’s wonderful to see them so openly relaxed and happy in their relationship.

“What’d she say?” Koutarou asks, hopeful.

Tetsurou shakes his head, tearing off a piece of his sandwich and not meeting their gazes. “That she won’t stop, I guess. And I quote: ‘if you want access to my mouth you have to deal with the consequences.’”

He sees Keiji grimace at the edge of his vision. “I can’t believe you wanted access to begin with. Tetsurou, I told you that—”

“Yeah, I know, you told me. I didn’t listen. I fucked up. I get it,” Tetsurou snaps, then rubs a hand over his face and sighs. “Sorry Keiji, I’m just… Tired.”

“I know, I understand.”

It’s been two weeks. The rumours started small, murmurs about Tetsurou and Ana’s ‘relationship’ in the first week and then changing into talk about physical activities. ‘How far do you think they went?’ and ‘I bet he’s all over her, I mean, look at her.’ Tetsurou could live with that, the suspicions and assumptions. But then, after last night, when they did nothing more than make out in Tetsurou’s car, Ana decided to make false confirmations.

It’s only been half a day of discussions about how she moaned when he ‘wrecked her’ and already Tetsurou is so fucking done. He’s not like that. He doesn’t want his teammates to think of him like that and, most importantly, he doesn’t want his friends to think of him like that. Not that Koutarou, Keiji or Kenma would believe it for even a second. But what about Kei? Does Kei believe the lies? Does Kei see him as some kind of man whore?

“But bro, I mean, this isn’t the first time this type of thing has happened,” Koutarou says while munching on his apple. Keiji elbows him and reminds him not to talk with his mouth full, so he swallows immediately, almost choking. “There was that thing with Natalie last year, I mean sure that wasn’t sex talk, just BJ talk, but what difference does it make? We all know it’s not true. Your friends know it’s not true.”

Tetsurou meets Koutarou’s bright-eyed gaze. “What if they _don’t_ know it’s not true? Kei hasn’t known me for that long, what if he believes the rumours and sees me differently? What if he treats me differently?”

“Kei?” Koutarou questions, his face scrunched in confusion.

“Tetsurou, I think Kei will understand this better than you know,” Keiji reassures, his voice low and compelling. “And even if he’s so much as questioning the rumours, which I highly doubt, he’ll listen to you. He’ll believe _you_.”

He nods, knowing Keiji’s – _always_ – right. “Yeah, I guess.”

“If you’re concerned about it just talk to him.”

Kei confides in Tetsurou, has opened up to him more than he ever thought possible. Kei has shown vulnerability Tetsurou doubts anyone else has seen and trusts him. So why shouldn’t it go both ways? He’s never thought of Kei as anything other than a trustworthy person. Kei’s his friend, one of his closest friends.

“Also, for those of us _in the know_ ,” Koutarou says, puffing out his chest and wiggling his eyebrows. “Everything about you screams ‘virgin.’”

Tetsurou rolls his eyes. “Bro, you’ve only had sex three times, don’t act like you’re some kind of sexpert now.”

Koutarou’s eyes go wide. “Sexpert Koutarou, I _love_ that!”

“Don’t give him ideas,” Keiji complains quietly.

Chuckling with amusement, Tetsurou listens to Koutarou ramble on about his sexpertise and ‘how to spot a virgin’, while Keiji scolds him for speaking too loudly. Bless Koutarou’s natural ability to put a smile back on Tetsurou’s face, to help him forget the bullshit that’s swirling around him and laugh instead of feeling trapped and on display.

Ignoring the congratulatory slaps on the back, Tetsurou gets through the rest of his school day with much eye-rolling and Koutarou’s distractions, which are greatly appreciated. His last class, however, is without Koutarou, so Tetsurou escapes quickly to avoid his classmate’s questions after they’re set free by the final bell.

_Thank fuck tomorrow is the last day before break._

He dashes to his locker as subtly as possible, shoves his books into his book bag and grabs his sports duffle. A few guys cheer and call out to him on his way over to the gym but Tetsurou ducks his head and pretends he can’t hear them. He feels childish for letting it get to him like this, but he can’t help it, the whole situation irks him.

As he approaches the locker room he sees someone standing by the door. Tall, lean and blond, Tetsurou would recognise that figure anywhere.

Kei’s leaning back against the wall languidly, headphones over his ears and head tilted back with his eyes closed. The pose reminds Tetsurou of how Ana was leaning against the wall at lunch, but Kei is the polar opposite, effortlessly attractive and completely relaxed in his total indifference in how people perceive him. The long line of his pale neck, the poise with which he holds himself, the waves of his perfect golden hair falling around his brow; Kei looks like he belongs on the cover of GQ magazine.

Realising he’s simply standing there staring, Tetsurou is about to announce his presence and reach out to nudge Kei, when golden eyes open and focus intently on him. Hurt lines Kei’s expression, but it’s gone so quickly Tetsurou’s certain he imagined it.

“You’re not usually this early,” Kei comments dryly, pushing his headphones down around his neck and straightening.

“And you are?” Tetsurou asks, raising an eyebrow. Kei shrugs.

“I don’t like people.”

Tetsurou gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. “Does that mean you don’t like _me_?”

He rolls his eyes, a smile pulling the corner of his mouth. “You’re not ‘people’, Tetsu.”

Grinning broadly, Tetsurou pats him on the shoulder playfully as thanks before turning to unlock the door to the locker room. Kei seems fine, he’s acting like his usual self and treating Tetsurou no differently. Keiji must be right after all, Kei is far too intelligent to believe the rumours idiotic teenagers spread.

Once inside, they move to their separate lockers to get changed. Kei is quiet, but there is nothing unusual about that. Tetsurou sorts through his things slowly, feeling oddly awkward and unsure of how to breach the topic. He wants to talk about it, make sure Kei understands, make sure that everything is good between them and that there are no misunderstandings. They’ve spoken about deeper and more confronting things than a couple of rumours at school, so why does Tetsurou feel so uneasy?

“Hey, Tsukki?” he starts, turning to where Kei is sitting on the bench between the rows of lockers and fiddling with the laces of his green and white Adidas basketball shoes. Kei looks up at him in question. “You’ve, um… I assume you’ve heard all the shit they’re saying about me?”

Kei nods slowly. “Not exactly hard to miss.”

“Right,” Tetsurou says, snorting a wry laugh. “Well, I know you’re not naïve enough to believe the rumours, but, just in case, they’re not true. I’ve never—um,” he swallows, throat feeling dry. _Why is this so difficult?_ “I’ve never had sex with anyone and I certainly wouldn’t with someone I don’t l-love.”

_Did I just fucking stutter?_

“I just don’t want you to see me that way, the way they talk about me, because that’s not who I am,” Tetsurou continues. “I’ve only been on a couple of dates – I guess you could call them – with Ana. We’ve only ever made out, and that one time she blew me over the summer, but that’s it.”

Gold eyes narrow on Tetsurou in the silence that follows his odd rambling. Kei’s lips purse firmly together as he regards Tetsurou, but he merely turns his gaze back to his shoe laces.

“I know who you are, Tetsu,” Kei says, his voice low and almost inaudible. “You don’t ever have to worry about the way I see you. I know you’re a good person. A good person who makes stupid decisions.”

Tetsurou’s grinning, broad and bright with relief, until the last line.

“I already got a lecture from Keiji, I don’t need one from you too,” he grumbles, not lacking humour.

“As long as you learned your lesson.”

“Yeah, yeah, you reap what you sow or some shit.”

Kei laughs and Tetsurou can’t help but smile at the rare sound of it, even if it is at his expense. He likes making Kei, who’s usually so stoic and controlled, laugh genuinely, it feels like a real accomplishment. Tetsurou watches as Kei stands up and moves to his locker, his fingers working to unbutton his shirt, his every movement measured and precise.

“Thank you for listening, Tsukki,” Tetsurou says, sincerely grateful.

“You’re welcome,” Kei says, glancing at him, only for a moment, before turning away. “That’s what friends are for.”

 

* * *

 

Tapping his foot and waiting impatiently, Kei glances at the time on his phone screen for the umpteenth time. He can hear Akiteru grumbling about how early it is and the shuffle of sleep addled movement as he gets dressed. Kei agrees, it is early, but his nervous excitement had him jittery and restless half the night so he’s very much awake, even if he’s exhausted.

“I told you so many times that you didn’t have to drive me into school. That Tetsu offered to pick me up,” Kei says as Akiteru wobbles out of his room and towards the front door.

“I know, I know,” Akiteru grumbles, with uncharacteristic grumpiness. “But as your guardian it is my duty to see you off when you’re going away for a whole week.”

Kei rolls his eyes and follows his brother out the front door. They shove Kei’s large bag in the backseat of the car and Akiteru slaps his face before starting the engine.

“It’s just _so damn early_ ,” he continues to complain. “The suns not even up yet! I mean, who thought leaving this early was a good idea?”

“We have to leave early so that we have the rest of the day to train.”

Staring out the window at the dark, lamp lit street, Kei worries away at his lip as he half listens to his brother complain. Kei will be spending and entire week away from the safety of his own space and with his often noisy and annoying teammates. And with Tetsurou. He has no doubt that the couples will be doing their couple-y things, which means he will have less time with Keiji, Tadashi and Kenma, and he will be left to spend time with Tetsurou. Constantly.

Not that he doesn’t like spending time with Tetsurou. No, quite the opposite, Kei relishes the time he spends with Tetsurou. He would spend all of his time with Tetsurou if he could. But spending long periods of time with him is becoming more and more difficult. As much as Kei represses his feelings they always bubble to the surface and he finds himself wanting to lean into the heat of Tetsurou’s body, or push the hair out of his eyes, or kiss that stupid grin off his stupid face.

Kei’s worried. What if he does something stupid? What if Tetsurou discovers how he feels? What if he ruins their friendship with his idiotic one-sided feelings?

“So what are the sleeping arrangements going to be like, Kei?” Akiteru asks, the hint of mischief in his voice drawing Kei’s attention.

“Ah, I think we’re all camping out in the one room, or maybe two. Hence the sleeping bag.”

Akiteru smirks at him. “Oh? So more opportunities for snuggling with Tetsu then.”

“I can’t believe you saw that…” he grumbles under his breath, huffing. “And didn’t I tell you not to bring it up. I don’t want to remember it or talk about it.”

“Oh come on, Kei. There is no way Tetsu was cuddling you like that in his sleep accidentally, that’s just not something people do.”

“I was doing it accidentally in my sleep.”

“Yeah, because you’re in love with him,” Akiteru says, chuckling. “Therefore, if you were doing it subconsciously because you have feelings for him then so was he.”

“I’m _not_ in love with him,” Kei grinds out between his teeth. “And this conversation is over.”

“Just think about talking to him about it. You might be surprised,” Akiteru says, thankfully not continuing the conversation even when Kei doesn’t respond.

Folding his arms over his chest stubbornly, Kei is relieved to see the Nekodani school gate as they drive around to the gym entrance. The parking lot is filled with cars and a large bus preparing to leave. His teammates are spread around in their red and gold Nekodani sweats, talking to each other even though most look dead on their feet.

As Kei gets out of the car Tetsurou ambles over, looking ready to go straight back to sleep.

“You’re finally here, was about to call,” Tetsurou says, smiling sleeping and pushing his phone back into his pocket.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late.”

“Nah it’s cool, you just missed Keish’s traveling debrief. How long it’ll take, when we’ll be taking rest stop breaks, no dry humping or making out on the bus etcetera.”

Kei averts his gaze at Tetsurou’s blunt words, grateful for the excuse of getting his bag out of the car. “Yeah, well, _someone_ wouldn’t get out of bed because it was ‘too early.’”

“I did offer to pick him up, Aki,” Tetsurou says, turning to Akiteru, whose eyes are narrowed on them.

“Would you two—just—” Akiteru mutters irritably, pushing his hands together in a gesture that Kei knows means ‘get together’, because Kei had said the exact same thing. Luckily Tetsurou is frowning in confusion.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, he’s just grumpy in the mornings. Let’s go,” Kei says, hurrying away before his sleep silly brother says something even more stupid and suspicious.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going? I didn’t drive you here to simply dump you out of the car,” Akiteru calls after them. “Come here.”

Tetsurou takes Kei’s bag without a word and grins as Kei trudges back to his brother. Akiteru pulls him into a tight hug, which is incredibly embarrassing. Nonetheless, Kei returns it.

“Just think about it, Kei. He might reciprocate,” Akiteru says quietly, patting him on the back. _Might_ , Kei thinks, but he won’t say it. _And what if he doesn’t?_ “If you have any personal problems I suggest Keiji; I trust that kid with your life. Or Koushi, he’s a damn angel.”

Kei sighs as he pulls away. “I’m not going away to war, I’ll be back in a week.”

“Just look after yourself, okay? I love you, Kei.”

“Love you too.”

Turning to walk away he finds Tetsurou watching them with a lazy, fond smile curving his mouth.

“S’okay Aki, I’ll make sure he stays outta trouble,” Tetsurou reassures, his speech lazily slurred.

“Thanks Tetsu.”

Refusing to give Kei his bag back – carrying it for him and ignoring his grumbles of complaint – Tetsurou swings his free arm around Kei’s shoulders and walks them over to the bus where everyone is starting to file on. Tetsurou dumps his bag into the storage compartment under the bus and the team greets Kei with varied levels of tiredness.

Kei climbs onto the bus, watching as all the couples take seats next to each other. Tadashi, sitting next to a half-asleep Hitoka, gives Kei an apologetic smile as he walks past but Kei merely shrugs. They used to sit next to each other for school trips but Kei understands his best friend’s desire to sit next to his girlfriend and won’t begrudge him for it.

Tetsurou catches Kei’s wrist and pulls him down into the seat beside him, grinning that stupid grin. He doesn’t say anything though, Tetsurou tends to be far less talkative when he’s tired.

The entire team is quieter than usual. Koutarou looks wide awake, but next to a perpetually scowling Keiji he doesn’t dare say a peep under fear of death. Shouyou is bouncing in his seat excitedly, but Kenma rests his hand on his arm and he stills. Even Lev is quiet, but then he’s… got Morisuke’s fingers laced tightly through his own?

Kei frowns at them and nudges Tetsurou. “When did that happen?”

Tetsurou follows his gaze and smiles as he sees the two holding hands.

“Two days ago, apparently Lev just kissed him,” Tetsurou whispers, way too close to Kei’s ear. “Oblivious idiots finally got their shit together.”

Morbidly amused by the irony of Tetsurou’s words, Kei grunts in response and turns his attention to the end of Keishin’s refresher speech.

“…if I so much as hear lips smacking, so help me, I will turn this bus around,” he reminds them, his cheeks pink with embarrassment like an awkward dad giving his children the birds and the bees talk. “We should arrive at Shinzen Lodge around 10am, so get your rest for a long day of training ahead.”

Despite Keishin’s clear discomfort and worry that he has a bus full of horny teenagers, the bus is quiet, most of them too tired to do anything. Most of the team’s couples are too shy or new to try anything in public – even though the buses seats are rather tall and hide them fairly well – they all know the warning is mostly aimed at Koutarou and Keiji. But Keiji is far too tired and murderous for Koutarou to even move from where Keiji’s is adorably asleep on his shoulder.

“It’ll be nice to get away from this teenage cesspool for a while,” Tetsurou remarks, his eyes on the school grounds as the bus exits the gates. “To just not have to worry about all that… shit. To just play basketball with my friends.”

Usually drama and gossip about Tetsurou doesn’t seem to affect him, like water off a duck’s back, but he’s been weary and irritable for weeks. Kei can’t say that the truth of the situation – Tetsurou’s hook ups with Ana – doesn’t hurt him, but it’s not greater than his concern for Tetsurou. He just wishes Tetsurou would take more care of himself, would consider how his actions affect him.

“To just hang out with you, Tsukki,” Tetsurou murmurs so quietly Kei would almost believe he imagined it if not for the way Tetsurou’s smiling wearily at him.

“Mm, it’ll be good,” he manages to get out without stuttering or even blushing.

“I don’t wanna be rude or anything,” Tetsurou says softly for consideration of the others, his eyelids are heavy and he looks about to pass out. “But I am _not_ a morning person and will definitely be sleeping the entirety of this journey. As much as I would love to get more dirt on Karasuno’s playstyle from you.”

Kei blinks. “That’s… fine.”

Tetsurou rests back and wriggles to get comfortable in his seat. He’s been like that lately, oddly worried and mindful of Kei, reassuring him about the smallest of things. Initially Kei was annoyed because he thought Tetsurou was treating him too cautiously after Kei confided to him about his parents. But it’s different, it’s like Tetsurou’s concerned about how Kei thinks of him, how Kei sees him.

Which isn’t an issue considering that Kei thinks the world of Tetsurou and adores him… Not that Tetsurou will ever know that.

Pulling his headphones over his ears, Kei settles back and listens to Mozart – his meditation music – while he considers strategies their team can implement against Karasuno. With the genius point-guard, Tobio Kageyama, rounding out their first-string line-up, Karasuno will be incredibly difficult to combat. It’s a good thing Nekodani will have the opportunity to practice against them as they will certainly make it to the final rounds of the State Championship.

Something heavy settles on Kei’s shoulder and he thinks it’s Tetsurou trying to get his attention, until he turns his head and gets a face full of messy black hair. Kei freezes as Tetsurou relaxes against his shoulder, comfortable and content. He freezes, immediately hating and loving the weight. He wants it gone because it floods his chest with the most pleasant warmth, and yet he doesn’t want to move for fear of waking Tetsurou and making it go away…

Closing his eyes shut tightly, Kei leans his head back and forces himself to take deep breaths. _It’s fine, it’s nothing_ , he tells himself. Changing his music to something far more distracting, Kei focuses on the lyrics and not the feeling of Tetsurou’s knuckles pressed against the side of his thigh where his hand has fallen or the heat of his body or the steady rhythm of his breathing.

Four hours passes painfully slowly and Tetsurou only ends up leaning into him more throughout, his hand gripping Kei’s arm, subconsciously seeking comfort. No matter how much Kei told himself to relax he was still sitting stiffly, his muscles aching with the tension of his body.

“Hey, hey, hey! We’re here!” Koutarou shouts as the bus comes to a stop in the Lodge’s gravel parking lot. It’s enough to wake everyone.

Pushing his headphones down around his neck, Kei carefully sets his scowl in place as Tetsurou wakes slowly, his fingers digging into Kei’s arm as he uprights himself. Tetsurou looks up at him with heavy-lidded, dark eyes and a small, apologetic smile curls at his lips.

“You drooled on me,” Kei deadpans.

Tetsurou chuckles, rubbing at his eyes adorably. “You could have just pushed me off, I probably wouldn’t have even woken up.”

 _Shit, I should have done that,_ Kei thinks, his cheeks flushing pink with the implication of what _not_ doing that means. But Tetsurou only looks amused, barely looking at him as he stretches his arms above his head.

The team gets off the bus, most of them wobbly legged with having just awoken, and Kei quickly rises, needing to get away from that close proximity to Tetsurou that he’s been trapped in. Outside Keishin is trying to get them all moving in an orderly fashion to collect their bags, but the half-asleep team amble around without paying much attention. He gives up after a while, too tired himself to care.

The Shinzen Lodge is a sprawling property surrounded by pine forests. There are three main buildings, built of stone with strong timber embellishments, the place is rather imposing. Instead of heading towards the building of guest rooms, they enter the main building where the team will be staying inside one of the conference rooms, camping on the floor together – to promote team bonding apparently. Except for Hitoka who will be staying in a guest room with some of the female managers from the other teams.

The coaches have given them half an hour to explore the Lodge before they have to meet at the first gym to start practice. Most of the team are exploring the main building where the games room is but an excited Shouyou, Koutarou and Tetsurou are all practically bouncing to get to the gym. Kei merely follows along with feigned hesitance as Tetsurou tugs at his sleeve.

“I’m _so_ excited! It’s like, a _whole_ week of basketball. How are we even this lucky?” Shouyou babbles with a gigantic grin as they make their way to the gyms. Kenma had somehow managed to disappear before his boyfriend could drag him along, therefore all of Shouyou’s chill has flown out the window. “How many other teams are there? Are they strong? Can we beat them?”

Koutarou laughs heartily, tousling Shouyou’s orange hair that is far brighter in the morning sunshine. Still nowhere near as blinding as his smile though.

“That’s the spirit kid!” Koutarou cheers.

“There are three other teams,” Tetsurou explains. “Shinzen, Ubugawa and Karasuno. They’re all very strong teams; Shinzen especially has won the State Championship three times in the last ten years. But we beat them last year, we can certainly do it again!”

“Do they have amazing small forwards?”

Tetsurou frowns, humming with thought. “Shinzen and Ubugawa tend to play taller, focusing on outside shooters and strong power forwards.”

“Karasuno has a small forward you won’t beat,” Kei deadpans, as if it isn’t incredibly insulting to Shouyou. But it’s true.

Shouyou glares at him, looking like an angry puppy. “What did you say, fishing pole?”

“That’s a new one,” Kei mutters, snorting a laugh. “He’s older than you, smaller, quicker and more agile. He’s Karasuno’s strongest player and best scorer. Precious little sophomores like you who can’t pass efficiently don’t stand a chance.”

“Yeah right! Say that to my face!”

“…I just did.”

“Guys this really isn’t the time to—”

“ _Tsuuuukiiiiiishiiimaaaaa!_ ”

Tetsurou’s words stop with shock more than anything as something small and nimble flies towards them, flinging himself at Kei. _Speak of the devil,_ Kei thinks, stumbling back a step but remaining upright thanks to all the core strength workouts he’s been doing lately. He’s met with a bright grin and a stupidly spiked hairstyle of brown with one section of blond falling onto his forehead.

Yuu Nishinoya clings to Kei, his legs and arms wrapped around him like a toddler clinging to their parent.

“Sup, turd-stick,” Yuu says, ridiculously proud of himself for the immature nickname.

“Get off,” Kei grinds out, annunciating each word.

Yuu gasps dramatically, his eyes alight and grin becoming mischievous. “I’m not going to get you off in public Kei! Maybe later,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Raising an eyebrow, Kei leans so he can look at the two bulky guys approaching. Asahi Azumane is tall and broad – a vast contrast to Yuu – with long, brown hair tied back into a bun and a headband holding back stray strands from his forehead. Beside him, hands stuffed into his pockets and shoulders slumped like a wannabe thug, is Ryuunosuke Tanaka. Despite the awkward smile on Asahi’s friendly face – and the fact that Kei knows them for the dorks they truly are – they would be a rather intimidating sight.

“Your boyfriend is literally right behind you,” Kei remarks.

“And you want him to join us? Geez Kei, Nekodani has turned you into a kinky fucker.”

“Hey, get off him,” Ryuu grumbles, grabbing Yuu by the collar and thankfully detaching him from Kei. “It’s my turn to hug the kinky fucker!”

 _This is_ not _better,_ Kei thinks as Ryuu envelopes him in a tight hug that is completely characteristic despite his shaved head and delinquent scowl. Asahi gives him an apologetic smile and waves his greeting, saving him the further annoyance of more _hugs_.

It’s only been five months since Kei’s seen them, he won’t say he’s missed them but seeing them again isn’t so bad. Their idiotic antics are somewhat amusing at least. He has missed playing basketball with them though. Asahi and Ryuu’s explosive power, more controlled and precise than Koutarou’s. Passing to Yuu who has a freakish ability to move in and out of players like they’re standing still. Quiet conversations with Daichi and Chikara about practice sessions. Late night game strategizing with Koushi…

Kei can feel the eyes of his Nekodani teammates on him; Shouyou and Koutarou in awe and Tetsurou grinning as if this is the most amusing thing that’s happened in his life.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Kei complains, pushing Ryuu away.

In an attempt to win back some of his manliness, Ryuu punches him in the arm. “Yeah, well, we missed you, you asshole. You’re such a shitty communicator, it’s so hard to keep up a messaging conversation with you.”

“He messages me back just fine,” Asahi says, frowning with innocent confusion.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re his favourite,” Yuu says, backhanding his boyfriend in the gut as he unceremoniously gestures at him.

“No, no, Suga’s his favourite,” Ryuu adds, the other two agreeing aggressively. Then his dark eyes trail from Kei to the three boys in Nekodani red he’s surrounded by. “Oh shit, you’re Koutarou and Tetsurou. Watched you guys at Nationals last year, you’re pretty fuckin’ awesome. But we’ll definitely beat you,” he says, folding his arms and setting his stance assertively.

Koutarou is beaming with pride, his chest puffed out and his hands on his hips in a superman pose while Tetsurou chuckles and scratches the back of his head. Kei rolls his eyes. How has he managed to gather the weirdest and most idiotic group of friends he didn’t even want in the first place?

“Oh we’re not all that,” Tetsurou says with fake modesty.

“A-And I’m Sh-Shouyou! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Shouyou all but yells, his cheeks red as he bows to them.

Kei covers his mouth as he snickers. “Did you just _bow_?”

“Sh-Shut up! Noya’s _amazing_ and I want to be just like him!” he gushes, eyes wide and starry. “I look forward to training with you and playing against you Noya!”

Yuu’s blushing deeply and seems to be at a loss for words, which is quite an achievement. “Woah, thanks kid… I like you Shouyou! Ima take you under my wing!”

“Nah uh, no your not! He’s already under _my_ wing!” Koutarou protests, his thick grey brow furrowed.

“But he plays the same position as me,” Yuu argues.

“How do you know that? You _just_ met him!”

“W-Why can’t he be under both of your wings?” Asahi offers, moving forward to stand between them and attempting to mediate the ridiculous argument.

“Don’t be stupid Asahi, you can’t fit a baby bird under _two_ wings,” Yuu complains, frowning at his boyfriend.

Koutarou rubs at his chin, face scrunched in thought. “Hmm, what if we fold one wing over the other…”

“Fine, but my wing gets to go on top.”

“ _What?_ My wings are clearly bigger and should go on top!” Koutarou says, flapping his arms.

“Jesus fuck,” Kei groans, backing away from them quickly. “And with that foolish comment I’m going to take my leave.”

“Suga’s in the first gym,” Asahi informs helpfully, “the team’s already started warming up. Coach Takeda sent us to greet Nekodani and Coach’s Ukai and Nekomata. I guess Shouyou and Koutarou are coming with us…” he trails off, glancing at Shouyou who looks like a kid in a candy store, being argued over by two of his idols. “I’ll keep an eye on them for you.”

“Thanks dude,” Tetsurou says, patting Asahi on the shoulder as he moves to follow Kei. “Kou may be big but he’s all bark and no bite.”

Kei walks away, knowing that the most idiotic of his friends will be fine with Asahi, they’re all harmless despite their bravado. He really hopes that Keiji can distract Koutarou enough over the week to keep him away from Yuu and Ryuu; there is a trio that would cause havoc. Adding the overly enthusiastic and naïve Lev and Shouyou and you have a recipe for disaster.

“So, who’s Suga?” Tetsurou asks, his voice laced with curiosity as the familiar weight of his arm settles on Kei’s shoulder.

“Koushi’s my closest friend from Karasuno.”

“The one who helped you, contacting Aki when you were in hospital?”

Kei nods slowly, remembering the helpless sadness in Koushi’s large brown eyes when he came to visit Kei in hospital. ‘I wish you would have told me you were coming out to them, I would have been there for you,’ Koushi had said, his voice soft, protective. He had threaded their fingers together and kissed Kei on the uninjured side of his forehead; nothing intimate in the action, simply pure concern and support.

“He’s helped me a lot more than once,” Kei responds under his breath.

The words are spoken quietly but Tetsurou is close enough to hear them, and yet he doesn’t respond. Kei can practically hear the onslaught of questions Tetsurou has swimming around his mind, and yet he’s silent, regarding Kei as if searching for something.

_Were you and him…?_

Kei can hear it, hear the words in Tetsurou’s exact tone, heavy with implication and curiosity. And yet he doesn’t ask. For the first time Kei feels uncomfortable in Tetsurou’s presence, the awkward question hanging between them, ugly and unpleasant. More awkward than when Tetsurou was about to ask if he was gay and Kei has no idea why.

Squeaking of sneakers and echoing thuds of basketballs draw Kei’s thoughts away from the strange tension that’s suddenly fallen between them. They enter the main gym, an expansive space of two full sized courts and stands at either end. From what Kei’s already seen, the facilities here are rather impressive.

The remainder of the Karasuno basketball team is here, mostly only freshman Kei doesn’t recognise are shooting hoops and running passing drills. His eyes move across the room until they land on the cropped black hair of a solidly built figure Kei would recognise anywhere, he’s certainly ogled Daichi enough over the last two years.

“Kei?”

The voice is gentle but clear over the sound in the gym. Kei turns at the sound of his name and is met with warm brown eyes, crinkled at the corners with the smile that’s brightening his face. Without hesitation Koushi approaches him, his pale, round face with the beauty mark under his left eye as attractive as Kei remembers.

Tetsurou’s arm falls from his shoulders as Koushi reaches up to wrap his arms around Kei’s neck. Kei returns the embrace easily because he certainly did miss Koushi.

“Hey you, long time no see,” Koushi says, a smile ever evident in his voice.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Kei mumbles, his cheeks warm with Koushi’s affection. “And you talk to me all the time.”

Koushi chuckles as he pulls back, settling back from standing on his toes to hug Kei and grinning.

“Geez you’ve changed though, what’s all this?” he asks playfully, his hands moving down to Kei’s chest and stomach, muscles tightening instinctively under the familiar touch. Kei can _feel_ Tetsurou's dark eyes on them. “You’ve been working hard I see. Nekodani’s been good for you then?”

Kei shrugs. “It’s okay, I guess.”

“Meaning you love it.”

Tucking away a stray strand of soft grey hair that’s fallen into his eyes, Koushi’s eyes move Tetsurou and his smile widens. “You must be Tetsu, nice to finally put an, incredibly accurately described, attractive face to all the stories.”

Kei’s eyes widen and he grits his teeth against the need to deny the fact that he called Tetsurou attractive, which he did, on numerous occasions. With Koushi being a complete outsider in the situation, Kei’s confided in him the most about his feelings for Tetsurou. Which he now realises was a big mistake; he really should have foreseen Koushi saying embarrassing things, he knows him well enough. Tetsurou only gives his trademark cocky grin though.

“Oh? Tsukki’s been talking about me has he?” Tetsurou questions, teasingly nudging Kei in the side.

“Of course! He says you’re a great friend and an amazing captain.”

“Not better than me I hope,” Daichi says, his voice filled with good-humour but his smile is tight with a competitive edge as he approaches to shake Tetsurou’s hand. “Daichi Sawamura, pleasure to meet Nekodani’s famous captain. We appreciate the invite.”

Tetsurou returns the shake firmly, his smile just as tight and scrutinising as Daichi’s. “You’re very welcome, it’s always good to have fresh blood to battle at the training camp. Let me show you around, it must be overwhelming for small town folk like yourself.”

“That won’t be necessary, we’re more than comfortable enough here already.”

“Oh God, here we go,” Koushi sighs.

“Just be thankful Koutarou isn’t here as well,” Kei murmurs, watching Daichi and Tetsurou aggressively shaking hands.

“Hey, hey, hey!”

“Spoke too soon.”


	12. Confusing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed by the amazing [Bec](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Harky21#_=_) <3 so wonderfully thorough and helpful! Thank you!

The court feels good underfoot as Tetsurou bounces on his toes before reaching down to touch them, stretching out his muscles. He’s so ready for this. He’s so ready to just play basketball, all week, not having to worry about personal drama or school. Just basketball drills, basketball strategy, basketball players, basketball teammates. Basketball is all he needs. Basketball and his friends.

Kei stands next to him, fingers flexing where they’re laced together. He’s nervous, but the excited kind of nervous. Tetsurou can see the sparkle of anticipation in his brilliant golden eyes and it makes him happy. It’s their first real game playing together, even though it’s simply a practice game, and Tetsurou is eager to see how they work together on court.

“Go over it again,” Tetsurou prompts and Kei sighs.

“Seriously? I’ve explained twice now.”

“Again,” Koutarou demands, his voice lacking its usual cheerfulness with his game face on.

Kei clicks his tongue but obeys. “Tobio Kageyama, dubbed a genius due to his natural ability and complete vision of the court, he’s instinctive and _always_ makes the best possible choice. It’s also his biggest weakness, discovering what that best possible choice is, before he makes it, is how we counteract him.”

Tetsurou glances at Keiji, who, ever calm and focused, nods his understanding. Kei and Tobio went to Middle School together, they played together for two years and of course the rest of the team knows him from his time at Seijou. Having played Tobio last year in a practice game he’s the one Tetsurou’s least concerned about in terms of surprises. In terms of skill, however, Tobio’s certainly dangerous.

“Daichi Sawamura, he’s a strong leader and is respected by his team, able to boost morale with only a few words. Daichi’s as physically strong as Kou but has a lower centre of gravity, which means he will beat you if you battle on his terms, on the ground under the hoop. You’re much stronger than him in the air and above your head Tetsu, so fight him there.”

“Roger that,” Tetsurou says, grinning and patting Kei on the shoulder appreciatively.

“Ryuunosuke Tanaka, is powerful, as powerful as you, Kou, but not as experienced. You should be able to handle him, as long as you keep an eye on him. He’s skilful and quick, don’t let him get the upper hand because once he gets on a roll he’s very difficult to stop.”

“I got this!” Koutarou cheers, bouncing on his feet and rolling his neck.

“Asahi’s… I’ve never seen him play shooting guard before so I’m not sure what to expect of him. He’s certainly capable and an amazing shot, but I don’t know what to expect of him, skills wise.”

“Yeah, wasn’t he a power forward? What’s with that?” Koutarou questions, raising an eyebrow. “You never said.”

Kei glances down at his fingers, twisting them, uncomfortable with the conversation. He’s told Tetsurou of course, of Karasuno basketball team’s competitive year from hell. The year they had the perfect team and were bound to go far when it all came crumbling down around them.

“He was injured last year, ankle injury, he’s still recovering,” Kei explains, adjusting the straps of his sports glasses as he gazes across the court at his old teammate. “Playing in the pressure of the scoring zone is too much for his body to take. He has more control on the outside. Whether or not it’s a new position, Asahi’s an extremely talented basketballer and I need to be cautious.”

Tetsurou’s eyebrows raise and he stares at Kei in surprise. It’s the highest praise he’s heard Kei give anyone. With how quiet they are, the rest of the team is just as stunned. Kei continues on before they can say anything.

“Yuu Nishinoya will be our biggest concern. He’s smarter, faster, more agile and more experienced than you,” Kei says, watching Shouyou from the corner of his eye. There is nothing antagonistic in Kei’s tone but Shouyou bristles, annoyed anyway. “But you’re the only one fast enough, who we can spare, to cover him. Defend him, stay with him, and don’t even consider attempting to score unless Keiji deems it the best option.”

“Who the hell died and left you in charge?” Shouyou growls, his hands curled into fists.

Kei rolls his eyes but Tetsurou speaks before they start arguing. “Shou, didn’t you say yourself that you respect Yuu and that you want to be just like him?” Shouyou nods vigorously. “Well, now is your opportunity to learn from him. Focus on him, follow his movements and defend him.”

“Listen up kiddos,” Keishin, approaching from where he was talking to Hitoka. “This is a practice game, with much less to prove than the Seijou game. Take it slow, take it easy. We’ve got many more games to play today and we’ll be playing them all week. No need to go all out. Get a feel for them and how they play.”

A whistle blows.

“A’ight, let’s have some fun,” Tetsurou says, grinning broadly as he walks out onto the court.

He examines the Karasuno players as he moves to the centre for hit out. Like his own team, they all seem to be various levels of excited and focussed. Yuu and Ryuu are excitable, jumping around enthusiastically, while Daichi looks calm and Asahi looks nervous.

Tetsurou’s gaze catches on Tobio. The kid is tall and solid for his age, his dark hair falling over his head much more neatly than Tetsurou’s. Tobio’s expression is unreadable, somewhere between impassive and a scowl. He mostly looks vague and unfocused, but in those dark blue eyes Tetsurou can see the subtle calculations. Tetsurou can see the genius behind the ‘idiot’ Kei claims him to be.

As Kei walks past, Tobio’s gaze follows him, eyes narrowing warily. Kei either doesn’t notice or purposely disregards him. Tobio hasn’t paid much attention to anyone else on their team, not even his opponent in Keiji. Yet he seems concerned about Kei, he knows as well as anyone here what Kei is capable of. It’s true, Kei’s skill will be incredibly damaging in games, but if Tobio thinks that’s the worst of his problems he has another thing coming.

“Yo, Tsukki, you got an unfair advantage with all that info you’ve got on us,” Ryuu comments, shoving Kei playfully in the arm.

“And you have no information on us, right?” Kei says, smirking as he nods his head at Koushi and Kiyoko who are talking on the sidelines.

Koushi seems to notice Kei’s attention on him and winks at Kei mischievously. Kei says that Kiyoko is an even better data collector than Hitoka, and that Koushi understands people, can read them and knows how they think. Knowing the ins and outs of how the opposition plays is a massive part of basketball. Koushi and Kiyoko are huge assets for Karasuno.

Grinning at Daichi, who smiles tightly at him in turn, Tetsurou jumps as the ball is thrown up. With what Kei said about Daichi, he’s always going to win this aerial battle, and does. He knocks the ball down to where Keiji’s running past. Tobio reacts quickly, cutting him off and forcing him to pass to Kei. Daichi’s half-step behind combined with Kei’s look-away, rocket pass is enough to let Tetsurou fly at the hoop unimpeded, sinking the ball.

“Nice pass,” Tetsurou says, his palm still prickling with the familiar sting of the powerful pass as he bumps fists with Kei.

“Nice jump.”

“Let’s get it back!” Daichi calls to his team.

Karasuno responds in kind. Ryuu dribbling the ball to their scoring end, as quick and unpredictable as Kei informed, but Koutarou’s defence is solid. Ryuu passes to Tobio when he runs into the immobile roadblock that is Koutarou. Before the ball even touches his fingers Tobio’s eyes swiftly sweep the court, the ball leaves his hands as soon as it gets there, too fast for anyone to react.

Asahi takes the pass – as fast as Kei’s – with ease and straightens to shoot. Under the hoop, Tetsurou watches Kei hold back from defending the shot, those gold eye meticulously scrutinising Asahi’s every movement. The three-pointer scores and Karasuno cheers for Asahi, Yuu jumping on his back in celebration.

Tetsurou can’t help but smile. He can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose a teammate to injury. It must be a relief for them to have Asahi back.

“You slacking against your old friends, beanpole?” Shouyou mutters as he passes Kei. “Figures.”

Kei barely glances at him. “Just focus on keeping up with your own mark, while you still can.”

“Shrimpy, we’re on offence!” Tetsurou orders before Shouyou has a chance to bite back. “Let’s go!”

Scowling at Kei, Shouyou makes his way down the court.

Tetsurou isn’t worried about Kei. He can see through the nonchalant poker face. He can see the determination and competitive spirit shining in Kei’s eyes, even if no one else can. Shooting guards play a slow game, a strategic game. Like chess. One move after the other, learning about your opponent and knowing how they’re going to attack to stop it. It’s why Kei plays it so well.

The game continues on, score for score. Kei and Keiji are passing well and setting up plays, in sync with each other as if they’ve been playing together for years. Koutarou and Tetsurou react to their plays, relying on them without a second thought. Their gameplay has much to fault but it’s certainly on the right track. The only problem is Shouyou, who is only getting increasingly frustrated as Yuu runs circles around him, stealing the ball as Keiji attempts to give Shouyou a scoring morale boost. The kid is beside himself, his annoyance only making his play worse.

After Kei sinks a three-pointer, Tetsurou nudges Koutarou subtly, pretending to straighten his wristband. Their gazes meet and Tetsurou tilts his head in Shouyou’s direction, Koutarou nods knowingly.

Yuu has the ball, dribbling down the court, moving around Shouyou like he’s standing still. Suddenly the ball is knocked straight out of Yuu’s hands and Koutarou has it.

“Shou!” Koutarou calls and he reacts instinctively, taking the pass from Koutarou and taking advantage of Yuu’s surprise. Shouyou moves quickly, almost impossibly agile as he dances around the other players and scores.

“Good work kid!” Tetsurou says, high-fiving Shouyou and joining in his hooting celebration with Koutarou.

This is what they’re here for, what they’re playing for. Teamwork. To finally combine their individual skills into an unstoppable force. They’ll play over and over until they connect, until they’re all working together. It’s not going to be easy.

The half-game finishes with Karasuno leading by a few points. The Nekodani team knows that the result doesn’t matter, only the gameplay. Which, in comparison to their State Championship team from last year, was fairly poor. But they’ll get there. They certainly have the talent to go further than last year’s team. If the talent – Shouyou and Kei – can get their heads out of their asses long enough to cooperate.

Tetsurou’s barely paying attention to Keishin’s post-game analysis with the team, most of the points are things Tetsurou considered himself anyway. He’s watching Karasuno. They’re doing the same thing, Coach Takeda giving them a similar talk. Standing separate from the team circle is Koushi and Tobio, they’re huddled close together and Tobio is intently concentrated on Koushi as he speaks. The reverence in his blue eyes and the way he’s leaning into Koushi is impossible to miss. When Koushi finishes speaking they’re quiet, staring at each other. Koushi’s smile lacks its usual brightness, and instead it’s soft and affectionate.

 _No Tetsurou. It’s too late,_ Tooru had said. This is what he meant.

“Tetsu?” Keishin draws his attention back.

“Okay guys, two more games and then we have our lunch break. Let’s make the most of them!”

 

* * *

 

“Hey Ken,” Tetsurou calls, waving his best friend over.

They just finished their game against Shinzen and Nekodani’s second string team just finished their game against Ubagawa’s second string. All the teams are taking an hour lunch break.

Reluctantly Kenma deviates from his course towards his boyfriend and trudges over to Tetsurou. His best friend doesn’t say anything, simply raises a dark eyebrow as he stops before Tetsurou.

“Is Shouyou okay? He’s been acting weird lately, much more volatile than usual.”

Kenma fidgets, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know of any specific reason that he would be acting weird... lately.”

Tetsurou narrows his eyes. “But you do know something?”

“It’s… It’s personal.”

“Are you guys fighting? You seemed fine on the bus… Did he _do_ something?”

Kenma rolls his eyes. “No, Kuro. It’s personal to _him_ , not something I can tell you about and not for me to say.”

“Okay. I understand,” Tetsurou says, nodding as he gazes up to where Shouyou and Koutarou are bouncing out of the gym to go eat. “Can you please talk to him for me? Find out if he’s okay and talk to him about the games. He doesn’t need to be that frustrated, it’s still early in forming the team and only the first day of training camp. We all have a lot of work to do.”

“I would have asked him anyway,” he mumbles with annoyance.

“Thanks, Ken. I’m just concerned about him, it’s good to know he has you. Now, go work your boyfriend magic and make the kid happy again,” Tetsurou says, his grin falling quickly as he realises how the words sound. “No, wait. That sounds bad. No boyfriend magic. You’re banned from using boyfriend magic.”

Kenma sighs, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “I guess I’ll have to go break the bad news to Shouyou that I’m banned from giving him a blowjob tonight.”

Tetsurou gasps dramatically. “Kenma Kozume! That is not something to joke about, get your ass back here young man!”

Kenma waves a hand dismissively as he walks away and out of the gym to find Shouyou. Tetsurou grins after his best friend. Shouyou’s a good kid who brings light into the hermit life Kenma has created for himself and, most importantly, he makes Kenma happy. Even if Kenma’s affections are difficult to discern to most, Tetsurou can see them bright as day.

The gym’s mostly cleared out by now, Tetsurou lagging behind, lost in his own thoughts about the team and things they need to improve. The list is long. Teamwork being number one; there are still many kinks in the chain that need to be straightened out.

Tetsurou’s changing out of his basketball shoes into sneakers at the door when movement at the corner of his eye catches his attention. Pushed up against the wall of the gym is Koushi, smiling giddily up at Tobio, who is leaning against him bodily. Tetsurou glances around the gym and realises they’re the last people there and they think they’re alone. Partly concealed by the door, Tetsurou watches them, curiosity keeping him in place.

“You played wonderfully this morning,” Koushi remarks, smiling an encouraging smile that could stop a person from committing any crime.

“Thanks to you,” Tobio replies, his voice lower and less harsh than it is when ordering his team around in the game.

Leaning his head back against the wall, Koushi tilts his chin up, his warm brown eyes flickering to Tobio’s mouth. He concedes to Koushi’s silent request eagerly, leaning down to press their lips together. Tobio’s movements are hurried with inexperience but Koushi’s hand comes up to thread through his hair and he guides Tobio into a softer kiss.

_Is that the way Koushi would silently ask Kei for a kiss? Is that the way he would guide Kei to kiss him?_

Waking up to himself and realising he’s observing a private moment, Tetsurou walks out of the gym.

Even if he hadn’t actually asked Kei the question like he’d meant to – _were you and him, together?_ – Tetsurou knows the answer. It’s clear from the way Kei speaks of Koushi; it’s clear from the way they speak to each other; it’s clear from the way Koushi touched him. People don’t touch others like that unless they know each other intimately. _Especially_ Kei.

Tetsurou rakes his fingers through his hair. _It’s none of my business anyway, Kei’s free to do as he likes,_ he reminds himself sternly.

When he enters the cafeteria, the teams are mostly already set at tables, discussing the games they’ve already played or the rest of the week ahead of them. Tetsurou makes his way over to the food and feels his stomach rumble in anticipation as he contemplates the different types of sandwiches filled with hearty meats and fresh vegetables. After making a selection of chicken salad on wholemeal bread, with a side of fruit salad and a bottle of water, Tetsurou gazes about the room.

Keiji and Koutarou are huddled together at the table with the rest of Nekodani, their fingers laced together and Keiji smiling that small, gentle smile reserved for Koutarou alone. Shouyou’s rambling away, a cheerful light in Kenma’s eyes as he listens quietly, Tadashi and Hitoka across from them sitting close together. Kei’s sitting with Karasuno, talking with Ryuu and Yuu, being praised on his muscle mass and questioned about who actually got him to eat decently.

Tetsurou doesn’t want to intrude on any of his friends. He knew it would be like this, as it has been over the last few weeks. He doesn’t begrudge his friends their happiness, they deserve it and Tetsurou would do anything to keep them that way. Kei was the company he was planning on relying on but he doesn’t want to interrupt his time catching up with his friends.

Making his way out of the cafeteria, Tetsurou sits himself on the hill just outside the gyms. It’s a warm day in fall, the sun shining down and heating his skin pleasantly. The lush green grass is thick and comfortable after playing a few high energy games.

He’s not usually one for solitude but he doesn’t particularly feel like talking with anyone at the moment. He has so much to consider about the team, about how to get them where they need to go, about how to get them ready for the State Championship and then Nationals. Tetsurou doesn’t believe in impossibility, even if it feels like the start of a steep uphill climb at the moment, he knows the hill will level out and that the initial push is always the most difficult.

Up is the only way they can go. He won’t allow anything else. He knows what they could be capable of, they just need to work for it.

“Is this seat taken, Tetsu?”

A pleasant voice draws Tetsurou from his ruminations and he glances up to see Koushi smiling down at him, the afternoon sun haloing his head of soft hair. Reflexively he returns the smile.

“Not at all, go ahead,” Tetsurou says, gesturing at the spot beside him with his fork. Having finished his sandwich he spears a piece of watermelon from his fruit salad and relishes the sweetness as he chews the pink fruit. “Karasuno’s doing even better than I expected. It’s great to be able to practice against you guys.”

Koushi nods, leaning back on his hands casually. “With Asahi still unsteady, it’s the best we can hope for. Tobio’s been a godsend; we certainly wouldn’t play as well as we do without him.”

“You and him…” Tetsurou trails off and Koushi glances up to meet his questioning gaze.

“Yeah, me and him. You saw us in the gym didn’t you?”

“Er, yeah, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Koushi says, smiling reassuringly. “If it were up to me we’d be touching and kissing as much as we like in public. But I know it makes Tobio uncomfortable. He’s usually more careful, but he was happy about the way Karasuno’s playing, excited that he’s becoming so in sync with the team.”

Tetsurou pushes his fork through his fruit salad. “Somehow I think that has more to do with you. You’re guiding him, helping him to understand the team, helping him understand the way they play and what they need to play at their best,” he says and pauses, but Koushi doesn’t comment. “You were Karasuno’s point guard... Weren’t you annoyed he took your place on the team?”

“Yes,” Koushi answers without hesitation. “And I worked hard to get that position back. I still do and will never stop fighting for it. But the best team is on court and that’s all that matters.”

“And yet you like him? Romantically.”

Koushi snorts a laugh. “They’re separate things. I help Tobio with the team because that’s the best thing for the team. I like Tobio because of who he is. I like how passionate his is, I like how despite appearances he genuinely cares about people but doesn’t know how to act on that and I like how cute he is when he’s confused.”

“It just seems to’ve happened fairly quickly. I mean, it’s only been, what, two months?”

Silence follows the question, making Tetsurou glance up at Koushi, who’s watching him with narrowed eyes. For someone so seemingly kind and gentle Tetsurou feels nervous under that scrutinising gaze, like he’s on display and wide open for Koushi to see _everything_. A smile curls the corner of Koushi’s mouth but it doesn’t reach his eyes, it’s unnerving.

“Do you mean because of Tooru or because of Kei?”

More silence stretches between them as Tetsurou’s eyes widen with surprise. Really, in knowing Keiji as long as he has and as well as he does, Tetsurou shouldn’t be so thrown by this borderline mind reading. It’s creepier when you don’t know the person.

Tetsurou opens his mouth to respond but no words come out so he closes it again.

“Tobio’s told me about Tooru,” Koushi explains, understanding Tetsurou’s confusion. “He didn’t _say_ that Tooru likes him, of course, Tobio’s not aware of people enough to notice those things. But I could tell, the way he spoke about him and the things Tooru would do for him, the way he’d treat him. And maybe Tobio felt the same way, without realising. I didn’t know until we were already together and even if I did, it wouldn’t have affected the way I felt… The way I feel.

“And Kei…” Koushi trails off, his morose smile turning into a playful grin. “We were never together, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Frowning, Tetsurou asks, “Why would I be worried about that?”

Koushi’s eyes are narrowed on him again, but there’s an amused glint in his eyes, like he knows something Tetsurou doesn’t.

“ _I’m_ not exactly Kei’s type,” Koushi continues, ignoring Tetsurou’s question. The inflection on his words suggesting meaning Tetsurou doesn’t comprehend. Something _secretive_. “But we were close. Neither of us had met anyone who liked boys before. Well, aside from Asahi. At first Kei and I would just talk about it, about being gay and what it meant and how we felt. It was nice to have someone to confide in. Then it turned into wondering, ‘what would it feel like to kiss a boy?’ and then we answered that question together.”

Tetsurou can see it. Kei pressing Koushi against the wall, gazing down at him with those intense golden eyes and leaning in to kiss him, opening his mouth and licking experimentally at Koushi’s lips. Tetsurou feels a nerve in his jaw twitch and puts his empty fruit salad bowl down.

“If you were physical with each other and cared about each other as much as Kei’s told me, then why weren’t you together?”

Koushi laughs, tilting his head to catch Tetsurou’s gaze. “There is a big difference in kissing someone for the sake of kissing them and kissing someone because you really _want_ them, because you can’t live without kissing them. You can _feel_ it, in the touch, in the warmth... But Kei and I were friends first and never let anything get in the way of that.”

Tetsurou nods, uncapping his water bottle to have a much needed drink. “So you were kissing friends?”

“Oh, we did a lot more than kiss.”

A sharp inhale causes Tetsurou to choke on the water and forces him to spray water out onto the grass. Koushi’s hand is on his back soothingly as he coughs and attempts to regain control over his breathing.

“Wh-what?” Tetsurou gasps, his throat tight with the distress of choking.

Koushi’s grins deviously. “No penetration or anything. Just lots of making out and frottage and handjobs and blowjobs. And, _wow_ , Kei’s incredible with his mouth,” he adds, winking.

“Well, shit, I really didn’t need to know that,” Tetsurou mumbles, feeling something twist in his stomach and clearing his throat. “You’re as bad as Kou.”

“Must be in the name.”

Some of the teams are leaving the cafeteria, their boisterous conversation pulling Koushi and Tetsurou’s attention away. Ryuu and Yuu are shoving Kei playfully and Kei is actually smirking back at them, probably calling them idiots to rile them up.

“You seem to have gotten close quickly, you and Kei,” Koushi comments quietly, his brown eyes watching Kei. “It took me the better part of a year to get as close to him as you have in two months. Granted, he was a little lost back then. But he never really stopped being guarded and closed off to people. But not you, he let you in.”

Tetsurou shrugs, bringing his knees up and resting his elbows on them. “It took a while, but he did. He told me about what happened and I know him now, I know him well. I still feel like he’s keeping things from me… But he’s allowed to.”

Koushi hums. “You’re really good friends.”

“Yeah, I think this year would be pretty lonely and shitty without Kei,” Tetsurou says, smiling. “He’s funny and fun and I love hanging out with him. He deserves to be happier and more confident, he’s awesome and I just can’t understand why he thinks so little of himself.” He glances over to find Koushi watching him. “What?”

A smile stretches Koushi’s mouth. “That’s more like it… You don’t seem like yourself, Tetsu. Not that I know you, just from what Kei’s told me. He said that you smile a lot and I think that’s the first time you’ve smiled since I sat down.”

“I’m just focussed on the team and thinking about the week ahead.”

Koushi purses his lips. “If you say so. I know you don’t know me either, but I’m a good listener if you need to talk to someone. Or Kei, you know, he cares about you a lot Tetsu. He could even help you relieve some stress… If you know what I mean.”

The way Koushi bites his lip and waggles his eyebrows makes it all too clear what he means. Tetsurou’s eyes flicker to where Kei is standing at the bottom of the hill, now watching them curiously. Tetsurou ducks his head quickly, warmth creeping up his chest and neck, feeling oddly vulnerable as his abdominal muscles tighten.

He forces a laugh which only comes out sounding awkward. “Kei and I aren’t like that, he’s my friend.”

There is a pause before Koushi mutters, “Interesting you didn’t bring up being straight.” The movement of him standing as he speaks makes it so Tetsurou can’t hear him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Koushi says, shaking his head but his smile says otherwise. “Good luck with the rest of your games for the day. I’m looking forward to the week. Thanks again for the invite, even if you didn’t do it for completely selfless reasons.”

His brown eyes glance down to Kei meaningfully as he says it and Tetsurou frowns.

“No, I extended the invite to train against strong teams. It’s for the Nekodani team.”

Koushi hums, smiling smugly and waving. “See you later, Tetsu.”

Tetsurou watches him walk down the hill, confused about what just happened, confused about their conversation. Koushi pats Kei on the arm as he passes but Kei catches his wrist, asking something with a furrowed brow. Even without hearing their words Tetsurou can see Koushi reassuring Kei and offering a kind smile before walking away. Kei watches after him, fist clenching and unclenching, before he turns to approach Tetsurou.

Seeing others heading back into the gym Tetsurou collects his lunch tray and decides to go back to the cafeteria. He absolutely _cannot_ have a conversation with Kei right now, there are too many images swimming around his head. Kei on his knees, his jaw dropped open, his blond hair threaded through clenched fingers—

“Hey, have a nice chat with Koushi?” Kei asks, catching up with Tetsurou as he’s coming back out of the cafeteria and making him stop at the door.

“Yep.”

“What… What did he say?”

Tetsurou shakes his head, smiling tightly. “We were just talking about the game and our teams.”

Kei clicks his tongue. “Usually you’re a better liar than that.”

“Okay, fine,” he heaves a sigh. “We were talking about you and how much of a broody dork you were in your first two years of high school. I maintain that you’re _still_ a dork, the dino obsession is proof of that.”

That worried line forms between Kei’s eyebrows and his mouth drops open to speak but no words come out. Not that it matters anymore, Tetsurou’s gaze is caught on Kei’s lips as he closes his mouth again, pressing them together. His lips are chapped and pink from where he bites them, deep in thought or nervously. All Tetsurou can think about is seeing them red and swollen and stretched.

“Tetsu?”

“Yeah? Sorry, what?”

“I asked you if you knew what Shouyou’s problem is,” Kei says slowly, licking his lips.

“Oh, uh, Kenma’s on the case. Don’t take what the kid says too personally Tsukki, I think he’s going through some stuff,” Tetsurou says, grinning and casually slinging his arm around Kei’s shoulders. It’s such a natural motion to him now. “C’mon Tsukki, we have more ball to play. No slacking off now.”

Tetsurou needs a distraction from all of this...

He needs basketball. He needs to focus on dribbling, jumping, guarding, shooting. It’s calming and simple. Basketball is logical and physical. Basketball isn’t confusing.

 

* * *

 

“What did you say to him?”

Koushi glances up from where he’s stacking basketballs in a rack to where Kei’s leaning casually against the doorframe of the equipment storage room. The lightbulb in there is only dim but Kei can see the smile curl Koushi’s mouth immediately. He might seem sweet and gentle and humble but appearances are deceiving; Koushi is one of the most cunning people Kei has ever met. It’s one of many things Kei likes about him.

Tadashi is in there also, glancing nervously between them. Tadashi knows about Tetsurou, knows how Kei feels about him and Kei trusts his best friend with anything Koushi might say. They’re both his closest friends. But their views on the ‘Tetsurou issue’ differ greatly.

While Tadashi is concerned about it, Koushi is supportive of the idea of a relationship between Kei and Tetsurou – apparently actively so. Kei knows Koushi well enough to know he’s _up_ to something.

After a long afternoon of training and dinner and more training in the evening, they’re the last ones in the gym to clean up after the day's practice games. It’s late, the night sky dark and full of twinkling stars away from the light pollution of the city.

“Tetsu likes you, you know.”

“He doesn’t,” Kei responds without pause.

“Oh but he does, he just doesn’t know it yet. Trust me, Kei,” Koushi says, a small sincere smile dimpling his cheeks. “Tetsu likes you and it’s only a matter of time before he realises it.”

“I don’t think you should give Tsukki false hope like this,” Tadashi interrupts, his voice small and nervous. “I’ve known Tetsurou for two years and he’s never shown interest in boys before, even though he has two gay best friends. I just really don’t think he’ll ever… Sorry Tsukki.”

“But Kei isn’t just _any_ boy, Kei’s special and Tetsu knows that, he all but said it. I understand that you’re worried Tadashi, I am too. I don’t want to see Kei get hurt. That’s why I wouldn’t be saying this if I wasn’t certain. It must be difficult for Tetsu… You remember what it was like realising that you liked boys, Kei.”

Kei swallows hard, remembering all too well. The denial, the refusal to even consider it, the hurt when he finally accepted that he was different. Weird. Gay.

“He goes on dates and makes out with girls all the time,” Tadashi counters.

“That’s called over compensating. Also, bisexuality.”

“What did you talk about with him?” Kei asks again.

“Tetsu saw me kissing Tobio and was asking about it,” Koushi answers, shrugging as he sets back to work storing away the basketballs. “And he asked about the manner of our previous relationship.”

“And you said…?”

“I said that you have amazing cocksucking skills,” Koushi grins back at him.

Tadashi grimaces. “I really didn’t need to know that.”

“That’s exactly what Tetsu said,” Koushi chuckles.

“Exactly, meaning he doesn’t like me,” Kei says.

There is a mischievous glint in Koushi’s eyes when he glances up at Kei. “Except that when Tetsu said it he was blushing. _Also_ , the reason he gave for not ‘relieving some stress’ with you was because you’re friends, _not_ because he’s straight.”

Kei feels the flame of hope, which he can’t snuff out no matter how hard he tries, flare in his chest. It warms him. He hates it. It only offers disappointment and hurt. But he can’t let it go, doesn’t want to. Like the pathetic masochist he is, Kei clings to it.

“Stop flirting with him on my behalf” Kei sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have your own toy boy to relieve your sexual frustration?”

Koushi tilts his head. “You know it’s not like that, Kei.”

Kei only nods, because he does know, in mushy romantic detail, how much Koushi adores Tobio. It makes Kei cringe, he spent two years in middle school playing with Tobio and will never understand what Koushi sees in that awkward basketball dork. But then Kei’s not exactly in a position to judge with his infatuation with his own basketball dork.

 _Tetsu’s not mine,_ Kei reminds himself. _And never will be._

The room falls silent as they finish of their cleaning duties. Kei simply watches his friend’s clean, not offering help since they’re almost done, and since they’d both likely have to fix the way he did it anyway. Kei does he best not to think about Tetsurou, which is always easier said than done.

“We should go back to the rooms, it’s past curfew,” Tadashi says, moving to the door.

“That’s your fault for being so fussy about cleaning.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!”

Kei waves him away. “I’ll be right after you.”

With a nod Tadashi leaves. It takes Koushi a few more minutes to finish and lock up the equipment storage room. Koushi being the obvious choice to be entrusted with the task by Coach Takeda.

“Kids at school still being assholes?” Koushi asks.

Kei grunts as they make their way back to the main building of the lodge. “There will always be asshole kids.”

“I hear you’re the one standing up to them this time.”

“Yeah, well, someone has to. And I learned from the best.”

Koushi grins. “Ryuu always was a bad influence on you. Just tell me that you didn’t make anyone cry or piss themselves like he did.”

“You know I’m more subtle than that,” Kei says and Koushi nods his agreement. “How did you find out I was standing up to them?”

“Tadashi. He’s very talkative once you get him started.”

Kei clicks his tongue. “Of course. Is there anyone you can’t squeeze for information?”

“You.”

“And thank fuck for that,” Kei says, smirking.

It’s strange being back with Koushi. Like no time has passed at all, like he’s still at Karasuno and never left. Koushi’s easy to be around and easy to talk to. Always has been. Since being without Tadashi after elementary school, Kei’s been a loner. Until he met Koushi. Koushi was the one that presented the possibility that not everyone in the world is an idiotic, self-serving asshole.

“You know, I’m not trying to force you into anything, right? I mean, I may be trying to change your mind and persuade you, but only because I have a good feeling about this. Your crush on Daichi was spectacularly misguided and intense considering your ability to talk yourself out of anything,” Koushi says, his brow furrowed in thought as he scratches his nose. “But this… I’ve never seen you like this Kei. You _watch_ him. And the way you move around him, the way you position yourself next to him…”

“And here I thought you promised never to bring up the Daichi thing…” Kei comments, his voice quiet as he attempts to ignore the implication of what Koushi’s saying.

“And I know you think it’s just you, but it isn’t,” Koushi continues as if Kei hadn’t spoken. “Tetsu always goes to you, between games, during breaks, after scoring. His arm is around your shoulders and pulling you in close. And the way he _looks_ at you, Kei.”

Kei’s jaw clenches and he slows to a stop outside the main building, staring at the small lamps along the footpath. Noticing he’s no longer following along, Koushi stops too.

“Don’t.”

Koushi heaves a sigh. “Listen. I know you and I know exactly how you’re trying to deal with this poetic notion of unrequited love. I know you’re trying to ignore it. I know you’re shoving down everything and anything you feel about him, trying to keep yourself in check around him, using every ounce of willpower to not simply reach out and touch him. Because that’s what you want. I see it in the twitch of your fingers and hear it in the way you have to stop anytime you’re describing something he did.

“You have self-control and discipline that most people lack. Just give Tetsu time. He’s not ready but he’s clearly working through it. Like I said, you know _exactly_ what he’s going through. Be there for him, be patient. It’s always darkest before the dawn.”

As Kei listens he stares down at where his fingers a laced together, wishing he could believe Koushi, wishing that he could believe that things will get better and that one day Tetsurou will finally see him. Wishing that these were Tetsurou’s fingers woven through his own.

“It’s not actually, even before the sun starts to rise it lights the sky because of the way the light moves around the surface of the earth.”

Koushi narrows his eyes on Kei, a smirk twitching at his lips. “You know what I mean, smartass.”

“I’m fine,” Kei says.

“I didn’t believe that the first time you said it to me and I’m certainly not going to now.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Hm, you actually seem to believe that one, at least a little. I’ll take it.”

A grins brightens Koushi’s face and he turns to make his way into the building. Rolling his eyes but unable to control the smile stretching his lips, Kei follows after him. Koushi rambles about something cute Tobio did on the way up the stairs to their rooms and Kei tries really hard not to cringe. Of course he does though and of course Koushi notices, laughing like that was his intention. It probably was.

It’s strange how well Koushi knows him. Kei doesn’t remember when he let him in, he doesn’t remember opening up to him. It must have been smooth and comfortable because all of the sudden Koushi was there, friendly and kind and not putting up with Kei’s bullshit or running away from it. Even playing along with it. Not as well as Tetsurou does though, not feeding and playing off it as well as Tetsurou does. But then Kei doubts anyone will ever understand him the way Tetsurou does. It was immediate with him, without transition or time, it just happened.

“I’m so glad we’re all here, it’s really good to see you Kei,” Koushi says as they’re about to part ways on Nekodani’s level. The other teams occupying the level above. “We all miss you. _I_ miss you.”

He reaches up, wrapping his arms around Kei’s neck the way he did this morning. Kei leans into it, much more relaxed now that they’re alone, pulling Koushi into his body. There will never be words enough to express how grateful he is for Koushi, for everything he’s done for Kei. Koushi was his saviour, time after time, just like Akiteru.

Kei hums an agreement, knowing Koushi would never expect words, knowing that the sound means as much as a verbal response.

“And I have all week to torment you. So you should probably go get some rest,” Koushi says, grinning deviously as he pulls back, making his way up the stairs. “Sleep well, Kei.”

“Night.”

Kei watches Koushi go a moment before turning on his heel and making his way to the Nekodani room. He doesn’t make it far though, coming to a halt as he sees Tetsurou watching him. The expression on his face is dark; he looks annoyed, which is not something he’s used to seeing Tetsurou look.

“Hey,” Kei says cautiously. “Sorry I’m late, I was just—”

“I need to talk to you,” Tetsurou says, using that tone reserved for giving commands on the court. The tone that leaves no room to questioning.

“Sure…” Kei responds, frowning.

Without another word Tetsurou walks away and Kei follows hesitantly. He certainly doesn’t recall doing anything wrong, and Tetsurou seemed fine with him all day. They played basketball and ate meals and played more basketball. Had he not been playing well enough? If not, why hadn’t Tetsurou called him out on it sooner?

Tetsurou leads Kei into the bathroom and suddenly he feels nervous as Tetsurou checks the bathroom stalls.

“You’re being weird,” Kei comments, lacing his fingers together and biting at his lip.

“Yeah, well, wouldn’t want anyone to hear.”

“This is a bathroom, anyone could walk in at any moment.”

Tetsurou shakes his head. “The team’s already asleep,” he glances about the room, avoiding Kei’s gaze. “Where were you?”

“Didn’t realise you were such a stickler for rules. I was just helping Koushi and Tadashi close up the second gym. Sorry I didn’t make it in time for curfew, Mr. Officer.”

“Tadashi was back ten minutes ago.”

Kei narrows his eyes, thoroughly confused at where Tetsurou is going with this. “And…?”

Huffing, Tetsurou shakes his head, like he thinks Kei’s acting dumb. Tetsurou’s hair is messier than usual, which means he’s been pushing his fingers through it, and he looks weary, wearier than the simple fatigue of a day of training, and frustrated. He’s wearing a long sleeved shirt but the sleeves are shoved up his arms even though it’s a cold night.

Tetsurou, ever cool, calm and collected Tetsurou Kuroo, looks flustered and aggravated. It’s… disconcerting.

“Koushi told me, about what you used to do together, about the friends with benefits arrangement you had together. But you can’t do that anymore Kei because he’s with Tobio. I’m assuming you know that though, with how close you two are. Maybe you just don’t care. Or maybe you’re simply still pining after him. Either way you can’t. And I won’t allow it. Not while you’re here. We’re here to play basketball, not… blow other team’s players in storage rooms after curfew.”

The words flow rapidly out of Tetsurou’s mouth, leaving no time for Kei to respond even if he was capable. He’s far too stunned for that though. Tetsurou is accusing him of… blowing Koushi _while_ Koushi’s in a relationship with Tobio? It’s possibly the most absurd and amusing thing Kei’s ever heard, and yet he’s flooded with anger.

Kei carefully keeps his expression nonchalant, raising a single, delicate eyebrow. “You think ten minutes is enough time for a decent blowjob? What second rate skank’s been blowing you?”

Tetsurou looks even more surprised than Kei.

“Tsukki… you _can’t_ ,” he pleads, his eyes large and sad.

Kei clenches his teeth together. “Then it’s a good thing I’m _not_. First of all, I would never do that to someone, even someone I don’t like, like Tobio. Second, Koushi and I are just friends and we will never be more than that; I don’t want more, he doesn’t want more and we’re both fine with that. Third, what happened between me and Koushi in the past has _nothing_ to do with you and he shouldn’t have told you.”

The silence that falls between them is deafening and heavy. It clings to Kei’s skin and freezes him in place, staring into Tetsurou’s eyes, both of them hurt and confused for vastly differing reasons. Tetsurou doubles over, like he’s been punched in the stomach and then squats, fingertips on the cool tiles floor to steady himself.

“Jesus, Tsukki, I…” Tetsurou’s voice catches, words getting stuck in his throat. Then he gazes up, meeting Kei’s gaze. “I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry. I don’t know why I… _Fuck_. My dad cheated on my mom once and I just, I have a thing about it and I was worried about you getting hurt and,” he rambles, digging his fingers into his dark hair and shaking his head. “I’m really sorry, Tsukki.”

Kei blinks down at him. Tetsurou looks small and he feels the need to ask ‘what’s wrong?’ He’s not even mad anymore because all he wants to do is hold Tetsurou.

“I get it,” Kei says, voice soft. “It’s fine.”

“It’s _not_ fine,” Tetsurou says firmly, standing quickly and closing the distance between them. Kei’s almost pushed back into the door with the force of Tetsurou’s hug.

“Are you… Are you okay?” Kei asks, not sure he wants to know the answer. If yes, does that mean he isn’t struggling with his sexuality as Koushi believes? But if no… Kei hates the idea of Tetsurou not being okay.

“Yeah, it happened a few years ago but my mom was almost destroyed by it. She forgave my dad and they’re okay now but I can never forget it. I just remember hearing her crying and crying and—It broke her. But God, I know you would _never_ ,” his voice quiet but firm as his fingers clutch at the back of Kei’s jacket. “You would never do something like that. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and trusted you. I _do_ trust you. I was just worried about you… I’m _really_ sorry, Tsukki.”

Kei nods, swallowing thickly. “I know.”

Tetsurou sighs, resting his chin on Kei’s shoulder. “Today was fuckin’ frustrating with the fact that we lost _every_ game. I think I’m just a little stressed. But I do have some ideas on how to fix things for tomorrow; me and Kou have been brainstorming.”

He pulls back, hand still on Kei’s shoulder and lopsided grin in place, even if it looks more tired than usual he looks more like himself. Kei tries not to be disappointed by Tetsurou’s explanation, he really does.

“Sounds dangerous,” Kei comments.

Tetsurou snorts a laugh. “Yeah, don’t worry, Keiji helped. Shrimpy got over his annoyed thing late this afternoon, so hopefully tomorrow will be better. I am really sorry though, Tsukki. I shouldn’t take it out on you. Being a mess right now because of captain duties and trying to get this team State Championship ready is _not_ an excuse for being an asshole. You _especially_ don’t deserve it.”

Kei swallows, moving out from under Tetsurou’s hand and looking away. For a moment there he thought Tetsurou was jealous, or protective or _something_. This makes sense though. Kei is more comfortable with Koushi than he is with anyone else, with their past intimacy and Tetsurou’s experience with his parents, it’s understandable that he made assumptions.

And of course Tetsurou’s stressed about the team. The former Nationals attending Nekodani basketball team is playing like they’re not even going to make it to the State Championship. It’s his job, his responsibility as captain, to make sure they play at their best. That’s a lot of weight on his shoulders and Tetsurou always makes himself bear it alone.

“Well, at least you admit it,” Kei says, his voice steady despite how sick he feels. “If I accept your apology can we go to sleep?”

A grin brightens Tetsurou’s handsome face and Kei’s heart stutters.

“ _Only_ if you accept my apology,” Tetsurou warns playfully.

“Then it’s accepted. Sleep time,” Kei huffs.

Kei curls up into a ball as tightly as he can when he finally slips into his sleeping bag and wilfully ignores the tightness in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When writing this chapter I was really conscious of how Tetsurou will be perceived and I just hope that you don't blame him too much. The things he's dealing with are difficult and I hope you guys can be understanding. I'm very protective of him :3


	13. Only Fools Rush In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky Chapter 13 where the “Underage” tag is finally used. **You have been warned.**

Koutarou stills, holding his breath and staring. Keiji stretches his arms slowly, elegantly, towards the ceiling. As his shoulders extend, reaching as high as possible, his black t-shirt lifts and reveals a delicious portion of tanned skin. His shorts are low on his hips, displaying two dimples low on his back and curving into the swell of his well-shaped ass, clearly outlined under the silky fabric. His fingers flex and his calf muscles tighten as he pushes up on his toes.

The ball slips through Koutarou’s fingers and falls to the floor, the thudding bounce in the empty gym loud and attention grabbing. Koutarou glances down at his treacherous hands in annoyance and back up to where Keiji turns to meet his gaze.

A knowing smile curls the corner of Keiji’s lips. “You dropped the ball.”

“I—Yep, I was just—Uh…”

He really has no excuse. Not that he particularly needs one, Keiji is his boyfriend, but he feels like he should be truthful and there are people still around. Not here in the gym, but they were only just dismissed for dinner. The likelihood that someone will come in while he’s in the middle of telling Keiji how much he wants to suck every inch of his skin and bite his ass, is high. Especially considering Koutarou’s general luck in timing.

“If you two keep eye-fucking each other you’ll miss out on dinner,” Akinori says, poking his head around the door frame before leaving again.

“Wha—I wasn’t—!”

“You were,” Keiji confirms, picking up the ball Koutarou had dropped and pressing it against his chest. “ _We_ were. But you were telling me something before you got distracted.”

“Right,” Koutarou says, taking the ball to the equipment storage room and gathering his thoughts away from ravaging his boyfriend. “Have you noticed anything weird about Tetsu?”

Keiji nods, a single movement. “He’s stressed about the team. But we’ve improved over the last two days, he seemed much more relaxed today.”

“No. I mean, yes. But I know about that, it’s more than that…” Koutarou trails off, frowning as he tries to arrange his thoughts coherently enough to explain himself. Keiji simply waits patiently. “With basketball Tetsu gets all intense, he withdraws into his own head until he finds a solution. Or, if it’s more complex he gets all serious for a few days, working through it systematically. But this—this is frustration. That’s not how he deals with basketball stuff.”

“Perhaps the stress of being captain makes his problem solving seem different.”

“Keij, I’m telling you it’s something else.”

“Okay. I believe you. But if not basketball, what? Tetsurou’s problems at school?”

Koutarou shakes his head, no, and bites his nail as he squints at the floor, deep in thought. “That’s also been bugging me. Tetsu doesn’t give a shit what those fuckers think. I _know_ he doesn’t. Something else is getting to him. He’s been so… Not himself.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“Yep, he says it’s just basketball. He’s lying to me Keiji! Me, his bestest bro of all time!”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Keiji deadpans. “Have you thought that perhaps Tetsurou is too fixated on basketball to realise that there even is anything wrong?”

Koutarou sticks out his bottom lip as his boyfriend’s scolding. “No…”

Taking a deep breath, Keiji steps forward and takes Koutarou’s hand between his. Despite the few inches of height he has on Keiji, Keiji’s hands are larger and easily encompass Koutarou’s. He loves Keiji’s hands, worn and calloused from too much practice, but strong and deft, able to tear apart the oppositions defence with a basketball in hand and sharp mind focussed. Able to turn Koutarou into a shuddering, groaning mess with even the simplest of touches.

“I know you’re worried about him Koutarou but Tetsurou will be okay. He has many people who care for him and we’re all here when he needs us. He knows that. When he works it out or when he needs someone to talk to, he’ll come to us, or Kenma, or Kei. Everything will be okay,” Keiji assures, sliding his fingers between Koutarou’s and squeezing his hand.

Feeling himself relax immediately, Koutarou exhales a deep breath and can’t stop a goofy grin from spreading across his face. “How do you _always_ know what to say?”

Instead of responding, Keiji leans in and presses a gentle kiss to Koutarou’s mouth. Considering the sweetness of the peck to his lips, it’s not supposed to be more than a comforting, affectionate kiss, but Koutarou catches Keiji’s face and deepens it. Tilting his head, Koutarou licks shamelessly at Keiji’s lips and gains access with ease as Keiji melts into the kiss.

At training camp they’ve been so focussed on basketball and have had no time to themselves. Yet Keiji won’t stop his seductive actions, half of which are likely unintentional, Koutarou finds almost everything he does captivating. To say Koutarou is desperate for some time with his ridiculously attractive boyfriend is the understatement of the century. _Seriously, why does he have to be so damn attractive?_

Someone clears their throat from behind Koutarou, it doesn’t stop him from sucking on Keiji’s tongue though.

“Tetsurou said he’ll eat all your meat if you don’t come to dinner right now,” Kei’s says.

Koutarou laughs against Keiji’s mouth and turns to see Kei standing at the gym’s entrance. “Ha, dirty! Didn’t know my bro was so gay for my…” his voice trails off as Kei’s words sink in. Beyond the hilarity of them. “ _What?_ That asshole! He will rule the day he was born!”

“Rue,” Kei corrects with a sigh as Koutarou sprints past. “ _Rue_ the day he was born.”

He barely hears it though, especially since he’s already halfway to the cafeteria. Koutarou is denied the opportunity of bursting through the doors all angry and cool, like a badass in an action movie, to defend his meat. His lacklustre entrance consists of sliding past the open door from running so fast, stumbling into the room and searching hopelessly for that head of black rooster hair in the bustling basketballer crowd.

It may take a while but he finally spots Tetsurou over the other side of the room and stalks over to him. Koutarou stops behind him and looms menacingly, his eyes narrowed on the back of a messy head of hair.

“What do you think you’re doing, bro…?”

Tetsurou turns and grins up at him. “Where have you been, dude? It’s roast night! I knew all the food would go quickly, so I loaded you a plate full so you could stuff yourself full o’ meat.”

Koushi laughs at the comment from across the table but Koutarou can only focus on Tetsurou. Sweet, innocent Tetsurou, who is truly the bestest bro ever. Koutarou’s eyes go wide and he leans forward to envelop, a rather surprised, Tetsurou in a hug.

“I should never have doubted you!” Koutarou declares, squeezing him tightly.

“I…What?” Tetsurou asks, patting his arm and working hard to keep his balance on his chair. “I love you too bro, but it’s meat eatin’ time.”

Koushi’s laughter is joined by a familiar snicker and Koutarou’s eyes open wide. He straightens and points an accusing finger at Kei who is now sitting across from Tetsurou, between Keiji and Koushi.

“I sense a sinister force at work!”

Kei rolls his eyes and Tetsurou asks, “What did Tsukki do?”

“He told Koutarou that you were eating his meat,” Keiji explains, digging into his own food.

Tetsurou gasps dramatically. “I would _never_ eat my bros meat!”

“I seriously can’t tell if you guys are doing this on purpose or not anymore…” Koushi murmurs, his chin resting in his hand as he watches on with rapt fascination.

“Never mess with a dude and his meat, Tsukki!” Koutarou scolds.

“Oh, but apparently he’s _very_ good at it,” Tetsurou says, his smirk wide as he winks at Kei, who is actually blushing. Koutarou’s fairly certain that’s the first time he’s seen Kei blush. “Wouldn’t want to deny anyone _that_ satisfaction.”

“This is your fault,” Kei mutters to Koushi.

“The world deserves to know, Kei,” he responds, playfully stern. “Honestly you should put that skill on your resume.”

Koutarou’s about to scarf down his food when he notices Tetsurou’s hand clench into a fist under the table. Frowning, Koutarou focusses his attention on the conversation but doesn’t understand what they’re talking about.

“Aren’t dudes generally better at it?” Tetsurou asks, his eyes downcast and focussed on his plate.

A smirk tugs at Koushi’s lips as he shares a glance with Kei before responding. “Can’t say, I’ve never liked girls.”

“We’re talking about blowjobs right?” Koutarou questions, his brow furrowed deeply.

“Yes and I don’t think you clarified that loudly enough,” Kei says.

“Well, geez, stop talking in code. Also that thing about dudes being better at BJs isn’t legit. Keiji sucks at it… Wait, terrible word choice. Keiji is _bad_ at giving blowjobs,” he clarifies, squinting at the ceiling and dropping his gaze when someone kicks him under the table. One would think it’d be Keiji defending himself but it’s Tetsurou defending Keiji, which is common. “Oh, uh, but he’s fucking incredible with his hands, so I don’t mind.”

Tetsurou drops his head in both his hands and groans.

“Koutarou, eat your dinner,” Keiji says simply between mouthfuls, completely unaffected.

In a need to change the subject Kei starts discussing some of todays practice games and training. Too busy stuffing his face full of delicious roast meat, Koutarou only half listens.

Training camp has been awesome. There is nothing better than spending a whole week away with friends, playing basketball. It’s been hard work, getting the team up to scratch by doing extra training hours every afternoon. But for basketball Koutarou is always willing and able to go that extra mile. They still have far to go until they’re up to State Championship standard, but every member of the team is working hard to reach that goal.

As Koutarou’s finishing his dinner, a short, orange ball of energy bounces over to their table.

“Extra training! We’re going to do more training, right? Right?” Shouyou asks, his eyes almost popping out of his head with excitement.

“Of course we’re doing extra training!” Koutarou nods sagely.

“Okay, but, we’re going to take it easy. You don’t want to make yourself sick after dinner like Kou did his first year here,” Tetsurou says, a sly smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

Shouyou’s face scrunches up in confused wonder. “You were sick?”

“Bro!” Koutarou groans. “You promised never to talk about it again!”

“One fateful night young Koutarou, being his over eager self, pushed himself beyond his limit—”

Koutarou jumps on a struggling Tetsurou, shoving a hand against his mouth. “And I played awesome! End of story!”

“He vomited all over the equipment storage room in the second gym,” Keiji finishes.

Koushi snickers against his hand, Kei grimaces and Shouyou lets out a long “ewwwww.”

“ _Keiji!_ ” Koutarou whines at his betrayer of boyfriend, who merely shrugs his shoulders.

“You might want to stop smothering Tetsu, he’s turning blue,” Kei drawls lazily as he stands from his chair, his plate empty for a change. But then Tetsurou might have eaten his leftovers when Koutarou wasn’t paying attention, it’s happened the last few nights.

Koutarou’s eyes widen as he turns to Tetsurou to see him struggling to breathe and he quickly removes his hand from his mouth. “Sorry!”

Tetsurou lets out a gasping breath and says sarcastically, “Thanks for your desperate concern, Tsukki.”

A small smile pulls the corners of Kei’s mouth. “Your health is always my main concern, captain.”

From his position half sitting in Tetsurou’s lap, Koutarou can feel his muscles go rigid as he quietly stares after Kei’s retreating form.

“Bro?”

“Uh… let’s get going to third gym, shall we Shrimpy?” Tetsurou says, shaking himself free of his strange daze.

“Training!”

 

* * *

 

Koutarou’s first year in his middle school basketball club had been the most unnerving. It had been the year he was most aware of his homosexuality. He never kept it a secret or hid it, but he also didn’t want to make his teammates uncomfortable in the locker room or showers.

“Dude, don’t worry about it. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re attracted to any of them and if that’s what they think then they’re ignorant, arrogant pricks who don’t deserve your time. Just be yourself, you deserve to be comfortable in here too.”

Even at thirteen Tetsurou somehow managed to be an overly logical, middle-aged man. It helped though, Koutarou has been comfortable around his teammates in the locker room ever since. Possibly even a little _too_ comfortable.

“Dude, I am _not_ having this conversation with you until you put on some underwear,” Tetsurou grumbles, staring down at his bag while Koutarou stands before him stark naked.

“What? But you told me I deserve to be comfortable in here too.”

“Yeah, well, you could afford to throw in a little respect for the people around you because you’ve been naked for a good half-hour and this is the first I’ve even mentioned it.”

Koutarou huffs. “Fine… Bro, are you okay? You’ve been really grumpy.”

“Do you have pants on…?”

“Yeah.”

Tetsurou glances up at him, smiling tightly. “I’m fine, Kou.”

“Is it Koushi? You seemed uncomfortable with him at dinner,” he muses and feels like he’s on the right track when Tetsurou’s tentative smile drops. “Did he say something? Did he do something? Because if he did I’ll… get Keiji to give him a stern talking to.”

Chuckling, Tetsurou stands and pats him on the shoulder as he passes. “Nah bro, Koushi didn’t do or say anything. Now get dressed, we need to get some sleep for more training tomorrow,” Tetsurou says in his dad tone. He stops at the door and looks back at Koutarou. “It’s just basketball stress. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

Koutarou stares at the empty doorway when he’s gone. _You say that, but you look more unhappy than I’ve ever seen you, bro,_ he thinks. Tetsurou isn’t a liar, but Koutarou can’t bring himself to believe a single word he spoke, his dark eyes were far too sad and he doubts Tetsurou even believed them himself.

Sitting down on the bench, Koutarou folds an arm over his chest and rests his chin on his hand. Perhaps it’s Kei. Perhaps they’re arguing. But they seem to be friendly, bickering and bantering as usual. So why does Tetsurou seem uncomfortable with him sometimes? Why is there tension between them?

“Koutarou,” Keiji’s voice draws him from his contemplation and Koutarou glances up to watch Keiji’s graceful movements as he approaches. “You’re still naked,” he points out.

He merely hums a response and reaches out to pull Keiji to him, burying his face against his stomach and wrapping his arms tightly around his thighs. Keiji’s in his pyjamas, and as much as Koutarou loves seeing him naked, he’s damn adorable in his Ravenclaw pyjamas, they’re soft and warm and smell amazing.

“What’s wrong?” Keiji asks quietly, carding his fingers through Koutarou’s damp hair, the scrape of nails over his scalp sending shivers down his spine.

“I just want him to be happy,” he mumbles against Keiji’s stomach. “Like I am.”

After a moment of silence, Keiji says, “Tetsurou will be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I do know that. Because he has incredible friends like you who will always be there for him. Because he’s lucky enough to have someone as amazing as you, Koutarou, to care about him.”

Koutarou’s fingers clutch into the material of Keiji’s pants as he slowly looks up into the loving gaze of his boyfriend’s dark green eyes.

The day he met Keiji everything changed; Koutarou’s life was forever altered. It was instant, the whole world slowing around them and the pleasant racing heartbeat in his chest. In that moment, without a doubt, Koutarou believed in love at first sight. He may have been dramatic – as Tetsurou noted, continuously – but not a minute passed that he didn’t think about Keiji Akaashi. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to.

“I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than I love basketball,” Koutarou declares, wondering how horrible his life would be if that amazing day he met Keiji had never happened. “I love you more than anything. I couldn’t love you more even if I tried. You’re my family Keiji, I don’t know what I’d do without—”

The rest of his words are lost against Keiji’s lips, but he was never very good with words and doesn’t need them anymore anyway. The urgency of the kiss breathes life to a fire inside of him and it gives Koutarou an idea of an even better way to express exactly how much he adores Keiji. He stands quickly, fervently matching the passion of Keiji’s kiss and backing him against the lockers.

It’s been a whole week since they’ve even made-out like this and it was only a matter of time before one, or both, of them cracked. They’ve been very physical from the start, from their first date when Koutarou said, “Keiji, I really, really, really like you. A lot. Can’t stop thinking about you really. It’s kinda crazy how much I think about you. N-Not crazy, crazy, just, it happens a lot and—” to be cut off in much the same manner, with Keiji’s lips. They took it slow early but they’ve never been able to keep their hands off each other for long.

With an arm on either side of Keiji’s head, Koutarou presses their bodies close and somehow manages to tilt his head to get a more open angle, even through the pleasure haze of Keiji biting at his lip. Keiji’s hands roam the broad expanse of Koutarou’s back, warming his cold skin, fingertips digging into muscle as Koutarou licks into his mouth.

Koutarou quickly craves to touch, his hands sliding down Keiji’s lean sides, making him tremble as he touches sensitive ribs. At the hem of Keiji’s shirt, his fingers find warm skin, but it isn’t the touch he seeks, so he only lingers there a moment.

Koutarou loves every part of Keiji, but if he _had_ to choose, he’d say his gorgeous face, followed shortly but that glorious ass. His fingers spread over Keiji’s ass – a cheek in each hand – and squeeze the amazing firmness of it, the muscles tightening under his hands in response. Keiji’s fit, he’s incredibly well proportioned, so it’s difficult to tell at times, but he trains as hard as anyone. He’s strong and muscled and his body is amaz—

_Goddamn it, why isn’t he naked?_

“Mm, Koutarou,” Keiji says, pulling away from his mouth; he has to turn his head to do it as Koutarou has him pushed hard up against the lockers. “No penetration.”

It’s not exactly an easy task to make Koutarou blush but Keiji manages to do it with his bluntness more than anyone. He likes it, the fact that Keiji can make butterflies flap nervously in his stomach.

“I-I know,” he mumbles and distracts himself by kissing Keiji’s exposed neck, nipping at his skin and making him moan.

Keiji’s hand slides down Koutarou’s stomach slowly, indulgently, and his fingers push under the waistband of his boxer-briefs. Koutarou feels himself harden completely as Keiji’s fingers wrap around him. Instinctively, Koutarou thrusts into it, groaning against Keiji’s neck. He wasn’t lying when he bragged about how good Keiji is with his hands, the control, the slow, smooth stroke, the unexpected changes, never following the same pattern… It’s fucking perfect.

“ _Ah_ , no, Keiji,” Koutarou moans, hating himself a little bit for removing a hand from Keiji’s ass to grab his wrist and stop him. There is a question in Keiji’s eyes when their gazes meet. “You’ve been too good to me lately. It’s my turn.”

There’s a semi-annoyed, don’t-be-ridiculous-we’re-not-counting-orgasms expression on Keiji’s face but Koutarou merely smiles and kisses him. Keiji knows he loves doing it, so he doesn’t say anything as Koutarou kneels down in front of him.

Koutarou pulls Keiji’s blue pyjama pants and underwear down over his hips, his fingers trailing his thighs, and they fall down around his ankles. Kissing and sucking his way down Keiji’s hipbone, he runs his thumb slowly up the underside of his cock before stretching his lips around the tip. Koutarou pauses there, watching Keiji’s jaw fall open and feeling his hips tilt forward, pushing himself into Koutarou’s mouth. Koutarou lets him push in deep, focussing his efforts on relaxing his throat and letting his mouth open as wide as it can. He can’t take it all yet, but he’s well on his way to deep throating. Practice makes perfect.

When he feels the muscles in his throat start to get uncomfortable, Koutarou’s fingers find Keiji’s bare hips and he sucks as he pulls his head back. Moaning, his head falling back against the metal lockers, Keiji laces his fingers through Koutarou’s hair, pulling hard and urging him on. Koutarou obliges, bobbing his head rhythmically, massaging his length with his tongue and sucking firmly.

Koutarou could come simply from the carefully quietened sounds of Keiji moaning his name and the blissful taste of his warm, hard cock in his mouth, but as he starts thrusting against nothing he knows he needs pressure. He reaches into his underwear and groans around Keiji’s cock in relief, causing Keiji to moan loudly.

The desperation in Keiji’s voice, the pure need, the need for Koutarou. Begging and pleading. His voice amorous and rich and warm.

Every part of Keiji is warm, despite what the assholes back at school think, dubbing him ‘Ice Queen Keiji’. They’ll never know how his beautiful, golden skin radiates warmth or how the heat of his mouth and intensity of his kiss can melt you or how those lazily lidded green eyes can be so warm and loving and a single glance can make you feel like the most important person in the universe. They’ll never hear the soft noises Keiji makes when he feels good or witness the beautiful expressions he makes when he’s coming. They’ll never experience Keiji’s vulnerability or touch or affection. Because these parts of Keiji are for Koutarou alone. And he’s never letting go.

“Kou- _Koutarou_.”

Keiji’s fingers grip tightly at his hair and Koutarou feels his muscles tense as he swipes his tongue over the tip. Knowing, all too well, that Keiji’s about to come, Koutarou takes him down his throat once more. Legs trembling and unable to hold himself up, Keiji slowly slides down the lockers as his orgasm overwhelms him. Koutarou falls with him and swallows everything, even through the mind-numbing pleasure of his own orgasm.

Feeling Keiji’s body relax, Koutarou sits back in his position, kneeling between Keiji’s legs. Keiji looks beautifully exhausted, his dark hair messier than usual and his green eyes heavy lidded. A blissful smile pulls at Keiji’s lips as they gaze at each other and Koutarou’s heart flutters like in all the cheesy romance movies he loves to watch.

Koutarou leans forward without hesitation and kisses him, slow and lethargic, lacking all their previous heat, but warmer and full of affection.

“I love you, Koutarou,” Keiji says as he pulls back, still smiling. Still and forever ridiculously beautiful. “Even though you taste like semen.”

His eyes widen. “Oh, sorry!”

Keiji pulls him forward to kiss him again anyway.

“Hey guys— _Ohgodammit!_ ” Tetsurou groans, his yelp thankfully muffled by his hand. Koutarou looks up to see him standing in the doorway, a hand plastered over his eyes. “Seriously? I was gone for less than fifteen minutes!”

Koutarou laughs. “That’s all I need bro!”

“That is nothing to brag about,” he responds, pointing a judgmental finger at what he probably thinks is where they are. “You’re lucky I volunteered to come check on you instead of Keish. Though… part of the reason I volunteered was because I knew this would happen. Now get dressed, you really need to sleep.”

“Koutarou will need a shower, he’s covered in his own—”

“ _Yeah!_ Yeah, got it,” Tetsurou quickly interrupts Keiji. “Just hurry, I’m sending Keish to come get you if you’re not back in ten minutes.”

When Tetsurou leaves, Koutarou turns to his boyfriend, wiggling his eyebrows. “Plenty of time.”

“Shower, now,” Keiji says, using his unquestionable tone.

“Can you help me?”

“No. We need to sleep. Do you want to be too tired to practice tomorrow?”

“No!”

“Exactly.”

 

* * *

 

Kei stares up at the sun, its light not touching his pale skin from under the overhanging roof of the first gym, but that doesn’t stop the sweltering heat from rolling a bead of sweat down his back. It’s a hot day, the hottest they’ve had. Kei doesn’t like the heat, it makes him uncomfortable, sweaty and exhausted. Although, to be fair, he’s been sweaty and exhausted all week, no matter the heat.

There are only a couple of days left of training camp and Kei has survived all the extra time with Tetsurou without doing anything stupid. Even resisting Koushi’s efforts to interfere.

He finds that focussing on basketball takes his mind off Tetsurou. Going so far as extra practices in third gym with the others, shooting practice by himself in the mornings and even regular conversations with Keishin about things he can do to improve. It’s more than a distraction, Kei wants to get the team to Nationals, he wants Tetsurou and Koutarou to have the best year they can, to have the best chance for becoming professional basketballers.

To put all this, possibly futile, effort into something for other people, for his team, is something he never imagined himself doing. Kei doesn’t know how to feel about it, all he knows is he can’t stop wanting this for them.

“Hey,” a low, dour voice greets him.

Kei knows that voice, has known it since middle school, snapping and grumbling at him, mumbling dumb, competitive retorts. He drops his gaze from the sun but doesn’t turn to look at the dark head of hair approaching.

“What are you doing out here?” Kei questions. “Aren’t you supposed to be playing?”

“Koushi’s playing the second half,” Tobio responds. At this Kei does look up at those steely blue eyes, wanting to discern if Tobio truly likes Koushi. “He’s a real leader on the court, makes such intelligent plays and uses our teammates in ways I wouldn’t have even considered. I have a lot to learn from him.”

The small, albeit creepy, smile on Tobio’s face is confirmation of his affection and Kei doesn’t know whether to be happy or uncomfortable. Happy for Koushi, certainly.

“So you don’t regret the move then? Karasuno hasn’t been to Nationals in years.” Kei comments. Tobio may have had recruiters watching him since he was thirteen but they could lose interest if he doesn’t make it to the big games to play against the best players. Karasuno could be damaging to the possibility of playing as a professional.

“I didn’t have a choice,” Tobio answers, his gaze dropping to his hands. His emotions are always easy for Kei to read, it’s why he’s always been so good at antagonising him, but this hurt is deep, the kind that comes from those who are supposed to love you. A hurt Kei understands all too well. His parents. “But even if I did, I wouldn’t regret it. Karasuno is a good team and I’ll take them to Nationals.”

 _Cocky bastard_ , Kei thinks. He can’t really argue though. Karasuno _is_ a good team, and with the added specialness of Tobio’s elite skills, they’re going to be the dark horse of the State Championship. Knowing their ability better than anyone, Kei knows they’ll make it to Nationals.

“Nationals would’ve been a guarantee at Seijou.”

Tobio nods, his eyes meeting Kei’s for a moment before staring into the distance. “I know, I miss…” he trails off, frowning as if surprised about the words he was about to speak. He swallows. “I miss the team. But I’m happy here.”

Kei narrows his eyes. _Who does he miss?_

“Because of Koushi. It’s strange. Never thought you’d be able to take your one-track-mind off basketball long enough to notice the people around you, let alone be in a relationship with someone.”

Tobio clears his throat awkwardly, pink rising to his cheeks. “It’s difficult not to notice Koushi. And don’t worry, Daichi already gave me the embarrassing ‘don’t hurt him or else’ speech.”

A smirk curls at the corner of Kei’s mouth. “Oh I’m not worried, and Daichi is the least of your concerns if you hurt Koushi.”

“I’m not going to hurt him.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Fine,” Tobio says, grinding his teeth. “I won’t intentionally hurt him.”

“That’s a big word for you, you must really mean it to have gone out of your way to Thesaurus and Dictionary that one.”

“I _do_ mean it.”

“Good.”

Tobio may be a dumbass, but he’s not mean or hurtful. He may not be Kei’s favourite person, but even he can admit that Koushi and Tobio are good together and good for each other. They’ll look after each other. Tobio bluntly pointing out things that Koushi wouldn’t ever say out loud and Koushi comforting Tobio when he gets lost in his own head, when he gets all broody.

“And what about you? You seem… distracted. And your shooting isn’t anywhere near as good as it used to be,” Tobio says, his expression innocently curious when Kei’s head spins to frown at him.

Kei was working hard to make sure no one would notice, and thus far no one has. Or, no one has mentioned anything. Which, members of his team certainly would, since they’re endeavouring to improve. How could Tobio, of all people, notice?

“What are you talking about?” he asks through his teeth, venom lacing his words.

“Your form is messier, more forced,” Tobio says, crouching into shooting position, imitating Kei’s movements perfectly. “And you don’t seem to be thinking as much when you play; you were always so careful and calculating. It’s like you’re not concentrating completely on the game, like your mind is on other things.”

Kei clicks his tongue, going for nonchalance. “Trust you to be that invested in basketball that you’re trying to help your opponent.”

“I don’t want to play you at State Championship unless you’re playing at your best,” Tobio says, scarily sincere, his blue eyes intense.

“Just focus on your own team, oh great genius,” Kei responds mockingly and with a sneer, he goes to walk away, but Tobio catches his wrist.

“Ignoring it won’t help. Whoever he is, just tell him.”

Kei’s eyes widen, his hands clenching into fists. “Koushi told you?”

“Koushi knows?” Tobio asks, his head tilting like a bird.

“Just—let go.”

Kei jerks back like he’s been burnt, annoyed and embarrassed. But he pulls back too forcefully and stumbles backwards. He feels his heel get caught and then feels himself falling backwards. He doesn’t fall far though, he hits something solid. Or, rather, something solid stops him. A hand on his lower back to stop him falling and a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“Woah, Tsukki, since when are you this uncoordinated?”

Kei quickly straightens and moves away, turning to face Tetsurou with surprise wide eyes and heat in his cheeks. Tetsurou’s playful smile falls into a frown and he glances back at Tobio, squinting suspiciously.

“Are you okay?” Tetsurou asks, genuinely concerned.

Kei rolls his eyes. “I’m fine. Is the game over?”

Believing Kei’s words, Tetsurou drops it and nods. “Yeah, Karasuno won. Better be careful Tobes, Koushi’s playing pretty well with that team and he might steal your spot.”

It’s not true, Kei can tell Tetsurou is doing that jokingly-kind thing he does, but Tobio’s eyes go wide.

“Then I’ll have to train harder, excuse me.”

Kei sighs, watching after Tobio and shaking his head. “Idiot.”

“Ha, yeah, I wasn’t even being serious,” Tetsurou comments, grinning broadly.

“No, I was calling you an idiot. Why would you give him more motivation like that?” Kei questions accusingly.

“Wha—Tsukki! I was joking! How was I supposed to know he’s so literal?”

Kei frowns at him. “Have you not met him?”

Tetsurou stares at him for a long moment, silently. His tan skin gleams with sweat and his dark hair is messier where he’s raked his fingers through it in frustration or to get it out of his eyes. The breath-taking vision of him is complete as a smirk spread across his mouth and growing into full, mischievous grin. Tetsurou bursts into laughter, doubling over in a fit, and Kei swears he’s never seen him laugh so hard.

Kei huffs and just stands there, waiting, pretending it isn’t the most adorable and charming thing he’s ever seen. When Tetsurou’s laughter slows, Kei asks, “Are you done? Did you hit your head when Daichi accidentally knocked you over in that last game?”

“No, no,” Tetsurou says, slowly catching his breath. He straightens and slings an arm across Kei’s shoulders. “You’re just fucking hilarious Tsukki.”

Kei raises an eyebrow at him, Tetsurou simply smiling. _Close, so damn close_. Before he has a chance to do something stupid – because he really could just lean in and kiss Tetsurou right now, _God_ does he want to–

Koutarou comes charging out of the first gym. “Third gym, third gym!”

“Dude, slow down, you’re going to—” Tetsurou shouts out, wincing as Koutarou trips and falls over. “Good thing he plays in knee pads.”

“For a few reasons,” Keiji mumbles slyly as he walks past.

Tetsurou grimaces and Kei snickers at him, hiding his laughter behind his hand. Tetsurou, of course, shared the story of how he’d walked in on them post-blowjob straight after it happened. While it’s not something Kei enjoyed listening to, the mortified effect it had on Tetsurou was rather amusing.

“Imagine walking in on your brother in that situation,” Tetsurou had argued when Kei laughed at him.

Kei had grimaced, but pointed out, “Kou’s not your brother.”

Which had caused much drama, dramatic gasping and a “How dare you!”

“We better get going or Kou will get all pouty,” Tetsurou says, disentangling himself from Kei and following after his friends.

Kei watches after him. _And what about you. You seem… distracted_. It’s difficult not to be distracted by Tetsurou. He shines so brightly that Kei can barely see much else. But he’ll have to work through it, train harder to get himself back to his best shooting.

_I’m not going to hurt him. I’m not going to lose him._

 

* * *

 

“Do you think if I asked Keiji to marry me, he’d say yes?”

“No.”

Koutarou gasps and Tetsurou smiles as he can imagine the exact horrified expression he’s making, even though he’s not looking at him. They’re in the equipment storage room of the third gym and Tetsurou is digging through a box of whistles but they all look old and gross. With an annoyed sigh he straightens and dusts off his hands.

“Wh-Why? Do you think he doesn’t love me enough?”

Tetsurou scoffs. “No—Wait, yes! I mean, no, that’s not what I—”

Getting all flustered because his friend looks like he’s about to burst into tears, Tetsurou takes a deep breath, wondering how they went from zero to almost sobbing.

“Can you just chill until I finish what I’m saying?” Tetsurou demands. Koutarou nods but his bottom lip is sticking out as he tries to stop himself crying. “Keiji certainly loves you enough to marry you, as far as I can tell. _But_ , he’s a pragmatic person. You’ve only been together four months, you’re both in high school, which, you’ll be leaving soon.”

Koutarou sighs heavily. “You’re right…But I wanna marry him.”

“And you will. I know you’re all old school and traditional with your big, happy family, and it’s important to find ‘the one’ to settle down and marry. But it won’t change anything, you’ll be as happy with him as you are now. So why worry about it? Plus, basketball.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Koutarou says, his voice casual once more. “Basketball is your love, your passion, your everything. Ima laugh so hard the day you find someone to love. You’ll have no idea what to do about it, probably won’t even realise. And then, something will happen, and it’ll hit you, like a truck. You’ll realise you love them… and it will be _beautiful_.”

Tetsurou snorts a laugh. “ _If_ I find someone. And that’s probably years away you big romantic goof. C’mon,” he gestures, moving towards the door. “Couldn’t find a decent one to put my mouth on.”

“ _I_ did,” Koutarou says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rolling out the basketball rack, Tetsurou grins and high-fives his bro. “Yeah you did.”

They stop near the basketball hoop and Koutarou takes a ball to spin on his finger while Tetsurou checks that the basketballs are all pumped up properly and ready to use. At the other end of the basketball court Keiji and Kei are talking. Koutarou stops spinning the ball and focuses his attention on them, his yellow eyes narrowed suspiciously on them.

“They spend a lot of time together,” Koutarou comments.

Tetsurou hums in agreement. “They have some of the same classes at school, they need to work together on the basketball court and they’re very similar. Of course they’re going to spend time with each other. Are you jealous? Your boyfriend is allowed to have friends you know.”

“Not _really_ pretty ones… I bet Tsukki is pragmatic enough.”

“Chill bro, they’re just strategizing for basketball,” he reassures, finished checking all the basketballs and following Koutarou’s gaze across the court.

“How do you know?”

“Well, when Tsukki talks about basketball he gets this intensity in his eyes, like he’s seeing the entire thing play out in his head, and his lips pucker slightly in concentration. And see how his head is slightly tilted, he does that when he’s shooting.”

Koutarou is quiet and when Tetsurou turns back, he’s frowning at him. “That’s oddly specific… What does Keiji do?”

Tetsurou blinks. “Ah, I don’t know.”

A grey, winged eyebrow is raised at him. “You pay that much attention to what Tsukki does?”

“I guess,” Tetsurou answers, for a lack of anything better to say.

He feels uncomfortable under the scrutiny of Koutarou’s gaze. Tetsurou’s aware of how concerned his best friend is for him, but this certainly has nothing to do with it. Kei has nothing to do with his moods. If anything, Kei helps with it. Whenever he’s with Kei he feels better, more relaxed, Kei makes him laugh and smile.

To avoid Koutarou’s gaze, Tetsurou turns back to see Keiji and Kei investigating the basketball hoop. During the day visitors use the third gym for other sports, so often when they come in here of an evening, the hoops – built with movable frames up on the wall – are pushed back. But the string seems to be broken and tied high up on the wall. Kei and Keiji glance at each other before Kei squats and Keiji climbs onto his shoulders with ease.

“Huh, good thing Keiji’s light,” Tetsurou comments, watching Kei stand.

“He’s not light. I mean, he looks lean, but he’s pretty solid. I didn’t know Kei was that—”

Wondering why Koutarou stopped mid-sentence, Tetsurou turns his head to see already wide yellow eyes widening and an excited smile spreading across his face.

“Oh my God, bro! I have the best idea!”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“I haven’t even explained yet!”

“Don’t need to. What’s the idea?” Tetsurou asks anyway, always willing to go along with Koutarou’s crazy plans.

“Squat down,” Koutarou instructs.

“No, dude, I will not blow you.”

“Bro, c’mon, I have the most romantic idea ever!”

Tetsurou sighs, smiling at his dork of a best friend. “Fine, fine.”

With that, Koutarou beams and shoves Tetsurou down roughly by his shoulder. Once squatting, Koutarou climbs onto his shoulders and, unlike for Keiji and Kei, there is nothing graceful or easy about it. Koutarou is heavy, the heaviest on the team, the dude is solid muscle. While not impossible for Tetsurou to carry him on his shoulders, it’s certainly difficult and requires all of Tetsurou’s strength and balance. Especially when Koutarou decides to wiggle with excitement.

“This is going to be awesome!”

“It’s going to be painful if you don’t stop moving,” Tetsurou says, getting a better grip of Koutarou’s calf, where his kneepads finish.

As Keiji finishes pulling the hoop around to get it in place, Tetsurou and Koutarou approach them. Looking up at the hoop, Kei doesn’t seem to notice until Koutarou reaches out for Keiji and pulls him close, in turn pulling Kei close.

Tetsurou really didn’t think this through, because before he knows it Kei’s wide eyes are right in front of him, so close that he can count each gold fleck in his pale brown eyes. He can feel Kei’s sharp hipbone against his stomach and he can see the light dusting of freckles across Kei’s nose and he notices for the first time that Kei’s eyelashes are the same colour blond as his hair. Something tightens in Tetsurou’s stomach as their noses touch and Kei quickly turns his head.

“Um… Kou?”

 

* * *

 

“Koutarou, this really isn’t safe,” Keiji says sternly but any further protest is muted by Koutarou’s mouth.

 _Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh God, this is not happening_ , Kei thinks, panic swirling is his stomach and making his heart thunder in his chest. Tetsurou’s so close he can probably feel it. _I’m going to kill Kou._

Tetsurou huffs a laugh, awkwardly amused, and Kei can feel the warmth of his breath across his cheek. He can feel every point of contact, thighs, stomachs, chests, and Tetsurou’s skin is so warm under his clothes. Why are they the same damn height? If they weren’t, he wouldn’t have the opportunity to fuck everything up every time they looked at each other. If they weren’t this would only be very awkward, instead of epically fucking awkward.

“I really didn’t think this through,” Tetsurou mumbles to himself and then attempts to get Koutarou’s attention, failing as he’s far too busy sucking Keiji’s face off. Or, it sounds like it. At least in Kei’s exaggerating, panicking mind.

Kei tries to ignore it, to focus on breathing like a normal person and get his heart under control. He tries to ignore Tetsurou’s warmth and the rumbling sound of his voice in his chest and the tickling sensation of thick, black hair against his cheek. He _refuses_ to have a panic attack because of _a boy_.

“Tsukki, are you okay?” He hears Tetsurou’s voice distantly, he sounds worried. “Shit, Kou!”

In an attempt to free them, Tetsurou pulls back, but because of Koutarou’s hold on Keiji, springs back quickly. In the movement, Tetsurou stumbles right up against Kei, their bodies pressed together. Friction. Pressure. Familiar, pleasant heat burns low in Kei’s abdomen.

_No, no, no, no, no._

“Kou!” Tetsurou growls, actually sounding angry.

Walled in by thighs and Tetsurou’s gorgeous fucking face, Kei has no options and in his panic he does the first thing he thinks of. He opens his mouth and bites into Koutarou’s thigh; his thigh-high kneepad tastes horrible, like sweat, but it’s better than getting hard against Tetsurou.

Koutarou screeches, the sound initially muffled by Keiji’s mouth, but gets louder. Especially as he rocks back, the jerky movement unbalancing Tetsurou. Keiji and Kei probably would have been fine if Koutarou wasn’t holding onto Keiji for dear life, pulling them with him.

“ _Ohfuck_ —”

It happens quickly, a flailing of limbs and panicked gasps and cusses. Somehow Koutarou pulls Keiji clear of Kei’s head in the fall, at least Kei thinks that’s what happened because Keiji doesn’t land on him. Kei lands solidly, somehow less painfully that he thought. He hit his head on something solid on the way down, but apart from that he feels fine.

Until he feels arms around him and realises how he landed. Or, rather, who he landed on. Kei’s been here before, head resting on a solid chest and legs tangled.

Eyes shooting wide with panic, Kei uprights himself hurriedly and hopes Tetsurou doesn’t notice. Which, of course he’ll notice; kind of difficult not to notice a six foot tall guy landing on you. Tetsurou’s looking up at him as he tries to get up and Kei freezes.

“Are you okay, Tsukki?” Tetsurou asks, his dark eyes concerned as he sits up on his elbows, his lip swollen and bleeding. “Your head…”

Kei blinks and opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out.

Tetsurou’s eyes wander slowly down Kei’s body and Kei watches his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. Kei follows his gaze and realises that he’s straddling him, hands resting on his stomach for balance. For a stupid second Kei doesn’t want to stand up, to get off him, he wants to lean down and kiss Tetsurou. He could. Tetsurou isn’t saying anything, simply watching him, but Kei can see hints of discomfort in the tightening of his jaw and the way his dark eyes dart away.

_I’m not going to hurt him. I’m not going to lose him._

Panicking has only done more harm than good. So, slowly, Kei stands and walks away. He can feel Tetsurou’s eyes on him as he leaves.

“Huh, where’s Tsukki going? What happened?” Koutarou asks.

“ _You_ happened,” Keiji replies.

“What? What did _I_ do?”

 


	14. Walk Through Fire

The floor, no longer covered with camping mattresses and sleeping bags, is hard and uncomfortable, but Kenma sits and waits patiently. He refuses to leave until it’s found, not that anyone knows that nor is he actively doing anything to remedy the situation, but he has faith in Shouyou.

The first time Shouyou came over to his house it had been awkward, Kenma had been awkward. However, that’s beside the point. Shouyou had been excited as ever, sunset-orange eyes wide and bright and smile never leaving his face. Kenma was terrified, what does one do with their boyfriend visiting their house? Sure, Kenma had kissed him but feared that was the extent of his bravery.

Asking Tetsurou was out of the question, Kenma refused to put himself through more teasing and fussing than is necessary. He feared Keiji’s response would only be embarrassingly blunt information about physicality and Morisuke would have given him a lecture on safe sex. It was too late when he realised he should have asked Kei; Kei wouldn’t have embarrassed or lectured him, perhaps make a face at Kenma’s taste in boys, but he would have given real, usable advice.

As usual Kenma had been worrying about nothing though. It had been a little awkward at first, probably more so in his head than in reality, but Shouyou was energetic and asked questions and looked through Kenma’s games and seemed happy enough to simply talk and play video games.

It was nice having Shouyou there. He even found a game crammed behind Kenma’s dresser that he’d thought to never see again. Shouyou had a knack for finding things. As if Kenma needed more reason to feel affection for him.

“Kenma!” Tetsurou calls, relaxing marginally when he spots his best friend. For the last week Tetsurou has been on edge; Kenma hadn’t expected the captaincy to affect him so much. “There you are. Why the hell aren’t you outside ready to leave?”

“Lost my game.”

Tetsurou sighs. “I’ll buy you a new one, let’s go. Have you seen Shouyou? I figured you’d be hiding somewhere making out.”

Kenma feels himself colour, heat rising to his cheeks. Ignoring it, he frowns, watching Tetsurou distractedly glance around the room as if not realising what he’s said. Tetsurou can be pushy and teasing but he’s never outright rude; he wouldn’t usually say something so carelessly, knowing exactly how it would affect Kenma. When his dark eyes meet Kenma’s face his expression falls, lips tightening into a hard line.

“Sorry Ken, I didn’t—”

“I found it!” Shouyou’s voice calls, his running audible and he barrels into the room, holding the small piece of plastic up triumphantly as he approaches. “Kenma, I found it! For some reason it was in the magazine rack in the recreation room.” Shouyou’s face is twisted in confusion as he stares at the PSP game and then breaks into a brilliant smile as he looks up at Kenma.

“Th-Thank you, Shouyou,” he says quietly, his chest tightening as he takes the game and their fingers brush lightly.

“I hope you didn’t make a mess in there looking for the game, Shrimpy,” Tetsurou says, seeming reluctant to interrupt their moment but also duty bound to ask.

Shouyou’s eyes go wide and he smiles awkwardly as he turns towards Tetsurou, scratching the back of his head guiltily. “Ah, n-no sir, I wouldn’t say ‘mess’ exactly—hey, what happened to your lip?”

Moving his gaze beyond Shouyou’s head of messy orange hair, Kenma eyes the cut on Tetsurou’s lower lip, a thin line of dark red where the lip has split. It happened two days ago, but Shouyou has never been one to pay much attention to details. Especially not at camp where basketball is all around.

“Oh, um,” Tetsurou mutters, lifting his hand to touch the wound. He looks uncharacteristically uncomfortable, eyes on the floor as if refusing to meet their gazes. “Just Kou and his antics, you know.”

Shouyou nods knowingly. “What did he do?”

“He, uh… The rope to pull the hoop out as broken so I gave him a shoulder ride to get it and he fell, pulling me down with him.”

Kenma frowns. It’s a lie, he knows it is. Keiji had told him about the incident and what his oaf of a boyfriend had done. Kei accidently head-butted Tetsurou in the fall, splitting Tetsurou’s lip. Not that it’s a big deal, just incredibly silly… So why is Tetsurou lying about it?

“Anyway, you guys need to go say goodbye to everyone,” Tetsurou continues on before any more questions can be asked. “I mostly already have, so I’ll go tidy up your mess in the rec room.”

With that, Tetsurou turns and leaves. Shouyou, of course, doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary; he hasn’t been friends with Tetsurou all his life and is more than a little oblivious to these things. There is nothing Kenma can do though, Tetsurou is very good at deflecting questions and seems in no mood to discuss whatever it is that’s bothering him.

“C’mon Kenma,” Shouyou says, casually lacing his smaller fingers through Kenma’s, both of their bags slung over his shoulder, and pulling him out of the room.

Shouyou does that often now, shouldering their bags and taking the lead, completely comfortable with Kenma and often uncaring about any other eyes on them. Sometimes it makes Kenma feel embarrassed, that Shouyou so simply displays his affections, but mostly it makes him feel secure in their relationship and cared for, important. Ignoring the awkwardness, Kenma focuses on the warmth of Shouyou’s hand.

They’re at the bottom stair when Shouyou stops abruptly and shoves Kenma back against the wall. Kenma freezes, his heart pumping quickly with the sudden burst of adrenaline. Shouyou pokes his head around the corner, like a spy in a video game, then turns back to Kenma, a finger over his lips.

“Shh,” he breathes quietly.

Kenma frowns, but then he hears the voices; adult, male, familiar… Straightening quietly, Kenma leans across Shouyou to poke his head around the corner. Standing there, half hidden behind a vending machine – but not from their view – is Coach Keishin and Coach Takeda, of Karasuno. They’re standing close, Keishin has Takeda pressed against the wall in a way that makes Kenma blush. But they’re simply talking.

“I miss you, Itte,” Keishin says, his voice so low and full of emotion Kenma has to strain to hear it.

Takeda smiles warmly. “But I’m still here.”

“We’re leaving.”

Takeda’s smile saddens. “I know.”

Keishin’s jaw clenches and he leans in closer, resting his forehead against Takeda’s and letting his eyes flutter closed. “Only seeing you weekends is driving me crazy, it’s not enough. Please, for the love of all that’s holy, move in with me.”

“Okay.”

Eyes opening wide, Keishin pulls back, more than a little surprised. “…What? But just last week you—”

“We should probably find a place located perfectly between Karasuno and Nekodani, so that neither of us gets resentful of the long commute while the other has a shorter commute,” Takeda says, his hand rubbing at his chin and dark brow furrowed thoughtfully. “There is a mere forty-five minutes between our respective houses, so if we find the right place, neither of us should have more than—”

Takeda’s rambling is muffled as Keishin surges forward and kisses him. Kenma’s eyes go wide and he shoves himself back against the wall to hide, his face burning with embarrassment. Shouyou snickers against his hand, trying to contain the sound, and Kenma elbows him in the side, which only causes him to grunt in discomfort.

Kenma holds his breath, his heart pounding, hoping and praying that they haven’t been heard. Thankfully – or regretfully – the smacking sound of lips continues.

“You should go, your kids will be waiting for you,” Takeda says, his voice light and happy.

Keishin hums in agreement and their footsteps sound, their voices growing distant. “I love you,” another kiss sound. “I’ll call you so we can sort this moving thing out.”

Any response from Takeda disappears with them as the door closes behind him and Kenma lets out a long breath he’d been subconsciously holding, his eyes slipping closed with relief. If they’d been caught... that would be a level of embarrassing Kenma didn’t think he’d be able to cope with.

Shouyou laughs out loud. “Oh my God! I didn’t know they were—and they—” he makes a gagging noise, “—but they seem so… oh my _God_. Keish and Coach Takeda… so weird.”

“Not necessarily,” Kenma says, he hadn’t really meant to say it, simply thinking out loud. Shouyou tilts his head in question, birdlike. “Well, Takeda has been training as a coach under Coach Ukai senior for two years. They’re in the same profession, probably helped each other and spent a lot time together…”

“Well, yeah, that’s true,” he agrees, nodding. “But you can’t deny that the kissing was gross.”

Kenma can’t help but smile at the adorable grimace, stuck somewhere between confused and disgusted, on Shouyou’s face. Without warning or forethought, a mere need, Kenma leans forward and presses a kiss to Shouyou’s lips. It’s quick and still slightly nervous, the warmth of Shouyou’s mouth leaving his skin far too soon.

Whenever they kiss Kenma can tell that both of them want more than a simple press of lips, but neither have any idea how to get more or what to do. So this is where they’re stuck, quick pecks on the lips. Not that he would ever complain, he’s just glad to have Shouyou in his life at all; near him, with him, touching him.

“We should probably get out to the bus,” Kenma says, avoiding the disappointed look on Shouyou’s face, fearing it matches his own. “If Tetsurou gets back before us we’re sure to get an earful.”

Not needing any more motivation than escaping a lecture from their team dad slash captain, Shouyou jumps down the last few steps and pulls Kenma outside after him. Once outside, Shouyou lets go of his hand and Kenma is grateful for it. In no way is Kenma ashamed of their relationship, but it draws attention and the idea of people asking questions, even if they’re simply friendly and curious, makes him feel ill. He didn’t even have to explain this to Shouyou, somehow his boyfriend has always been able to put his comfort first without prompting.

It’s a warm day and Kenma squints as they step out into the bright morning sun. It’s nearing the end of fall but they’ve had a surprisingly mild week, much to Kenma’s relief. Soon the winter chill will overwhelm any warmth the sun attempts to provide, the thought alone makes him shiver.

The four teams are gathered out the front of the lodge. Ubagawa are already on their bus, the other teams waving goodbye as they depart, leaving the Nekodani bus the next to be filled. Not without their captain, Kenma suspects, glancing back at the lodge and hoping Tetsurou won’t be too much longer.

When Kenma turns back around he has to stop dead in his tracks to refrain from slamming into a boy’s chest. Glancing up, he meets a pair of dark blue eyes with intensity that somehow reminds him of Kei, but lacking the light-brown familiarity and therefore immediately making Kenma want to hide.

“Hello Kenma,” Tobio says, his expression awkward, like he’s currently attempting to solve some ridiculous mathematical equation in his head. “Contact details. P-Please.”

Kenma is frozen, and more than a little confused. Surely Tobio Kageyama can’t be talking to him… He wants to glance behind himself to check that there isn’t someone else there, but fears it will draw more attention to himself. Also, he said Kenma’s name.

“Hey! Are you hitting on my boyfriend!?” Shouyou all but yells. Kenma sighs quietly, wanting nothing more than to run to the bus and hide, though he is grateful for the intervention.

Tobio lifts a disinterested eyebrow, gazing down at Shouyou like he’s an annoying yappy dog. “No,” he answers simply and then turns back to Kenma to try again, the overly polite words stiff in his mouth. “I would like your contact details… Please.”

Shouyou huffs angrily. “I don’t see how that’s _not_ hitting on my boyfriend, you’re asking for his phone number!”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” Tobio asks, frowning.

Shouyou’s eyes widen so far they look like they’ll fall out of his head and his face turns a shade of red Kenma has never seen before, and would prefer never to see again. Kenma winces, waiting for the explosion and having no idea how to stop it.

“You _fucking_ asshole! You know exactly who I—!”

From the corner of his eye, Kenma sees a scurry of grey and blond hair. Shouyou is caught mid-air by his red and gold Nekodani sweatshirt in his effort to tackle Tobio and Tobio’s hands, clenched dangerously into fists are restrained by his sides. Koushi is smiling and chuckling awkwardly, standing in close to Tobio, while Kei is gazing down at Shouyou like he’s the biggest pest, his bicep flexing with the effort to keep Shouyou in place.

“Tobio was simply impressed by Kenma’s skill as a point guard and wanted to trade contact details in hopes of maybe learning some basketball tips,” Koushi explained helpfully.

Glancing up at Tobio, who nods sternly, Kenma can see the admiration behind the awkwardness and intensity. It’s strange that the genius point guard, who has already been noticed by some big name recruiter’s, wants help from Kenma, a point guard who will only ever play as reserve and in second string for his high school team. Kenma holds no bitterness in this regard, he only plays basketball for fun and knows just how good his friends are.

Shrugging, Kenma takes the phone Tobio extends and types his details into it.

Koushi heaves a sigh. “Really Tobio, I would have thought you would have learned a lesson not moments ago when Koutarou was threatening to pummel you.”

Kei snorts a laugh. “Kou would be defenceless against even a little girl, trust me, he was at much more risk from Keiji.”

“Kenma!” Shouyou whines as Kenma hands Tobio’s phone back to him. “Why would you give this asshole your number?”

“Thank you,” Tobio grunts after Koushi elbows him in the ribs.

Smiling small but sincerely, flattered that Tobio truly thinks so much of his basketball skill, Kenma makes his way over to the bus and away from all the people.

It’s all been far too exciting and loud for Kenma, he’s already exhausted and just wants to nap all the way back on Shouyou’s shoulder so that he can play games at home for the rest of the day. He ran out of spare battery packs and Koutarou destroyed his PSP charger – which he very nearly murdered him over – a couple of days ago and now he’s going through withdrawals.

Kenma watches the farewells from the window. Old Coach Ukai and Coach Nekomata smiling deviously at each other as they shake hands far too firmly to be considered anything but a challenge. Koutarou and Keiji shake hands with the Shinzen captain en lieu of Tetsurou. Kei’s old teammates jumping on him, Daichi and Asahi patting him firmly on the shoulder and Koushi hugging him tightly.

Tetsurou finally exits the lodge and when Kei notices, he quickly wraps up his farewells and climbs onto the bus with Morisuke. Kenma frowns, uncertain why Tetsurou and Kei seem to be avoiding each other, uncertain whether they’re arguing or—

“Hey Ken,” Shouyou says quietly, flopping down in the seat next to him and leaning conspiratorially close, Kenma already feels himself leaning into the warmth. “Do you know what happened between Lev and Mori? Mori’s been grumpy all morning, and look.”

Shouyou points to where Kei is sitting next to Morisuke, deep in an emotional conversation, if Morisuke’s expression is anything to go by. He looks frustrated and upset. Lev walks past, sulking as he slumps down into a seat by himself.

“Last night they were talking about sex because of… Actually, I don’t know how it started,” Kenma starts casually, watching Lev mope as he recalls the conversation between him and Morisuke that neither of them probably remember Kenma witnessing. “Lev made some stupid comment about Morisuke being too small for them to have sex or something. I was only half listening and mostly when the yelling started.”

When Kenma finishes and gazes back at Shouyou, who’s face is very close after leaning across him to watch Lev, he’s blushing furiously. Kenma realises what he was talking about and with who. It doesn’t particularly bother Kenma, but it’s obvious Shouyou isn’t comfortable with the topic, which, in turn, makes Kenma feel uneasy.

“D-D-Do you—” Shouyou stutters and then clears his throat with a cough. “I-I mean, d-do you—is that s-something that you think about… much… at all.”

Kenma expects himself to feel incredibly awkward, embarrassed and uncomfortable, and yet a fond smile pulls at his mouth. Shouyou’s worry makes him feel relaxed and completely certain that he really and truly adores this boy. It even gives him a burst of bravery.

“No, never,” Kenma answers honestly, having never thought about it and not sure he ever will. “I’m still just trying to work out how to kiss you for longer.”

The flush of Shouyou’s cheeks doesn’t fade but a broad smile spreads across his face and he starts laughing, a light, bubbly sound that makes Kenma’s heart soar.

“We’ll have to work on it,” Shouyou suggests, lacing his fingers through Kenma’s and resting his head on Kenma’s shoulder. “Later.”

“Later,” Kenma agrees, leaning his head against Shouyou’s.

The bus is almost full, quiet conversations murmuring all around them. Tetsurou is the last one on the bus and Kenma regards him as he makes his way down the aisle. His best friend looks tired yet restless, like he wants nothing more than to rest but can’t switch his brain off, can’t stop twitching and fidgeting. His best friend looks uncomfortable in his own skin, frustrated and… lost. Kenma is so used to Tetsurou being his steady, reliable father figure that he has no idea what to make of these changes. No idea how to approach him, how to talk to him, how to ask him if he’s okay.

Tetsurou’s halfway down the aisle when he looks up and stops. Kenma follows Tetsurou’s eye-line to Kei, sitting next to Morisuke and lost in thought as he stares absently out the window. The bus starts moving and it jostles Tetsurou into slumping down into a seat by himself.

 

* * *

 

**[19:57] tetsu  
** _if you need anything im right here, just ask, anything at all_

Kenma rolls his eyes at the same message he’s received numerous variations of in the past forty-eight hours and switches his phone on silent. His father is away for business for a couple of days, which means that Tetsurou’s worrying and parenting goes on overdrive. Kenma is seventeen and more than capable of looking after himself. In fact, for a whole month, this month, he’s the same age as Tetsurou.

It’s been five days since they’ve been back from training camp. With being back at school, focusing on homework and regular practice, Tetsurou seems to have reverted to his normal, ridiculous self and his friendship with Kei seems not to have changed. Which is a relief, because Kenma honestly has no idea how to handle anyone else’s problems, let alone his own, he definitely would have had to ask Keiji or Morisuke for help. And by ‘help’ it would have been along the lines of: ‘Tetsurou is broken please fix him’.

He simply must have been reading the situation wrong, doing some Tetsurou style worrying, and saw Tetsurou’s stress with the team as more than it was. Although it does seem odd that in the face of the Regional Tournament and the team’s first official games, in less than two days, Tetsurou has settled…

Kenma shrugs. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Shouyou on the other hand… Since returning from training camp, each day Shouyou looks more and more dejected. And if they thought his basketball had been erratic and unpredictable at training it’s nothing compared to how it is now. He’s distracted, barely paying any attention to Keishin or Tetsurou or his teammates. Keishin avoids yelling or lecturing, partly because he doesn’t think Shouyou is listening and partly because he’s worried Shouyou will break into tears.

Kenma could guess at what’s wrong with his boyfriend, he knows about Shouyou’s father’s illness, but Shouyou hasn’t confided in him. Hasn’t told him anything. These last few days Shouyou has barely spoken a word to him.

It hurts. But what can Kenma do? He can’t force his boyfriend to open up to him, nor would he ever force him to do anything. He just has to wait… Wait and worry.

Feeling hungry, Kenma uncurls himself from his desk chair and stretches, his joints popping pleasantly as he twists his wrists. He slides his bed-socked feet along the ground lazily as he makes his way out to the kitchen and flicks the light switch on. Out the corner of his eye Kenma notices movement of a bush in his backyard and dives behind the kitchen bench.

Heart pounding against his ribcage, Kenma takes a deep breath and peers around the side of the bench. But there is nothing out of the ordinary in his backyard, far as he can see in the darkness that floods it. Huffing a laugh at himself, Kenma rises to his feet.

 _You’ve been playing too many video games_ , Tetsurou’s voice in his head scolds.

Putting his microwave meal in to cook, Kenma shuffles back to his room to play more while he waits. When he gets there though, he hears a quiet tapping noise on his window. Feeling goose bumps rise on his skin Kenma moves towards it to hear better, feeling courageous with the heavy curtain drawn closed. The sound is too rhythmic for it to be natural, but is _has_ to be, a plant or animal or something.

The microwave beeps loudly and Kenma slowly backs away from the window. He gets his meal out but, still feeling unsettled, goes over to the back door to make sure he’s just imagining things. Squinting out into the darkness of the backyard he can’t see anything. Setting his finger on the light switch, Kenma almost jumps out of his own skin when a figure is illuminated in his backyard a mere few feet from him.

He recognises the person immediately though, knowing that messy orange hair anywhere.

“Shouyou?” Kenma asks as he slides the glass door open, frowning. “What the hell are you doing out there? You scared me.”

“S-Sorry,” he murmurs, closing the distance between them and walking straight into Kenma, wrapping his arms around him. Shouyou’s voice is muffled where he’s buried his face against Kenma’s chest when he says, “I didn’t want to knock in case your dad was here.”

“He’s overseas.”

“Oh… Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

The words are barely spoken, as if he doesn’t have the energy to speak and his voice sounds sad and broken. He’s cold, frozen and trembling; the nights are getting deathly cold and all Shouyou’s wearing is a t-shirt and sweatpants. Kenma can feel his heart breaking for this small, shivering boy in his arms and still doesn’t know why… Doesn’t know if he _wants_ to know why. Doesn’t know if he can handle it.

“Shou you’re freezing, come inside.”

Without any argument, or even a word, Shouyou is moved easily into the house and Kenma takes his hand, leading Shouyou to his room. Under any other circumstances Kenma might feel nervous about the rather bold action but that’s the furthest thing from his mind. He’s far too worried about Shouyou to think about the fact that his boyfriend is in his room or to think about that promise to work on their kissing that they never got around to.

Kenma goes to his wardrobe to get Shouyou a hoodie, and maybe even a blanket considering how unusually ice-cold his sun-kissed skin was, but turns back to find Shouyou crawling into his bed. He crawls under the covers, settling himself into the side of the bed that Kenma doesn’t sleep on, as if he somehow knows. Of course he doesn’t know though, Shouyou always seems to flawlessly fit into all aspects of Kenma’s life.

Swallowing hard, Kenma approaches, sitting on his side of the bed and gazing down. Shouyou is distracted, outlining one of the kittens on the pillow case Tetsurou had given Kenma for his birthday.

Kenma’s eyes are drawn to the strands of orange hair that fall across Shouyou’s forehead and into his eyes. Without a second thought, Kenma brushes the strands back, smoothing his hand over Shouyou’s head softly and repeating the action as his eyes flutter closed appreciatively.

“Dad’s really sick,” Shouyou murmurs, his voice heavy and quiet, barely able to get the words out. Kenma’s hand halts its movement, his horror building and twisting his stomach into knots.

_Please no. Shou deserves better than to lose his—_

“Is he…?” he asks, unable to get the rest of the words past his trembling lips.

Shouyou shrugs the shoulder he isn’t lying on. “It happens. It gets better; it gets worse. He’s been this bad before,” he explains softly, matter-of-factly. “It’s selfish… but I feel so alone. Mom’s either looking after dad or working or cleaning or doing a million other things. Natsu’s too young and only partly understands what’s happening. And dad… he’s just too sick. It’s lonely there… I feel—I feel alone. And it’s stupid and selfish because—because dad’s—he’s d-dying and all I can do is feel lonely.”

Tears roll onto the pillow, Shouyou’s face contorted with anguish and self-loathing. Usually so helplessly uncertain how to console people, Kenma moves with uncharacteristic determination. He crawls under the covers and wraps his arms around Shouyou, pulling him close and resting his head on the pillow so that they’re noses are touching.

Kenma thinks about when his mother left. He was young, but they’re some of his first memories, his most painful memories. The loss of the presence of the one person he’d been closest to confused and hurt him beyond any sense of reason. And when he lashed out, when he blamed his father and took it out on him, his father was calm and patient, allowing Kenma to feel. He remembers crying hysterically, telling his father ‘I hate you, I hate you!’ when really he was saying it to his mother. His father merely drew Kenma into his arms, holding him, understanding him, crying with him, and telling him ‘I know, son, I know’.

“You’re not selfish,” Kenma says, more firmly than he’s ever said anything. “You’re allowed to feel however you feel, your parents wouldn’t begrudge it and your father wouldn’t think it selfish. They love you and you love them. You’re sad and scared and lonely, they’d understand better than anyone.

“And you’re not alone,” he affirms, his voice softening with emotion as he smooths back the strands of his wild orange hair once more. “I’m right here, Shouyou. I’m right here.”

The distance in Shouyou’s eyes clears as he focuses on Kenma’s face. Kenma watches as comprehension softens Shouyou’s features and affection brightens his eyes.

“I love you, Kenma,” Shouyou breathes.

Kenma freezes, not daring to move, not daring to breathe; more tense than he had been when he thought someone was creeping around his backyard. His heart, however, beats steady and slow, seemingly unfazed by the information. Perhaps having already known that Shouyou loves him, perhaps having already known that he—

Shouyou’s eyes widen and he moves back, slightly alarmed as Kenma surges forward. Kenma kisses him. And when Shouyou’s bottom lip gets trapped between Kenma’s as he pulls back, the small gasp Shouyou breathes against his mouth reels him back in. Kenma shapes their lips together, again and again, sometimes bravely sucking or licking at Shouyou’s lips. Shouyou’s fingers clutch at the front of Kenma’s hoody and his leg wraps around his hip.

It’s comfortable. The kisses tender and loving. Their bodies warm and entwined.

It’s safe.

Kenma loves it. Kenma loves Shouyou.

“Kenma!” An uncertain but frustrated voice calls through the house. It’s Tetsurou, he’d know that annoying dad tone anywhere.

Shouyou flinches, eyes wide and scared as he jerks away from Kenma like he’s been burnt. Kenma barely has time to sit up and scowl at the door before Tetsurou bursts in.

“I swear you better not be dead or so help me I will—Oh,” Tetsurou breathes awkwardly, his eyes narrowing on Shouyou, sitting right on the edge of Kenma’s bed, looking about ready to run for his life. Tetsurou’s holding a baseball bat, the intimidation factor of which is marginalised by how humorously small the bat is as he hasn’t used it since he was a kid and his oddly appropriate ‘Stop Stressing Meowt’ t-shirt.

“Kenma, next time check your phone so I know that the boy sneaking around outside your house is in fact your boyfriend and not a murderer. And no boys over on a school night,” Tetsurou says sternly, but there is a twinkle of amusement in his eye.

“Sorry Captain! It was my fault,” Shouyou explains quickly, loudly.

Kenma sighs heavily. “That’s not even a rule.”

“You make a good point,” Tetsurou allows, grinning freely. His expression turns serious once more and he points the bat at them. “But _no_ funny business, we have training tomorrow!”

Shouyou sits up straight so abruptly he almost falls off the bed and salutes. “Of course, sir!”

With a wink, undermining the whole ‘no funny business’ comment, Tetsurou shuts the door and says, “Have a good night boys.”

Only when they hear the front door close does Shouyou slump down on the bed, face first. “I thought he was going to murder me,” he mutters into the blankets. “I completely forgot about your second dad.”

Kenma feels a smile stretch his lips and laughs at the ridiculousness of it. His best friend is an idiot, but at least Kenma knows he’ll always be there if he needs him.

“Come here,” Kenma prompts, breaking Shouyou from his distracted staring at Kenma’s laughter. Shouyou shuffles under the blankets again. “You haven’t been sleeping very well have you?” Shouyou shakes his head. “Okay, you can sleep here and I will get Tetsu to drive you home early so you can get ready for school. I just have to text him and you should message your mom.”

Kenma goes to get his phone off his desk but Shouyou catches his sleeve.

“Thank you, Kenma. For everything.”

Smiling, Kenma leans down and kisses Shouyou softly on the cheek. “Any time. I love you too after all.”

A happy smile warms Shouyou’s face as he blinks sleepily at him. No matter what happens, Kenma will be there for him; no matter how difficult or scary. He never wants Shouyou to feel alone ever again, he won’t let it happen.

 

* * *

 

“Ready for the telling final practice?” Tetsurou questions, appearing out of nowhere to lean against the locker beside Kei’s. If not for his well-developed, self-disciplined ability to not react to things, he would have flinched.

Kei glances at him but Tetsurou looks far too adorable with his head tilted against the locker and a ridiculous grin stretched across his face, so he swiftly moves his gaze back to his locker. The more he avoids it the closer he gets to being able to convince himself it’s getting easier to ignore his desire for Tetsurou and the desire to kiss those stupid, beautiful grins off his stupid, attractive face.

While training camp had been a series of frustrating and awkward events, things seem to have gone back to normal since being back to school. A great relief. The student body isn’t even discussing how much of a ‘man whore’ Tetsurou is anymore. And Tetsurou himself seemed to quickly calm from the basketball stress that had vexed him throughout the week of training camp.

It was hard. Seeing Tetsurou like that; so miserable and distracted. Kei had felt so helpless, the only help he could offer was to play his best and train hard for his team and his captain.

“You make it sound like we’re marching off to war,” Kei responds, shoving books into his bag and closing his locker.

“But we are Tsukki!” Tetsurou declares, threading his arm through Kei’s and pulling him towards the gym for after school practice. “Brothers in arms, off to battle for the glory of National Champion! Our quest starts here, a drizzling backdrop of heavy grey clouds and—”

Kei groans. “You’re so loud, Tetsu.”

“Tsukki approaches the giant stadium where he has learnt everything he knows—”

“Yes, the gym taught me _all_ the most important life skills.”

“—from his trusty commander, who leads the way to finalise their battle preparations—”

“Of how to shoot a ball through a metal circle.”

“—that will determine their fate. Victory or doom. It is all up to them now.”

Silence falls between them, made even more effective as they exit the bustle of the locker corridor. Without a word, Kei turns towards a grinning Tetsurou, raising an are-you-finished-being-dramatic-yet eyebrow. Tetsurou merely chuckles, his eyes crinkling with mirth. He really is unfairly gorgeous, especially when he smiles so freely, especially when Kei is the cause for such an unrestrained smile.

When they get to the locker-room, most of the team’s already there, greeting them with excitement. Despite his dramatics, Tetsurou’s right, today’s training is important. It’s their final practice before Nekodani’s first official game in the Regional Championship tournament tomorrow. They’ll be playing seven games in the next month that will decide on their eligibility for the State Championship to represent their region. With an unlucky draw, the two games tomorrow promise some of the most difficult match ups though, Nohebi being a team that certainly has the talent to knock them out early.

Even Koutarou isn’t fucking around today, dressing quickly and asking Kei if he needs help with anything before leaving. After the almost-getting-hard-against-Tetsurou incident, Koutarou had apologised profusely, going so far as to grovel in the face of Kei’s fury. Kei forgave him, not only to stop the embarrassing apology but because after his humiliation dissipated he found he wasn’t angry at Koutarou, just at himself. Nonetheless, Koutarou has been overly nice to him all week. It’s nice, unnecessary, but nice.

As they start their warm ups Kei’s eyes drift to a head of orange hair. Their biggest concern. Concern enough that they’re considering dropping Shouyou for Morisuke, which, Kei agrees with.

Shouyou has been getting worse and worse. Lethargic and distracted, barely paying attention to what’s going on around him. He’s looked like he’s barely got any sleep all week, Kei knows the signs from personal experience. Today though, Kei notices that old light in his eyes and less redness around his eyes.

“Finally got your shit together I see, Shrimp?” Kei comments as they’re playing a practice match, after carefully measured his mood so as not to actually hurt him. It was obvious something serious was happening with him.

Shouyou doesn’t answer, at least verbally. Instead, he makes an impossible steal straight from Kei and charges up the court to make an impossible jump, slam-dunking the ball through the hoop. Meeting Shouyou’s intense orange gaze, Kei actually feels the twitch of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Come on Tsukki, don’t lose to Shouyou!” Tadashi’s voice cheers from the sidelines.

Kei turns to him with a withering look, which makes his best friend look horrified, and says, “Hah?”

Keiji approaches, leaning over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. “Let’s get it back.”

“Obviously,” Kei responds, bumping his fist with Keiji’s and smiling at Tadashi, who grins back in turn.

 

* * *

 

The ball slams to the court, echoing around the room as a repetitive reminder that Kei, once again, can’t do what he needs to. He growls and turns on his heel to do it again, rubbing the sweatband on his wrist across his forehead to remove the sticky, annoying moisture there.

“Getting frustrated, Tsukki?” Tetsurou says, the provocation of his words making Kei clench his fists, which only means it’s working. “Good, _do_ something about it.”

The words sound harsh, but that’s just how they train. Tetsurou knows how to get under his skin, better than anyone, and it always pushes Kei to play better.

The rest of the team finished training half an hour ago but Tetsurou wanted to try a few extra things with Kei and asked for Keiji and Lev’s help.

When Kei turns back around he’s facing a smirking Tetsurou and a deeply concentrating Lev. They’re playing two on two, but their structure is how the opposition teams will likely work to shut Kei down. Double team him. Even though that leaves one of their other team members free, for Kei to fight back and score with two opponents on him would be incredibly demoralising. Kei understands that, he simply questions Tetsurou’s timing in practicing it for the first time.

‘I know you can do better Kei, just, please… Show me’ Tetsurou had said, his eyes practically pleading. And Kei, knowing how stressed Tetsurou has been about their team and the upcoming games, could say nothing but ‘okay’. The last thing he ever wants is to let Tetsurou down.

Keiji’s bouncing the ball, waiting for Kei to be ready. He doesn’t know that he’ll ever be ready; attempt after attempt has left him doubting his ability. His muscles ache, his breath is short, he’s covered in sweat and he’s exhausted. But Kei glances up and meets Tetsurou’s burning brown eyes and knows he has to do this. For the team. For Tetsurou.

“C’mon, Tsukki,” Tetsurou growls, his voice full of encouragement so profound Kei can feel it burn through his chest.

Kei straightens, huffing out a breath and then he strides forward. Keiji moves with him in perfect synchronisation. Tetsurou and Lev, having faced it multiple times, prepare for the attack and having the advantage of knowing Keiji won’t shoot it himself. Kei can see Tetsurou watching his movement carefully, eyes taking in every flex of muscle, waiting for the telling weave or pivot to evade them. He doesn’t do either of those things though, he simply charges forward, straight at them.

A minor twitch of his finger gives Keiji the signal to pass. He can tell Keiji’s surprised by the timing of it, but doesn’t hesitate, passing powerfully. By the time the ball touches his fingertips Kei’s only at the three-point-line, typically too far out with two opponents worth of pressure.

He meets Tetsurou’s gaze momentarily and practically hears the disappointed, ‘too soon, Tsukki!”

Ignoring it, Kei catches the pass, sets his stance and extends to shoot. Four long arms come into his shooting view and Kei smirks. _Too soon, Tetsu._ Feet still on the ground, Kei resets his stance swiftly and, shooting view now clear, shoots before Tetsurou and Lev even land from their jump.

Kei doesn’t need to watch the arc of the ball as Keiji and Lev do, he knows it’s going through and so does Tetsurou. Their gazes meet and it feels like that first week they’d met, that first shot he’d made against Tetsurou at Nekodani’s try-outs. Tetsurou stares, in disbelief and amazement. At him, at Kei. He feels pride fill him, tingling and exciting, and smirks at Tetsurou.

“What the _actual_ fuck?” Lev exclaims, confused. “Did he just do what I think he did?”

“Yes,” Keiji answers, a hint of surprise in his monotone voice. “Personal time difference.”

“You asshole,” Tetsurou mutters, a broad grin brightening the shock from his face. “You brilliant, clever, smartass, asshole. You stole my move!”

Kei scoffs. “Yeah, well, you were annoying me. Have to get one up on you somehow.”

He barks a loud laugh, shaking his head with disbelief. “You’re fucking amazing, Tsukki.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, Kei feels warmth rush to his cheeks. If not for the fact that he’s already sweaty and likely red-faced from exertion, he would be embarrassed, but all he can do is stare at Tetsurou who stares straight back at him. Smiling.

“Again,” Lev prompts excitedly. “Again, again.”

“As much as I would love to drill it into Tsukki, make sure he’s got the move perfect, it’s very situational and I trust his ability to use it when he needs to. We’ve been here long enough,” Tetsurou comments, crouching down to catch his breath finally. “Don’t want to over exert you guys before tomorrow. Go home and get a good night of sleep.”

“Yes captain!” Lev says, saluting. Something he and Hinata have taken to doing.

With a single nod, Keiji leaves with a, “See you tomorrow.”

Stalling, because apparently he’s a sucker for punishment, Kei takes his time stretching out his legs and arms as Tetsurou packs away the equipment. He likes spending time with Tetsurou. When it’s just the two of them. When it feels like he’s the only one Tetsurou sees. When he can delude himself into believing that their conversations and interactions are more than the mere friendship they truly are.

Even without the delusion, simply being around Tetsurou is when Kei feels happiest.

“I really—I still can’t believe you pulled that off,” Tetsurou says, approaching him after locking the equipment room door. “You did it perfectly too. And there was something even better about your shooting form, if that’s even possible. It looked… More natural. More Kei.”

The muscles over Kei’s ribs tighten at the sound of his name in Tetsurou’s mouth, the short, simple sound Tetsurou somehow makes sound like so much _more_. It doesn’t happen often. Kei loves it.

Kei shrugs, nonchalantly and Tetsurou pulls him to his feet.

“It really was awesome,” Tetsurou says, smiling face far too close as Kei straightens and Tetsurou casually slings an arm around his shoulders. “You really are incredible, you know that?”

Breath catching in his throat, the weight of Tetsurou’s words too important to ignore, Kei turns to face him but forgets. Forgets how close they are. Tetsurou does this so often it feels normal, natural. The warmth of his body searing through Kei’s clothes and burn his skin in the most pleasant way. Kei usually avoids this, facing him, and this is exactly why. They’re noses are almost touching, Tetsurou’s lips stretched into his beautiful smile and the depths of his dark eyes swallow Kei whole.

He’s lost. Lost in Tetsurou. The heat of his breath over Kei’s face, the beautiful depth of colour of his sweat-damp tan skin, the movement of his long, dark lashes as he glances down at Kei’s lips…

Air rushes out of him. Tetsurou is staring at his mouth. Kei’s body reacts, the way it’s always wanted to, and leans in, closing the distance between them.

Kissing Tetsurou.

For one whole second Kei feels like he’s floating, he’s warm and his heart is thundering in the best possible way because he’s _kissing_ Tetsurou. The calm, breath-taking eye of the hurricane. And then, abruptly, everything falls down around him because _he’s_ kissing Tetsurou, who is stiff and uncomfortable and—

_Fuck!_

Kei pulls away swiftly, like he’s been burnt, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth and staring wide-eyed at a shocked looking Tetsurou. “I… I-I’m so sorry. Shit…”

Everything in him is screaming at him to _run_ as adrenaline floods him, fight or flight instincts taking over as Tetsurou stares at him dumbly. Maintaining some semblance of dignity, Kei turns and walks out of the gym, hurriedly.

The world is a blur around his as he gets to his locker and grabs his bags with trembling hands. An accusing voice in his head chanting, _you fucking idiot, you fucking idiot!_ After the fifth attempt, Kei finally gets his jacket on and slings his bags over his shoulder. But when he turns to leave Tetsurou is standing in the doorway.

Kei wants to vomit.

“Tsukki, what—what the _hell_ was that?” Tetsurou questions.

Just like that, the anger and accusation of his voice, edged with a hint of disgust, makes Kei see red. Suddenly everything clears and he’s trembling with rage rather than fear and anxiety. Defensive. Frustrated. Enraged.

How many times does he have to stare at him before he notices? How many times does he have to smile at him and laugh with him before he sees? How much more of himself can Kei give before Tetsurou acknowledges him?

“A kiss, I would have thought that was obvious,” Kei says, his voice laced with snark.

Tetsurou frowns deeply. “Wh—Why? Why the ever living _fuck_ would _you_ kiss me?”

Kei laughs, completely lacking humour and slightly hysterical. “Because I’m a complete fucking idiot who ever so stupidly started liking you, for God knows what reason.”

His dark eyes widen and he pales, shaking his head vigorously. “No. No.”

“Oh what? You’re going to tell me how I feel now?”

“Nonono, you can’t—you _don’t_.”

“Yes, yes, I do! I like you Tetsurou. I have _feelings_ for you,” Kei yells, carelessly; months of fear and repression completely abandoned.

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not a fucking faggot!” Tetsurou screams.

The silence that follows is deafening. Kei feels like he’s been hit, his ears ringing with Tetsurou’s voice as the words slicing through his skin like a million tiny razors. Taking in a deep, numbing breath, Kei sets his jaw and moves forward. One foot after the other. Sidestepping an unmoving Tetsurou, he makes his way out the door and outside.

It’s pouring rain. The wind rushes about him, threatening to over balance him with every gust. The rain obstructs his view, covering his glasses in a haze. But it doesn’t matter. Kei just walks forward. Vaguely aware that this is the road that leads to his house.

A car pulls up beside him, the gravel crunching under wheels. Kei stops. Kei stares straight ahead. He doesn’t have to look to know who it is, and yet his head turns in Tetsurou’s direction anyway, like he can’t help himself. Like, despite everything, he just wants to see Tetsurou.

Kei swallows the bile in his throat and keeps walking.

Wheels skid furiously and Tetsurou disappears. Kei stops walking again.

His whole body starts to shudder, his throat swelling with emotion as hot tears well in his eyes. Tilting his head back, Kei stands there, letting the rain fall on him, soaking through his clothes and chilling him to the bone.

_That’s what friends are for._

 

* * *

 

Air rushes back into Tetsurou’s lungs and suddenly Kei is gone, no longer standing in front of him angry and terrified and hurt.

“Wait… wait! Kei! Kei wait,” he calls out, voice cracking.

But he’s gone, the locker-room empty, the corridor empty.

Tetsurou rushes over to his locker and grabs his bags, running out of the room without closing his locker and barely remembering to lock the facilities behind him. He’s in his car faster than he believed possible and with a trembling grip on the steering wheel, pulls out onto the road.

He finds Kei quickly even though it felt like an eternity from when he screamed those hideous words to when he could breathe again. Kei’s soaking wet, the usual strong set of his shoulders slumped and his usually bright golden eyes dim as he stares distantly.

 _You did this_ , an accusing voice in his head seethes. _You did this to him. To your friend. To someone you claim to care for._

Tetsurou’s hands squeeze the steering wheel, bone white with the pressure. Kei stops, as if considering getting in the car. But no. No… _Of course he doesn’t want your help, you’re the problem, you’re the reason he even_ needs _help_. Kei keeps walking.

Slamming his hand painfully hard against the steering wheel, Tetsurou growls at himself and then accelerates away. He needs to leave. He needs to get home. He comes to an abrupt stop in his driveway, so quick that it jolts him forward against his seatbelt. But his hands refuse to leave the steering wheel, rain bombarding his windscreen too quickly for his wipers to keep up.

Tetsurou’s breath rushes out of him, erratic and panicked. He feels hot, his skin burning. Dizzy, his mind spinning.

_I like you, Tetsurou. I have feelings for you._

Slowly detaching a trembling hand from his steering wheel, finger by finger, Tetsurou touches his lips softly. He can still feel it. He can still feel Kei there. The touch of his mouth more tender than anything Tetsurou ever deserved.

He curls his hand into a fist.

“No…”

Fumbling for his phone, Tetsurou wipes the blur from his eyes and focuses on the glowing screen. Searching through his contacts he finds the person he’s looking for and does his best not to wince as he hits send.

 **[19:33] me**  
_busy?_

 **[19:33] ana**  
_never 2 busy 4 u sxy :P_

Cringing at the message, Tetsurou puts his phone down and reverses out of his driveway. Ana’s house is less than five minutes’ drive, but he stretches it to ten minutes avoiding—

Tetsurou’s jaw clenches.

When he’s outside her house he messages her again and stares at the steering wheel, carefully focusing on nothing. Usually when he needs to distract his mind, he would flood his thoughts with basketball, strategy or the team or training. But any thought of basketball brings him back to…

“Kei,” he breathes.

Tetsurou flinches as the passenger side door opens, even though he was expecting it to.

“Hey Tetsu, see you finally decided to forgive me,” Ana says, closing the door behind her and leaning over the centre console, closer to him. She’s wearing a low-cut top, cleavage on full display, and a short skirt, even though it’s a cold fall night. “Where are we going, Tetsu? Are we going to study some more biology?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to go anywhere,” Tetsurou murmurs, hating the way she says his name.

“Oh, well, that’s okay, we can do it here. Come here.”

Turning his head with a hand on his cheek, Tetsurou is made to look directly at Ana for the first time and she smiles at him. He should feel guilty that he’s using Ana to forget about… to forget, but he can’t bring himself to. He’s pretty sure she wouldn’t even care.

Leaning forward, Ana’s eyes flutter closed as she meets Tetsurou’s mouth. He forces his eyes closed too, focussing on the feel of her mouth. Her lips move against his, softer and more pliant than— _don’t_. Her tongue nudges at his lips, insistent and seeking access. Her kiss is firm and impatient, moving too quickly, unlike— _no, stop thinking about it_.

Tetsurou feels tense, uncomfortable, and he doesn’t know why. He’s kissed Ana before, a few times, and has never had this problem before. Letting out a forcefully relaxing breath, Tetsurou cups her face with his hands and tilts his head to deepen the kiss. It’s not a bad kiss, it’s just not—

_He’s close, so close. Lips swollen and red as he’s habitually, thoughtfully, bitten at them throughout practice. His blond eyelashes flutter closed, soft and delicate against his pale, lightly freckled skin. He smells like sweat and polished pine and rubber, pleasant in its familiarity. His breath is short, hot against Tetsurou’s skin. Pressure and movement against his mouth; gentle… tender… craving…_

“Mm,” Tetsurou groans, his eyes opening wide and he pulls away from Ana. “I don’t think… I don’t think I can do this…”

“Sure you can, big guy,” Ana purrs, tilting her head and licking her lips flirtatiously. “About time you got it in. Isn’t that what you want Tetsu, to be inside?”

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how to. _What I want?_

Ana takes his silence as affirmation and moves forward to kiss him. Her tongue is in his mouth again and Tetsurou awkwardly accepts it, moving his mouth with hers, but he’s not paying much attention. Busy contemplating what he _wants_.

He wants to play basketball. He wants his friends and family to be happy and healthy. He wants to feel light, laughing and smiling and calm, like he does when he’s with…

Ana climbs on top of him and Tetsurou’s arms rest on her sides automatically, to steady her. She’s skinny, his fingers rolling over the hollows between her ribs and he can’t help but think there isn’t enough muscle, she doesn’t feel solid enough. Not like when he held Kei, sitting at the foot of his bed, emotionally drained and with a fierce desire to protect him, Tetsurou’s arms wrapped tightly around Kei’s surprisingly solid form. He looks tall and gangly, but he’s strong, especially through his core. His well-defined abdominal muscles flex as he takes his shirt off to shower after practice, water rolling down the swell of muscle under his milky-white skin…

Tetsurou’s cock twitches and he groans against Ana’s mouth. In response she grinds against him, rolling her hips. One of his hands moves to her hip while the other moves to her hair. Her hair is thick and his fingers get tangled in it’s length, falling straight down her shoulders. It’s too long, not soft, not curling around the rims of black-framed glasses, not darkening blond as it sticks to sweat damp skin.

_I like you, Tetsurou. I have feelings for you._

Ana moans as Tetsurou’s fingers grip tightly into her hair. But all he can hear are the appreciative humming noises Kei made when he was massaging his hand. She grinds down against his now exceedingly hard cock.

“Mm, Kei,” Tetsurou moans and Ana freezes against him, pulling away.

“Kei? Who’s Kei…?” she questions, sounding more curious than annoyed. Knowing her, as little as he does, she likely – fortunately – doesn’t care about the basketball team to know its members.

Tetsurou’s eyes are wide as he realises what he’s done, what he’s said. His stomach tying itself in knots as fear grips him. “F-Fuck… I can’t do this.”

Ana scoffs. “Saying another girls name isn’t enough to make me reconsider.”

She leans down quickly and before Tetsurou even knows what’s happening her mouth is enclosed on his again, her tongue pushing into his mouth invasively. Groaning a complaint, Tetsurou grips her by the shoulders and pushes her back.

“Get off.”

Pouting playfully, she leans into his neck and starts kissing him there. “Aww, come on, Tetsu. Clearly you can’t have your little ‘Kei’, so have me instead.”

_I could have had him…_

Tetsurou’s jaw clenches and he pushes her back once more, growling, “I said _no_ , now get the _fuck_ off of me and out of my car.”

“Holy shit dude,” she giggles to hide her embarrassment as she climbs off him. “You in love with this bitch or something?”

“Get. Out.”

Ana sneers at him but obeys. As soon as the passenger door closes Tetsurou reverses out onto the road and drives home, going the long way around again. Avoiding. He turns the radio on, full blast, and sings along with a semi-familiar song – after switching from one he and Kei sing along to in the mornings as they drive to school.

Thankfully neither of his parents are home as he rushes through the house, still half-hard and covered in sweat from practice. Climbing the stairs to his bedroom is uncomfortable. Tetsurou slams the door behind him, throws his bags on the ground far too forcefully and flops down heavily on his bed. He really should shower, he feels gross. But he can’t be bothered.

Tetsurou is _tired_.

_I like you, Tetsurou._

Avoiding it is driving him to distraction, so Tetsurou allows his eyes to fall closed and allows himself to finally, really feel it. Kei felt warm, the kiss tender and affectionate, slow and unassuming.

 _There is a big difference in kissing someone for the sake of kissing them and kissing someone because you really want them. You can feel it, in the touch, in the warmth..._ Koushi’s voice reminds him helpfully. That’s what Kei’s kiss had been. Kei had wanted it, in that moment Kei had wanted to kiss Tetsurou more than anything. He felt it. The pure need.

If he hadn’t been so unresponsive would Kei have done more? Gone further? In the locker-room, would he have backed Tetsurou up against the lockers and leaned in slowly, golden eyes intently focused on nothing but Tetsurou. Would the kiss grow more passionate? Kei’s tongue sliding slowly across Tetsurou’s top lip, waiting for his response before pushing inside and meeting Tetsurou’s tongue.

 _And, wow, Kei’s incredible with his mouth,_ Koushi’s voice reminds him, unhelpfully. Tetsurou’s wonders what it would feel like, to nibble and suck at Kei’s lips, to make them pink and swollen himself. Kei gets them like that every practice. His lips wrap around the water bottle and his cheeks hollow as he drains the liquid out of it. He tips back his head and his long, pale neck arches, throat working, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

Tetsurou opens his eyes to the heat of arousal blazing low in his abdomen and he can feel the blood swelling his erection until it’s throbbing and aching and impossible to ignore. Looking down at himself, Tetsurou groans.

He sits up, grabbing the bottle of lube from his bedside table before pulling his shirt off and disposing of it on the floor. Laying back, he lifts his hips and pulls down his shorts and underwear, kicking his shoes on the ground with them. The cold air raises goosebumps on his hot skin in the wake of his warm hand sliding down his stomach. Tetsurou wraps his lube-slicked fingers around himself and lets out a breathy sigh of relief.

Feeling imaginary eyes on him, Tetsurou looks down at himself once more and finds Kei gazing down at him. His gold eyes glisten in the dark as a smirk pulls teasingly at his lips and lowers himself over Tetsurou’s cock.

 _Have to get one up on you somehow_ , Kei’s says in his mind, voice low and promising. Kei smiles again before his jaw drops open and he wraps his beautiful mouth around Tetsurou’s cock.

“ _Kei…_ ” Tetsurou groans, his muscles tensing as he imagines the wet heat of Kei’s mouth. Wondering just how much he can take. Wondering what his tongue would do. Wondering at the noises he’d make if Tetsurou laced his fingers through soft blond hair and tugged.

Tetsurou lets his head fall back, moaning loudly as he strokes himself in time with the imaginary bob of Kei’s head.

 _You’re so loud, Tetsu_ , Kei whispers in his ear.

It builds too quickly, he’s been worked up for too long and is on the precipice of promised bliss. He doesn’t have the willpower to hold on, his body aching and weary, his mind ravished by previously inconceivable, and yet absolutely breath-taking, thoughts of Kei.

_Tetsu…_

“ _Fuck_ , Kei, I’m—”

His heels dig into the mattress and his back arches off the bed. It dizzies him, muscles tensing deliciously tight as he releases onto his stomach.

As he starts to relax, Tetsurou stares up at his ceiling, mind suddenly and painfully clear, and all he wants to do is cry. Especially as he tilts his head up and sees that Kei isn’t there. _He’ll never be there_ , he reminds himself.

_He’ll never forgive you._

Hands trembling, a tear rolls down Tetsurou’s cheek and he laughs, a short, pathetic, choked sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had a member of my family die from cancer in the past, it took a long time of ups and downs, and it’s not something I use lightly in a story. As such I’m not going to leave the Shouyou’s dad situation on a cliff-hanger, so I’m going to confirm that he’s not going to die anytime soon.


	15. Rescue My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After such a positive response from the previous chapter I needed to take a moment and say a big, all-encompassing, resounding THANK YOU! I truly appreciate all of your support and love reading comments and responses. I’m so lucky to have such a lovely group of readers who’re all so patient and never make writing this fic feel anything other than enjoyable and I honestly cannot thank you enough. I apologise for breaking all of your hearts in the previous chapter. I promise to only do it a bit more before I stitch you all back together and wrap you in love and fluff. Enjoy ^_^
> 
> My incredible beta [Bec](http://midnightmooncatcher.tumblr.com/) created this amazing [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0qWjHP1GQc&list=PLL_Z7IpV6se1MAOQU7mjzDLpogRRPjyKo&index=1) for HtP.

Morning light filters through the leaves of the tree outside and into Kei’s room, creating moving patterns across his bed. After lying awake for hours Kei’s eyes are more than accustomed to the usually invasive sunshine and he has no need to hide away from it. His eyes are sore though, dry and itchy from staring into distant nothingness for long periods of time and short bouts of silent tears.

He’s curled on his side, muscles aching not from last night’s exertive practice – he’s had more intense practice sessions – but from remaining in the one position for too long, his whole body perpetually tense as if physically trying to hold himself together. It’s no use of course. He can’t hold together what has already fallen apart.

It hurts. It hurts too fucking much to contemplate. Kei keeps his mind carefully numbed. It’s easier. At least it is when he’s curled up in bed, alone, and it’s quiet and there is no one to expect normal human functions of him. Which is why he’s never been less pleased to hear his brother’s voice.

“Kei, wake up, wake up!” Akiteru calls cheerfully, opening the door and entering the room blithely. “It’s the big day! First game, first game!”

Heaving a sigh, because Akiteru is right, Kei groans and straightens his body, muscles and joints complaining at the movement. Sitting up, Kei rubs at his eyes and carefully avoids looking at his brother as he surreptitiously moves on aching limbs to his wardrobe.

“I know, get out.”

“Wow, rude, I thought I taught you better manners than that, young man.” His brother’s voice is light and playful, Kei can hear the smile in it. He’s so excited to see Kei play today and, yet, it’s all Kei can do to even get himself out of bed and to the game. Already the day feels surreal, like he’s watching from far away.

“Going to follow me into the shower too or can I do that by myself?” Kei says, aiming for his usual light-hearted snark but falling pitifully short of the mark. It’s really no surprise Akiteru notices.

“Woah, hey.” Akiteru catches his elbow as he goes to walk past. Kei very pointedly doesn’t look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just—didn’t sleep much. Can I shower now?”

He can see Akiteru’s gold eyes roam his face, taking in his likely bloodshot eyes and the undoubtedly fucking miserable expression on his face. He can’t hide from his brother. Even if he hadn’t been crying, even if he’d slept even a merciful ten minutes, even if he could force a smile, Akiteru would know.

“What happened?” Akiteru asks, voice firm but filled with concern. Kei doesn’t answer, simply staring at the soft, dark grey carpet under his bare feet and curling his long toes into it distractedly. “Is it Tetsu?”

He winces almost imperceptibly, a minor turn down at the corners of his mouth and a small line between his eyebrows for half a second. But it’s enough.

“What did he do?” Akiteru asks instantly, accusation heavy in his voice.

“Nothing!” Kei snaps defensively with the instinctive need to protect Tetsurou.

“Kei, tell me—”

“I _can’t_ ,” Kei stresses, finally meeting his brother’s gaze, willing him to understand. “I can’t right now, Aki. I have two games to play today and I _cannot_ think about—” Kei trails off, swallowing hard. “Not now.”

Slowly, Akiteru nods, immense worry lining his features. “Okay. Go get ready, we’ll leave in twenty minutes.”

So he showers and dresses in a mechanical haze that reminds him of when he started playing with Karasuno. When he didn’t care about basketball. When he didn’t care about friends. When he had no motivation and didn’t care about anything. That hole in his heart left by the gaping chasm of motivation he lacked is now there for an entirely different Tetsurou shaped reason.

Kei had known he was in love with Tetsurou, but he didn’t know just how far he’d fallen until the rejection painfully tore his hands away from his eyes and exposed him to depth of it. It feels like he’s falling eternally into a deep, dark abyss and instead of being carefully caught, plummeting further.

Drawing comfort from the knowledge that even those pathetic, troubling thoughts can’t well tears in his eyes, Kei grabs his sports duffle and heads out to the car with Akiteru. As they drive, Kei can feel his brother’s concerned gaze flicker to him every now and then, but Akiteru doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even talk about the upcoming games and Kei doesn’t want to think about how pitiful he must truly look to not be on the receiving end of his brother’s purposely embarrassing banter.

The host stadium for the Regional Tournament is only twenty minutes from where they live and, thankfully, since Akiteru is coming to watch, Kei doesn’t have to get on a bus with the rest of the team. Which gives him time to compose himself into something resembling his usual self before he has to see his friends, most of whom are far too perceptive, a trait he would usually appreciate.

They arrive at the stadium and Kei barely pays attention to the vast facilities as they make their way inside. Akiteru leads the way as they walk through crowds of teams and players gathered in the entrance. Seeing his red and gold uniform, some of them whisper as he passes, ‘look, a Nekodani powerhouse player’ and ‘Nekodani will probably win as usual’ and ‘apparently they’re all gay, maybe sucking down the D is the secret to success’. Kei barely has the energy to roll his eyes at their idiocy.

Dutifully reading maps and getting instructions from an event team member, Akiteru leads Kei straight to the Nekodani changing rooms as they are to play one of the first matches of the day. The rest of the team hasn’t arrived yet so Kei sits down on one of the benches and Akiteru paces nervously, asking questions about their first opponent and if Nekodani is prepared. Kei wants to scoff and say something sarcastic along the lines of, ‘no, we’ve been spending all those hours training doing pirouettes and singing scales’ but doesn’t have the energy and merely nods an affirmation. Kei can tell Akiteru desperately wants to ask if he’s okay but doesn’t. At least Akiteru’s nosiness is mitigated by his ability to understand when restraint is truly needed.

The commanding sound of Coach Keishin’s voice serves as a warning before the door opens and the Nekodani team, decked out brightly in their red and gold, enter the room. Kei lowers his gaze, even as his friends greet him enthusiastically, but the door closes behind them and Tetsurou isn’t here. Lifting his head quickly, his eyes dart about the room, but that mess of black hair is nowhere to be seen.

Panic rises and twists in his gut uncomfortably. Akiteru seems to notice his reaction and then Tetsurou’s absence.

“Hey Kou, where’s Tetsu?” Akiteru asks casually, but Kei can see the worry in his golden-brown eyes. Renewed worry, for Tetsurou. Because his brother likes and cares for Tetsurou. Because his brother supports Kei and thought Kei should tell Tetsurou about his feelings. Because his brother thinks they would be good together and be good for each other.

Oh how wrong he was.

“Bro said he was driving himself,” Koutarou answers, already unashamedly stripping and changing into his basketball uniform. He frowns. “Thought for sure he’d beat us here.”

Reflexively, Kei reaches for his phone but pulls his hand back and curls it into a fist to stop himself. Swallowing down his unease, he focuses on getting changed; his shorts, his jersey, his kneepads, his sweatband, his socks and shoes and finally his sports glasses. He stares down at them where he holds them in shaking hands.

The door opens and Koutarou shouts, “Tetsu!”

Kei tenses and is grateful that he’s facing away from the door. Getting used to being around him in bits and pieces will be easier. First, merely hearing Tetsurou’s voice and then seeing him. He doesn’t think he can do both at once.

“Hey, Tetsu, what the fuck is this?” Keishin’s annoyed voice cuts starkly through the murmur of welcoming.

The room goes quiet except for the sounds of people shuffling through their bags. In the discomfort of not knowing what’s happening, Kei is tempted to turn and see for himself, but at the sound of Tetsurou’s uncharacteristically strained voice he’s so very glad he didn’t.

“It’s nothing, it’s fine,” Tetsurou dismisses.

“‘Nothing’ my hairy ass,” Keishin growls. “What did you do? What were you thinking? You could have seriously injured yourself!”

At that Kei turns and his eyes immediately fall to where Keishin is inspecting Tetsurou’s hand. His favoured hand, broad and strong, has red welts and cuts spread over the knuckles, ugly and painful to simply look at. Kei knows, with sickening clarity, that this is fault. He made Tetsurou angry. He made Tetsurou do something stupid. He made Tetsurou hurt himself.

Without thought, Kei’s eyes flicker up just as Tetsurou glances away from his hand and their gazes meet. Kei expected to feel angry again, to feel hurt, but all he feels is familiar warmth spread through his chest. And, stupidly, he expects Tetsurou’s automatic, easy grin in return, but it never comes. Kei drops his gaze swiftly and turns back to face the wall.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Keishin asks, sounding uncertain. “We can rest you.”

“No,” Tetsurou says adamantly. “It looks worse than it is. I’ll just tape it.”

There is a pregnant pause before Keishin says, “Okay. C’mon guys, five minutes and we’ll make our way onto the court.”

Kei swallows hard, burying everything deep. He needs to. They have two difficult games to play and he can’t be distracted by—He has to work alongside Tetsurou and he can’t waste his energy worrying about things he has no control over. Awkwardness he expected and things he can’t fix.

Clenching his fingers tight around the band of his glasses, Kei sucks in a deep breath and forgets the pain. His muscles loosen and he fits his glasses on his head.

“I’m going to find a seat,” Akiteru says, watching Kei carefully. He simply nods mutely in response. “You’ve got this, I believe in you.”

Despite everything, a smile pulls at Kei’s mouth and he watches Akiteru leave, knowing that no matter what happens his brother will be proud of him.

 

* * *

 

The half-time siren sounds and Kei rests his hands on his knees and stares down at the polished wood floor as he attempts to catch his breath. He can see the tremble in his legs and hands and wonders how he’s still standing upright; his breath shudders painfully in his lungs and he wonders why he’s still on the court. He feels weak and his skin prickles uncomfortably as his teammates walk past, their hurt and confused eyes like a physical, mortifying touch.

Kei straightens but doesn’t allow his eyes to wander to his teammates, who are filing slowly, lethargically out of the gym and back to their designated locker-room. Instead, his eyes meet those of Akiteru, which is possibly an even worse idea. His brother looks uncertain, sitting on the edge of his seat stuck between want to comfort Kei and giving him space. The answer is space, so Kei shakes his head minutely and follows after his team. Akiteru obeys, watching after Kei helplessly.

The first game had been an intense, heart-in-mouth close call. Nekodani won by a mere two points through Koutarou’s sheer force of will. Keiji has been the ever reliable mastermind but through no fault of his own he’s working with dysfunctional puppets. Shouyou has been helpful but not influential. Tetsurou has been overly aggressive in his plays, almost getting himself removed from the court, but his strong defence stopped the opposition from scoring the final nail in their coffin and allowing Koutarou to score an impressive buzzer-beater. Kei has been… His jaw tightens painfully.

They’re losing their second game. Brutally. Twelve to thirty-one.

Kei trails after his team, barely lifting his feet for the seeming impossible effort of the task. He doesn’t want to go into that locker-room and yet he follows, off to face the music because he’s let them down. He’s let his team down. It makes him sick to his stomach and yet he can’t feel it. He can’t feel anything.

The door closes behind him. Keishin and Tadashi haven’t come with them so the room is silent aside from the harsh, heavy panting of exertion. They all refuse to look at him, except for Tetsurou, who turns to glare at him as he slows in the middle of the room.

“What the fuck was that, Kei?” Tetsurou asks, spitting his name with venom he never wanted to hear, with venom he never thought Tetsurou was capable of.

Swallowing hard, Kei turns slowly to meet Tetsurou’s furious dark gaze. Without thought, without acknowledging the fact that, as his Captain, Tetsurou’s frustration is fairly placed, all of Kei’s natural defences fly up.

He smirks. “And here I thought you were well-versed in the game of basketball, Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou’s lip twitches. “You’re losing the game for us, you realise that right? I mean, sure it’s a team sport, but you haven’t done _anything_. You’re _better_ than this, Kei. Please, for the love of fuck, just _do_ something.”

Kei rolls his eyes. “Probably should just bench me then.”

“We _can’t_ ,” Tetsurou says, his voice pleading as his expression softens. “We _need_ you.”

A sharp breath rushes out and Kei feels like his can’t breathe. All he wants to do is concede, everything inside is screaming at him to acquiesce, to listen to Tetsurou and do anything he asks. Because Kei would, Kei wants to. He trusts Tetsurou and he knows Tetsurou is right. But, in that is pure, unadulterated pain because he knows Tetsurou doesn’t feel the same. He knows Tetsurou will never give _him_ the same.

“You clearly don’t,” Kei says, his voice overwrought with vulnerability and meaning beyond that of the game.

Tetsurou heaves a deep breath and bows his head, his eyes angry and desperate as he looks back up. “Just play basketball, Kei. That’s all we ask,” Tetsurou begs through clenched teeth.

Kei snorts a laugh. “It’s just a fucking game, isn’t it Tetsurou?”

Disbelief and rage chase each other furiously across Tetsurou’s face as his seemingly impenetrable barrier of cool disintegrates. Cold fear washes over Kei and before he can even process Tetsurou’s fury, Tetsurou grips his jersey and slams him back against the lockers with a resounding screech of metal.

“If this is you taking it out on me then _find another way!_ ” Tetsurou growls, low and threatening, pressing Kei firmly against the locker with no escape. “Don’t force the problems between us on them! They deserve better than this Kei, and you know it!”

Kei carefully keeps his expression impassive, his jaw stubbornly set, but in the silence that follows he feels himself crumbling. He feels shame, embarrassment, guilt. Tetsurou’s right, his friends don’t deserve this. Resigning himself to this, to his need to do better for them, Kei let’s all the anger and resentment fade away.

Relaxing against Tetsurou, it finally registers how close they are. Closer than they’ve ever been, closer than the shoulder ride incident, closer than he should be comfortable with if he could be fucked containing his desire anymore. Tetsurou’s body is warm with exertion and hard with muscle, he’s strong and it feels far too good. Too tired to care, too tired to stop himself, Kei’s gaze moves down from Tetsurou’s dark, dangerous eyes to his lips. He feels Tetsurou tense, probably making him uncomfortable again, but he doesn’t move away.

Strong hands pull Tetsurou away. “C’mon Tetsu, let’s go for a walk bro, go get some air,” Koutarou says, his voice surprisingly pacifying as he pulls a suddenly pliant Tetsurou out of the room.

Kei stares down at the ground once more, the others milling about quietly, whispering to each other awkwardly and trying not to disturb him. They rest and drink energy drinks and dry the sweat from their bodies. By the time their break has passed Keishin still hasn’t come, Tetsurou and Koutarou haven’t returned and Kei still hasn’t moved.

With a murmur of “We should probably get back out there,” the rest of the Nekodani team leave. Kei can feel eyes on him; a calm, quiet presence lingering in the room and he knows who it is even before his monotone voice breaks the silence.

“What did he do?” Keiji asks, his voice smooth and without accusation despite the words.

Kei shakes his head slowly. “I can’t.”

“I understand. But whatever occurred between the two of you, Tetsurou’s right. You shouldn’t take this out on us,” Keiji says bluntly. “Especially Koutarou. This is his last year Kei, he needs this for his future, and I know you’ll never admit it but you care about him and want it for him too. You probably still even want it for Tetsurou, even if he hurt you.”

He nods, eyes prickling with tears he refuses to shed and he bites his lip to hold them back. Keiji’s right; it’s just that simple. Kei sucks in a deep breath and lifts his head to face his friend.

“Will you help me?”

Keiji smiles, small and soft and somehow wickedly dangerous. “What do you have in mind?”

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou stumbles over his feet as Koutarou pulls him out the side entrance of the stadium and out into the cool air. He can still feel Kei against him, he can still see those pained golden eyes and the uncharacteristically resigned expression on his pale face. It hurts. To see Kei like that. It feels like someone is pressing down so hard on his chest that he can’t breathe.

He knew it would be bad, that today would be an awkward mess. But it’s so much worse. Tetsurou never expected to feel so fragmented and unsure of himself. He woke up feeling dazed and lost; like he’s been watching himself heedlessly react to things from afar. Like he’s wearing someone else’s itchy, uncomfortable skin and he doesn’t know who he is anymore.

He never thought he would be the person who hurt his friends. He never thought he would be the person who lashes out recklessly. He never thought he would be the person who makes such idiotic and self-destructive decisions that only make him feel like complete shit. He never thought he would be the person who is so blind to everything around him.

He never thought he could hate himself this much.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Koutarou questions, his frown smoothing out into a wide-eyed concerned expression as he turns to face Tetsurou. “Tetsu… Are you okay?”

Inhaling a shuddering breath that breaks into a sob, Tetsurou understands the fearful worry on his best friends face. He can feel the hot tears stinging in his eyes and the cold trails they’ve left on his cheeks. He can feel the intense trembling in his extremities and the heavy, gut-twisting sickness in his stomach.

Tetsurou shakes his head. “No. I fucked up Kou. I fucked up and I don’t think I can fix it.”

Koutarou swallows hard and nods helplessly. “Okay… Is it—Did something happen with Tsukki?”

Miserable laughter bubbles up his throat and he crouches down as his legs almost give out from under him. Nearly overbalancing, he reaches out to steady himself and he hisses through the pain flaring across his knuckles.

Staring down at the tape over the affected hand, he remembers the intense burst of pain as he slammed his fist into his wardrobe door this morning and the sickening ache that followed as the angry adrenaline faded. Waking without the haze of confusion and lust, waking after soft dreams of warm lips and pale skin and waking to the clarity of what he’d done… It had all been too much. A disgusted rage had burned through him and destroyed what remained of his restraint.

It hurt. It still hurts.

He deserves to hurt.

“Shit, okay, just—breathe. Just breathe, Tetsu. In and out.”

Koutarou’s strong hand rubs circles against his back and, despite Koutarou’s awkward unease, Tetsurou follows his instructions obediently. It helps. Just having him here helps. And with Koutarou’s soothing presence Tetsurou manages to calm himself. Sucking in a deep breath, he straightens.

Tilting his head back, Tetsurou gazes up at the dark, cloudy sky; all day those looming clouds have promised rain but not a single drop has fallen.

He’s been selfish. Even this, his outburst and needing to be dragged outside to calm down, is selfish. Some Captain he is. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how lost he feels; Tetsurou needs to quash the swirling maelstrom of emotion inside and focus. This game is important. If Nekodani loses they can’t go to the State Championships. If they can’t go to the State Championships, Koutarou – and, to a lesser extent of care, himself – cannot get their final chance to be scouted. If Tetsurou cannot pull his shit together, he’ll let down his friends and his team. And _that_ is something he refuses to allow happen.

“I believe we have a game we need to win,” Tetsurou declares softly, meeting Koutarou’s worried yellow-brown eyes with a small smile. His worry transforms into a concerned sort of determination, the kind he gets when he’s contemplating basketball strategy.

“Yeah we do,” Koutarou says, nodding sternly and marching back towards the stadium with Tetsurou following after him.

Bolstering himself with his best friend’s powerful willpower, Tetsurou resolves to do anything and everything in his capacity to win. His friends are too important. His team is too important.

Finding the locker-room empty, Tetsurou and Koutarou make their way back to the court in which their game is being played – or, rather, is having a break from being played. The large digital numbers of Nekodani and Nohebi’s scores glare at him as they enter, bright red and affronting. Both teams are huddled on the sidelines and Keishin looks up with irritated relief as Nekodani’s two Captains return. His teammates eye him warily, worriedly, as he joins them. Kei doesn’t look up.

“Okay guys, we’re under some kinda heat now,” Keishin says, his voice loud and commanding, speaking the unavoidable truth. “We’re nineteen points down, but that is in no way an impossible gap to close. Nohebi is a clever team and they’ve been playing well on our weaknesses. We need to work our way around them, defend all exploitable weaknesses by moving faster, passing harder and playing smarter. We have to make some structure changes though, sorry Kei, you’re on the bench for the second half.”

Guilt twists instantly in Tetsurou’s stomach and his eyes widen as he glances up at Keishin in surprise, though he really should have seen it coming. He looks over at Kei, instead of observing the defeat that has been slumping his shoulders all day, his shoulders are squared and his gold eyes burn with a familiar fierceness that takes Tetsurou’s breath away.

Kei’s jaw clenches with effort and he says, “I understand why, but please give me another chance.”

Keishin sighs heavily, saddened by his own decision. “Sorry Kei, I can’t just—”

“Tsukki’s playing,” Tetsurou asserts without hesitation, unwavering faith blazing through him. He’s not playing without Kei. “We need him.”

Without waiting for a response, Tetsurou notices the Nohebi team moving onto the court and turns on his heel to do the same.

“Jesus, fine,” Keishin says, sounding slightly abashed to have his decision turned over so flippantly. Tetsurou will apologise later, though he already knows Keishin isn’t bothered. “You have ten minutes, Kei. You have _one_ chance. Turn this freaking game around. Go on.”

Tetsurou hears his teammates follow him onto the court but his attention is drawn to the boy with the sleek brown hair sneering at him. Nohebi’s Captain, Daishou, has ever been an epic fucking thorn in Tetsuou’s side, but today he’s especially biting. Of course it had to be today that they were playing the most notoriously devious team in their region. Of course it had to be today that Tetsurou has no patience for the little games Daishou likes to play with him.

It was Daishou’s remarks after the first half of the game – luckily no one else heard – that sent Tetsurou off the edge. He’d hissed about Kei, about how useless he was and asking why he was even part of the team. Tetsurou knows, better than anyone, how _good_ Kei is and that he probably even deserves to play on a _better_ team. Kei’s performance today has been nothing short of maddening, making Tetsurou want to shake him and ask ‘why? Why, for the love of God, are you _not_ playing with any effort?’

But he knows the reason. He knows why.

It’s Tetsurou’s fault after all.

“Wonderful to see all the queers back in one piece, if not a little shaken, poor little lambs…” Daishou says, his voice sickly sweet and laced with thinly veiled venom. “Interesting to see you haven’t taken the pretty blond, but no less useless, homo off-court though. All the better for us, I suppose… Could at _least_ make it a little exciting for us, Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou’s hand curls into a fist and the pain that flares across his knuckles only serves to make him angrier. He’s about to snap back, or possibly do worse, when Koutarou speaks.

“Hey Tetsu, do you hear something?” he asks, voice filled with mock confusion.

Feeling the reliable, steady presence of his best friend nearby, Tetsurou feels himself physically relax and fall back into his easy-going self. He feels the smile desperately wanting to curve at his mouth but, for the sake of pissing off people he loathes, Tetsurou keeps his expression carefully impassive, playing along with delight.

“Hmm, now that you mention it,” Tetsurou says slowly, scrunching his face up with thought. “I do hear the repulsive hissing of some spineless, slimy snakes.”

“Oh look, the cat’s got his tongue back,” Daishou smirks, his eyes almost completely closed with the effort of the fake smile. “Also, all snakes have are spines and they’re certainly not—”

Shouyou groans loudly, his round face contorted into an exasperated grimace. “Why is the gross snake still talking?”

Pride swelling for his teammates, for the fact that even the slightly socially inept Shouyou has picked up his propensity for sarcasm and antagonism, Tetsurou grins and feels a tight knot of tension in his chest loosen. Koutarou and Shouyou are their usual tenaciously determined selves – even if Koutarou threw a hissy fit in the first quarter, he quickly bounced back – and Keiji looks as serenely calculating as ever. Kei, fire returned to his eyes, is standing strong, Daishou’s words utterly ineffective.

They can do this. They can come back and win. They have more than enough skill to crush Nohebi, they just have to bring it together and work together. They have to push aside their personal problems and concentrate on their goal. If anyone can do it, it’s this team. Tetsurou’s team.

The whistle blows and the referee strides into the centre for jump ball. Rolling out his shoulders, Tetsurou bends his knees and settles himself into the zone. His attention becomes acutely aware of the court, the players from each team, their positioning and movements and nothing else.

The ball flies up into the air and Tetsurou pushes himself upwards, timing his jump perfectly to tap the ball down at its apex, giving his opponent no chance as most players aim to tap on its downward trajectory. The ball is pushed perfectly into Keiji’s hands and they’re all off, racing towards the hoop.

Except Kei.

Tetsurou feels his heart sink, disappointment washing over him, but pushes himself forward. Koutarou and Shouyou are ahead of him, charging towards the scoring zone but their opponents are keeping up with them easily. Keiji is moving quickly alongside him, expertly dribbling and evading Daishou, giving Shouyou and Koutarou time to shake their opponents and giving Tetsurou time to get into the scoring zone. Or so he thought.

With a perplexed intake of breath, Tetsurou watches Keiji pass the ball backwards without even looking, to Kei who waits at half-court expectantly. Tetsurou feels himself lurch to a stop with the Nohebi point-guard who is visibly torn between guarding his opponent and the amused knowledge that it doesn’t matter because Kei will have to come closer to shoot, he can’t shoot from—

Kei raises the ball above his head and bends his knees in that flawless, effortless shooting form Tetsurou admires. He sucks in a disbelieving breath and can almost hear everyone else watching do the same.

The ball floats through the air in a perfect arc and Tetsurou knows, from the moment it leaves Kei’s fingertips, that it’s going straight through the hoop. The swish of the net is pronounced in the held breath of awed silence, even with other games still being played on other courts around them.

“Holy shit,” Tetsurou breathes, the words engulfed by the sudden uproar of cheering, Lev and Koutarou the loudest and easily heard over the cacophony.

The Nohebi players are slightly dazed and slowly make their way over for their throw in. Kei and Keiji bump fists but otherwise simply move into defensive position, seemingly indifferent to the riot they’ve caused and the inconceivable play they’ve made. Kei’s bright eyes, with their usual questioning exasperation, flicker over to Tetsurou and for a moment he feels like all the pain between them is gone, a figment of his imagination. But Kei drops his gaze swiftly, biting at his bottom lip in a familiar display of insecurity, and turns his attention back to the game.

“Tetsu?” Koutarou questions.

Shaking himself, Tetsurou turns his mind back from the game, suppressing the desire to simply stand there are watch Kei for… well, forever. Grateful that the Nohebi players are even more shaken by the play than himself and are taking their time to throw in.

Well and truly having the carpet pulled from underneath them, Nohebi play with less cohesion and more trepidation. Their passes weak, their plays too simple. Shouyou intercepts and charges up the court, running circles around his opponent with unsurpassed amounts of energy as the game wears on. Keiji, who was actually well matched against a skilful – Tetsurou will begrudgingly admit, if never out loud – Daishou, is freed after Kei’s incredible play, with Nohebi anxious any time the ball nears him. Koutarou plays with a blindly bright grin and leaps for slam dunks that would probably demoralise even some NBA players. And Tetsurou feels back in his element, motivating his team, getting rebounds and turning over the ball more often than not.

Nohebi continues to score, but Nekodani steadily closes the gap and five minutes from the end of the game, pull ahead.

“Tsukki!” Tetsurou calls in the last fifteen seconds, having gotten his fingers to a Nohebi throw in with a desperate – unnecessary – stretch that hurts his knuckles.

The pass lands firmly in Kei’s hands and he shoots reliably from the three-point line. The arc is too high to fall through the hoop, but then Kei shot it that way on purpose. Moving with pure instinct – not subtle enough to keep up with Tetsurou, Keiji and Kei’s complicated signal system – Koutarou leaps at the basket, grabs the ball as it rebounds off the backboard and slams it through the hoop. Their well-practice alley oop.

The final whistle sounds and Koutarou charges over to Kei with an enormous grin, jumping on him. Tetsurou winces with sympathy, knowing the weight of that level of excitement all too well, but also knowing that, despite his lean frame, Kei is sturdy enough to take it. Not only that, but he deserves it. He deserves all the praise and excitement. Fighting back like that, after what Tetsurou did to him and after seeming so broken. Tetsurou doesn’t think he could be prouder of Kei. Not that he has the right to be.

Tetsurou’s winning grin falls and he bends over his knees, only half-feigning exhaustion to hide his expression from his teammates, who come and pat him on the back in congratulations anyway. He can hear them, all around him, celebrating and cheering, gushing over the game, but he doesn’t move.

“Tetsurou?” Keiji’s smooth voice finally breaks through his gloomy haze. Tetsurou looks up to see concern in those dark green eyes. “Let’s go back to the locker-room.”

There is no question in his words, nor a command, but a simply stated sentence of reason. Tetsurou follows after Keiji without thought, understanding, without knowing how or why and without caring how or why, that Keiji knows. He always just _knows_.

In the locker-room, most of his team are chatting happily about the game as they get changed out of their sweaty clothes. The second-string, with an easier draw, finished their singular winning game of the day and joined the rest of the team during drinks break through the second half of the Nekodani vs Nohebi game. He can feel the worried glances of his friends, Koutarou and Keiji, knowing something is wrong, and even Kenma who he can feel watching him as well as keeping up a conversation with an exhilarated Shouyou.

As Tetsurou follows suit and gets changed mechanically, he’s intently focussed on listening to Kei’s grumbling complaints as he tries to get changed while Tadashi and Akiteru enthuse animatedly over his game.

“Alright, let’s get going Kei,” Akiteru says, his voice light with happiness and his smile discernible in every word.

“I’m coming with you,” Tadashi asserts quickly, voice wavering with tension and concern. Kei doesn’t even complain about it as he usually half-heartedly would.

The locker-room door opens and Akiteru and Tadashi’s excited babble fades out of the room but Kei’s stopped by his proud coach.

“Well done, kid,” Keishin says, his voice low and rumbly with emotion he reserves for important moments. “I knew you had it in you. Just—don’t scare me like that again. And—shit—let’s work on those half-courters, yeah?”

Kei mumbles an abashed affirmation and then Tetsurou hears the door open. An ache settles in his chest at the thought of Kei’s sudden absence and he consequentially turns to gaze at the door. But Kei’s still there, frozen with his hand on the door and staring back at him, and as their gaze’s meet something sharp and agonising tears through him.

Then Kei is gone and Tetsurou feels like all the air has been punched out of his chest. He stares at the door in which Kei disappeared, blaming it for taking Kei away. But, really, the only one Tetsurou has to blame is himself.

“—surou…?”

“Hey, Tetsu!”

Tetsurou blinks to find the locker-room is almost empty, except for Koutarou, Keiji, Keishin and himself. Remembering himself, Tetsurou pulls on his Nekodani sweatshirt and slides his feet roughly into his sneakers.

“Tell Keish that we’re going back home with you,” Koutarou prompts, his eyes wide with not-so-subtle indication to act normal, as if this is something that’s already been organised. “So he can tick us off from his Responsibility List.”

“Ah, yeah, yep,” Tetsurou nods, slinging his bag over his shoulder and probably not the least bit convincing.

Walking out of the locker-room without even a farewell to Keishin, who exchanges a concerned look with Keiji, Tetsurou makes his way out to his car. Their second game of the day being later in the day, the stadium is now much quieter, only a few final games left playing on the courts and almost no one in the entrance ways.

Koutarou seems to keep up a one-sided conversation with Keiji – in that way only Koutarou can – as they follow Tetsurou out to his car. He can feel Keiji watching him, even as he utters vague responses to Koutarou, but Tetsurou doesn’t say anything. If he does, if he even thinks about anything other than how tired he is and getting home, then he’s not sure he’ll be able to stop. He’s not sure he’ll be able to control himself. He can feel it, the tight, agonising knot of emotion that’s been slowly coiling its way around his chest since last night.

His parents aren’t home, Tetsurou can’t remember why at this point, but he’s relieved. Disappointing his friends will already be more than he can take.

Tetsurou sits at the end of his bed, forcing down big gulps of water from the bottle he grabbed on the way up to his bedroom. Koutarou’s clearly nervous babble has quietened to uneasy silence as he sits on Tetsurou’s desk chair and spins himself back and forth. Keiji stands, leaning against his dresser with his arms folded neatly over his chest and gazing at Tetsurou patiently.

“Tetsu,” Koutarou says, unable to take the tension anymore, his voice uncharacteristically small and uncertain. “What happened?”

Tetsurou swallows hard, staring down at the plastic water bottle that’s creaking in protest of his tight grip.

“Kei kissed me.”

Koutarou gasps and splutters, “He—what? Like… in a gay way?”

Tetsurou narrows his eyes at his friend. “Is there another way for two dudes to kiss?”

“Well… like, family or on the cheek or—”

“He kissed me on the mouth and I’m almost certain I’m not related to him.”

“But—he—you’re straight… Tsukki knows that—”

“Koutarou,” Keiji interrupts his boyfriend’s confused, unhelpful rambling. Tetsurou doesn’t blame Koutarou, he knows the feeling. “Kei told you he likes you, Tetsurou?”

He lets out a breath and nods. “Yeah.”

 _I like you, Tetsurou. I have feelings for you,_ he can still hear the pleading in Kei’s voice, begging for Tetsurou to reciprocate, or at least for some acceptance and understanding. Tetsurou squeezes his eyes closed and bows his head. Why couldn’t he have just given Kei that? Why couldn’t he have just stopped and breathed and _thought_?

Tetsurou’s pulse races with the coming question.

“What did you do?” Keiji asks, gently and lacking accusation.

His throat feels dry, his stomach twists horribly at the memory. At his words. At _that_ word.

“I said the ‘F’ word,” Tetsurou mumbles, like a child who knows he’s about to be scolded.

The room is silent and Tetsurou doesn’t need to look up to see the shock and hurt and resentment on their faces, if one more expressive than the other.

“You fucking did what?” Koutarou yells, angrier than Tetsurou has ever heard him.

“You called Kei a ‘faggot’?” Keiji asks directly, his voice dangerously toneless.

“Not… Not directly,” Tetsurou says, wincing at the pathetic sound of his voice, the pathetic sound of the excuse. “Not that it excuses it. There is no excuse… I just—I didn’t believe it, that he liked me. I couldn’t—I told him that it wasn’t true, that he couldn’t. He asked me why… I said—I said ‘because I’m not a faggot’.”

Tetsurou gazes up at them this time, because he deserves their outrage and disdain. All of Koutarou’s anger dissipates into the worst kind of dejection Tetsurou can imagine and Keiji’s expression is so carefully controlled he can feel his distress in how much he’s trying not to show it.

“I’m sorry,” Tetsurou says, his voice breaking with the raw emotion that’s drowning him. He’s not crying, but there is a hysterical edge to his voice as he rambles, begging for forgiveness with his excuses and apologies. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was confused and upset and angry. You know I love you guys, you know I love _everything_ about you and you know I want nothing but the best for you and for you to be happy. I didn’t mean it,” he repeats, pushing his fingers forcefully through his hair and doubling over. Breath ragged and short with overwhelming distress. “I just said it and I can’t take it back, but I would. For Kei, for you guys, for Ken and Shou. You know that I don’t—that I think you’re all amazing and—”

“Tetsu. Tetsu, stop,” Koutarou says, surprisingly stern as he sits on the bed beside Tetsurou and pulls his hands from their painful grip in his messy black hair. Koutarou puts a warm arm around him. “Of course we know,” he says, voice quiet and sincere. “You’re the most fucking loyal friend in the God damn world, how could we not know?”

Tetsurou glances up into Koutarou’s worried expression and then up at Keiji.

“You’re not mad…? You—You forgive me?”

Keiji levels the softest expression at him. “People make mistakes, Tetsurou. People say stupid things that they don’t mean. You don’t need to ask for our forgiveness because you’re our friend and we love you and you already have it.”

Relief spreads through him, easing some of the aching tension in his muscles. Seeming to feel him relaxing, Koutarou rubs soothingly at his back again. Tetsurou is so lucky to have such amazing friends. He doesn’t know what he’d do without them. He would be so lost. He doesn’t even want to think about it.

“What did Tsukki say?” Koutarou prompts.

Tetsurou heaves a sigh, the knot inside him unwinding slightly as the worst part to tell his friends is out of the way. “Nothing. He just left. I tried to go after him but he wouldn’t get in the car. Understandably.”

“Probably for the best,” Keiji muses. “Sounds like you were both far too emotional for further confrontation. So you went home and… punched your wardrobe?” His eyes roam to the dent in the white door in question.

Tetsurou grimaces. “No… That happened this morning. I didn’t—I didn’t come home straight away…”

“Oh God, what did you do?” Koutarou questions, pulling his leg up onto the bed to face him.

“I…” He winces. “Contacted Ana.”

“No,” Koutarou groans dramatically, drawing out the sound, long and pained, and head-butting Tetsurou’s shoulder. “Why? Why, oh why, oh why would you do that? You can’t just fuck away the gay you know.”

Tetsurou snorts, amused despite the unfortunate circumstances. “Apparently not.”

Koutarou’s head lifts abruptly, his eyes narrowing. “What does _that_ mean?”

“Well,” he starts, sucking in a deep breath. “I had Ana in the car, being her usual pushy self, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about Kei. She was kissing me and all I could think about were his lips. She was on top of me and all I could think about was his pale skin and the freckles across his nose and how solid he is and his light brown eyes and soft blond hair and… _what?_ ”

As he speaks a broad smile slowly spreads its way onto Koutarou’s expressive features and a small, knowing smile curls its way onto Keiji’s mouth. Tetsurou feels a, not entirely unpleasant, nervous twist in his stomach. He hasn’t allowed himself to think about what it means. About the way he feels about Kei. But their expressions are more than telling.

“You like Tsukki!” Koutarou accuses, pointing a finger and slapping a hand over his mouth as if he said something completely scandalous.

Tetsurou tries his best to keep a smile from his face but fails. “Of course I like Tsukki, I wouldn’t be friends with him if I didn’t like him.”

“No! You _like_  like him! You’re attracted to him! You wanna kiss him!”

Tetsurou hums thoughtfully. “If that were true then I would have shoved Ana off me, told her to get out of my car, come home and jerked off thinking about him. Which is… exactly what I did,” he adds, mumbling.

Koutarou makes some high-pitched whine that sounds an awful lot like a dying bird. “Dude! You’re—You’re gay?”

Tetsurou frowns and scratches the back of his head. “I don’t think so… I mean, I’m fairly sure I still like girls. Not, specific girls, but attracted to them, in general.”

“I believe the term you’re looking for is ‘bisexual’,” Keiji offers, smiling like he somehow knew all along. He didn’t. Probably.

It’s not the first time Tetsurou’s heard the term of course, but it’s certainly the first time he’s heard of it in regards to himself. The first time he’s considered it in terms of himself. Being attracted to both males and females. The thought makes Tetsurou uncomfortable though, even if his skin no longer feels like it belongs to someone else, even if he recognises it as a part of himself.

He frowns. “I guess… But I think, I’m mostly just Kei-sexual. I really only want him… Wow,” Tetsurou breathes, huffing a laugh. It’s the first time he’s allowed himself to admit, even to himself, and is happily surprised by how freeing and _right_ it feels. “I like Kei.”

“That’s why you didn’t believe him,” Keiji muses, almost to himself.

“What?”

Keiji meets his gaze, eyes knowing. “When Kei confessed how he felt about you and you refused to believe him. I think some part of you already knew, that you like him, and, knowing you, you refused to believe it because you think the world of him and don’t think you deserve him.”

There is no question in his words, they’re spoken with such certainty that Tetsurou immediately knows he’s right. Tetsurou thinks Kei is incredible, funny, skilled, intelligent, gorgeous, strong and mature. Tetsurou has a lot of wonderful friends, but Kei—Kei’s special. How can someone that amazing like someone like Tetsurou?

He doesn’t have time to contemplate his own self-depreciation though because the fact that he already knew how he felt about Kei hits him. _Hard._

Tetsurou reaches back through the weeks and months frantically, searching for the moment, searching for the precise time that he developed these feelings for Kei. His mind races over training sessions and long walks to and from school, driving in the car and watching movies together, making Kei exasperated with his dramatics and playing video games. When all his friends got together for birthdays or training or lunch, how many times did Tetsurou deliberately seek Kei? How many times did he give the excuse of his other friends being ‘couple-y’?

Rising to his feet as ice-cold comprehension creeps through his veins, Tetsurou paces.

He remembers meeting Kei, the cocky smirk during tryouts that, even more than his faultless shooting form, caught Tetsurou’s attention. He remembers water-soaked Kei, getting into his car in the morning and taking off his glasses to wipe them clear, and how beautiful he thought those gold eyes were. He remembers Kei going out in the last of the summer heat to play basketball with him, to distract him and getting sunburnt for him. He remembers the adorable shocked expression on Kei’s face when Koutarou kissed him in appreciation for standing up for Keiji and the uncomfortable, jealous twist in his stomach at the sight of it.

“Er, Tetsu?”

He remembers the fierce, burning _need_ to protect Kei when Spencer had hisses nasty things about him. He remembers Kei’s pale skin and golden blond hair illuminated beautifully by the glowing stars in Hitoka’s bedroom as he thanked Tetsurou sincerely. He remembers Kei’s long fingers curling around his hand as he massaged it, the small gasping noises of pleasure he was trying so hard to contain and the long delicious line of his neck as he tilted his head back, enjoying it. He remembers Tooru’s discerning, knowing look when Tetsurou denied romantic involvement between himself and Kei. He remembers Kei’s vulnerability and trust in revealing his past pain with his parents.

“I think you broke him…” Koutarou murmurs to Keiji who has gone to sit next to him on Tetsurou’s bed to avoid his manic pacing. “Should we do something?”

“No, I think he just needs a moment,” Keiji responds calmly.

He remembers holding Kei, strong and steady even after the emotional turmoil of newly disclosed secrets, holding him for long minutes and feeling so unbelievably comfortable. He remembers the irritable heat of jealousy when he learned of Kei and Koushi’s previous relationship and taking it out on Kei like an absolute idiot. He remembers Kei’s lips, bitten and swollen after every practice game at camp and Tetsurou’s inability to stop staring at his mouth after Koushi purposely drew his attention to it.

He remembers Koutarou on his shoulders, trapping him against Kei, so close, their noses touching and the strange but desperate need to kiss him. He remembers Kei landing on top of him, sitting up, straddling his hips, the lovely long lines of his body and the instant heat of lust taking Tetsurou’s breath away.

“Tetsu, stop pacing, you’re making me nervous. What’s wrong? Well—y’know, what _more_ is wrong?” Koutarou asks.

“Oh, shit—fucking _God_!” Tetsurou mutters and stops dead, staring at them with wide eyes. “Holy hell, I’m fucking obsessed him! How did you two not _notice_ this?”

Koutarou gasps, offended. “ _Us?_ How did _you_ not notice?”

He sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair, attempting to smooth the mess he made of it before, more than the mess it usually is. “I thought I was just being a good friend. I’ve been so close with you guys for so long that I just didn’t see it as abnormal… as anything more. But fuck! I’m so _close_ to him! I’ve never… I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be so close to someone before.”

A loud laugh rings out in the silence that follows Tetsurou’s revelation and Koutarou smacks a hand over his mouth but it doesn’t stop the fit of laughter from shaking through his whole body. Tetsurou frowns and looks to Keiji for reason but finds his green eyes sparkling with amusement he feels is completely inappropriate and unfair.

Tetsurou huffs, but has no energy to be annoyed. “This isn’t funny.”

“It’s a bit funny,” Keiji declares.

“Sorry dude, but it’s fucking hilarious. You—You fell in love with Tsukki and you didn’t even know it was happening.”

He feels his face grow hot with embarrassment he’s never felt before and his stomach squirms at the word, at the entire notion of being ‘in love’. It’s not something he considered but it _hurts_ like it’s possible; fresh wounds being pulled open and having salt rubbed in. He swallows hard.

“I don’t think… I don’t know that I—”

“You totally do! You totally love him!”

“Koutarou,” Keiji warns, sensing Tetsurou’s fresh wave of panic.

“What if he doesn’t want to talk to me or see me?” Tetsurou asks under his breath, staring down at the dark carpet of his room wishing it had all the answers. “What if I can’t fix it? What if he doesn’t forgive me?”

“He’s already forgiven you.”

Doubtful, Tetsurou gazes up to meet Keiji’s eyes but his expression is resolute. “How can you know that?” Tetsurou asks, barely above a whisper.

“The way Kei played today, after you confronted him in the locker-room. A lot of that was for the team, for me and Koutarou, but most of it was for you, Tetsurou. Even if he was hurting,” Keiji explains frankly. “I saw it today, for the first time and with surprising clarity, how much Kei cares about you. I know what it’s like to care about someone that much,” he says, squeezing Koutarou’s hand where they’re laced together in his lap. “And I would forgive much worse than a stupid, emotional slip of words.”

Tetsurou glances at Koutarou, who nods in agreement and gives him an encouraging smile. “It’ll be okay, bro. It’ll probably just take, like, a lot of grovelling.”

He laughs. “I’m completely willing to do that. To do anything. I just want… I just want to be with him.”

Feeling oddly calm, if a bit raw from the emotional overload of the last twenty-four hours, Tetsurou allows himself to relax. He likes Kei. Kei likes him. He hurt Kei, he didn’t mean to and he wants to— _needs_ to apologise. Not for himself, not so that he can be with Kei, but for Kei, because he doesn’t deserve what Tetsurou did to him.

Though it would be a lie if he said he didn’t hope that he could repair their relationship enough for Kei to at least consider being with him. That’s not important. Not yet.

“I need to go apologise,” Tetsurou says decidedly.

“No, you can’t,” Keiji asserts firmly, shaking his head. “Not today, Tetsurou. Kei is likely still hurting and you need to give him some more time. Just wait until tomorrow.”

Tetsurou sucks in a deep, fortifying breath, because he knows Keiji is right, but everything inside him is begging him to go apologise. It’s only early in the evening and he’s not sure he can resist the urge. Tetsurou is already missing Kei, which sounds ridiculous, but with this apparently-not-so-new yearning inside him he just wants to be close to Kei.

“Okay,” he allows, flopping down bodily onto his bed. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be here, brooding.”

Keiji rolls his eyes – _something he learned from Kei_ , Tetsurou thinks with a pang – but Koutarou responds, “Don’t worry bro, we’re not going anywhere. We’ll distract you! Soon you’ll be like ‘Kei who?’”

Tetsurou squints up at him like he’s stupid.

“Okay, maybe not,” Koutarou says, face scrunching up in thought. “Think we can go raid Ken’s games? I wanna play that one with the guns again.”

“There are a lot of video games with guns, Koutarou,” Keiji says. “You might have to narrow it down a little.”

“You know, the one in the jungle… Or in the city… I can’t remember.”

Keiji sighs and Tetsurou watches their strange form of bickering with an amused smile but an ache in his heart. Aching for Kei. Because now he knows he wants this, he wants to be with Kei, more than he’s ever wanted anything.

Tetsurou closes his eyes and summons Kei’s voice in his head. _I like you, Tetsurou. I have feelings for you._ He listens to it over and over, clinging to the words desperately. Hoping, with every fibre of his being, that he’s not too late.

 

* * *

 

Curled in his blanket that protects him from the fall morning chill, Kei stares up at the fluffy white clouds floating across the pale blue sky from the hammock in the backyard. Absently, he strokes Tux, who is curled up against his chest, purring like a motor. At least one of them is happy.

He’s been here for hours but Kei can feel Akiteru’s eyes on him again from inside, probably in the kitchen with long fingers curled around a hot mug of coffee. It’s difficult not to feel it, the weight of all that worry. He understands it though. If it had been Akiteru curled up in a ball last night, crying, then Kei would be worried too. Though, Kei more inwardly so, where their personalities differ.

After exciting quite long enough about the game, Akiteru and Tadashi were quiet on the drive home while Kei stared out the window, keeping his mind carefully blank. As soon as Kei had walked in the door his composure rapidly deteriorated and he crumbled under the stress and hurt. He had curled up into bed and, through quiet tears, slowly explained to Akiteru and Tadashi what had happened with Tetsurou. They were clearly angry, but were more focussed on what hurt Kei the most, the rejection.

“Tsukki…” Tadashi had breathed, sitting on the bed next to him and not knowing what to say.

“Oh Kei, I’m so sorry,” Akiteru said, smoothing a hand down his arm comfortingly.

“You know what the most pathetic part is?” Kei questioned, huffing a rueful laugh and swallowing against the tight pain in his throat. “I’ve already forgiven him.”

Akiteru’s eyes had grown wide, a tear trailing a shining line down his cheek. “Kei… Do you love Tetsurou?”

_Yes._

Kei squeezes his eyes closed, unable to look at the sky anymore. Because thinking hurts, remembering hurts… Everything hurts.

Abruptly, he uprights himself, dislodging Tux with a hiss of complaint, and shuffles back inside in his blanket. Knowing he needs to _do_ something, Kei takes a vigorous, far too hot shower. He scrubs at his body and pushes shampoo through his hair meticulously, concentrating on the process, concentrating on every movement of every step. Well-versed in avoiding painful thoughts and distracting himself.

When he goes back into his room his pale skin is red from the scorching heat of the water and a harsh scrubbing with a towel, and his hair is messy and still damp. Kei dresses in navy-blue track pants, a white t-shirt and his comfortable grey Adidas hoodie. He’s halfway through lacing his black sneakers when there is a soft knock at his door.

Anxiety causes him to pause his efforts, fingers curling around the laces. He’s knows it’s Akiteru, but he’s worried what his brother might say or ask or inform that there is someone here to see him, a friend here to check on him. Which was precisely why he’s dressing to leave. Kei doesn’t want to talk to them, he has no answers for them.

“Come in,” he says, stubbornly forcing himself to calm and continue lacing his shoes.

The door opens slowly but Kei doesn’t look up at Akiteru, who he can see in his periphery is standing tentatively at the threshold.

“Where are you going?” Akiteru asks.

“Out,” Kei replies, picking up his basketball from its usual place on his desk.

Akiteru surprisingly huffs a laugh. “Didn’t have enough basketball in those two stressful games yesterday? Be careful, Kei, someone might think you’re passionate about the game.”

A smile tugs at Kei’s mouth as he opens the front door. “Better keep this between us then. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything.”

To Kei’s surprise, Akiteru turns his back and heads into his room, to likely do more work. He had expected his brother to be impossibly overprotective after last night, as he had been the first few weeks after the incident with his parents. There are still some worried glances and careful tiptoeing around him but nowhere near what he expected. It’s as though Akiteru’s worried about Kei but not the situation or perhaps he believes in Kei’s ability to handle it.

No matter the reason, Kei is grateful for it.

By the time Kei reaches the nearby community basketball court it’s about ten in the morning, and due to it being cold and a Sunday, no one else, except a few passing dog walkers, is here. He has the court to himself. Knowing he’ll warm up quickly enough, Kei shivers as he shrugs out of his hoodie and places it on a bench along with his phone and keys.

Doing a lazy set of stretches and warm ups, Kei starts shooting, chasing the ball where it lands to keep himself warm. At first he shoots from the free-throw line and then from various angles along the three-point line, working himself backwards to half-court. It’s all much easier without the pressure of defence, but Kei pushes himself, shooting over and over until he’s sweating and panting.

It feels good, the familiar ache of muscle exertion and heaviness in his chest. Calculating angles and forces. His t-shirt sticking to his skin and hair to his neck and forehead. Cold wind soothing the heat of his skin and the calm quiet around him.

It clears his head. Makes him feel as though he’s regaining some semblance of control and allows the sharpness of hurt to recede into a dull ache.

After an hour and a half of shooting, Kei sits down on the bench and stares up at the sky, sucking in deep breaths. He closes his eyes gently and relaxes for what feels like the first time in weeks. Because no matter what happened, no matter how horrible the outcome, he no longer has to pretend or hide his feelings. It’s such a heavy weight lifted and eases some of the gut-wrenching ache of the fact that he probably won’t be able to talk to Tetsurou anymore.

Kei has resigned himself to the fact that Tetsurou probably hates him, or, at the very least, will now be incredibly uncomfortable about his mere presence. Kei has resigned himself to the fact that their friendship will be eternally fractured because of what he did. Kei has resigned himself to the fact that their relationship will likely be merely basketball based, civil and cold. No more casual arm slung over his shoulder or early morning rides to school or teasing video game sessions or frustrating study—

“I thought I might find you here.”

The familiar gravelly voice with that perpetually playful tone resonates through Kei and sends an uncontrolled jolt of warmth through him. His eyes open with surprise and he turns to see Tetsurou standing there, by the bench, a mere few feet from him. The first thing that registers is just how awful he looks, eyes tired and dispirited, hair more unruly than ever and those impossibly broad shoulders hunched in his baggy red sweatshirt.

Concern makes Kei’s mouth fall open to ask ‘are you okay?’ but it immediately closes again because he so clearly isn’t okay. And it _hurts_. Because it’s Tetsurou. And no matter what, Kei just wants him to be happy. Kei just wants to see him smile.

Dropping his gaze from where he’s simply staring at Tetsurou, completely dumbfounded, Kei looks down at his hoodie and shivers, remembering how cold it is now that he isn’t running around. Focussing on something other than Tetsurou seems like a good idea, so Kei turns away to pull the soft material over his head.

“Can I—Can I talk to you…?” Tetsurou asks hesitantly. Kei’s never heard him so uncertain before.

Sucking in a deep breath Kei forces himself to turn back to him, but refuses to look up, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie. “I can’t imagine I’d want to hear what you have to say.”

“That’s fair,” Tetsurou responds, sounding forfeit. “But I need to at least apologise before you leave because, at the very least, you deserve an apology.”

Kei’s gaze snaps up at the sincerity of his words. Tetsurou looks so vulnerable and small and Kei clenches his jaw closed and tenses his body to fight back the need to comfort him.

“I’m so sorry, Kei,” Tetsurou starts, his voice filled with so much despair it breaks. He takes a step towards Kei, hands twisting where they’re shoved deep in his pockets. “I never wanted to hurt you. Which sounds,” he laughs humourlessly, “stupid. I was confused and terrified—but that’s no excuse. I never should have said that to you, not you, not after—just, _never_. You don’t deserve it, Kei. You deserve to be treated so much better. And I’m so incredibly sorry.”

A pained expression contorts Tetsurou’s strong features and he bows his head, taking another step forward. Kei feels dazed, sucking in a quick, stuttering breath of oxygen to alleviate the prompting pain in his lungs. He expected an apology. Tetsurou is a good person, unshakably kind despite the reactive, emotional words he’d shouted at Kei. But he never expected the sharp, raw hurt in his voice. He never expected this… He never expected Tetsurou’s pain to hurt more than anything, more than even the rejection.

“I understand if—if you never forgive me, I understand. But I needed to tell you— _You_ need to know that you don’t deserve to be treated that way,” Tetsurou says, shaking his head slowly and gazing back up at Kei. His voice is quiet now as he’s standing so close that Kei can see the redness of his eyes and sheer anguish in his expression. “Not by anyone. Especially not by people who care about you.”

Kei has no idea what to say. He feels like he’s falling apart all over again, for Tetsurou, and all he wants to do is hold him and tell him everything will be okay. All he wants to do is look after him.

“Tetsurou,” Kei breathes, barely more than a whisper. Dark amber eyes flicker up to meet his gaze and Kei swallows hard. “I forgive you.”

Tetsurou lets out a shuddering breath, his eyebrows knitting together in disbelief and eyes searching Kei’s face. “What?” he asks, truly not expecting to be forgiven.

Worried about what he’ll do with Tetsurou standing so close, so vulnerable, Kei ducks his head and shrugs idiotically. “I already forgave you. I know you didn’t mean it. But—thank you.”

Silence falls between them and Kei’s about to look up to make sure Tetsurou’s okay when he takes another scuffing step forward and his head slumps down against Kei’s shoulder. Kei tenses at the sudden closeness and inhales sharply. Thick, black hair tickles his cheek as strong arms wind around his waist. And now Kei truly has no clue what to do because Tetsurou is just… everywhere.

“Shit, Kei, I’m so sorry,” Tetsurou murmurs, sounding so relieved his words come out frantically. “I’m such an asshole, I fucked up so bad. I swear I will never do that again. I can’t believe that you—fuck, thank you, Kei. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t forgive me.”

Tetsurou trembles and Kei’s arms naturally move to hold him, fingers tentatively smoothing around his sides and clutching at the back of his sweatshirt.

He’s glad Tetsurou apologised but Kei can’t help but feel apprehensive. As much as he wants to remain friends with Tetsurou, he’s worried about having to control his feelings while being around him. Even though Tetsurou seems to at least tolerate Kei’s feelings, it will be even more difficult to hide them now that he knows. It will be awkward. How can they ever be comfortable with each other?

Relaxing against Kei, Tetsurou lets out a huff, lifts his head and steps back, but not far. He’s smiling now, and already he looks more like his usual laid-back, happy self; though there is a nervous tightness at the edges.

“Are you okay?” Tetsurou asks, frowning as he takes in Kei’s expression. “I mean, you’re allowed not to be. I was really hurtful and you can still be mad at me, for as long as you need, whatever you need.”

“No, I—I’m okay. Surprised, but okay,” Kei says truthfully, but awkwardly ducks his head because he needs to ask. “I just… You’re okay with—I mean you don’t mind that I…?”

He really doesn’t want to have to say it, so he glances up at Tetsurou beseechingly. Tetsurou’s frown deepens as he watches Kei and then clears with realisation, his nose scrunching with discomfort.

“Oh…”

Kei’s stomach sinks and an embarrassed flush flares up his neck. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter,” he says, brushing past Tetsurou.

“Wait, Kei,” Tetsurou says firmly, his hand catching Kei’s elbow and turning him back to face him. “I didn’t want to do this now, today. I just wanted to apologise and make sure you’re okay, hoping, at best, that _we’re_ okay. We are, aren’t we? I mean, I understand if—”

“Tetsurou,” Kei warns from between his teeth.

“Right, um, okay.” He takes a deep breath and meets Kei’s gaze determinedly. “I like you, Kei.”

Kei’s eyes widen and he takes a step backwards, reeling. He feels like someone has punched him in the gut… or has poured a bucket of ice over him… or like he’s so numb and disoriented that he’s going to float away. But Tetsurou’s strong fingers grip his elbow, grounding him.

“What?” Kei barely says.

Tetsurou smiles, warm and beautiful and affectionate. “Yeah, I really like you, Kei. I’m clearly the biggest idiot in the entire world because apparently I developed feelings for you without even realising. I mean, who does that? But, I’m happiest when I’m with you; playing basketball or studying or just talking shit. I think you’re amazing and clever and funny and—fuck, really attractive, like beautiful. Which is… something I just said. Wow, I’ve never been this nervous before,” he admits and huffs an awkward laugh.

“You like me…” Kei says slowly, extremely confused.

“Yes… That was the first thing I said.” Tetsurou grins, amused. Despite his blinding panic, Kei can’t help but feel relieved to see that stupid grin. “I really hope you heard the rest.”

“But—you can’t—you’re straight.”

“Apparently not so much. Bisexual, technically. But I don’t really care about that because the only person I want is you.”

Kei groans and pushes his fingers under his glasses to rub at his eyes. “This cannot be happening.”

“Sorry, I know it’s a lot, all at once. I really wanted to give you time before—”

Kei surges forward and embraces Tetsurou, forcefully enough to make him grunt and stop him talking. Which is good, because the words are deeply confusing and making his head spin. Tetsurou is speaking the truth, far too much of it, it’s clear in his warm amber eyes and the casual sincerity of his voice. But Kei has no idea how to feel about it. He’s happy and annoyed and furious and relieved all at once.

“Shut up,” Kei mumbles.

Tetsurou only chuckles and buries his face against Kei’s neck.

Even though new anxieties and reservations flicker through his mind, Kei feels inexplicably light and comfortable. Despite the cold, the heat that Tetsurou’s body naturally radiates seeps into him and warms through his entire body. And, oh how well they fit together. Being the same height – roughly – Kei had thought that might make it awkward, but it’s not, it’s so very easy. It feels right.

The small, hopeful parts of himself that he had quashed and ignored relentlessly are even surprised. Tetsurou _likes_ him. _Tetsurou_ likes him. It feels implausible, dream-like, but this is real. Tetsurou is here, holding him, telling him how amazing he is, how much he cares, expressing how sorry he is, immensely hurt on Kei’s behalf and earnestly laying himself bare before Kei, selflessly giving Kei all the power without a second thought.

“I’m going to murder you,” Kei remarks, completely lacking any bite.

“Seems to be the general consensus,” Tetsurou murmurs against his skin. “You’ll have to get in line. I’m at the front.”

“Wouldn’t be murder then,” Kei says distractedly as Tetsurou straightens to regard him with a smile.

He’s sure Tetsurou responds, knows he does by the movement of his lips, but can’t hear the words through the delighted haze of just how close Tetsurou is. Mesmerized by how, despite looking exhausted, Tetsurou’s amber eyes seem brighter as he gazes into Kei’s and then, with a flutter of dark lashes, slowly move down to Kei’s mouth. Kei’s stomach muscles tightens in anticipation but neither of them move.

A blustering cold wind rushes around them, chilling up Kei’s sweat-cold back and causes him to shiver violently. The nerves in Tetsurou’s strong jaw tense and he steps away.

“Come on, you probably shouldn’t be out in the cold. Especially since I  _know_ you didn’t do any stretches or a warm down,” Tetsurou says, smirking.

Kei swallows back his disappointment and forces an eye-roll. “Were you born a forty-year old father?”

Tetsurou laughs, free and easy, the sound making Kei tingle with the knowledge that he triggered it. Without a word, Tetsurou holds out an expecting hand and Kei barely resists the instinctive urge to simply take it. He needs to ask, he needs to know for sure.

“Tetsurou, are you sure this is what you want? To be my—to be with me?”

“More than I’ve ever wanted anything, Kei.”

Chest tightening around his rabbiting heart, Kei unclenches his fist and reaches for Tetsurou’s hand, lacing their long fingers together and almost melting with the warmth as Tetsurou squeezes comfortingly.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Amazing art](http://zerononikudraws.tumblr.com/post/154204308759/a-small-fanart-on-the-fic-here-to-play-for-you) by [Zeron](http://zerononiku.tumblr.com/) <3


	16. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to apologise for not responding to any comments from the last chapter; but hopefully this fluffy and smutty chapter of happy boys will make up for it! Thank you for all the lovely comments as always. I promise I read them all and they made me a very happy writer indeed. I’ve been writing this fic for a whole year and I’m so happy with where it is and where it’s going and your response to it; I’m still eagerly writing chapter after chapter and hope you’re all enjoying the journey.
> 
> Beta'd by the amazing [Bec](http://midnightmooncatcher.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> **Warning: Sexual content.**

The long, pale fingers laced perfectly between his own seem uncertain and Tetsurou can’t really blame Kei. Tetsurou has at least had the night to come to terms with how he feels, but for Kei this is all startlingly brand new. All Tetsurou can do is be here and reassure him that it’s real, that what he feels is real. Tetsurou will do anything to make sure Kei is comfortable and happy.

Kei’s quiet as they make their way back to his house and Tetsurou gives him the time to reflect. Kei had seemed completely baffled, convinced that Tetsurou would never reciprocate his feelings, and then tremendously relieved when he realised Tetsurou was telling the truth.

Tetsurou had recognised the familiar hint of self-deprecating disbelief that Kei would deserve Tetsurou. But of course Kei deserves the world. Kei deserves to be cared for and adored and looked after. Kei deserves to be happy and if Tetsurou can make Kei happy he’ll do exactly that. Kei deserves friends who make him laugh and provide comfort. Kei deserves family who love him and protect him—

Tetsurou stops so suddenly that Kei is jerked to a halt by his arm and frowns back at him with concern.

“Tetsu?”

“Oh no… Oh _shit_.” He gazes up at Kei with wide-eyed panic. “I’m so dead.”

Kei clicks his tongue. “I wasn’t actually planning on killing you, would kind of defeat the purpose,” he assures, squeezing Tetsurou’s hand to remind him of ‘the purpose,’ their new relationship.

“No. Aki! You told him, of course you did,” Tetsurou says without accusation, stating simple fact, and Kei winces with realisation. “Oh God, he’s going to hate me. He hates me, doesn’t he?”

“He doesn’t hate you, Tetsurou,” Kei huffs, exasperation winning out in all uncertain situations. “You’re acting like this is worse than confronting me for forgiveness.”

“Trust me, I’m not. You should have seen me last night,” Tetsurou says with a rueful laugh but immediately stops as an exceedingly sad expression crosses Kei’s beautiful face, an expression that makes Tetsurou’s heart hurt. “Sorry.”

Kei’s eyes flicker down to Tetsurou’s injured hand, but he merely shakes his head and says, “It’s okay.”

“Okay. Okay! I can do this,” Tetsurou says, inhaling a deep, bracing breath and continuing towards Kei’s house.

“You know you don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to,” Kei says, watching him worriedly.

“No, I really have to. Akiteru is my friend and I have to fix this. Even if he wasn’t, he’s the most important person in your life. And, whether or not you admit it, his opinion is important to you and therefore important to me.”

Silence falls between them but the firm pressure of Kei’s hand strengthens Tetsurou’s resolve. He never expected to get this far today. He never expected Kei to forgive him and he certainly never expected Kei to accept his feelings, even if they reflect his own. But in doing so, Kei has given him confidence to right his wrongs.

Still, the walk up the path to the Tsukishima house has never felt so short. Suddenly they’re at the door and Tetsurou’s heart is hammering in his chest. Tetsurou is well-versed in angry Kei, but an angry Akiteru is an unknown entity and Tetsurou could have very happily lived his life without knowing. But he has to.

Kei waits with uncharacteristic patience, giving Tetsurou time to knock on the door himself, even though Kei definitely has his key. His knuckles wrap against the door ever so loudly, the sound making Tetsurou wince. There are footsteps from within and then the door opens.

Clearly Akiteru doesn’t expect Kei and he especially doesn’t expect Tetsurou. His expression initially friendly and curious shifts to confusion and, upon seeing Tetsurou, his gold eyes narrow with disdain which softens upon seeing their linked hands. When his eyes move back up to Tetsurou’s face, he’s annoyed. Then, he simply walks away, leaving Tetsurou gaping after him, and he has absolutely no idea how to proceed.

“Your brother doesn’t own a gun, does he?” Tetsurou asks, eyes darting warily.

“Fairly certain he’s a pacifist,” Kei comments with a hint of amusement.

Tetsurou tentatively enters the house and follows Akiteru into the kitchen where he stands waiting with his arms folded over his chest. He’s an intimidating figure without his usual good-natured, relaxed expression and carefree smile. God help anyone who crosses the Tsukishima brothers; despite their fair, golden attraction they’re actually fairly terrifying. Tetsurou himself feels like praying for help and both of them actually _like_ him. Or, Akiteru certainly used to, he’s not so sure anymore.

“You might want to start,” Kei whispers to Tetsurou into the awkward silence.

“Er, right,” he mumbles and swallows hard, palms sweaty. If he managed to apologise to Kei, and somehow, magically, end up in a relationship with him, Tetsurou can certainly do this. The pressure is immense though. “Okay, Aki, I’m so, extremely sorry. I never meant to hurt Kei, I would never purposely hurt him. I fucked up and made a huge mistake. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I care about Kei, I care about him so freaking much.”

“You apologised to Kei?” Akiteru questions, voice low and stern.

“Of course. I should never have treated him like that. He deserves so much better.”

Akiteru nods and narrows his eyes on their joined hands. “And you—you feel the same way about Kei?”

“Yeah, it just… It took me a while to—to realise.”

“And you’re together?”

“I hope so…” Tetsurou says, glancing back at Kei for confirmation.

Kei nods and adjusts his grip in Tetsurou’s sweaty hand. “Yes.”

Heaving a heavy sigh, Akiteru closes his eyes for a moment and when they open again they’re burning with protectiveness. “You will _never_ use that word again, or so help me Tetsurou, you will never step another foot in this house.”

“Already removed from my vocabulary,” Tetsurou confirms earnestly. “I promise. I will do anything to fix this. I will jump any amount hoops you want.”

Akiteru huffs and shakes his head. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Would be amusing though,” Kei comments under his breath.

“I’m trusting you Tetsu,” Akiteru continues, his expression as serious as his tone. “I’m trusting you to never hurt him again and to protect him.”

Kei clicks his tongue and while Tetsurou can’t see his face, is fairly sure he just rolled his eyes.

“Of course, I would do anything to protect him,” Tetsurou responds.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Letting out a deep breath, Akiteru relaxes his stance and already seems so much more like himself. Still a little on edge, Tetsurou tenses as Akiteru approaches him quickly, but merely pulls him into an extremely surprising hug. Kei huffs a laugh behind him and lets his hand go. Tetsurou returns the hug a little hesitantly.

“Well, now that’s sorted and while… _this_ happens, I’m going to have a quick shower,” Kei declares and leaves.

When Akiteru finally pulls back his hands remain on Tetsurou’s shoulders and he looks gravely concerned. “Are you okay, Tetsu?” he asks.

“Um, a little surprised maybe,” Tetsurou mumbles, frowning in confusion.

Akiteru chuckles. “I’m not mad at you. I forgive you, Tetsu. I mean, I _was_ mad, but we all do stupid things, especially when we’re scared. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You’re only young and after going through it with Kei, I understand how difficult and confusing these changes can be.”

“Oh…” he breathes, waves of relief crashing over him and utterly, unspeakably touched by Akiteru’s concern. “No, I’m oddly comfortable with my sexuality, actually. Because of Kei. It’s not so much a revelation of ‘I’m attracted to boys _and_ girls’, so much as ‘I really like Kei’. More than anything I’m just annoyed at myself that it took so long to realise.”

A warm smile brightens Akiteru’s face. “I’m glad to hear you’re okay with it. If you need to talk about anything or need any help telling your parents or anything just let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, Aki—shit, you’re going to make me cry,” Tetsurou says, pulling Akiteru into another hug.

“That’s okay, Tetsu. I’ve known for quite a while that Kei’s liked you and he doesn’t trust people easily, he doesn’t let just anyone in. You’re special and important to Kei and even if I didn’t know, first hand, what a good guy you are, that would be enough to convince me that you’re trustworthy.”

Tetsurou, who usually has a response for everything, has absolutely no idea how to respond. The Tsukishima brothers are truly trying to kill him, just with unbelievable kindness and understanding that is on the verge of leaving him a pathetic mess on the floor. Lacking a response, Tetsurou simply stands there and hugs him. Too grateful for words.

“Okay, before _you_ make _me_ cry, I better go finish some work for tomorrow,” Akiteru says, rubbing his hands over his eyes that are glassy with emotion. He walks over to his bedroom door as Kei exits the bathroom, a plume of steam following him. “And please both of you be _safe_. No sex while I’m here… preferably not here at all.”

“Great, so just at Tetsurou’s then,” Kei comments indifferently as he passes in nothing but a towel.

Tetsurou’s eyes widen and he feels his face heat with embarrassment. He’s ready to placate Akiteru with an adamant shake of his head but Akiteru merely laughs and closes his bedroom door behind him. Yep, definitely trying to kill him.

Even though Kei’s door has been left open invitingly, Tetsurou waits a whole five minutes before he approaches, giving Kei more than enough time to get dressed. They get changed in front of each other all the time in the locker-rooms, Tetsurou has even been in Kei’s bedroom when he’s changed before, but it feels different now. The thought of just the two of them in there, while Kei is any form of naked, makes his skin tingle in a completely wonderful but, as of yet, inappropriate way.

Tentatively, Tetsurou pokes his head into the doorway to find Kei sitting on his bed pulling thick, black socks on. He’s dressed in more soft, warm sweats with the same hoodie, rugged up because it’s not exactly warm in their house. Without reservation, Tetsurou kicks his shoes off, climbs up onto the double bed and sits himself down next to Kei, leaning back against the pillows.

Kei’s hair is deep gold with dampness at the ends and curling into his neck and forehead softly, Tetsurou’s fingers twitch with a need to touch. Technically, he probably can, Kei might let him, but less than a few hours ago he had been certain Kei hated him. So it’s probably a little too soon for too much touching.

“Aki didn’t lecture you did he?” Kei asks quietly, standing up to close the door before sitting back down next to Tetsurou.

“No, he—he’s oddly supportive, considering.”

“‘Considering’, you’re ridiculously dramatic, Tetsu.”

“And you’re ridiculously resilient,” Tetsurou says, turning a small, sad smile to Kei. “I hurt you. That’s a very big consideration. I really mean it though, I’ll do anything to make you feel comfortable and safe with me, Kei.”

Finished with his socks, Kei leans back and narrows his eyes at Tetsurou. “You’re an asshole. You’re not supposed to be all supplicating and apologetic. You’re supposed to get all defensive and not talk to me for days and weeks like a normal teenager. You’re supposed to give me time to be annoyed at you, time that only makes it worse and makes me more and more upset. Instead, here you are, being far too kind and repentant and mature for me to even consider being annoyed at you.”

Tetsurou grins. “Now who’s being dramatic?”

“You must be rubbing off on me,” Kei mumbles, eyes dropping and stopping himself from smiling by biting his lip.

“So you actually… like me, right?”

“What, my screamed, upset confession wasn’t enough,” Kei says sarcastically, it’s not a question. Tetsurou remains quiet, watching him fiddle with the hem of his hoodie. “I really do like you, Tetsurou. I think I have for—since the beginning.”

Tetsurou’s chest feels tight, his heart swelling at the softly spoken admission. He reaches out and takes Kei’s hand, entwining their fingers in a way that already feels natural and easy. Ever has he envied those elegant hands, with long pale fingers so strong and deft; now he can touch them, hold them between his own, massage and look after them.

“I should have just told you,” Kei murmurs. Tetsurou looks up from where he’s gazing delightedly at their interlocked fingers.

“You could have, you know?” he responds slowly, carefully. “I mean, even if I didn’t feel the same way, you could have. I wouldn’t have been angry or anything. It’s something I’ve had to consider before. With Kou; but the day his eyes landed on Keiji I knew that wasn’t going to be a problem. And then with you. I would have been okay with it, worked through it.”

“Not with Kenma?”

Tetsurou scrunches up his face as his stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought. “My little brother? _Bleugh_ —gross!”

Kei rolls his eyes. “He’s not actually related to you. But I see your point.”

“Anyway, please don’t dwell on what should or shouldn’t have happened, especially you, Kei. You did nothing wrong. I, however, did a lot of things I shouldn’t have—” Tetsurou grimaces as thoughts of Ana violate his warm, happy bubble. He closes his eyes shut tight and inhales deeply. “I—um—there’s something I have to tell you. If it’s too much for one day I understand, I will be sure to tell you later. It’s nothing overly horrible. I just… don’t like secrets.”

The last sentence comes out quietly under the intense scrutiny of Kei’s gaze and he clicks his tongue in annoyance. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, Tetsu. I’m not some fragile flower. I’m not going to break and I’m… I’m not going anywhere,” he says resolutely, giving Tetsurou’s hand an affirming squeeze.

Tetsurou’s unable to stop himself smiling at that and then he grimaces again. “Okay—um, fuck,” he mutters, shoving the fingers of his free hand through his hair in frustration. “Just let me get to the end before—you know—”

“Not going anywhere.”

“Right. The night you kissed me, I was… I don’t even know. A mess. A confused mess who makes terrible decisions. I went over to Ana’s—”

Kei stiffens.

“Nothing happened!” he reassures immediately and continuing quickly. “We were in my car, she kissed me, she was all over me. But all I could think about was you. Which… sounds…” Tetsurou sighs, not even sure how to finish that sentence. “Just—all I could think about was you and wishing it was you. So I told Ana to stop, she was… persistent, but eventually she got out of the car and I went home and…”

Feeling his face heat with the memory of touching himself thinking about Kei, Kei’s mouth, Kei blowing him, Tetsurou ducks his head.

“And?” Kei prompts, his eyebrows raised.

“I jerked off thinking about you,” Tetsurou mumbles under his breath, hoping Kei won’t hear him. Which is dumb considering how quiet it is and how close they are. Feeling increasingly uncomfortable in the silence, Tetsurou glances up to see Kei hiding a smile behind his hand and finally a snicker escapes. “You’re laughing at me?”

Kei shakes his head, collecting himself. “No. Sorry. It’s been… an interesting weekend.”

Tetsurou sighs deeply and rests his head back against the wall. “That’s one word for it. Another is ‘exhausting.’ Let’s not fight again, Tsukki. I hate it. All I wanted to do was go to you, to talk to you… Ironic, I guess.”

Kei hums in agreement and comfortable silence falls between them. They’ve always had comfortable silences, even though Tetsurou likes to ramble and draw as many interesting expressions and reactions from Kei as possible and even though he loves listening to the calm tone of Kei’s voice. In fact, the more time he spends with Kei after the revelation of how much he likes him, Tetsurou is finding more and more things that he adores about Kei. Things he always adored but only now has the feelings to understand why.

Cold fingers carefully probe the back of Tetsurou’s hand, sliding gently across his knuckles. Tilting his head, Tetsurou watches guilt crease Kei’s face as he inspects his injured hand. He’s about to say something when amusement curls Kei’s mouth.

“You didn’t hit Ana did you?” Kei questions, the expression on his face an intriguing combination of hopeful and worried.

Tetsurou snorts a laugh but shakes his head. “No. Closet door. And it’s not your fault either,” he adds. “I was angry at myself for how I treated you. It was stupid…”

“Don’t do it again, Tetsu.”

He nods solemnly. He certainly won’t, he was lucky, _this_ time. “Yes, boss,” Tetsurou says, grin spreading wide. Kei watches him in that intense way that makes Tetsurou’s muscles tense with nervous energy and his heart-rate speed up expectantly.

Kei’s eyes flicker down to Tetsurou’s mouth and his breath catches in his throat. As much as he wants to he can’t move; he doesn’t want to push Kei, not today, not so soon. Everything inside him is screaming at him to move forward, to kiss Kei and fix the mess he made of their first kiss. Which, in hindsight, had been soft and sweet and amazing despite the shock.

The bed moves and Tetsurou blinks to find Kei much closer, his enchanting golden eyes searching. It’s a question, seeking permission. The answer is irrefutably, yes. Tetsurou leans in slowly, his mouth falling open as his gaze drops to the irresistible curve of Kei’s bottom lip. Too focused on each other’s mouths, their noses bump and Tetsurou smiles as he tilts his head to fix the angle.

Their lips barely brush and it sends an affecting jolt of delicious heat down his spine, his heart stuttering in his chest. It’s incredible, just this and Tetsurou feels like he’s floating, his skin tingling and mind so completely focussed on Kei. Tetsurou closes his eyes as Kei gives in, pressing a languid kiss to his lips. There are no fireworks or sparks, but Tetsurou feels like he’s melting; the tender, lingering kiss a level of blissful comfort he’d never even imagined could exist.

A bone-deep warmth of relief floods him, and Tetsurou just _knows_ ; this is exactly where he’s supposed to be.

Kei parts his lips, to place another soft kiss, and another, before moving back unhurriedly, hot breath ghosting Tetsurou’s skin. Tetsurou opens his eyes to find Kei staring at his mouth, his teeth biting wistfully into his bottom lip before his gaze flickers up to meet Tetsurou’s. A slow, tentative smile stretches Kei’s lips and Tetsurou grins unreservedly in return.

There is a loud knock at the door.

“Are you making out?” Akiteru asks through the door.

Kei clicks his tongue. “He’s going to do this every time now,” he mutters to Tetsurou before turning away and calling out, “Come in.”

The door opens to reveal Akiteru, who is covering his eyes. Tetsurou chuckles and Kei sighs.

“You didn’t answer the question,” Akiteru says innocently.

“No, we aren’t making out.”

“Oh good,” Akiteru says, lowering his hand and smiling brightly, clearly enjoying annoying his little brother. “Lunch anyone? I’m starving.”

Tetsurou glances down at his watch. 12:32pm. “Shit, I have to go.”

“Sunday roast,” Kei predicts. Tetsurou glances up, eyebrows raised in surprise that he remembers; it probably shouldn’t be a surprise but it feels nice. “Tetsu has a big fancy Sunday roast lunch with his parents to catch up with each other because they’re all so busy,” he continues to explain to Akiteru.

Tetsurou scrambles up from the bed and pulls his sneakers on. At Kei’s words realisation hits him; this is the best chance he’s going to have to tell his parents. His stomach starts to tie itself in nervous knots as he straightens and Tetsurou freezes, staring at the ground.

“I should… I’m going to have to tell them,” he murmurs to himself. But of course they both hear.

“Are you sure you don’t need my help?” Akiteru offers immediately.

“No, I’m… I think I’ll be okay. I’ve never heard either of them say anything negative about sexuality and I’ve always been really close with mom,” Tetsurou explains. He doesn’t have to be facing Kei to know the pained expression lining his face.

“I’m going with you,” Kei says, his voice doesn’t waver but there is a stiffness in it. Akiteru winces, worried gaze flickering to his brother.

Tetsurou turns back to him and shakes his head adamantly. “No, Kei. No,” he says firmly. Not matter how strong Kei is, this is one thing Tetsurou will protect him from. Even if he thinks it will be okay. Even if Kei complains. Tetsurou refuses to put him through this. He takes Kei’s hand. “It’ll be fine, Kei. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Kei purses his lips and sets his jaw, his chest rising and falling more quickly. Tetsurou can almost see the internal conflict. Lowering his gaze, Kei nods. Without a word he pulls Tetsurou out of his room and towards the front door.

“Eager to get rid of me,” Tetsurou jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood.

The door is pulled open and Tetsurou is on his way out of it when Kei pulls him back into a fierce embrace. He holds Tetsurou tightly, close, his fingers gripping into his hoodie and in the back of his thick, black hair. Tetsurou’s surprise morphs quickly to affection, returning the hug just as firmly.

“If anything happens come back here,” Kei says sternly.

“I will.”

“And call me as soon as it’s done.”

“Okay.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Kei steps back. When Tetsurou meets his gaze he feels like he can’t breathe. There is so much fear and concern in his beautiful golden eyes that Tetsurou feels his heart clench, overwhelmed with the need to protect Kei. Overwhelmed with gratitude that this amazing boy cares about him. Overwhelmed with happiness that this breath-taking boy is in his life, so wonderfully unguarded and trusting, just for Tetsurou.

“Thank you, Kei,” Tetsurou whispers before backing out the door. He smiles brightly at Kei, at his boyfriend. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou has been standing before his front door for the last five minutes, in which he has gone through ten different scenarios of how his ‘coming out’ will go. Everything from accepting hugs to objects being thrown. Oh how he hopes objects will not be thrown.

Nervousness and fear doesn’t make Tetsurou reserved and sombre as it does most people. Instead, it makes him jittery and skittish. His thoughts process a million a minute – as opposed to the usual thousand – and he fidgets; clenching and unclenching hands, jostling his leg and his hair has never, ever been this messy from all the times he’s pushed his fingers through it this weekend.

As much as he doubts his parents will be disapproving, Tetsurou is extremely nervous. There is always that niggling thought in the back of his mind asking ‘What if they hate me?’ And of course his mind always goes back to Kei, how his parents had betrayed him. Kei hadn’t thought his parents capable of that either.

On that demoralising note, Tetsurou heaves a deep breath and unlocks the door. As he walks in and shucks his shoes off at the door, he can hear his mother moving around the kitchen, pots clanking and cutlery clinking.

His mother looks up as he enters the kitchen, offering her usual bright smile.

“Hi honey, everything all right?” Maiko asks, straightening from the dishwasher. “You left in a hurry this morning, said something about fixing something?”

“Um, yeah, all fixed, mom,” he answers distractedly. Despite all the time he spent planning he’s floundering for a way to start.

She narrows her eyes on him, dark eyes filled with concern, and comes around the counter to smooth his hair down. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“When’s lunch ready?” he asks, stalling.

“Hmm, probably thirty or so minutes. You’re father and I had a later breakfast so I got started a bit later than usual. Have you eaten today?”

Tetsurou shakes his head, no.

“That’s not like you… Tetsu, honey, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong?”

He closes his eyes, savouring the feel of her hand in his hair while he still can. Heaving a steeling breath, Tetsurou meets her gaze levelly. “I need to talk to you and dad. Do you—Do you have time now?”

“Of course,” she says, smiling warmly. “Sit down and I’ll go get your father.”

Tetsurou obediently takes his usual seat at the breakfast table as Maiko leaves the room. Tetsurou clutches his hands together in his lap, closing his eyes and imagining it’s Kei’s hand he’s holding. He forces himself not to think about what he’s doing or what he’s going to say. He thinks about Kei; playing basketball with Kei, watching movies with Kei, holding Kei, cuddling up to Kei.

It’s been a long, emotionally exhausting day, but he needs to do this. To be with Kei he needs to do this. No matter the outcome, nothing will keep him from Kei.

“Tetsu?” He looks up from his hands to see his parents sitting in their usual places, watching him expectantly, concerned. “You wanted to talk to us, son?” Takeru asks.

“Um, yeah. I’ve had a difficult weekend—” he snorts a self-depreciating laugh, “so, I’m just going to say it. I am—er—I’m bisexual. That is, I’m attracted to boys and girls. N-Not that I’m going around hitting on anything that moves, or anything. Just, um, one boy. Who—Who made me realise that I’m attracted to both. B-But just him. For now. Or, ever, I hope…” Tetsurou verifies, glancing between his parents, his hands trembling and heart racing as he waits for a reaction.

They’re both staring at him, frowning, possibly because of his rambling more than anything. At least, he hopes that’s why. Takeru turns his gaze to Maiko. His father has never been the most emotionally connected person, so Tetsurou turns to her also. Her puzzled expression softens and Maiko smiles brightly at Tetsurou, a knowing twinkle in her eye.

“Is it Kei?” she asks hopefully.

Tetsurou’s eyes widen and his jaw drops open. He tries to speak but no words come out, his jaw clicking shut. He glances at his father but merely finds the same curious expression. This is _not_ one of the ten expected reaction scenarios; he has absolutely no idea how to react to this.

“I—What?” Tetsurou finally gets out, the carpet pulled from underneath him for the umpteenth time this weekend. He should really stop having expectations all together at this point. “H-How? _What?_ ”

“Of course we don’t mind about your sexual orientation, honey. If a boy makes you happy then we’re happy for you,” Maiko says simply and turns to his father, her sincere expression never faltering. “Right Takeru?”

Takeru nods sternly, his brow creased as if wondering why this is even a question. “Tetsurou, you are by far the most responsible and self-sufficient young man I could have ever had the honour of calling my son. We only ever want the best for you. We only ever want you to do what makes you happy.”

Tetsurou swallows hard against the lump in his throat. Takeru said it matter-of-factly and there is no doubt in Tetsurou’s mind that he means every word.

“Thanks dad,” he croaks out.

“Now,” Takeru says, rising from his seat. “I have an important call to make, but we’ll talk about this more at lunch.”

Maiko rises too, but only to walk around Tetsurou’s side of the table to pull him into a hug. It’s awkward with how short she is and how he has to bend down, but Tetsurou never really cares, especially not now. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve all these amazing people in his life who love him unconditionally and forgive him wholeheartedly, but he couldn’t be more appreciative.

“We love you so much, Tetsurou. Never forget that,” she whispers, voice earnest and full of emotion.

Tetsurou feels hot tears prickling in his eyes and he pulls the back of his hand across them, wiping them away before they fall. “I love you too, mom. Thank you.”

Maiko pulls away and settles back, smiling up at him as she carefully wipes at her eyes. “Okay, now, I’m going to make tea and we’re going to talk about Kei.”

He chuckles as she makes her way into the kitchen, turning the kettle on. “Why are you so sure it’s Kei?”

“Oh, honey,” she says with playful condescension. “You never stop talking about him and I tend to agree, Kei seems like a lovely young man. Also I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

“You meet him once and a month ago.”

Maiko’s eyebrows raise. “You only just realised recently? Wait… Is that what you were doing this morning? I do hope you ‘fixed it’ and that means you’re together now. He is your boyfriend, right? Tell me everything, Tetsu. The whole story.”

“You sound like a gossiping teenager,” Tetsurou comments, smiling unreservedly as he leans against the bench and watches her make tea. “I’m not sure I can tell you _everything_ …”

“Why? Does it involve sex?”

“No, mom, Jesus,” he groans, not embarrassed because she’s always been very upfront about sex, but frustrated she would think he would be that kind of guy. Despite the ridiculous rumours at school, intimacy is important to Tetsurou and not something to take lightly. “We literally just got together. There has been no sex of any kind. I really, really like him. In the long-term, going-to-make-this-last kind of way. This is—he’s important.”

She smiles. “I know, honey. I can tell. You know sex with a boy is very different though? You’ll have to do some research and be very careful. If you need to discuss anything, just ask.”

“Yes mom, I know,” he says, blushing this time. Talking to his mother about sex has always been marginally uncomfortable but since it was always an abstract idea it was fine. Talking to his mother about having sex with Kei on the other hand… Thinking about having sex with Kei in general leads to his blood not knowing whether to rush to his face or his groin.

“Okay then, why can’t you tell me?”

“Because I haven’t been the best person or friend recently. I was kind of an asshole to Kei.”

“Did he forgive you?”

Tetsurou nods, glancing down at his hands. “Yeah… He shouldn’t have.”

Maiko sighs. “Tetsurou Kuroo, you’ve always been far too harsh on yourself. Held yourself to impossible standards that you don’t even expect of others. People make mistakes, my love, even you. Whatever you did, whatever the two of you have been through, happiness takes a lot of work and I’ve never known you to shy away from hard work,” she says, handing him his cup of tea. “I’m your mother, if Kei can forgive you then I certainly will. So, tell me.”

Despite the unflattering story he’s about to tell, sure to be accompanied by sighs and scolding, Tetsurou feels a sense of relief and contentment wash over him. His parents accept him, love him, support him and his mother will forgive him.

“Okay, fine. But we need to be sitting for this.”

 **[12:54] me**  
all good tsukki, they took it really well, ill call u later, mom wants to talk abt “boys”, aka you

 **[12:54] tsukki**  
I’m really glad Tetsu. I look forward to it.

 

* * *

 

The words of the heavy textbook before Kei seem to get smaller and hazier the longer he reads, the more that infuriating tapping sound and that quaking jiggling disrupt his thoughts. Gritting his teeth, Kei attempts to read the paragraph again.

The library at Nekodani is large, filled with any and all texts one could possibly need. It’s a quiet retreat and Kei often spends time here studying. With his last period of the day being a spare, Kei is studying for his Civil War essay due next week. He’s reading about the less renowned battles, the smoke and daggers aspects; ambushes, stolen rations and late-night skirmishes. The devious, immoral parts no one likes to discuss as it lacks ‘honour.’ Although, which part of war is supposed to be honourable, he doesn’t know.

He doesn’t even finish the second sentence before being torn from his quiet study bubble by the obnoxious pen-tapping and jarring foot tapping of the person sitting at the desk across from him. Heaving a patience fuelling sigh, Kei glances up at the bowed blonde-braided head.

“Will you stop that,” he snaps softly. About as patient as he gets. “The tremors are going to make people panic about an earthquake.”

Hitoka colours, her foot and hand immediately stopping. “S-Sorry Kei.”

“Everything will be _fine_. Just focus on studying.”

His words may seem harsh but it’s not the first time he’s had to reassure her, nor the second, nor the third, but the sixth, in the last hour. Hitoka has been jittery and jumpy all day. Generally welcoming her focussed and supportive study companionship, but sometimes she can be a nightmare. Not that it happens often. Today is a special occasion, after all.

Nodding sternly, Hitoka sets her soft features into a determined expression and hunches back over her work. This is not the first time she has endeavoured to concentrate on her work either, so Kei gets back to his warily. He glances up every now and then, watching the tension slowly working its back into her shoulders and her hand start to twitch.

Not five minutes after the warning her pen is tapping loudly against her book again.

Kei is about to snap at her again when he hears someone approach and a warm hand touches his shoulder briefly before the person slumps down in the chair next to his. All too familiar with the warm presence and the pleasant tingle at the touch, Kei glances up to see the gorgeous, grinning face of Tetsurou. Despite knowing who it was and that he would be here, Kei’s heart flutters at the sight of him.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. Jamieson wanted to discuss the freakin’ Bio project, _again_ ,” Tetsurou says, drawing books out of his bag before putting it on the ground and settling himself in his chair. Kei’s grip on his pen tightens as Tetsurou pulls his chair as close as he can and pushes the length of his thigh against Kei’s. He smiles at Kei before glancing at Hitoka and frowning. “Yo, Sparkles, what’s up? You’re eyes are all boggle-y and… Are you sweating?”

“I-I’m okay. Just a little—um—you know—”

Kei groans and drops his head on the desk with a heavy thud. It hurts, but it’s worth it. Hitoka squeaks at the loud sound and Tetsurou chuckles, playfully jostling Kei’s knee with his own.

“So dramatic, Tsukki,” Tetsurou says, his voice full of affection.

“She’s been like this all fucking day,” Kei complains, lifting his head to glare at Hitoka and Tetsurou in turn. “Apparently I’ve been the one delegated to deal with her, which is a vast overestimation of my patience.”

“Don’t talk about the lovely lady like she’s not here,” Tetsurou admonishes, with levity and barely keeping the grin from his face. Kei senses the activation of dad mode and rolls his eyes.

“You deal with her then, she’s being ridiculous.”

“I shall. Sparkles, my dear, what seems to be the problem?”

“I—well—I’m just concerned. Wh-What if Tadashi doesn’t like the party? I mean, he’s not exactly the party type. He’s shy and gets nervous around groups of people. Especially if those people are all focussed on him. Oh no… he’s going to hate it. I just know he is,” Hitoka laments, gnawing viciously, subconsciously, on her pen.

“Oh my adorable little friend,” Tetsurou says with playful condescension. “Tadashi is going to love his party, do you know why?”

“Clearly not, she just told you all the reasons he won’t,” Kei mutters, but they both ignore him and Hitoka shakes her head, eyes wide and worried.

“Because _you_ organised it for him. Because you put in the time and effort for him. And remember, I’ve been alongside you the whole time, I know exactly how much work you put into this, Sparkles. Freckles will love it, just like he loves you.”

Hitoka was actually looking calmer until that final statement, in which her eyes bulge and she makes a sound like a strangled bird. “We haven’t—I mean, I don’t think he—I’m not sure that he—”

“Of course he loves you.” Tetsurou shrugs off her uncertainty. “Just because he hasn’t said it yet doesn’t mean he doesn’t. You’ll both say it when you’re ready. And that’s okay.”

The words make Kei hold his breath as he forcibly keeps his head down over his textbook, not daring to glance up for fear of giving himself away. There is no doubt in his mind about how he feels about Tetsurou, but it’s far too early in their relationship for disclosing such things. And, like Tetsurou said, it’s okay to wait until they’re both ready.

Hitoka sighs, seeming to relax if her lack of fidgeting is anything to go by. Thank goodness for Tetsurou, Kei is certainly not competent enough to be dealing with these issues. He can barely handle his own feelings.

“Team Dad strikes again,” Kei mumbles under his breath, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Tetsurou bumps into his shoulder. “I heard that, smartass.”

“Oh God, now you really do sound like a dad, please stop.”

“You can call me ‘daddy’ if you like, Tsukki,” Tetsurou whispers, his breath hot against Kei’s neck and sending an inappropriate shiver down his spine. With a grimace he glares up at a mischievously beaming Tetsurou.

“ _Never_ say that again.”

Tetsurou just grins at him – that stupid, beautifully bright grin Kei desperately wants to kiss off his infuriatingly attractively face – and he can’t stop his own answering smile. Just looking at Tetsurou makes him want to smile. It’s as unnerving as it is wonderful.

A half-smothered giggle draws Kei’s attention reluctantly away from Tetsurou and he turns to see Hitoka smiling knowingly at them.

“You guys are adorable,” Hitoka remarks, her smile so bright it seems like she could pass out with the intensity of it.

Kei bristles, ducking his head back over his work. Tetsurou presses his thigh more firmly against Kei’s, a silent agreement with Hitoka, as well as an affectionate reminder of his presence. As if Kei could forget. As if Kei could suddenly ignore the body naturally radiating warmth beside him. As if Kei could ever stop the keen heat of his longing and desire and affection whenever Tetsurou is near.

“Okay. We should probably get some work done before Tsukki bites our heads off.”

The three of them, probably the most studious of their friends, put their heads down and get their study done without further interruption. Kei was worried about how he and Tetsurou would study together while in a relationship. He shouldn’t have been though, they’re both dedicated to their studies and they fall into their accustomed, cooperative and enjoyable study rhythm with ease.

“After the game Saturday you’re coming home with me, right?” Tetsurou asks Kei as they’re packing up, his voice low with secrecy.

Kei swivels in his chair, his knee coming to rest between Tetsurou’s, where he’s turned to talk to Kei and distracting him momentarily. Because the accidental implication in the question’s phrasing isn’t distracting enough. Swallowing hard, Kei forces himself to look up and nod.

“Great, we’ll have our first-real-date that afternoon and then the dreaded lunch-with-parents the next day. Although, my parents aren’t going to be home until Sunday morning, so at least there is that small reprieve. We’ll have Saturday all to ourselves.”

All of this is said matter-of-factly, innocently. A word Kei never thought he’d associate with Tetsurou. He knows all the insinuations of Tetsurou’s words are unintentional. Firstly, because if they weren’t Tetsurou would be either snickering immaturely or emphasising with a wink. Secondly, because for the first four days they’ve been together, Tetsurou has been avoiding any untoward contact. At least Kei thinks he is. Since their first real kiss on Kei’s bed there has been nothing but careful, subtle touches, surreptitious hand holding and affectionate smiles. They’ve both been busy with school and basketball, but the more days that pass without the heat of Tetsurou’s mouth, the more Kei worries that something’s wrong.

“First date?” Hitoka asks, her button nose scrunched in confusion. “You haven’t had your first date yet?”

Kei glances around at her words, but their preferred study table is fairly secluded and most of the other students have already left. Kei and Tetsurou have agreed to take it slow, especially on the public scale. Their closest friends and families know, but that’s all.

“We only got together Sunday, Sparkles,” Tetsurou defends. “Four days.”

“Oh,” she breathes, looking genuinely confused and then huffing a laugh. “Feels like you two have been together for ages.”

It’s a harmless comment but Kei feels Tetsurou tense beside him and glances over to see his brow furrowed heavily with the unspoken guilt of ‘it should have happened sooner.’ Without a second thought, Kei places his hand on Tetsurou’s knee and squeezes. Tetsurou’s expression softens as soon as he meets Kei’s gaze.

Kei wishes Tetsurou would stop blaming himself. He hates seeing those glimpses of pain and self-loathing in his dark eyes.

“C’mon Sparkles, let’s get this birthday party for your boyfriend set up,” Tetsurou says as they make their way out of the library.

Kei groans at the immediate fretful expression that widens Hitoka’s eyes. “Fuck sakes. Why did you have to bring it up?” he questions irritably.

As they make their way over to the gym, Tetsurou and Hitoka rehash their plans for Tadashi’s party, which is to take place after basketball practice. It’s not quite as intricate and personal as Tadashi’s present for Hitoka, but there has been a lot of work that’s gone into this. For one, asking Keishin for permission; though Kei’s fairly certain that there is little their grumpy Coach would deny her. Hitoka explained that she bought Tadashi a gift as well. And when she refused to reveal the mystery gift, Tetsurou teased her about it being ‘intimate’ until she was bright red and flustered and Kei was certain his boyfriend would be murdered.

Kei is a key part of distracting his Tadashi before the party and Hitoka asks – for the tenth time – if he understands his role. Restraining an eye roll, Kei voices his affirmation with a simple ‘yes’.

Tetsurou remains close by his side as they walk. Kei, of course, refuses to slow his pace and much to his amusement and delight, Tetsurou doesn’t slow either. Which, considering he’s attempting to maintain a conversation with Hitoka, means she’s forced into a hasty scurry to keep up with their long legged gaits.

Tetsurou’s knuckles brush against the back of his hand, making Kei’s heart-rate speed up. He’s uncertain whether Tetsurou does it on purpose, but it successfully wipes the smug expression from Kei’s face and instead of internally snickering, he’s internally reminding himself of why he can’t thread his fingers through Tetsurou’s.

Five minutes before the end of training, Hitoka sends Kei a not-so-subtle look and Tetsurou sends him away with a slap on the ass under the guise of sporting camaraderie. It’s surprising, but welcomed, and settles some of Kei’s no-kissing worry. It does the complete opposite to his heart though and he’s grateful for the training exhausted redness of his face to cover his blush.

“Tadashi, can you come spot me for some weight lifting and bench-presses?” Kei asks casually.

Too smart for his own good, Tadashi frowns. “Your training regime doesn’t have any bench-presses today.”

“It’s new,” Keishin blurts from beside him before Kei can respond. “Need to get some more muscle on those weedy twigs Kei calls arms,” he chuckles excessively to cover his lie, squeezing Kei’s arm awkwardly. Kei frowns exasperatedly and can see Tetsurou face-palm in his periphery.

“Oh, okay!” Tadashi says, swallowing Keishin’s lie whole, and Kei reconsiders the ‘smart’ thought.

Worried as he is for his friend’s blind trust in his mentor, Kei is just grateful he’s successful in getting Tadashi away from the courts and into the quiet weight room. He’s fairly good at improvising, but he’s too tired and grumpy and doesn’t trust his ability to keep the secret after Hitoka’s been driving him crazy all day.

Kei takes the ridiculous amount of weights off the bar, scowling and grumbling at the bulky gorilla of a boy who left them there – really, there can only be one meat-head who can lift that much, Koutarou. Settling the correct weight on the bar, Kei lays back on the bench and looks up into dark eyes surrounded by a sea of freckles.

“So,” Tadashi starts and Kei immediately feels the need to run because nothing good can follow that inquiring tone. “How are things with Tetsu?”

He doesn’t answer until a pleasantly familiar burn heats his muscles after fifteen repetitions. “It’s fine. I told you already—we’re just taking it slow.”

Tadashi hesitates, Kei can hear it in the low intake of breath that signals an aborted statement or question.

When Kei had explained Sunday’s events, the day he and Tetsurou got together, of everyone Tadashi had been the most unsure. Upon Tetsurou apologising to Tadashi himself, however, hearing about it is worlds different from experiencing Tetsurou’s remorse and sincerity and guilt. Still, in the few short days, Tadashi has been questioning and curious.

Kei understands his friend’s worry and appreciates it, but there will be things he and Tetsurou will have to resolve themselves. He supposes discussing it with a third party can’t hurt.

“You don’t seem ‘fine,’” Tadashi mumbles.

“You’re right. I hate the word ‘fine.’ What does it even mean,” Kei grunts, breathing heavily, eyes focussed on the bar. Pushing up and down. “Nothing’s wrong—just—it’s going to take time. Frustrating amounts of time, it seems.”

Tadashi snorts an uncharacteristic laugh. “Neither of you seem like you need ‘time.’ Honestly I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, but now that I _know_ , Tetsu’s, like, drawn to you. He always goes to you and watches you, and I figured it was because you’re important to the team, and basketball has always been the most important thing to him, but not anymore. I think you are, Tsukki. I think you’re the most important thing to Tetsu and I think you have been for a while. And then, of course you’ve been pining for him for weeks and months. I don’t know why either of you would need more time. I mean, Tetsu’s not exactly the hesitant, shy type and you’re—y-you know—not s-scared to have—um… what you want.”

Setting the bar down, Kei straightens slowly and turns to face a brightly blushing Tadashi. Kei raises a single eyebrow and the corner of his mouth twitches with amusement.

“Well then, shall I go have my way with Tetsu now? Shove him against the locker and—”

“Tsukki!” Tadashi admonishes, the colour of his face deepening, if possible. “This is exactly what I mean though. You’re n-not a… a…”

“Prude?”

“R-Right, a prude. You and Koushi were—well, you know—”

“Fooling around.”

“—for quite a while, and you don’t—that stuff doesn’t make you nervous or anything.”

“Tetsurou makes me nervous,” Kei confesses unintentionally, all humour at Tadashi’s stuttering embarrassment fading as his gut twists. He drops his gaze. “He’s new to this Tadashi, he only just accepted that he’s attracted to boys. I don’t want to scare him.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t go straight for the butt,” Tadashi jokes with uncharacteristic boldness. Proving, yet again, that he spends too much time with Tetsurou; the words practically straight from Tetsurou’s mouth, except for the innocent use of ‘butt.’

Kei rolls his eyes and lays back down on the bench. “I don’t want to hear that from you,” he mutters. “Forty more, then we’re done.”

The second set is much harder, so Tadashi is left to a one-sided conversation about training regimes and drills and strategies. It’s nothing new thing between them – or between Kei and any of his more talkative friends – and Tadashi does so easily.

Dawdling in the weights room, making a show of stretching and wiping away sweat, Kei stalls for a few minutes, to give Hitoka the whole ten minutes he promised. Tadashi, trusting and oblivious, doesn’t seem to notice anything thankfully. Even as Kei leads him away from the courts and gym and up to the empty pavilion above the courts. Even when Kei says “I’m sorry,” before opening the door. He doesn’t even seem to understand what’s happening as the loud “Surprise!” deafens them.

Kei clicks his tongue and pulls a stunned, open-mouthed, wide-eyed Tadashi into the room to receive his birthday wishes from the team. Hitoka approaches him, blushing and still looking ridiculously nervous. Her presence seems to bring Tadashi to his senses.

“Do you like it?” she asks anxiously.

“I… Are you kidding?” Tadashi grins brightly down at her. “I love it, thank you!”

Tadashi lifts her into his arms and spins her around, the sappy, affectionate embrace leaving Kei feeling a strange combination of discomfort and wistfulness.

And then he feels it, the warmth and weight of Tetsurou’s gaze. Kei’s eyes are immediately drawn to unruly, black hair and a mischievous, bright smile, a smile of unrestrained happiness and affection that’s reserved for Kei alone. A smile that pulls Kei’s heart up into his throat, threatening to fall from his mouth. A smile that obliterates any sense of worry Kei ever felt about Tetsurou and their relationship. A smile that makes Kei believe that maybe Tetsurou loves him in return.

Kei can only smile back, because with a smile Tetsurou has rendered him incapable of doing anything else.

 

* * *

 

“You can’t be serious.”

“I’m always serious, Kei.”

“Tetsurou, you made the worst joke I have ever heard not two minutes ago.”

He chuckles. “Oh yeah. That was funny.”

Kei clicks his tongue irritably, mostly to stop himself from responding to the absurd statement because it’ll get him nowhere. He picks up a wrapped sandwich – fancy and nutritious, as per Tetsurou’s standards – and fiddles with the zip-lock seal to distract himself from the fact that Tetsurou is making him lunch and they’re going on their first date.

By social dating standards it’s nothing special and incredibly cliché, and he’s fairly certain Tetsurou stole the idea from Koutarou. A simple picnic in the park. Nonetheless it’s special for Kei and will be special no matter what they do. He’s nervous about it, stomach fluttering at inconvenient intervals, reminding him that this is everything he wants and everything he doesn’t want to lose. Because some part of it, of their relationship, still feels fragile, like something that could slip through his fingers at any given moment.

“It’s going to rain,” Kei says, not for the first time, seeking the argument and Tetsurou’s voice to distract his fretful mind.

“The sky is clear and blue,” Tetsurou responds, smiling as he sweeps his arm in the direction of the skylight above the kitchen.

“It’s windy.”

Tetsurou raises his eyebrows in question. “What does that even mean?”

“The forecast said it would rain and wind moves the clouds, so that blue sky you’re relying so heavily on will disappear quickly.”

“Would you prefer to go see a movie and have lunch at a restaurant?” Tetsurou asks, already smiling because he knows the answer and is clearly enjoying this conversation. Kei grimaces at the idea of all the other people and the rigid formality of it. “Exactly,” Tetsurou says, grinning victoriously. “Picnic it is.”

As with anything Tetsurou does, his movements are confident as he prepares food in his own kitchen, weaving from cupboards and draws, slicing fruits and vegetables and meat. He looks comfortable and relaxed, immensely enjoying the creation process. Kei watches with rapt fascination but forces his eyes away when he finds himself biting his lip while desirously staring at Tetsurou’s arms and hands and mouth.

“Okay, all done,” Tetsurou declares as he stashes a container of berries in his backpack along with the sandwiches and water bottles. “Let’s go.”

He smiles at Kei as he shoulders the backpack and makes his way to the front door. Despite the clear blue sky and sunshine, the air is cold. At least Kei thinks it is. Tetsurou, with his natural higher body temperature, probably thinks differently.

Kei shivers as they walk out of the comfortably heated house, doing up his jacket and upturning the collar to protect that back of his neck. He’s about to shove his hands into his pockets when a large hand catches his and envelopes his skin in warmth. Kei frowns, looks down at their hands and then up at Tetsurou.

“What are you doing?” Kei questions slowly, confused.

“I believe it’s called ‘hand holding,’” Tetsurou responds wryly.

“I mean, why? What if someone sees?”

Tetsurou sighs but his grip only tightens on Kei’s hand. “I know we agreed we’d keep this – _us_ – quiet and while that makes sense at school, God knows I don’t want you having to deal with those immature assholes, but I won’t repress _everything_ I feel and want to do any time we step outside. If someone sees… then they see and we’ll deal,” he explains, glancing at Kei nervously. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

It had been Kei’s idea not to flaunt or publicise their relationship, Tetsurou had agreed, but only after making unnecessary assurances that Kei knew he wasn’t ashamed about it. Kei knows Tetsurou well enough to know he doesn’t need to worry about that, but the clarification had been comforting and so completely Tetsurou, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Kei’s not afraid of people or what they’ll say about him. He decided on secrecy to protect Tetsurou, because even if he acts as though the rumours don’t bother him, Kei knows that each one eats away at him and makes him question himself and who he is.

Kei nods and strokes his thumb across Tetsurou’s knuckles. “It’s fine with me, Tetsu. Besides, I need your hand to keep me warm.”

Tetsurou chuckles. “You’re _always_ cold, but I’ll do my best.”

They lapse into an easy conversation about the team and today’s winning game. The way the bracket is playing out, it seems Nekodani have already nudged out the two biggest competition teams in the first two games. There are only two games left to play and the teams they’ll likely face aren’t playing at their level. Based on form, Nohebi seem to have been their only real competition for the Regional Tournament title and the ticket to the State Championship.

“Anything could happen though, Kei. We could match up badly against one of the teams, or choke, or suffer injuries,” Tetsurou says, spreading a blanket on the thick green grass in the park. “We still need to play our best.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” he deadpans as he crosses his long legs underneath him. Tetsurou gives him a playful shove in the shoulder, making Kei lose balance but he gets an arm out before he topples over.

Like the attentive patriarch he is, Tetsurou unpacks the food and organises it carefully between the two of them, ensuring they each get the right nutrients from the meal. Kei quickly retrieves half of his sandwich to hide a fond smile, with the added benefit of preventing any lectures about eating properly. Tetsurou doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes roam the park as he eats and Kei recognises his pensive expression. He doesn’t ask what he’s thinking, knowing Tetsurou will divulge his thoughts when he’s ready.

Instead of staring at the bob of Tetsurou’s throat when he swallows – because that is disconcertingly hypnotising – Kei follows Tetsurou’s gaze around the park. There are three small children playing enthusiastically on a playground in the distance, with beanies and scarves and jackets done up tightly. Their mothers watching fondly from the bench, chatting quietly and smiling. A group of middle-aged men are playing two-on-two basketball on Kei and Tetsurou’s usual court, they’re pretty terrible but they seem to be having fun.

“Did you…?” Tetsurou starts and frowns, seeming to reconsider his question or phrasing. “Have you always been interested in guys?”

The question isn’t entirely unexpected, they’ve never implicitly spoken about Kei’s sexuality. Tetsurou’s unspoken acceptance apparent for as long as he’s seemed to have known about it. His curiosity about it now is understandable, even with what Koushi told him, Tetsurou is the type of person who likes to hear these things directly.

Kei nods slowly. “For as long as I’ve been attracted to anyone, it’s been boys. Didn’t have to really contemplate it or anything, haven’t ever seen girls like that.”

“And Koushi, he was the first boy you were attracted to?”

The wording of the question makes Kei hesitate, his mouth opening and closing without speaking. Tetsurou notices of course, glancing at Kei with inquisitive dark eyes.

Swallowing hard, knowing where this line of questioning is leading, Kei shakes his head and answers anyway. “No. That’s… Daichi was the first…”

Tetsurou’s eyebrows rise in surprise, the corner of his lips twitching. “Really? Daichi? I don’t really see…” he trails off, his eyes and smile broadening dangerously. “Tsukki! Dark hair, dark eyes, solidly built and a leader. Am I your replacement for Daichi? I’m offended!”

Kei rolls his eyes, not worried in the least with Tetsurou’s teasing tone. “You know you’re not, dumbass. Daichi was just—he was just that first silly crush. I didn’t even really know him when I was attracted to him. More than anything it was just embarrassing.”

“Do tell,” Tetsurou encourages excitedly, nudging him in the side.

Heaving a sigh, Kei drops his sandwich, dusting his hands of the crumbs, and leans back on his hands. “It’s not some scandalous story, so you can stop salivating, Mr. Drama Queen. I was a freshman, I had a crush on Daichi, a boy I played basketball with and therefore saw naked, or there about, a few times a week. I mostly managed to control myself, but one day I just couldn’t stop staring and—you know, got aroused. Koushi noticed and smuggled me out of the locker-room before anyone noticed. I was scared, but Koushi was nice, consoling and understanding. He told me Daichi, his best friend, was completely straight and that’s when he suggested a distraction, in the form of himself,” he finishes, shrugging.

Tetsurou hums thoughtfully. “Koushi’s done a lot for you. Not sure whether I want to thank him or hit him though.”

“Probably neither. You know that Koushi and I were never… We never had feelings for each other.”

“No, I know,” Tetsurou answers quickly, smiling reassuringly. “I have nothing against Koushi, he’s an amazing person and I’m so glad you have him in your life. Yet, all that logic doesn’t stop the idiotic jealousy at the thought of the two of you together.”

Kei snorts. “Now that I can understand. Which makes even less sense because Ana isn’t a good person and not someone you even remotely like.” He pauses and frowns. “Seriously, Tetsu, what were you thinking?”

Tetsurou laughs loudly, freely, and then leans into Kei, resting his head on Kei’s shoulder and groaning. “I have absolutely no idea. I don’t think I even was thinking,” he admits and sighs. “It sounds stupid, but, I honestly can’t tell you what the fuck I was doing before I met you, Kei. It wasn’t even that long ago and it just feels so strange to even attempt to remember. I don’t even want to think about the time before I met you. Feels… lonely.”

Kei stills, his heart swelling with Tetsurou’s words. He wants to say that it doesn’t sound stupid at all, that he feels the same way, that he’s never been happier than when he’s with Tetsurou. But he also doesn’t want to say any of that because that would be embarrassing and embarrassment is something Kei avoids at all costs. Instead, he leans into Tetsurou’s warmth and takes Tetsurou’s hand, holding it between his own and tracing patterns over his skin.

“Basketball, you were mostly focussed on basketball before you met me,” Kei finally responds, remembering all the times Tetsurou said ‘basketball is everything.’

“Right… Basketball…”

Tetsurou’s words are softly spoken and sound distracted, his fingers curling into Kei’s touch. Tetsurou’s weight lifts from Kei’s shoulder and he turns to meet Tetsurou’s magnetic gaze. Kei can feel it, feel the pull that drew him to Tetsurou’s lips that brave and misguided first time. Tetsurou’s eyes flutter down to his lips and Kei feels relief so profound it overwhelms his heart-racing anticipation.

Kei promised himself he’d follow Tetsurou’s lead, give him the time to grow accustomed to this new situation, but he’s been drowning with need. From that one real kiss they shared, Kei realised that kissing Tetsurou is worth the exaggeration of ‘best thing in the world’ and it’s been borderline impossible to wait. Kei wets his lips and—

Tetsurou’s glances away and Kei’s stomach drops.

“We should finish lunch,” Tetsurou says, sorting through the food. “You really should eat some blueberries, they’re high in Vitamin C and K.”

“I’m not hungry,” Kei mutters through clenched teeth. Something is wrong, he knows it is, and yet Tetsurou won’t tell him or talk to him. A drop of water splatters annoyingly over the left lens of his glasses, blurring the tense line of Tetsurou’s shoulders.

“Kei—”

Raindrops abruptly fall hard and heavy all around them and Kei glances up at the dark clouds blanketing the sky. The ‘I told you so’ tickles at the back of his throat, but Kei is too annoyed to say it. Instead he simply stands, completely unperturbed by the rain, as Tetsurou swears and hurriedly packs away the food and blanket.

Kei follows behind Tetsurou as they make their way back to Tetsurou’s house, his mind swimming with unanswered questions and musings that only get more troubling in the deafening downpour. He can’t feel the rain soak through his clothes, cold and heavy, and he can’t see the splatters of water blurring his vision. All Kei focuses on is the seething, aching worry that sits uncomfortably in his stomach until it boils over and he just stops walking.

Tetsurou seems to notice and turns back to him, hunching against the rain and frowning. _At least he cares that much_ , an absurd, bitter part of him thinks.

“Kei?” Tetsurou calls, raising his voice over the loud rain.

“Why won’t you kiss me?”

“What?”

“Why won’t you kiss me?” Kei demands, almost shouting though he knows Tetsurou heard the initial question and is merely surprised. “It’s been—what?—nearly a week. You avoid it, all the time and I can’t… Do you not want to? Is it because I’m…?”

Anger flashes over Tetsurou’s face. “Of course not!”

“Then why? Because I _know_ you’re avoiding it, I’m not stupid.”

Tetsurou sighs and glances up at the rain. “Do we have to do this here? Can’t we go inside?”

“Tell me _now_ ,” Kei growls.

“Of course I want to kiss you, Kei. I want to do nothing _but_ kiss you. But…” Tetsurou trails off, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ve already fucked up far too much to expect anything. I don’t ever want to push you or make you uncomfortable. I broke your trust, only a week ago, and I want to make sure you trust me and feel comfortable with me again before I even consider… other things. I want to let you set the pace, because I’m happy as long as you’re happy, Kei.”

For some reason, despite how well Kei knows him, he’s surprised by Tetsurou uncertainty and selflessness. Still in awe of Tetsurou’s ability to completely and utterly put the people he cares about before himself. For someone who’s usually so self-assured and charming and mischievous, Tetsurou freely exposes his vulnerability.

Kei sighs heavily. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Tetsurou.”

“I—sorry, I’m—”

Kei closes the distance between them in three long strides, so quickly that Tetsurou actually flinches backwards, probably thinking Kei is pissed off. Kei slows at the last second, cupping Tetsurou’s face and carefully, even in his desperate haste, kisses him. Tetsurou gasps against his mouth in surprise but his hands find Kei’s hips quickly, pulling him closer.

They’re both soaking wet and Kei has to push Tetsurou’s hair off his face where it’s flopped near their mouths, but Kei doesn’t care. All he cares about is the warmth of Tetsurou’s mouth, their lips sliding and sucking and tongues together, pressing and caressing. Kei arches his back, as if he could get any closer to Tetsurou, his fingers clutching frantically in the back of Tetsurou’s coat and in his hair. It’s the complete opposite of the last slow, soft kiss they shared, but it’s just as wonderful. A different kind of wonderful. Kei’s heart races and his breath rushes in and out his nose, anything so he doesn’t have to part from Tetsurou’s mouth, even though he feels slightly lightheaded.

“Kei,” Tetsurou murmurs against his mouth, but Kei doesn’t let up, doesn’t want to stop. “Kei, we… we should go… inside.”

Growling, Kei pulls back, but only far enough to stop kissing. “If you say some shit about getting sick in the rain.”

Tetsurou smiles, his lips pink and kiss swollen. “Of course not, being out in the rain doesn’t actually make you sick, that’s just a bunch of horseshit. But I’m getting kinda cold, and if I’m cold you must be freezing.”

Kei hums, because he is extremely cold but as long as he’s kissing Tetsurou he doesn’t notice it. He kisses Tetsurou once more but steps back, not wanting Tetsurou to be cold. The wet clothes do feel rather gross and he can’t see very clearly.

Smiling brightly, Tetsurou takes Kei’s hand and leads him back to his house. Fumbling with his keys, Tetsurou gets the door open and they almost fall through the door in their hurry to get inside, despite the fact that neither of them can possibly get any wetter. Panting heavily, Kei simply stands there, staring down at his dripping clothing.

“What now?” Kei asks, looking through the water distorted lenses of his glasses at a messy Tetsurou.

Tetsurou grimaces down at himself and then around at his perfectly pristine house. “Um. Shit. Okay, fuck it. Just take off your coat, socks and shoes and we’ll deal with the rest upstairs. It’s too cold here.”

Unlike Kei’s house, Tetsurou’s has central heating that seems to keep the entire house temperate, no matter the weather or season. Kei disagrees, thinks that it’s fairly warm downstairs, until they’re in Tetsurou’s bedroom and Kei just wants to sigh with relief at how pleasant it is. He didn’t know just how cold he really was and now the icy prickle of his wet clothing is almost unbearable.

Tetsurou grabs some towels from a cupboard and, without much thought, other than ‘must get warm’, Kei and Tetsurou strip out of their saturated clothing, turning away from each other with habitual locker-room etiquette. Kei cleans his glasses, not to his usual standard but tolerably, at least he can see.

Kei’s down to his t-shirt and boxer-briefs when realisation worms it’s way deep and distractingly into his mind. Fingers pausing at the hem of his shirt, he squeezes his eyes closed and listens carefully to the sticky sounds of wet clothes being removed. His jaw clenches as various images from the locker-rooms of Tetsurou’s bare skin flash provocatively through his mind and Kei can’t stop himself any more than he could from kissing Tetsurou that first time.

Slowly, Kei turns and as soon as his gaze meets Tetsurou’s naked form, his mouth goes completely dry. His gaze unabashedly roams the plains of damp, tanned skin; across the ridiculous, mature breadth of his solid shoulders, down the heavy muscles stretched over his shoulder blades, down the finer muscles of his back, to his slender waist and the dimples on his lower back. Kei’s fingers curl tightly, fighting the alarmingly powerful urge to touch the smooth skin over the swell of Tetsurou’s ass.

He holds his breath as his gaze moves down to Tetsurou’s coveted thighs, the skin Kei has seen the least, covered by the material of basketball shorts and towels. Tetsurou’s thighs are thick and strong, Kei knows how powerful they are, has watched him wrestle opponents under the basketball hoop and win with the strength of those thighs. A surge of overwhelming desire plunges in his abdomen. Kei _needs_ to touch him. _Now._

Tetsurou remains unmoving, Kei doesn’t know why, doesn't have the mental capacity to even contemplate why, until he feels those burning amber eyes on him. The desperate desire reflected back at him in Tetsurou’s eyes reels him in until he's standing within touching distance.

Kei pulls his own lip between his teeth and drags his tongue and teeth along it firmly as he gazes distractedly at the defined contours of Tetsurou’s muscles across his shoulders and chest. Entranced, Kei raises his hands to Tetsurou’s chest, fingertips gently skimming heated skin. He pushes his palms flat against the muscles and feels the rapid rise and fall of Tetsurou’s heavy breathing.

Gaze indulgently roaming up the length of Tetsurou’s neck, Kei feels his way up Tetsurou’s shoulders, squeezing the muscles there, and following the line of his gaze, coming to rest at his neck, thumb stroking over the erratic beat of his pulse point. Kei steps closer and, mercifully, brings their bodies together, his skin luxuriously warmed by Tetsurou’s. He meets Tetsurou’s gaze, brown irises a thin ring around lust blown pupils.

“It’s very dangerous,” Kei murmurs softly.

Tetsurou’s breath is hot against his lips. “What is?” he asks, voice low and rough.

“Allowing me to set the pace,” he explains, leaning in closer and maintaining eye contact. His lips brush Tetsurou’s as he whispers, “You have no idea the things I want to do to you, Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou’s sharp inhale is the only warning Kei gets before their lips are mashed together. Tetsurou tilts his head, breathing heavily into Kei’s mouth before sliding his tongue in and exploring his mouth. Tetsurou kisses him firmly, precisely, ardently; not soft or frantic like their previous kisses, but meaningful and measured. Kei melts into it, his fingers sliding greedily down Tetsurou’s chest, mapping the heated curves of muscle.

Tetsurou’s stomach hollows and he moans softly against Kei’s mouth as Kei’s fingers smooth down his stomach. Kei realises why and opens his eyes. He had been too lost in the overwhelming bliss of the kiss to notice the hardness pressed between them. Experimentally, Kei pushes his hips forward and watches Tetsurou’s brow furrow, a whimper escaping between their mouths. Flames lick pleasantly through Kei’s body, desperate heat curling in his abdomen and weakening his knees.

Smiling at their reciprocated need, Kei grabs Tetsurou’s hips, almost moaning again as his thumbs curl over his hip bones and his fingers press into the soft flesh of Tetsurou’s ass. Tetsurou follows obediently as Kei pulls him towards the bed.

Kei pulls back, Tetsurou chases his lips but Kei speaks.

“Lie down.”

Surprise registers on Tetsurou’s face for fraction of a second before he practically throws himself down on the bed and attempts to pull Kei down on top of him haphazardly. Kei resists, setting his glasses down on the bedside table and carefully pushing his knee between Tetsurou’s thighs, kneeling between them before laying down on top of him.

Resting his elbows on the bed either side of Tetsurou, Kei lowers himself and rolls his hips skilfully, creating desperately desired friction.

“Oh, fuck,” Tetsurou breathes, hands seeking Kei’s waist. Finding the damp cloth of his t-shirt, Tetsurou immediately slips his fingers under it, his warm hands sliding up Kei’s back. Kei pushes back onto his heels to pull the material over his head and throw it somewhere, anywhere, he’s really not paying much attention because Tetsurou’s arousal darkened eyes are burning heat through his skin everywhere they look. His neck, chest, waist, stomach, hips, thighs. He’s still damp from the rain but Kei can’t even feel it, not for the fire Tetsurou’s eyes and body and _existence_ sets alight in him.

Kei leans over him, breathing raggedly and using every ounce of will-power and control to stop himself from simply taking, from abruptly and enthusiastically drawing more desperate sounds from Tetsurou, from immediately setting about unravelling Tetsurou.

“Do you trust me?” Kei questions, holding Tetsurou’s gaze intently.

Tetsurou nods fervently. “Yes, yes, Kei. Of course I do.”

His hands reach up, fingers curling around Kei’s ribs and thumbs caressing reassuringly against his skin. Kei can see hints of nervousness and curiosity in Tetsurou’s expression and reminds himself that Tetsurou has only been with girls.

“I won’t do anything…” Kei trails off, uncertain how to finish that sentence. _Overtly homosexual?_ He can’t say that, he knows Tetsurou would trust him to do anything, no matter how ‘homosexual’, but wants to ease him into it. Instead, Kei lines up their cocks and presses their bodies together again. “Just…”

Kei rolls his body down and Tetsurou groans loudly, his hands sliding down to settle on Kei’s hips and pull at him encouragingly. So he does it, again and again, panting between deep, passionate kisses with anticipation and effort.

“God, _Kei_ , that feels _so_ _fucking_ —” Tetsurou cuts himself off, capturing Kei’s mouth and moaning into it.

The intense heat of Tetsurou’s skin everywhere it’s touching his own is overpowering and he tries to drown himself in the ecstasy inducing whimpering, groaning, moaning sounds Tetsurou makes, swallowing them hungrily. Kei finds himself chasing the sensation of Tetsurou’s pleasure rather than his own, focussing on the way Tetsurou trembles and writhes beneath him.

Tetsurou thrusts up against Kei, his hands tightly gripping Kei’s ass and attempting to pull him down at a faster pace, but Kei carefully controls the movement, rolling his hips deliberately. Until Tetsurou starts begging, needy and breathless and irresistible. Kei complies and hastens his movements, pleasure burning hot and low in his abdomen at the friction.

“Fuck, yes,” Tetsurou groans loudly, his head tilting back abruptly and thighs squeezing around him. Kei sets his mouth against Tetsurou’s throat, sucking at his flushed, damp skin and revelling at the reverberation of his moaning. “Kei, Kei, _fuck_ , Kei…”

Tetsurou is quickly losing himself, murmuring Kei’s name over and over and rutting desperately against him. Kei loves it, listens and feels and focusses on Tetsurou, savouring the skin-tingling sounds and breathtaking sight.

In his enthusiasm, Tetsurou’s fingers dip into the crevice of Kei’s ass and it sends an electric shock of pleasure up his spine. Kei arches his back and sucks a little too hard at Tetsurou’s neck. The pain seems to push Tetsurou over the edge, his body shuddering and tensing underneath Kei as he cries out, moaning Kei’s name. A new, warm wetness smears across Kei’s stomach and he continues to move until Tetsurou lets out a long breath and his body relaxes. Stopping seems to take more effort than continuing, but Kei ignores his aching cock in favour of watching Tetsurou coming down from his orgasm, eyes closed, expression calm and breath steadying.

Kei’s brushing back stubborn black strands of Tetsurou’s hair when Tetsurou’s eyes flutter open, a bright smile spreading his lips into a broad, satisfied grin. Then he frowns, glancing down between them.

“Kei,” Tetsurou says, hand sliding down Kei’s stomach and pressing against the painful erection tenting his boxer-briefs. Kei grits his teeth ineffectively, failing to bite back a groan. “You’re still hard.”

“I’m well aware,” Kei breathes, attempting to sound unaffected but missing the mark by a mile. “Tetsu—”

“Roll over,” Tetsurou instructs in his commanding Captain voice, which will now likely arouse Kei at every damn practice. Despite saying it, Tetsurou doesn’t even give Kei a chance to move, grabbing Kei’s hips and rolling him onto his back.

Tetsurou props himself up on his elbow, lying beside Kei and tilting his head to kiss him. The kiss is languid and deep, lacking the heat Kei _needs_. He’s about to take control or protest when he realises that Tetsurou is stalling, collecting himself and building up courage. So Kei lets him stall, gives him all the time he needs; enjoying Tetsurou, enjoying the kiss, enjoying the warmth, enjoying the closeness, enjoying his boyfriend and the fact that he’s even here, sharing this with Tetsurou.

Tetsurou’s hand smooths down his side, the gentle touch making Kei shiver, and he pushes his fingers beneath Kei’s waistband. Kei sighs against his mouth as Tetsurou’s fingers trail the sensitive skin at his hip and down his thigh, removing the boxer-briefs. Kei’s impossibly hard cock sits hot and heavy on his stomach and he forces himself not to touch it because he would do just about to anything right now to have Tetsurou touch him.

“How do I—? Do I just…?” Tetsurou murmurs, his voice tense and awkward as he looks down at Kei.

Unable to stop himself, Kei snickers and immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, as if that could stop it. He expects Tetsurou to bristle, and while his cheeks colour with minor embarrassment, he actually smiles fondly down at Kei.

“What? I don’t—I’ve never—”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Kei says sincerely, stretching up to kiss Tetsurou softly. “Here.”

Kei takes Tetsurou’s wrist and places his hand in the sticky come on Kei’s stomach and then moves it to his cock. The contact makes Kei’s hips jerk forward and he swears under his breath, breathing carefully and evenly because his control is about to snap but he wants – _needs_ – Tetsurou to do it, to do more.

“Just like jerking off,” Kei explains, meeting Tetsurou’s gaze steadily and watching his throat bob as he swallows hard and nods. “Honestly it probably won’t take much, after watching you come,” he murmurs, breath hitching and eyes fluttering closed as Tetsurou’s fingers curl firmly around him.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Kei.”

Tetsurou strokes his thumb along the vein on the underside of Kei’s cock and Kei immediately feels all his muscles tense, his toes curling. Tetsurou seals his lips over Kei’s moan and licks into his mouth. As Tetsurou strokes him, firmly and steadily and perfectly, with some guidance, Kei feels like all his nerve endings have been set on fire. Not just because he forgot how amazing it feels to have someone else do it, but _Tetsurou_ is _touching him_.

“Tet—Tetsu,” Kei gasps away from his mouth, fingers gripping into dark hair. Tetsurou rests his forehead against Kei’s, watching raptly. Kei can’t bring himself to care or be embarrassed by the intensity of his dark amber eyes, can’t focus on anything other than the smooth, slick motion of his strong hand stroking him, making him feel, “sh- _shit_ , so good, Tetsu. So, so—”

Tetsurou twists his wrist and slides his thumb over the head and it’s too much. Kei’s orgasm rushes through him forcefully, his back arching off the bed as he clenches his jaw and moans uncontrollably. It sears through his tensed muscles and aches blissfully down his spine.

The tingling sensation slowly fades and Tetsurou kisses his face – his cheeks, his nose, his forehead – tenderly, reverently. Kei leans into Tetsurou, but he moves away. He opens his eyes in a microsecond of panic, but Tetsurou merely reaches for the towel at the end of the bed and cleans the come off Kei’s stomach. The soft towel brushes his oversensitive skin and Kei flinches.

“Sorry,” Tetsurou says, throwing the towel away before lying back down beside Kei.

Silence falls between them and Kei listens to Tetsurou’s steady breathing, trying to match it with his own. He watches Tetsurou’s fingers trail tentatively down the pale skin of his chest and stomach, trailing the lines and curves of his muscles and ribs.

Tetsurou is unusually quiet, his expression pensive, and a sliver of worry breaches Kei’s peaceful, content mind. Had it been too much? Too soon? Was Tetsurou not ready to be this physical with him?

“I’m sorry, was that…?”

“Fucking wonderful? Best orgasm I’ve had? A religious experience watching you fall apart? Yes, yes and _hell_ yes,” Tetsurou says, tone playful but sincere.

Kei smirks, ignoring the pleasant flip in his stomach. “No, I meant, sorry if that was too soon or too fast or—”

“I swear to God, Kei, if you’re apologising for that, for literally the hottest and most fucking incredible thing that has ever happened to me, has ever been done to me, I might have to leave.”

Kei snorts. “I’d like to see you try.”

Tetsurou opens his mouth but hesitates, eyes roaming down Kei’s body. “Touché.”

With a deep sigh, Tetsurou settles his arm across Kei’s chest and curls into his side. Kei knows he wants to say something, but since he’s already guessed wrong once, he certainly won’t attempt to again. Tetsurou kisses him absently, his neck and jaw.

“Thank you, Kei,” he finally says, murmuring quietly against Kei’s neck.

With a frown, Kei faces him, their noses touching. “Will you ever stop thanking me?”

“Probably not.”

Kei clicks his tongue, exasperated. “What is it for this time?”

Tetsurou touches Kei’s face, thumb gently stroking across his cheekbone and fingers tangling through his damp hair. “For being patient with me. For being so fucking incredible – honestly, how you can do _that_ with your hips and then dance so stiffly, I will never know. For putting up with my idiocy. For wanting me. For kissing me in the rain,” he smiles, brilliantly, beautifully, breathtakingly. “For being you.”

Kei is grateful he’s lying down, grateful he’s probably already flushed, grateful his heart is still beating rapidly. It feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest and expose, too soon, how undeniably and irrevocably in love he is. He loves Tetsurou. Fuck, he loves Tetsurou so much.

“Why,” Kei grits out between his teeth, “are you so goddamn embarrassing?”

He shoves Tetsurou and is rewarded with a low, flirtatious chuckle as Tetsurou rolls half on top of him, holding him, kissing him. Kei welcomes it, melts into it, expressing his feelings through the kiss until he feels comfortable enough to tell Tetsurou. If it’s this overwhelming and intoxicating only a week into their relationship, Kei’s not sure how much longer he can restrain himself.

“We should probably shower,” Tetsurou says against his mouth. “You must be freezing.”

Kei hums. “You keep me warm,” he says, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Tetsurou's mouth before sitting up. “But, yes, shower please. I feel…” he grimaces, “soggy.”

“You go first then.”

Kei rolls his eyes. “Such a gentlemen. Come shower with me, idiot. We do it all the time and by the size of your house I bet it’s more than big enough.”

“I shall ignore all the penis innuendo you just laid out perfectly for me…” Tetsurou trails off and frowns. “Wait, that sounds even dirtier. Anyway,” he continues. “I’d like to point out that it’s a little different when we’re alone and ridiculously gay for each other.”

“We don’t have to do anything, Tetsu. I’m too tired,” Kei says, muscles aching with the memory of the intense game of basketball they’d won earlier in the day. “Just—come on.”

“Okay, fine. But I warn you, I have absolutely no control of my dick when I’m around you, especially when you’re naked and wet and unfairly attractive.”

Kei scoffs, following Tetsurou out of the room. “I don’t want to hear that from you.”

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://sarolonde.tumblr.com/)


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